I'm worried about my husband's stess level...

[libbylibs]

Hi-
I haven't posted much on here but I am really worried right now and am hoping that maybe someone in the forum can give me advice if you've been through it. My husband is finishing his second year and studying for the USMLE Step 1 and he is FREAKING out. He is very worried about getting a good enough score to not taint him forever in getting a residency and it is causing him to lose sleep and not to study well which just makes it worse. I just don't really know what to say to him because I couldn't even image taking such a horrific test (i am just an entry level chemist). He is starting to question if he even wants to be a doctor, but he doesn't think he can quit because we have too much debt now! I just don't know what to do because he is making himself physically ill by worrying so much (a possible stomach ulcer and VERY high blood pressure/heart rate all the time). Does it get better? Or is he going to be like this for the next 6 years? I don't think he is cut out for this kind of intense competition. Does anyone know what happens if you drop out of med school halfway through? are there other options that you can sort of transfer into that will not make these first two years a complete waste??? I would appreciate any ideas and advice, I am just REALLY worried about him.
Thanks!

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[efex101]

Taking the USMLE *is* a lot of stresss and to add to that if you want a competitive residency you just need to kick arse on it. This shall pass...all the MSII's are stressing out right now so it is not uncommon. Hell, I am even stressing (kind of) thinking of what lies ahead for me and I am just a measly MSI. I cannot even imagine what will be my life next year come this time...just hang in there it will get better.

 

[lovemydrhubby]

I hate seeing my husband get so stressed. He didn't *really* start to panic for the Step 1 until a few weeks before, so it wasn't too bad. I just tried to help as much as I could- ask him if he needed anything, try to plan some fun distractions, etc. He was ALL about getting into a competitive residency (didn't know what one or anything at that point). Now, 1 yr later, he's STILL not sure what residency he wants to go into and now he doesn't even place much emphasis on "prestige"- He's going to wind up interviewing dozens of places- lol. Anyway- there isn't much you can do to change his mind. Step 1 is important, but it's not THE only thing. Just remind him why he decided to become a doctor and what he likes about it. When he decided to go to med school it wasn't so he could be #1 all the time was it? I think they all get wrapped up in the competitiveness at times.

Good luck to him and make him sleep

 

[JAMMAN]

Step 1 is clearly an important test when it comes to securing a residency spot. A high score does make one more competitive in the application process. However, it is ony one part of the application process. Typically it is used as an important factor when selecting applicants for interviews at particularly competitive programs. Class rank, grades, research experience, interview and letters of recommendation are all factored in when creating a rank list. Applicants are not ranked merely by their board scores.

As far as tests go, it is harder than Step 2 or Step 3. But the testing doesn't end their. There are inservice exams during each year of residency and there are board certification and recertification exams after residency. The testing never ends, but hopefully the stress level will go down.

 

[jamie]

I don't think he should use his experiences studying for Step 1 as a reason to drop out of med school. How did he handle studying for the MCAT? I think I was more stressed studying for the MCAT than Step 1 (I am a fourth year, soon to graduate). It's natural to be stressed, as a lot of people put way too much emphasis on Step 1 scores -- like the others said, they can be improtant, but they are not the only thing, nor the most important part of an application. I have been in situations where I have been similarly stressed -- I couldn't sleep, I cried a lot, I was so stressed that I didn't eat and lost weight (I worked as a lab tech for a psycho boss). He can't just quit, but he's not doing himself any favors by making himself unhealthy, and his behavior is NOT healthy and NOT the norm. Step 1 is stressful, but you don't need to be a superhero to survive it or do well on it. Maybe he should look into talking with someone -- a dean, his doctor, or someone else who can help put it into perspective. Personally, I think it's bull to say "he'll get through it" without him trying to remedy things a little. There ARE lots of tests in the future, and no one benefits if he has little breakdowns before each one.

And no offense to you, (esp since you are a chemist -- you've been to college, you've done the science, you've had stress, too), but if i were stresed, and my husband tried to soothe things for me, tell me everything will be fine, just go to bed, that would piss me off. Obviously, you care, but when he is so stressed, you don't want people who haven't gone through similar experiences to tell you "everything will be just fine." (my mother does that, and it drives me nuts). He may need to hear it from someone who's been there and done that.

 

[CoffeeMug]

Just mix some valerian root extract into his tea.

 

[sapience8x]

can i just say- you ladies are so supportive of your husbands! I'M the med student and he's the spouse and i doubt he is even thinking about my stress level for the boards. it is all about how MY stress effects HIM not ME. i guess it's the gender difference but phew i wish he could be more supportive!