Is it all worth it in the end?

Harlem1210

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I'm a junior in high school, and I dedicate most of my time to my school work, sports, extracurriculars, and preparing for a career in medicine. I rarely have time to go out and do anything with friends, and when I do, the majority of things I can talk about are school or career related. In other words, I'm pretty boring. I'm confident things will get better in college when I'm around people as focused as I am, but is becoming a doctor worth sacrificing life outside of school and work?

Don't get me wrong, I am obsessed with medicine. I study anatomy books, watch videos of surgery, volunteer at a hospital, read articles...I'm hooked. I know this is what I'm passionate about. I don't care about the money I could make, I'd work for free if I meant I got to help people in such a significant and intimate way. My biggest fear is that even if I end up with my dream job, I won't be happy because I gave away my youth and social life to work.

What I'd like to know is:
-Is it realistic to be able to have a life (as in going out with friends, dating, spending time with family, etc.) as a med student and as a practicing doctor?
-Do you feel like you missed out on a lot because of the career path you chose?
-If you could do it all over again, would you still become a doctor?

I'm just trying to get different perspectives on this part of a doctor's lifestyle. Thank you in advance.



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I'm in a similar situation as you.
At this point, I just isolate myself from other people as bad as it sounds; this way I don't really crave much in terms of a social life nor will I be missing it in college or med school.
I don't care about the money I could make, I'd work for free if I meant I got to help people in such a significant and intimate way.
If you're not doing it for the money, why don't you become a humanitarian relief worker? You don't even have to go to school for that and you make some of the biggest impacts on people—possibly more so than a physician.
I'm afraid this mentality by itself won't be enough to get you through the grueling hours of med school, residency, debt, the social and physical sacrifices.
 
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If you're not doing it for the money, why don't you become a humanitarian relief worker? You don't even have to go to school for that and you make some of the biggest impacts on people—possibly more so than a physician.
I'm afraid this mentality by itself won't be enough to get you through the grueling hours of med school, residency, debt, the social and physical sacrifices.
Quite the opposite...if you're going into medicine for the money and not because of an unyielding desire to serve others, you won't make it. Or you will make it and you'll be a miserable human being. Medicine isn't the field to go into anymore if you want to make a ton of money, you will graduate with 200,000+ in debt and not see any substantial financial benefits until you're well into your career. This kid's desire to help people in a significant way will propel him through the really disheartening times ahead when classes and volunteering and shadowing and MCAT studying seem too overwhelming to go on.
 
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If you're not doing it for the money, why don't you become a humanitarian relief worker? You don't even have to go to school for that and you make some of the biggest impacts on people—possibly more so than a physician.
I'm afraid this mentality by itself won't be enough to get you through the grueling hours of med school, residency, debt, the social and physical sacrifices.

I appreciate the suggestion, however I think I would regret not becoming a physician. I would miss the medicine part too much xD. I'm not afraid of challenges I'm going to face, I strive to be high-achieving and I know I'm capable of finding success in medicine. I guess I just wanted to hear what others had to say. I value having a life outside of work, but not enough to deter me from something I have already invested myself in so much. About a year ago, I was confident I was going to be a nurse because I thought I could have it all--medicine, a life, and fulfilling patient interaction. However, after volunteering on a med/surg/peds floor for 6 months, I realized that the type of treatment nurses perform doesn't really match with what I aspire to do. They are wonderful, hardworking people for the most part, but it's not for me. So a physician I shall become:)


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Quite the opposite...if you're going into medicine for the money and not because of an unyielding desire to serve others, you won't make it. Or you will make it and you'll be a miserable human being. Medicine isn't the field to go into anymore if you want to make a ton of money, you will graduate with 200,000+ in debt and not see any substantial financial benefits until you're well into your career. This kid's desire to help people in a significant way will propel him through the really disheartening times ahead when classes and volunteering and shadowing and MCAT studying seems too overwhelming to go on.
I said selflessness is an important attribute to have as a physician but it can not be the only thing motivating you otherwise you'll burn out. The same can be said for pursing the field for only money or prestige.
If people only went into medicine because they were extremely selfless individuals who were willing to sacrifice their youth, money, and health for not much in return, there would be a much more serious physician shortage than there already is right now.

People WILL take advantage of those who are too selfless and don't know when to say no.
 
I said selflessness is an important attribute to have as a physician but it can not be the only thing motivating you otherwise you'll burn out. The same can be said for pursing the field for only money or prestige.
If people only went into medicine because they were extremely selfless individuals who were willing to sacrifice their youth, money, and health for not much in return, there would be a much more serious physician shortage than there already is right now.

People WILL take advantage of those who are too selfless and don't know when to say no.
There's a difference between being a selfless, compassionate physician and a doormat. I'm going into medicine for the "wanting to help people" reason (among other intellectual/scientific pursuit reasons) and I'm not motivated by money or ego (prestige). And if you're a person who doesn't know how to say no, you'll be taken advantage of in any career, that's a personality flaw, not a characteristic of a selfless person.
 
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I'm a junior in high school, and I dedicate most of my time to my school work, sports, extracurriculars, and preparing for a career in medicine. I rarely have time to go out and do anything with friends, and when I do, the majority of things I can talk about are school or career related. In other words, I'm pretty boring. I'm confident things will get better in college when I'm around people as focused as I am, but is becoming a doctor worth sacrificing life outside of school and work?

Don't get me wrong, I am obsessed with medicine. I study anatomy books, watch videos of surgery, volunteer at a hospital, read articles...I'm hooked. I know this is what I'm passionate about. I don't care about the money I could make, I'd work for free if I meant I got to help people in such a significant and intimate way. My biggest fear is that even if I end up with my dream job, I won't be happy because I gave away my youth and social life to work.

What I'd like to know is:
-Is it realistic to be able to have a life (as in going out with friends, dating, spending time with family, etc.) as a med student and as a practicing doctor?
-Do you feel like you missed out on a lot because of the career path you chose?
-If you could do it all over again, would you still become a doctor?


I'm just trying to get different perspectives on this part of a doctor's lifestyle. Thank you in advance.



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1. Yes, you can have a life - though not as much as college and depending on your specialty as an attending (everyone will have their idea of a balance)
2. I didn't miss out on much because I went to college not really considering medicine - took tough classes, fun classes, went out with friends and enjoyed the college experience. Then 4 yrs after UG I felt I was ready for medicine and I can't say I regret the choice so far.
3. I'm not a doctor yet but I've come to learn that life cannot always be planned and as such, even though I didn't take the most efficient route to medicine, I wouldn't really redo anything (since my experiences helped shape me into the person I am today).

I would suggest the following to you:
- Go to college and take a major that you enjoy and is somewhat marketable. Enjoy your college experience. Don't harp on being the typical 'pre-med' major - learn all you can and get involved in research as well as the other typical pre-med ECs.
- Really evaluate if you want to go down this path - shadow various doctors and get to know the ins and outs of being a doctor. Obsessions are good to a degree, but don't overdo it since that is a formula for burnout - there will be plenty of that stuff once you get to med school.
- Happiness is subjective and largely dependent on perspective - adjust your perspective so that you can enjoy this long training path. Good luck and remember this is a marathon.
 
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I'm a junior in high school, and I dedicate most of my time to my school work, sports, extracurriculars, and preparing for a career in medicine. I rarely have time to go out and do anything with friends, and when I do, the majority of things I can talk about are school or career related. In other words, I'm pretty boring. I'm confident things will get better in college when I'm around people as focused as I am, but is becoming a doctor worth sacrificing life outside of school and work?

Don't get me wrong, I am obsessed with medicine. I study anatomy books, watch videos of surgery, volunteer at a hospital, read articles...I'm hooked. I know this is what I'm passionate about. I don't care about the money I could make, I'd work for free if I meant I got to help people in such a significant and intimate way. My biggest fear is that even if I end up with my dream job, I won't be happy because I gave away my youth and social life to work.

What I'd like to know is:
-Is it realistic to be able to have a life (as in going out with friends, dating, spending time with family, etc.) as a med student and as a practicing doctor?
-Do you feel like you missed out on a lot because of the career path you chose?
-If you could do it all over again, would you still become a doctor?

I'm just trying to get different perspectives on this part of a doctor's lifestyle. Thank you in advance.



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1. It is absolutely realistic to have a life in High School, College, Medical School, and beyond. It is a PERSONAL CHOICE how much you decide to put into your work, and your personal life. But I'm a believet that you must have a good balance. Anything in excess is potentially detrimental (true with many things in life). At this stage of your academic career, I really think you should be enjoying time with friends, extracurriculars (sports), and enjoying your family. This is also true as you move forward. Make time for your friends and family -- at the end of the day we all have our jobs, but without that, what do we have? Personal relationships! Find that balance.

2. You should absolutely expect to miss out on some things at each stage of your career (except high school, you shouldn't miss out on anything here). In college there were many weekends where I was doing research in the lab when the rest of my buddies were out partying or hanging out etc. But you find when you need to put the books down and go have fun - prioritize it, because you'll need it to keep your sanity when you're studying hard. During medical school, you will definitely miss out on stuff - I have missed weddings, family events, birthdays, etc. There is limited flexibility in medical school because the schedule is so rigid and focused but you get the luxury of getting Major holidays off most of the time and getting spring breaks etc like you get in High School. Again, enjoy this because once you're out in the working world you don't get these all the time, especially not the extended breaks.

3. As I'm about to head off into residency (fingers crossed that I match) I would have absolutely done it again. Like you I figured out in HS that I wanted to do medicine and I've stayed focused since then on my goal - its been a journey, wouldn't trade it for any other career. As a physician you get to do incredible things, and meet incredible people....opportunities to share moments with your patients and colleagues that are incredibly special and fulfill your soul if you truly have a passion for this profession - not to be dramatic but once you are in the thick of it, you'll understand.

tl;dr: Enjoy the heck out of high school AND College - make friends, study abroad, do things that make you happy while staying focused on your goals. DONT SACRIFICE PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS for your career or you'll never make it.
 
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1. It is absolutely realistic to have a life in High School, College, Medical School, and beyond. It is a PERSONAL CHOICE how much you decide to put into your work, and your personal life. But I'm a believet that you must have a good balance. Anything in excess is potentially detrimental (true with many things in life). At this stage of your academic career, I really think you should be enjoying time with friends, extracurriculars (sports), and enjoying your family. This is also true as you move forward. Make time for your friends and family -- at the end of the day we all have our jobs, but without that, what do we have? Personal relationships! Find that balance.

2. You should absolutely expect to miss out on some things at each stage of your career (except high school, you shouldn't miss out on anything here). In college there were many weekends where I was doing research in the lab when the rest of my buddies were out partying or hanging out etc. But you find when you need to put the books down and go have fun - prioritize it, because you'll need it to keep your sanity when you're studying hard. During medical school, you will definitely miss out on stuff - I have missed weddings, family events, birthdays, etc. There is limited flexibility in medical school because the schedule is so rigid and focused but you get the luxury of getting Major holidays off most of the time and getting spring breaks etc like you get in High School. Again, enjoy this because once you're out in the working world you don't get these all the time, especially not the extended breaks.

3. As I'm about to head off into residency (fingers crossed that I match) I would have absolutely done it again. Like you I figured out in HS that I wanted to do medicine and I've stayed focused since then on my goal - its been a journey, wouldn't trade it for any other career. As a physician you get to do incredible things, and meet incredible people....opportunities to share moments with your patients and colleagues that are incredibly special and fulfill your soul if you truly have a passion for this profession - not to be dramatic but once you are in the thick of it, you'll understand.

tl;dr: Enjoy the heck out of high school AND College - make friends, study abroad, do things that make you happy while staying focused on your goals. DONT SACRIFICE PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS for your career or you'll never make it.
I agree with this. Every stage of your education after highschool will put increasing demands on your time. You can, and should, find things outside of your studies that keep you sane. The amount of time you can dedicate to family, relationships, sports, etc., will depend on what you love to do and what kind of student you are. Some people in both college and med school have to study more than others for the same grade, but almost everyone needs some personal time, or they'll go crazy.
 
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I have already invested myself in so much. About a year ago, I was confident I was going to be a nurse
These two ideas are contradictory, given most people's conception of time. It illustrates your psychological environment -- quite frankly you haven't at this point put anything into becoming a physician aside from entertaining the idea and being curious about the work. Now that's good! It's important to go into college informed about the process, so please keep up the enthusiasm. It helps a lot to know as much as possible before you even encounter problems, in practice.

Some things I recommend, since I was in your position not too long ago :

Try to have a realistic perception of where you are. From my view, you're in the "what doctors do looks cool and I want to do that" phase. You have yet to really work much in that direction. This is good both because it's normal given your level of education and because you still have lots of time to really tell if Medicine is what you want to get into or if another career field is really "calling" you. In that way, don't limit yourself too much going in -- keep an open mind about your talents and where they lie!
That said ... if you want to go to med school, go into college with that in mind. Start the prereqs and learn how you study best, shadow a few doctors and maybe volunteer a bit, though not too heavily at first. No need to weigh yourself down and create unnecessary stress. The point that early on (freshman year) is to do well academically whilst also learning about medicine and healthcare.
There're so many good opportunities to learn fun skills and meet diverse people at university. Make use of those resources!! I learned how to ride and take care of horses and got involved with martial arts. You'll learn that premed is a lot, but in no way is it everything.
Take everything your premed advisor says with a heavy dose of skepticism. Bet everything they tell you with careful fact-checking because they very likely never went through the process themselves and what they know is possibly outdated or fallacious.

As far as whether or not Medicine is worth it financially, physically and personally, that is very much up to you, but is not necessarily something you can make much determination about, at this juncture. If it's something you're interested in now, work toward it carefully and with an open mind, and cross the various bridges when you meet them.
 
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Buddy you haven't invested any time yet. Try 5 years of college, 6 years of medical school (research yr and intern type year) and 3 years of residency. This time that I've spent is more then your total education thus far.

Heed the advice.

If you've hear of the rock in the jar story, follow it. Put your big rocks in first (things that you value) otherwise you will never have the opportunity. Friends, family only come once. Good luck

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If you've hear of the rock in the jar story, follow it. Put your big rocks in first (things that you value) otherwise you will never have the opportunity. Friends, family only come once. Good luck
With all due respect, that is an extremely arbitrary statement. What one values the most (whether it be materialistic or idealistic) is completely subjective.
 
If you have no life in high school and are hoping for more free time as you get closer to becoming a doctor, I have bad news for you. You have more free time now than you'll ever get as you go further down this road. So go out and live life a bit, rather than hope to be surrounded by more focused people later.
 
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The real question is: what is the end?
There are two types of people that study too much: those who do too much because it's important, and those who do it so they say they can.
 
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There are two types of people that study too much: those who do too much because it's important, and those who do it so they say they can.
There are many more than two types. The OP might even be doing it because it's an easy ready made excuse to avoid the stresses of certain social settings/opportunities. And I imagine some people enjoy it, but there's time enough for that later -- you wouldn't want to get burnt out at 17. If you are in high school and studying for med school I doubt you are doing it for bragging rights. And we all know how important it isn't at this stage.
 
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