I have taken the pre reqs and took some time off to work andcsave up some money to finish classes. I was gonna take the MCAT in 2013 but a flood ****ed up the state and i never rescheduled due to financial reasons. In the last 6 months I've missed the sciences and i know its my passion/dream. Today i told my mom that i was gonna start studyin and want to be a dr. I said"would you prefer me to dread going in, dispise my job and hate my life or follow my dreams." before i could finish she said yes to me hating my life, which stung a lot. Im 30 and my gd and her family fully supports me. I just had to vent. How fuged up is the fact that she wants me to have a horrible life than live my dreams????
Lack of support
- Thread starter gunito
- Start date
Good for you on not giving up and dont allow anyone to squash your dreams. Im in my 30s just got out the military and my dream is to be a dr. Dream on!
D
deleted640852
You're not alone. I once received an interview for a rather lucrative position in Boston. I needed my parents to watch my child for me. I emailed them with this request and their response was, "We don't want you to move to Boston. We would never see our grandchild. It's expensive there and dangerous". They then rattled off alternative cities to apply and they were equally as "dangerous". I used to live in Baltimore, by the way...and I have been to several different countries, alone. hahaha
They then went on in their email to say that if I needed ANYTHING, to let them know.
Yeah, I needed you to watch my child for me so I could go interview at this place...
Anyway, they've never truly been supportive of me. It doesn't matter.
Don't let your mother's lack of support harm your drive to become a physician. I have always done what I wanted to do no matter the lack of support. It's a fact. Your mother is going to have her feelings. Don't try to change her. Try to remain positive and change your reaction to the situation.
They then went on in their email to say that if I needed ANYTHING, to let them know.
Yeah, I needed you to watch my child for me so I could go interview at this place...
Anyway, they've never truly been supportive of me. It doesn't matter.
Don't let your mother's lack of support harm your drive to become a physician. I have always done what I wanted to do no matter the lack of support. It's a fact. Your mother is going to have her feelings. Don't try to change her. Try to remain positive and change your reaction to the situation.
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Some parents are jealous of their children's success and/or dreams.
The more you let her get under your skin, the more she wins. Deny her this.
The more you let her get under your skin, the more she wins. Deny her this.
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Are you living at home and if so will that interfere with studying? If so then you might find it helpful to get out first. If not then it's time to prove to mom that you can do it and either she'll be proud or you can hold your head up and know you made it despite the adversity.
Some families/parents are very much focused on filling basic needs like food, rent, clothing, etc and anything beyond that is just too much of a stretch to even dream about. I've seen many low income families work multiple jobs and as one migrant farmer mom put it in regards to her elementary school daughter, "my girl don't need much math to pick vegetables." If your mom falls into this category then her attitude might not be malicious but just very near term practical. That in no way means you shouldn't do what is needed to make it!
QofQuimica
Seriously, dude, I think you're overreacting....
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Did you ask her why she feels that way? Before dismissing her opinion out of hand, if she's someone who knows you well and has a good handle on your strengths and weaknesses, you should at least consider the possibility that maybe she's trying to steer you away from what she views as a huge mistake, rather than knee-jerk interpreting what she says as her wanting you to despise your life. On the other end, if she really is that petty, then why are you discussing your life plans with her in the first place?
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You're not alone. I once received an interview for a rather lucrative position in Boston. I needed my parents to watch my child for me. I emailed them with this request and their response was, "We don't want you to move to Boston. We would never see our grandchild. It's expensive there and dangerous". They then rattled off alternative cities to apply and they were equally as "dangerous". I used to live in Baltimore, by the way...and I have been to several different countries, alone. hahaha
They then went on in their email to say that if I needed ANYTHING, to let them know.
Yeah, I needed you to watch my child for me so I could go interview at this place...
Anyway, they've never truly been supportive of me. It doesn't matter.
Don't let your mother's lack of support harm your drive to become a physician. I have always done what I wanted to do no matter the lack of support. It's a fact. Your mother is going to have her feelings. Don't try to change her. Try to remain positive and change your reaction to the situation.
This kind of behavior astounds but it doesn't surprise me. I'm lucky enough to have parents who have supported me through everything I've done (emotionally, not financially). But my mom has stories of the kind of **** her own mother (my grandmother) used to pull, selfish behavior, decisions made out of fear and jealousy rather than love. Both of my parents have made a point to take the opposite road with me. I hope that if I should one day have children, I never hold them back from doing the things they want to do.
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Yep. Many parents have tunnel vision goals for their children: go to school (preferably quickly), get a job, have a family, etc.
Going to medical school is so different from this vision that many parents cannot even consider it for their children.
Good thing for you, OP, is that you get to decide what you want to do. If you want to get into medical school, then work towards that. I guarantee you it'll be much more worthwhile to attempt to accomplish your true goals instead of doing something else to make your mother happy.
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I second that!
