Leaving a volunteer lab: How not to look bad on CV

[CKAW]

Hi Guys,

So I'm a post-bac working 20 hours a week in a lab and it's really not working out. Nothing dramatic, but it's just not a good fit and kind of a hostile environment with a very passive aggressive boss and a general level of sexist unpleasantness. This was going to be my third LOR. Fortunately, I've found something more promising that starts in August.

So, any feelings on how to proceed? Do you think Aug-Nov or so will be enough time for the new lab to give an LOR, or will people wonder why I didn't get one from the current lab? Any advice on how to proceed with minimum awkwardness? Just looking for general insight. Thanks a lot guys.

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[CheetahGirl]

1) What type of relationship do you have thus far with your new lab director? Could you be straightfoward and ask "if I demonstrate excellent service and dedication to your lab in the upcoming months, would you consider writing me a LOR to graduate programs in Nov...if I check back with you then?"

2) How long have you been at your current lab? Could you sit down with your current lab director and explain that you have now found a better fit for research and express your gratitude for the opportunity & experience you've had with his/her lab? IMO you will need to forego any LOR from the lab your leaving unless you have been there longer than one year...I just don't see any sort of commitment to you (on the behalf of the former lab director) to offer you a LOR and then see you run in the opposite direction...but, hey, it could happen and the "passive aggressive boss" could be awesome enough to offer a LOR upon your departure. But if you frame it as a 'better fit' and 'highly desired future opportunity' and are gracious about initially taking you on, rather than existing in "unpleasant," "sexist," "hostile" environment, then you will get more bees with honey - so to speak. No one should block you for wanting to better yourself.

3) How to exist in the current environment? Honor whatever commitment/agreement you made originally if you can...so you can maintain your integrity, but if it is too much to bear for 20 hours per week...give two weeks notice and start your new lab ASAP so you can start accruing good graces now...in time for fall applications.

...IMO even though this is 'volunteer' work, you should still 'do as you want to proceed.' By that I mean, maintain your integrity, honor your commitment, and upgrade the standards. I've been part of my volunteer (sexual assault and domestic violence) organization for more than 8 years, and it has afforded me many worthwhile experiences that are all directly relevant to the clinical work and research I do now. If I was frivolous about it (not saying that you are, OP), then my experiences would be completely different. Plus it demonstrates true dedication to 'the work.'

Good luck!

 

[dale.gribble]

Does the unpleasant boss actively hold any biases or the like towards you? I'm assuming not, given you were seeking a LOR. If it's just the case that it's a bad fit for you, I would ride it out and kill them with kindness. There's nothing wrong with keeping your feelings to yourself and leaving in an appropriate manner, even if it's unexpected on your boss's part. If they're enough of a tool to use that as a reason to change their opinion of you in a LOR, you're probably better off anyway. Such unprofessional ism is usually painfully obvious, and you don't want to be associated with that person any more than necessary.

If there's something specific to you (just or unjust) that you're worried about, then I echo the sentiment of fulfilling your commitment despite how much it might suck. You'd be surprised at what good sometimes comes out of riding it out.

 

[CKAW]

Thanks guys. Answers to questions:

Length of time at lab -- I've been here for about 2 months.

Relationship with new lab director -- no relationship. I have a friend who RA's in his lab, so I cold emailed him and he said sure, come in to talk about opportunities.

Relationship with current boss -- who knows. Hard to tell if she actively dislikes me or just isn't very pleasant. It's a large lab and I'm working directly under a grad student, so it's not the person who initially accepted me for the position.

Honestly, I don't expect a good LOR and it's kind of excruciating to spend so much time here. I'm thinking about scaling back to 10 hours a week and riding out the summer. I initially emailed the PI asking for a "summer research position" and it was ambiguous whether I was going to stay on or not. I might just leave in August and tell people it was a temporary position from the beginning if anyone asks.