"Leaving" the MD for PhD

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Pathd

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Hi everyone, I was wondering if I could get a couple of opinions on my situation because there's really no one I can talk to at my school about it.

I am currently in a Special Masters Program and am finishing up in May. I did pretty well in all my med school classes (Histo, Embryo, Physio, Biochem, Med MolCellBio), so theoretically, in two weeks I should be hearing about my acceptance to the medical school. However, after going through this year, I'm thinking of leaving medicine to do a PhD instead.

Honestly if I had a chance to do it all over again CORRECTLY the first time, I would have done the MD/PhD but with my grades/scores (3.2, 32R) despite my research experience (2 years undergrad from a well-known research institution, 3 years working in pharma, a couple of abstracts and 2nd-author publication) I didn't have a shot of getting in. I really am fascinated by the medical science and learning about what people do clinically to treat diseases and how to improve upon current treatments, but how realistic will it be for me to do some basic science/translational research on the side as just an MD? Personally, I'm not that interested in clinical research or doing medical affairs.

The only fields of medicine that I can see myself interested in doing are ped heme/onc, neonatology/med genetics, or pathology, but even then I don't believe there are that many research opportunities outside of clinical practice. Also, I'm a bit uncomfortable with having that much responsibility over another person's life (in two of those specialities matters of life or death).

Am I being unrealistic about my decision? Do you guys see any pros/cons that I haven't listed? I know the job market is a lot better if you have an MD, helpful if you have a scientific research mind as well, but the cost of the training is huge (close to $200k in debt after 4 years) and tough/trying at times. The two people who I've talked to about it tell me that it's better to have options and stick out the MD, especially since I won't have to retake those M1 classes again next year, leaving me with time to take on a research project.

The PhD program I'm planning to go to is in the "hard," more quantitative sciences (Chem, Chemical Bio). At this point, would it be futile for me to try to apply to MD/PhD programs this upcoming cycle? The school I'm going to has a MD/PhD program but it is probably one of the top programs in the nation, and realistically I won't be able to switch in.

Anyway, thanks for listening and thanks in advance for your help. I'm open to any comments and advice.

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