Looking myself in the mirror now - a regretful resident

[gasresident1]

Hi,
I’m a CA3 and I’m lost. I’m lost because I fabricated this idea that all would be ok, and it’s not. I failed to match neurosurgery 4 years ago due to my ineptitude to take standardized tests. There were 6 failed residents my year, the 5 others took time off, re applied and are all residents in neurosurgery. My brother is a PgY 7 and just got his job offer…$900k plus 4K per call night plus RVU bonus. This is in Florida. My starting salary in the same city is 380k, with the hope of going up to 480k after 3 years. I was the valedictorian just like my brother, I was a Rhodes scholar, I just can’t take tests. Now I get pressured by neurosurgeons to get the a line in 5 seconds so we can pin. The crna comes in and changes my vent settings and decreases my flow rate because she knows more about renal toxicity than I. I will never have the 4 million dollar house, the fancy vacations, or anything my brother and his wife (also neurosurgery) will have. My only hope for happiness may have been pain but my ITE scores sucked so I never tried. I will be a poor, noctor my whole life working at the whim of orthos and neurosurgeons making 2-3x as much as I do.

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[abolt18]

Hi,
I’m a CA3 and I’m lost. I’m lost because I fabricated this idea that all would be ok, and it’s not. I failed to match neurosurgery 4 years ago due to my ineptitude to take standardized tests. There were 6 failed residents my year, the 5 others took time off, re applied and are all residents in neurosurgery. My brother is a PgY 7 and just got his job offer…$900k plus 4K per call night plus RVU bonus. This is in Florida. My starting salary in the same city is 380k, with the hope of going up to 480k after 3 years. I was the valedictorian just like my brother, I was a Rhodes scholar, I just can’t take tests. Now I get pressured by neurosurgeons to get the a line in 5 seconds so we can pin. The crna comes in and changes my vent settings and decreases my flow rate because she knows more about renal toxicity than I. I will never have the 4 million dollar house, the fancy vacations, or anything my brother and his wife (also neurosurgery) will have. My only hope for happiness may have been pain but my ITE scores sucked so I never tried. I will be a poor, noctor my whole life working at the whim of orthos and neurosurgeons making 2-3x as much as I do.

Sounds rough... Terrible awful life ahead.

 

[NICMAN]

Amazon product

You are welcome.

 

[gasresident1]

I may also break up with my girlfriend. As much as I like her, she only makes 100k a year and I’ll never be happy in comparison to how much better my sibling’s family is. I owe it to her to find someone happy and content with life.

 

[deleted966837]

Just think how bad your brother feels. He only makes around a million per year, yet is surrounded by people who probably make several million. I am sorry the world has dealt you such a difficult hand. My condolences.

 

[Mman]

I may also break up with my girlfriend. As much as I like her, she only makes 100k a year and I’ll never be happy in comparison to how much better my sibling’s family is. I owe it to her to find someone happy and content with life.

or you could give up the notion that money equals happiness.

You are guaranteed a salary higher than the vast majority of the people on Earth for decades if you so desire. Any unhappiness in your life is surely not related to money.

 

[Zekchar]

1st world problems are still problems. You have the upper eschelon of first world problems. I would recommend counseling. Never forget:

"Comparison is the thief of joy"

The 500K/yr orthopod is jealous of the 1M/yr neurosurgeon. The 1M/yr neurosurgeon is jealous of the 3M/yr hospital CEO. The 3M/yr CEO is jealous of the 10M/yr private equity hedge fund manager .... it goes on and on. FInd your "enough" or you will never be happy.

 

[dannyboy1]

Hi,
I’m a CA3 and I’m lost. I’m lost because I fabricated this idea that all would be ok, and it’s not. I failed to match neurosurgery 4 years ago due to my ineptitude to take standardized tests. There were 6 failed residents my year, the 5 others took time off, re applied and are all residents in neurosurgery. My brother is a PgY 7 and just got his job offer…$900k plus 4K per call night plus RVU bonus. This is in Florida. My starting salary in the same city is 380k, with the hope of going up to 480k after 3 years. I was the valedictorian just like my brother, I was a Rhodes scholar, I just can’t take tests. Now I get pressured by neurosurgeons to get the a line in 5 seconds so we can pin. The crna comes in and changes my vent settings and decreases my flow rate because she knows more about renal toxicity than I. I will never have the 4 million dollar house, the fancy vacations, or anything my brother and his wife (also neurosurgery) will have. My only hope for happiness may have been pain but my ITE scores sucked so I never tried. I will be a poor, noctor my whole life working at the whim of orthos and neurosurgeons making 2-3x as much as I do.

Not sure this is serious. I have never been even remotely jealous of the neurosurgeons, with the 100 hr workweeks for a 7 year residency, being gloved/gowned for 10 hr surgeries while I’m chilling on the phone or in the lounge….

 

[gasdoc77]

Hi,
I’m a CA3 and I’m lost. I’m lost because I fabricated this idea that all would be ok, and it’s not. I failed to match neurosurgery 4 years ago due to my ineptitude to take standardized tests. There were 6 failed residents my year, the 5 others took time off, re applied and are all residents in neurosurgery. My brother is a PgY 7 and just got his job offer…$900k plus 4K per call night plus RVU bonus. This is in Florida. My starting salary in the same city is 380k, with the hope of going up to 480k after 3 years. I was the valedictorian just like my brother, I was a Rhodes scholar, I just can’t take tests. Now I get pressured by neurosurgeons to get the a line in 5 seconds so we can pin. The crna comes in and changes my vent settings and decreases my flow rate because she knows more about renal toxicity than I. I will never have the 4 million dollar house, the fancy vacations, or anything my brother and his wife (also neurosurgery) will have. My only hope for happiness may have been pain but my ITE scores sucked so I never tried. I will be a poor, noctor my whole life working at the whim of orthos and neurosurgeons making 2-3x as much as I do.

Since each field has it's advantages, instead of seeking the monetary advantages of a revenue-generating (for the hospital) specialty, maximally capitalize on the time-sparing advantages of a specialty with no continuity of care.
Find the most minimal-call-taking shiftwork available. Maybe part time academics or a day doc with a PP for defined hours. Outpatient centers can be more hours than you anticipate.
Know that with progressive taxes, etc, you will be maximizing your per-hour take home pay.

Let the neurosurgeons take their work home with them every day.

 

[abolt18]

Not sure this is serious. I have never been even remotely jealous of the neurosurgeons, with the 100 hr workweeks for a 7 year residency, being gloved/gowned for 10 hr surgeries while I’m chilling on the phone or in the lounge….

I def don't think it's serious, which is why I gave a less than serious response.

 

[gasresident1]

You are never jealous in residency when they work more and still make the same. However when you are an attending working just as hard to fit your schedule around their business essentially (you work on their time) to make less than half…well then it hits and it hits hard. I’ve felt empty for weeks now.

 

[abolt18]

You are never jealous in residency when they work more and still make the same. However when you are an attending working just as hard to fit your schedule around their business essentially (you work on their time) to make less than half…well then it hits and it hits hard. I’ve felt empty for weeks now.

Lol except you're "still a resident."

If it's so miserable, I hear McDonald's is hiring all over the country. Trucking companies need good drivers. Manufacturers need laborers. The job marker is ripe for the taking.

 

[Mman]

You are never jealous in residency when they work more and still make the same. However when you are an attending working just as hard to fit your schedule around their business essentially (you work on their time) to make less than half…well then it hits and it hits hard. I’ve felt empty for weeks now.

go work somewhere else then.

I make more money than our neurosurgeons and work less!

 

[Onefellswoop87]

Since each field has it's advantages, instead of seeking the monetary advantages of a revenue-generating (for the hospital) specialty, maximally capitalize on the time-sparing advantages of a specialty with no continuity of care.
Find the most minimal-call-taking shiftwork available. Maybe part time academics or a day doc with a PP for defined hours. Outpatient centers can be more hours than you anticipate.
Know that with progressive taxes, etc, you will be maximizing your per-hour take home pay.

Let the neurosurgeons take their work home with them every day.

If this post is remotely serious, putting OP in academics with expectations to teach or mentor anesthesia residents is a terrible idea.

 

[deleted875186]

Sounds like someone who never worked before going to Med school. Any average person would kill to have an anesthesiologists job.

 

[coffeebythelake]

Hi,
I’m a CA3 and I’m lost. I’m lost because I fabricated this idea that all would be ok, and it’s not. I failed to match neurosurgery 4 years ago due to my ineptitude to take standardized tests. There were 6 failed residents my year, the 5 others took time off, re applied and are all residents in neurosurgery. My brother is a PgY 7 and just got his job offer…$900k plus 4K per call night plus RVU bonus. This is in Florida. My starting salary in the same city is 380k, with the hope of going up to 480k after 3 years. I was the valedictorian just like my brother, I was a Rhodes scholar, I just can’t take tests. Now I get pressured by neurosurgeons to get the a line in 5 seconds so we can pin. The crna comes in and changes my vent settings and decreases my flow rate because she knows more about renal toxicity than I. I will never have the 4 million dollar house, the fancy vacations, or anything my brother and his wife (also neurosurgery) will have. My only hope for happiness may have been pain but my ITE scores sucked so I never tried. I will be a poor, noctor my whole life working at the whim of orthos and neurosurgeons making 2-3x as much as I do.

Since you have such a materialistic tint, let me say that your first mistake is thinking that your earnings from work is what makes up the bulk of your money, without consideration for opportunity cost and quality of life

 

[TheIllusionist]

Be a sick ****. Don't be a sad ...

Zyzz

 

[GravelRider]

Suck it up, you’re a murse now and there is nothing you can do about it. Pull up your big boy murse pants, sign the crna’s chart, and find something other than your job to give you happiness…and meaning, if you need it.

 

[Lookingforlolz]

Seriously, is this entire thread a troll? What planet am I on right now? Dudes about to break up with his Gf because she doesn’t make 100k?

As another commenter said, there’s no way you’ve ever worked a minimum wage or labor intensive job in your life, and it’s painfully obvious.

 

[gasresident1]

I actually have! I worked at the NIH for 2 years making 30k a year

 

[gasresident1]

Anesthesia was my only hope. It was this or like IM. I failed to match neurosurgery. I should be happy and grateful to God. I truly was. Now that reality is hitting and the $ is showing it’s true light, I’m regretful. Regretful that I am essentially a glorified nurse making double a nurse’s salary and half a surgeon’s. What have I become? Where did my life go wrong?

 

[gasresident1]

I realize no further training or job can fix this sentiment. I’ll never make 900k in anesthesia, and it’s too late for chronic interventional pain hopes. I should have had realistic expectations. I was so focused on training all these years that I forgot or hid all these feelings. Job offers re surfaced them.

 

[dabears505]

Is this a real account or some trolling?

 

[Arch Guillotti]

Is this a real account or some trolling?

No more popcorn munching emoji so this will have to do, theatre-style.

 

[DocMcCoy]

Hate feeding the troll but why as a CA3 is this all hitting you now?? Not quite sure standardize testing is your only issue. Ca1 year does a good job of telling you if anesthesia is a good fit. You either missed the message or your residency did you a serious disservice. On the bright side, There are waaaay worse dr(murse) jobs out there. Keep your chin up And go study sevo flow rates and renal toxicity again… if at all serious.

 

[gasdoc77]

If this post is remotely serious, putting OP in academics with expectations to teach or mentor anesthesia residents is a terrible idea.

Many if not most academic centers sold out years ago. They want clinical grunts just like the rest. Sorry if u missed the memo.

 

[GravelRider]

Anesthesia was my only hope. It was this or like IM. I failed to match neurosurgery. I should be happy and grateful to God. I truly was. Now that reality is hitting and the $ is showing it’s true light, I’m regretful. Regretful that I am essentially a glorified nurse making double a nurse’s salary and half a surgeon’s. What have I become? Where did my life go wrong?

Wow. You really screwed up. You could have done IM then cardiology and been an interventional cardiologist. Instead of saving lives and walking out of the hospital with a blonde in each arm, you do preops and wear a bouffant.

 

[dabears505]

 

[Barleycorn]

If this is serious, I suggest counseling. No one is going to throw a pity party for you, nor should they. You may also consider working a desk job outside of medicine to see how much the average person prizes even an 80K salary, let alone what you are making.

 

[Test Boy]

Anesthesia was my only hope. It was this or like IM. I failed to match neurosurgery. I should be happy and grateful to God. I truly was. Now that reality is hitting and the $ is showing it’s true light, I’m regretful. Regretful that I am essentially a glorified nurse making double a nurse’s salary and half a surgeon’s. What have I become? Where did my life go wrong?

Not sure if this is a joke or not. If not, sounds like you have some deep issues, maybe with your own bro. Anyway, if you’re so terrible at taking standardized tests, then consider yourself lucky that you got into med school and a residency at all.

 

[caveat87]

You can’t get an A-line in 5 seconds? Doesn’t sound like you deserve to be swinging in the big leagues

 

[chessknt]

I don’t understand what motivates trolls to post **** like this which is not funny insightful or witty. The whole world sucks right now at least post something amusing to troll not this pedestrian crap. The girlfriend thing was marginally better but still pretty bad. 1.23/10 stars

 

[narcusprince]

Please do not feed the troll…

 

[PainDrain]

I realize no further training or job can fix this sentiment. I’ll never make 900k in anesthesia, and it’s too late for chronic interventional pain hopes. I should have had realistic expectations. I was so focused on training all these years that I forgot or hid all these feelings. Job offers re surfaced them.

In the event this isn’t trolling. Perhaps the reason you didn’t get a neurosurgery spot is because you have a personality issue. Maybe it is the fact you come off like a glorious D bag. 🤔

Just an FYI but there are some on here who probably make close to your brother’s salary.

 

[gasresident1]

I’m lost at how anyone would think this is a troll post. If you were making in the 300s and you brother and sister in law were making in the 900s, would you feel good about yourself?

 

[Test Boy]

Please do not feed t

I don’t understand what motivates trolls to post **** like this which is not funny insightful or witty. The whole world sucks right now at least post something amusing to troll not this pedestrian crap. The girlfriend thing was marginally better but still pretty bad. 1.23/10 stars

I think he’s not trying to be funny and has some serious issues. Yes, there are people like that in the world.

 

[GassYous]

I'm just surprised the florida amcs are paying 480

 

[chessknt]

I think he’s not trying to be funny and has some serious issues. Yes, there are people like that in the world.

You can’t get that far in medicine to have absolutely no perspective. He is gonna dump his gf because she only makes 1.4x the median wage and doesn’t meet his income requirements suddenly? Get real.

 

[Test Boy]

You can’t get that far in medicine to have absolutely no perspective. He is gonna dump his gf because she only makes 1.4x the median wage and doesn’t meet his income requirements suddenly? Get real.

Sadly, there are people that are that materialistic.

 

[deleted1111114]

Seriously guys. If your brother was in the 1% and you were in the 2%, how could you live with yourself?

 

[abolt18]

I’m lost at how anyone would think this is a troll post. If you were making in the 300s and you brother and sister in law were making in the 900s, would you feel good about yourself?

Lol I would be pumped for my brother and maybe make him pay for dinner once in a while .

Also it sounds like your proverbial brother should be making well into the $1M+ range with all the extra stuff you listed on top of his base salary of 900K.

 

[Ezekiel2517]

I will never have the 4 million dollar house, the fancy vacations, or anything my brother and his wife (also neurosurgery) will have. My only hope for happiness may have been pain but my ITE scores sucked so I never tried. I will be a poor, noctor my whole life working at the whim of orthos and neurosurgeons making 2-3x as much as I do.

There's a simple solution. Steal your brother's wife. 2 birds, 1 stone.

 

[dannyboy1]

In the event this isn’t trolling. Perhaps the reason you didn’t get a neurosurgery spot is because you have a personality issue. Maybe it is the fact you come off like a glorious D bag. 🤔

Just an FYI but there are some on here who probably make close to your brother’s salary.

Hmm. Most neurosurgeons seem to have some sort of personality issue. Shouldn’t hurt him. Also, at least when I graduated, neurosurgery was not that competitive. Most students were put off by the notoriously long hours (even for a surgical residency) and length of training. Was kind of a self selected group. Maybe things have changed…..

 

[Mman]

Hmm. Most neurosurgeons seem to have some sort of personality issue. Shouldn’t hurt him. Also, at least when I graduated, neurosurgery was not that competitive. Most students were put off by the notoriously long hours (even for a surgical residency) and length of training. Was kind of a self selected group. Maybe things have changed…..

when I was a medical student, if you had a pulse you got into neurosurgery. There were 2 deadbeat general surgery residents at a community hospital I rotated at that were both transferring into neurosurgery programs that were desperate for residents (one to Columbia and the other I can't recall).

 

[caligas]

I’ll bet my pathetic $350k salary that this is definitely a troll

 

[sevoflurane]

I’m lost at how anyone would think this is a troll post. If you were making in the 300s and you brother and sister in law were making in the 900s, would you feel good about yourself?

Anesthesia >>> neurosurgery.

I currently make more in my other investments than i do in anesthesia, so there is also that.

 

[jwk]

I’m lost at how anyone would think this is a troll post. If you were making in the 300s and you brother and sister in law were making in the 900s, would you feel good about yourself?

Absolutely f***ing YESSSSSS!!!!!

My brother is an attorney. Totally Type A personality. Makes several times what I do. Works constantly. Rarely takes time off for himself. He's miserable. I'm happy.

You need to stop worrying about what others (in your family or otherwise) make, and stop making that your ruler for rating your success in life.

Oh - and grow up and grow a pair.

 

[staple]

“Valedictorian“

”In training exam scores sucked”

 

[MirrorTodd]

“Valedictorian“

”In training exam scores sucked”

Also knows **** all about "renal toxicity"

 

[D P356]

“Valedictorian“

”In training exam scores sucked”

Rhodes Scholar. Which college at Oxford?

I can understand not being good at tests. However, this seems seems trollish.