Marriage and Name Changing

[Richspiders07]

To all the married/soon to be married women out there:

What are/were your thoughts on changing your name? I've always envisioned myself as Dr. MyLastName, and am trying to decide what I should do when I get married fourth year. Do people keep their last name for professional purposes [like actresses ] ? hyphenate? take their spouses name?

My other concern is that my fiance's last name is VERY common [ie: Smith]. I know I wouldn't have to deal with name confusion in the hospital with my current last name, etc.

Thoughts?!?

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[GonnaHappen]

What are your fiance's thoughts on this?

Personally, it wouldn't bother me. (I'm a guy)

 

[CanHasNaps]

I kept my maiden name. My husband had said, and I agree, that my first name + his last name = total awkwardness (just how it sounds, not in meaning.) Not sure that his mom is totally cool with it, but other than that there hasn't been any issue other than having to explain to people that my husband is not Mr. CanHasNaps. I really don't know what we are going to do about naming the children - if we ever have any.

 

[WellWornLad]

Hell, I'm a guy and I'm thinking about taking my future wife's name. I'm getting kinda sick of mine.

Or make something up that both of you take, like Mr. and Mrs. Meloveyoulots.

 

[Mr hawkings]

To all the married/soon to be married women out there:

What are/were your thoughts on changing your name? I've always envisioned myself as Dr. MyLastName, and am trying to decide what I should do when I get married fourth year. Do people keep their last name for professional purposes [like actresses ] ? hyphenate? take their spouses name?

My other concern is that my fiance's last name is VERY common [ie: Smith]. I know I wouldn't have to deal with name confusion in the hospital with my current last name, etc.

Thoughts?!?

My Wife added my name after graduation to hers but without the hyphen and it does cause confusion. Half the staff calls her dr <maiden name+my name > and other half thinks her maiden name is her middle name and calls her dr <my name.
For some reason, she wanted to keep her name intact without hyphens.

 

[alwaysaangel]

I think its really a decision you have to make with your fiance. Some guys prefer the woman they're going to marry to take their name, some don't care.

I've never been a fan of the hyphen thing. What do your daughters do? Because Mrs. Momsname-dadsname-married name. Its just awkward and I've always thought it looked silly.

I know lots of people who keep their own names, but this can cause confusion for kids etc. Not that big of a deal but my mom didn't change her name for a long time when I was young, just hadn't bothered going to the courts to do it. And I had problems with teachers when my last name was X and the signed document was from Mrs. Y. But since its more common now that may be a lesser issue.

Personally I like the traditional family concept: taking last name, stay at home mom and all. So I'll be taking my husbands last name. I think its just simpler and its just a name, I love my family but I just don't get the whole "pride in name thing."

 

[unsung]

To all the married/soon to be married women out there:

What are/were your thoughts on changing your name? I've always envisioned myself as Dr. MyLastName, and am trying to decide what I should do when I get married fourth year. Do people keep their last name for professional purposes [like actresses ] ? hyphenate? take their spouses name?

My other concern is that my fiance's last name is VERY common [ie: Smith]. I know I wouldn't have to deal with name confusion in the hospital with my current last name, etc.

Thoughts?!?

Never considered changing my last name. Actually women of my cultural heritage typically do not change their last name upon marriage. But, even if that weren't the cultural norm, I think I would still keep my last name. I knew a duo doctor married couple growing up. The woman kept her maiden name post-marriage. I liked that.

Re: the "confidence in name" thing, if a name is really just a name (i.e. doesn't matter one way or the other), wouldn't it make just as much sense for the man to change his name and take the woman's name post-marriage as vice versa? Some women in favor of the "tradition" of taking the man's name always allude to the notion that having one name for the family is preferable... if that is really the primary reason for name change, then the man should be just as willing to change his name as the woman upon marriage. If he's not (as I suspect many men are not), then clearly a name is not just a name... there's definitely a form of pride or "confidence in name" thing going on here, admit it or not.

The real Q for me would be what to name the kids. I don't really like the hyphen thing, but what would be the alternative? Actually in some cultures, girls take their names after their moms. One thing I've pondered is having the girls take my name, and boys take the dad's. I'm not really hung up on the family having "one" name. In my culture, typically the women keep their names anyway post-marriage, so there isn't that tradition of having one name per family anyway...

 

[Isoprop]

I always think of this comic strip whenever I hear about name changes.
http://www.pvponline.com/2008/05/01/always/

 

[thechad]

what last name would your kids have?

 

[silverlining1]

I love my unique last name, but I think I'm getting ready to part with it... it has >12 characters and the pronunciation is always butchered. I'll miss how distinctive it is, but I think my patients and co-workers will appreciate a name that's easier to say.

Another upside is that my boyfriend's last name starts with the same letter as mine, and my signature is already illegible anyways, so I won't even have to change my signature... haha.

 

[MrBurns10]

I'm getting married soon and I'm keeping my last name. I love my last name and it's a big part of my identity (insofar as it representats my culture). If we have kids, they'll have my husband's last name.

A friend of mine is an MS4 and is getting married soon. She doesn't want to change her name while her husband-to-be does. It's been a sticky issue for them, but in the end the woman should do whatever she wants to do.

 

[Perrotfish]

What about: last name goes to middle, middle name goes away.

 

[little pebble]

Getting married soon as well, and I'm keeping my name. I just sent back my first RSVP of many for Mr. Hislast and Ms. Pebble (until it's Dr. Pebble!). Honestly, it all comes down to what you want and what he wants. My fiance doesn't care about the name thing -- he told his mother that we were going to flip a coin for the kids' last names (totally kidding). I would much rather marry a man who is cool with you having your name either way. In the words of my fiance, "If changing your name doesn't change you, then keeping it shouldn't either."

Changing your name is fine (and I say this as a rabid feminist) as long as it's your choice and it's not forced on you by outside pressures.

For last goes to middle, middle goes away -- fairly common in the South, but I wouldn't do it. My middle name is my mother's middle name (it's a family name) and I wouldn't want to toss it.

As a final note -- I'm pretty sure the name on your degree is non-negotiable after you get it, so if you keep your name, and want to change it later, your degree will still be for Dr. Mylast.

 

[SoCuteMD]

Getting married soon as well, and I'm keeping my name. I just sent back my first RSVP of many for Mr. Hislast and Ms. Pebble (until it's Dr. Pebble!). Honestly, it all comes down to what you want and what he wants. My fiance doesn't care about the name thing -- he told his mother that we were going to flip a coin for the kids' last names (totally kidding). I would much rather marry a man who is cool with you having your name either way. In the words of my fiance, "If changing your name doesn't change you, then keeping it shouldn't either."

Changing your name is fine (and I say this as a rabid feminist) as long as it's your choice and it's not forced on you by outside pressures.

For last goes to middle, middle goes away -- fairly common in the South, but I wouldn't do it. My middle name is my mother's middle name (it's a family name) and I wouldn't want to toss it.

As a final note -- I'm pretty sure the name on your degree is non-negotiable after you get it, so if you keep your name, and want to change it later, your degree will still be for Dr. Mylast.

At my school you can have them make you a new diploma when they do the ones for graduation that year.

 

[Textuality]

I'm getting married this summer, and not changing my name.
The discussion with the fiance went something like this:
Him: "So will you be changing your name?"
Me: "Nope"
Him "Why not?"
Me: "Because it's my name"
Him: "Oh, ok".

All the other women who've married his brothers have converted to Catholicism and changed names, whereas I am still atheist and keeping my name, heh. His parents are ok with it. Also, name changing seems like such a huge hassle, and I'm lazy.

I'm planning to name the kids with his last name as of now, that may or may not change in the future, we'll see. My mom never changed her name, it never bothered me .

Side note: my dad would just be really hurt if I changed my name. He's been looking forward to a Dr. "X" in his family forever, lol. Generally speaking though, I think Chinese culture places a lot more weight on your last name as a sign of pride in your family, so it's kind of a cultural thing.

 

[Evergrey]

I'm not changing my last name for anyone, ever. <10 people have my last name in the world, and they've all my relatives. Gotta keep it alive!!

 

[FrickenhugeMD]

I love my unique last name, but I think I'm getting ready to part with it... it has >12 characters and the pronunciation is always butchered. I'll miss how distinctive it is, but I think my patients and co-workers will appreciate a name that's easier to say.

Another upside is that my boyfriend's last name starts with the same letter as mine, and my signature is already illegible anyways, so I won't even have to change my signature... haha.

You have a Polish last name, don't you?

 

[confuse]

Sorry I'm a guy so I don't have anything to add. I'm just curious about the ladies who kept their last name: would you refer to yourself as Mrs. YourLastName once you get married or still Ms. YourLastName?

 

[curlygirlie106]

I got married the summer between my MSI and MSII years (I'm finishing up MSII now). I've kept my name, but with a twist. I am using my maiden name professionally but my husband's name socially. There were a couple of reasons behind this. Firstly, I'd just always envisioned myself as being Dr. Curlygirlie106. Secondly, I like the idea of being the "next" Dr. Curlygirlie106 since my dad is Dr. Curlygirlie106. Thirdly, I wanted to create some separation between work and home life. How do I pull this off? Legally, I didn't change my name. SS#, driver's license, insurance, school paperwork, everything, it's stayed them same. On the other hand, I don't correct people if they address say, an invitation to me as Mrs. Hubby, and I actually encourage them to. When we have kids, they'll be given my husband's name. I'm hoping to model my cousin, who's been practicing for years and lives by a "white coat rule." When she's in Doctor Mode she's Dr. Cousin, but when she's helping out with the kids' field trip she's Mrs. Hubby or when she sends out Christmas cards, they're from Mr. and Mrs. Hubby. This might sound confusing, but people have actually taken to it quite readily. Friends and family and everything unofficial? Married name. Patients and colleagues and all the official paperwork? Maiden name. While I'm not a doctor yet, I've had a year of being Student Dr. Curlygirlie 106 at school and Mrs. Hubby with the Junior League and so far, I'm loving it!

 

[MrBurns10]

I'm not changing my last name for anyone, ever. <10 people have my last name in the world, and they've all my relatives. Gotta keep it alive!!

Same here! Though it's more than 10, since I have a big family (25 first cousins alone). But we can trace the origins of my last name to one person, so everyone that has it is in some way related to me. He's like my family's Adam.

 

[MsKrispyKreme]

Personally I like the traditional family concept: taking last name, stay at home mom and all. So I'll be taking my husbands last name.

Will you also be a stay-at-home mom after residency?

Actually in some cultures, girls take their names after their moms. One thing I've pondered is having the girls take my name, and boys take the dad's.

I like.

 

[little pebble]

Sorry I'm a guy so I don't have anything to add. I'm just curious about the ladies who kept their last name: would you refer to yourself as Mrs. YourLastName once you get married or still Ms. YourLastName?

Mrs. generally refers to a married woman with the hubby's last name. There's a loooong thread on indiebride about it. So, I'll be Ms. Pebble until 2012, when I'll become Dr. Pebble. When in doubt, if she kept her name, she's Ms. If she took his name and is now divorced, she's Mrs. unless she changes back to her maiden name, which then makes her a Ms. all over again.

Personally, I use Ms. for everyone, especially if I don't know them well.

 

[Perrotfish]

Originally Posted by unsung
Actually in some cultures, girls take their names after their moms. One thing I've pondered is having the girls take my name, and boys take the dad's.

If I was choosing a system I'd have maternal and paternal last name. The husband takes the wife's maternal name and the wife takes the husbands paternal name. This new conglomerate name is what the kids get. Then when they get married the boys keep the paternal name from the father and the girls keep the maternal from the mother.

BTW, does anyone else think a husband and wife with different last names just seems sorta dumb? I don't care how you decide what your last name is going to be (coin flip, jam the two names together, hyphens, come up with a brand new name, whatever) but come up with something. Just my opinion.

 

[alwaysaangel]

Will you also be a stay-at-home mom after residency?

In that sentence I was using it more for the concept of stay at home mom. But yes if I thought I could afford it I would happily stay at home when my kids were small and go back to work when they were older. It would free me up to do SOO many things I want to do. Spending time with my kids, helping at school, being soccer mom, supporting my husband, philanthropic and volunteer work, etc. I want to be a doctor, but thats always going to be second to family for me.

But with debt and depending on what my husband does its not necessarily realistic. Which is one of the many reasons I'm considering EM. The hours are tough and stressful but minimal and usually at night. So you can really be home for your family A LOT. I spoke to one woman who is the residency director at my school and she said that most of her neighbors think she's a stay at home mom because she's there so much and takes her kid to everything.

 

[DrJosephKim]

I have a very common last name and my wife took it (so now we have 2 Dr. Kim's in the house). There are definitely drawbacks to taking a common name. Hyphenate?

 

[Jolie South]

I've been married for 3 years, and I initially wanted to change my name. For a multitude of reasons, I didn't end up changing it. I think a lot of women get all warm and fuzzy about the idea of taking their husband's name, but in reality it makes no difference. We're still married. We have the same relationship we would have had if I had changed my name.

I thought about hyphenating for a while, but doing any name change at all is a pain in the ass so I ultimately decided against it.

At this point, it doesn't matter any more.

 

[Richspiders07]

I've kept my name, but with a twist. I am using my maiden name professionally but my husband's name socially. There were a couple of reasons behind this. Firstly, I'd just always envisioned myself as being Dr. Curlygirlie106. Secondly, I like the idea of being the "next" Dr. Curlygirlie106 since my dad is Dr. Curlygirlie106. Thirdly, I wanted to create some separation between work and home life.

I'm hoping to model my cousin, who's been practicing for years and lives by a "white coat rule." When she's in Doctor Mode she's Dr. Cousin, but when she's helping out with the kids' field trip she's Mrs. Hubby or when she sends out Christmas cards, they're from Mr. and Mrs. Hubby.

I kind of like this idea... wonder if he'd go for it?

As for the kids questions... I'm trying to focus on one thing at a time!

 

[nope80]

I didn't change mine and my husband doesn't care. I always felt like I was in the minority for not doing it. But I always felt like since I grew up with that name it was too ingrained in my identity to just snap my fingers one day and change. Also, our names weren't conducing to hyphenating.

 

[Jolie South]

BTW, does anyone else think a husband and wife with different last names just seems sorta dumb? I don't care how you decide what your last name is going to be (coin flip, jam the two names together, hyphens, come up with a brand new name, whatever) but come up with something. Just my opinion.

I don't see what difference it makes.

While I love my husband and support everything that he does, I personally don't understand why we need to meld everything into one identity. I'm still my own person with my own interests and career. Obviously, the choices that I make involve him, but I didn't give up everything that I was to get married.

Why should we care if our decision doesn't conform to others' expectations?

 

[confuse]

Thanks little pebble. I was a bit confused but you explained it perfectly.

Personally, I really like curlygirlie's way of doing it, especially the part about separation of professional and private life.

 

[MrBurns10]

I got married the summer between my MSI and MSII years (I'm finishing up MSII now). I've kept my name, but with a twist. I am using my maiden name professionally but my husband's name socially. There were a couple of reasons behind this. Firstly, I'd just always envisioned myself as being Dr. Curlygirlie106. Secondly, I like the idea of being the "next" Dr. Curlygirlie106 since my dad is Dr. Curlygirlie106. Thirdly, I wanted to create some separation between work and home life. How do I pull this off? Legally, I didn't change my name. SS#, driver's license, insurance, school paperwork, everything, it's stayed them same. On the other hand, I don't correct people if they address say, an invitation to me as Mrs. Hubby, and I actually encourage them to. When we have kids, they'll be given my husband's name. I'm hoping to model my cousin, who's been practicing for years and lives by a "white coat rule." When she's in Doctor Mode she's Dr. Cousin, but when she's helping out with the kids' field trip she's Mrs. Hubby or when she sends out Christmas cards, they're from Mr. and Mrs. Hubby. This might sound confusing, but people have actually taken to it quite readily. Friends and family and everything unofficial? Married name. Patients and colleagues and all the official paperwork? Maiden name. While I'm not a doctor yet, I've had a year of being Student Dr. Curlygirlie 106 at school and Mrs. Hubby with the Junior League and so far, I'm loving it!

I was considering doing something similar, at least when it comes to any kids we have (like, in the school directory). I'm glad it's worked out for you so far!

 

[nlax30]

I got married the summer between my MSI and MSII years (I'm finishing up MSII now). I've kept my name, but with a twist. I am using my maiden name professionally but my husband's name socially.

+1 This is pretty much what my wife and I are doing. My wife is in law so she wanted to have your maiden name involved professionally to some degree so she hyphenated and that's her legal (totally fine by me, really whatever she wanted to do was fine). Socially my last name pretty much gets used, like if someone sends us a wedding invitation or something, and the kids will just have my last name.

As long as both people in the relationship are involved in the decision and agree with it then you could make anything work.

 

[MsKrispyKreme]

In that sentence I was using it more for the concept of stay at home mom. But yes if I thought I could afford it I would happily stay at home when my kids were small and go back to work when they were older. It would free me up to do SOO many things I want to do. Spending time with my kids, helping at school, being soccer mom, supporting my husband, philanthropic and volunteer work, etc. I want to be a doctor, but thats always going to be second to family for me.

But with debt and depending on what my husband does its not necessarily realistic. Which is one of the many reasons I'm considering EM. The hours are tough and stressful but minimal and usually at night. So you can really be home for your family A LOT. I spoke to one woman who is the residency director at my school and she said that most of her neighbors think she's a stay at home mom because she's there so much and takes her kid to everything.

Awesome.

I have zero desire to be a stay at home mom, but I'd like to be around my future kids a considerable amount of time from ages 0 to 5. I've been thinking of EM too.

 

[lukgirl]

I also got to keep my initials and my illegible signature.

 

[lukgirl]

I got married a few months before I graduated from my MPH program and a year and a half before I start med school, and I decided to change my last name. My maiden name was pretty common (not as common as Smith), but certainly nothing exciting. I always found it kind of...bland, for lack of a better word.

With my new last name, my husband and I are the only two people on earth with that last name (as far as we know). (In his culture, last names are not passed on from father to children, but rather, each child is given their own last name). We have decided that we will break with that tradition and pass this last name down to our children.

Anyways, it's a really special last name and unique. Now I know I'm the only [firstname] [lastname] in the world, and that makes me feel special. And I love the feeling of being Mr. and Mrs. lastname. If my husband's last name were Smith (no offense to all the Smith's out there), I may not have embraced it so much.

The good thing is that even though it's unique, it's not really hard to pronounce, so my patients and colleagues shouldn't have much problem there.

Another factor influencing my decision is that my mom kept her maiden name, and us kids got our dad's last name, and it was a constant source of confusion. No one believed she was my mom because our last names didn't match. I didn't want my kids to go through the same thing.

(I think one reason a lot of women in academics keep their maiden names is because they may have already had research/scholarly articles published.)

 

[rhiannon777]

What about: last name goes to middle, middle name goes away.

That's what I plan on doing once I get married in a couple months. I can use the full First Maiden Last professionally (I plan to practice in my hometown, and I want people to be aware it's me that they're coming to see), but I can still be Mrs. Hislastname.

 

[45408]

What about: last name goes to middle, middle name goes away.

That's what my sister-in-law did. Unless you hyphenate, multiple last names are going to get messy.

 

[45408]

double post. stupid SDN was lagging.

 

[MilkmanAl]

I know the circumstances are totally different, but I do something kinda similar to what curlygirlie suggests. I go by my middle name, so everyone, including you guys, knows me as such. However, I sign all my paperwork an d conduct all professional business using my first name to save confusion. It works out just fine.

 

[Dr. McDreamy]

I have 2 med school friends who changed their names when they got married in med school. They were both girly-girl types that always envisioned their "fairy tale" weddings and want to have babies as soon as possible.

My other friends who have gotten married recently (1 med student, 1 PhD student and another one with a masters) all kept their last names. They just weren't ever into the whole "traditional" marriage thing.

I personally have always thought that changing your name when you get married reeks of paternalism. (sorry guys....) I've just never been comfortable with it. My name is who I am, I don't change my identity just because I get married. Now the question about what do you name your kids...I have a friend with a very long hyphenated name. She seems to get a long ok with it but it seems like a pain to me. Why not give your kids the mother's name as a middle name and the father's name as a last name? Then the kids have a name from both parents, no confusion!

 

[Goran]

That's what I plan on doing once I get married in a couple months. I can use the full First Maiden Last professionally (I plan to practice in my hometown, and I want people to be aware it's me that they're coming to see), but I can still be Mrs. Hislastname.

That sounds like the ideal way of changing your name. Would your license/prescription pads/legal documents use Dr. Maiden HisLast, or simply Dr. HisLast? Someone told me that the only way to have your maiden name included legally is if you hyphenate. I haven't been able to find info to confirm that. Anyone know?

 

[Mr hawkings]

That sounds like the ideal way of changing your name. Would your license/prescription pads/legal documents use Dr. Maiden HisLast, or simply Dr. HisLast? Someone told me that the only way to have your maiden name included legally is if you hyphenate. I haven't been able to find info to confirm that. Anyone know?

Thats not true. my wife has her maiden name included and its not hyphenated.

 

[Goran]

Is your wife a physician? If so, do patients and colleagues use both last names, as in Dr. Maiden YourLast? Thanks.

As an addendum, could she legally be referred to as Dr. Maiden? Depending on the two last names involved, the full name could be a mouthful for patients.

 

[Mr hawkings]

Is your wife a physician? If so, do patients and colleagues use both last names, as in Dr. Maiden YourLast? Thanks.

As an addendum, could she legally be referred to as Dr. Maiden? Depending on the two last names involved, the full name could be a mouthful for patients.

Yes she is a physician and yes, when shed paged in the hospital, it says, dr maidenname myname.
And it IS a mouthful. The patients almost alway end up calling her Dr myname because they think her maiden name is a middle name.

 

[silverlining1]

You have a Polish last name, don't you?

Nope - you can check my MDapps for a general idea of my ethnicity. =p

I also got to keep my initials and my illegible signature.

Nice.

The good thing is that even though it's unique, it's not really hard to pronounce, so my patients and colleagues shouldn't have much problem there.

Ah, lucky you. While the only people in the world with my last name are closely related to me, my last name is ALWAYS butchered. Even my boyfriend says it slightly incorrectly.

 

[Cirrus83]

As a kid I was always worried about maybe people being confused since my mom had a different last name, but it was never, ever, an issue. And heck, one of my cousins even ended up with my grandmother's last name on her mother's side (since there were no male descendants to carry on the name).

So I don't ever think people should ever feel any pressure about changing their name. Even if you keep your own last name you can still be Mrs. yourhusbandslastname, but Dr. yourownlastname when it's appropriate...not like people check IDs lol.

Whatever you decide though make sure you decide on a permanent name before you get your medical degree...it's a nightmare to change afterwards.

 

[Ashers]

When I get married, I plan on changing my name. I like my last name and all, but I just always planned on changing; my full name, as it is, flows. However, if/when I get married, I'll already have my MD.

My sister did not change her name when she got married (she's also in med school).

Just as an example, we've got good family friends in Sweden. I was talking to my friend, and she said that she didn't want to change her name because it was so rare, so her husband changed his name, and all the kids have her name. Apparently, her husband had a common Swedish name that she didn't want to take.

 

[Allerian1004]

I'll be getting married in December and plan on changing my name. I do have one friend who didn't change her last name and her husband is a bit bitter about it. I am more traditional and always planned on changing it.

 

[durty]

my mom kept her maiden name and gave me two middle names, the second of which is her maiden name so it's like a hyphenated name but my true last name is my dad's last name. So I am durty familyName maidenName dadsName; I think the 4 names sounds cool and I'm very happy with it.
-durty

 

[NonTradMed]

Re: the "confidence in name" thing, if a name is really just a name (i.e. doesn't matter one way or the other), wouldn't it make just as much sense for the man to change his name and take the woman's name post-marriage as vice versa? Some women in favor of the "tradition" of taking the man's name always allude to the notion that having one name for the family is preferable... if that is really the primary reason for name change, then the man should be just as willing to change his name as the woman upon marriage. If he's not (as I suspect many men are not), then clearly a name is not just a name... there's definitely a form of pride or "confidence in name" thing going on here, admit it or not.

I completely agree. I think its interesting that many who say it shouldn't be a big deal for girls to change their last names because "a name is just a name" yet we rarely hear the same advice to a guy. I guess the family name is not suppose to be a big deal if you're a girl.

BTW, does anyone else think a husband and wife with different last names just seems sorta dumb? I don't care how you decide what your last name is going to be (coin flip, jam the two names together, hyphens, come up with a brand new name, whatever) but come up with something. Just my opinion.

It's very common in China. My grandmas all kept their last names upon marriage (they are 80 and 86). It's just uncommon in the US. Cultural differences and all.


Personally, I will not change my last name upon marriage. I've always fancied myself Dr. Nontradmed. To change it do Dr. HusbandLastName makes me feel like it's not my degree anymore. Yes, I'm not one of those girls who dreamt of the perfect wedding, scribbling "Mrs. HusbandLastName" on my notes every day.

Besides, my mother never changed her last name, even after all these years living in the US. She's never had an issue. No one's ever questioned her custody of me, or gave an uprised eyebrow when they saw different last names in my family.