Marriage Timeline

[Thegirlfromfenweh]

Hi guys!

I'll be entering medical school this year and I just recently proposed to my girlfriend. Now that it's official it all seems so unreal as to how we're going to have the money and time for the wedding. Her plan is to attend an online program to receive her Master's in Library Science and will ultimately work as a Librarian.

She thinks that if we wait two or three years she will have her degree and hopefully a job to help pay for the wedding. I'm on the fence, because we have a decent amount of money now to have a nice wedding. But we just don't know for sure where we will be in that original amount of time.

Also the stress of medical school will, with no doubt, challenge our relationship. Should we plan it and get it over with early before the added stress of med. school?

Any input from anyone with or without experience in this type of scenario is very very appreciated! Thanks in advance, everyone!

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[Petypet]

At least plan and get that part over with. That said most venues don't let you plan too far out, 2 years max and maybe even 1 year out. If I were in your shoes I would plan for MS1 summer, or MS2 summer just after boards. That said, you won't really know your schools schedule for post boards for maybe another year. We planned our wedding at the beginning of MS1 for MS1-MS2 summer, and it worked out well, but I wish I had done the planning prior to even that.

We were lucky as our parents helped contribute to the funds, but the planning was stressful, and I normally don't get too stressed. I was at school 2 hours away from our wedding venue, and we had to drive back for tastings, meetings, etc etc etc. I can't imagine trying to plan a wedding, mid board studying. I also learned a new appreciation for disliking certain in-laws, and that would only add more stress.

 

[metalgirl14]

I agree with the above poster that wedding planning is stressful (especially for the woman). It might be good to start the basic planning, but keep in mind, weddings often take 9+ months to fully plan (most venues, DJs, etc get booked up pretty early). If you will be starting medical school in the fall, the wedding likely won't occur before you start. I started planning my wedding almost 11 months in advance and just barely made it 1 week before moving into my school apartment.

Also, weddings are insanely expensive. If you want a "traditional wedding," you're probably going to spend at least 10k on it. Most places require the final payments a few weeks before the wedding (or even the night of), so you would you really want to have some form of income at that time as well. If you have the money now, I would honestly just put that aside for whenever the wedding actually occurs.

In terms of timing, I agree with the above poster-avoid planning a post-Step 1 wedding. The last few weeks of planning are crazy and you won't have time to adequately study. If you can afford it, MS1 summer would be a good idea. You'd probably want to start officially planning everything this summer if that were the case.

 

[koan]

Whatever you do, don't do what I did and get married during the summer between M1/M2, only to get divorced a few weeks before Step 1. Don't do that.

 

[AlmostAnMD]

I'm in the same boat. It's a crappy position. Putting off wedding until I've got free time in 4th year to dick with it.