Married nontrads, what about your partners job?

[purplepuppy391]

For those of you who are married, what did you end up doing about your partners job once you got into med school or what is your plan? Did you only apply to schools around your current area?

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[Rapsidy]

I’m not married but I have had a long term partner. For me, I applied to schools in the area and the surrounding states. Being close to my family and partner was important to me and thankfully it worked out where I didn’t have to move.

That’s the ideal if you can make it work. You and your partner will have to discuss though what is best for both of you. If your partner has a job that can easily move then you have more flexibility. If they can’t, are you willing to limit yourself to one geographical region for your dream? Are you willing to do long distance for a couple of years? If kids are involved it becomes even more complicated.

Regardless of what you decide, make sure it’s a decision that you make together with your partner and discuss what both of you are okay with as far as sacrifice goes. You may be okay to do long distance, but your partner may not be, but may not want to say that in order to not interfere with your dreams. That’s a huge no no and will lead to big problems down the road if you feel like you have to chose between medicine and your partner, so just make sure all conversations are completely honest and upfront in the beginning of this journey.

 

[MotherofDragonflies]

We're not married but have been together for over 8 years. I am away alone at med school. He is back home with my cat. We facetime three nights per week, write letters and record messages to each other. And try to see each other as often as we can. Third year will be hard I bet, since I think it will be more difficult to maintain this set up. But we shall see.

It is definitely hard on each of us. I miss him terribly and often feel guilty for leaving. He has always been amazing and supportive of my decision. But, I know it's hard on him too. My hope is to be back there for residency. So, no matter what I choose, location will be my number 1 ranking factor.

Edit: Just wanted to add that I am on the west coast. He is close to the east coast. So, getting back/forth isn't always easy. But, I'll be back there in only a few days!

 

[jj22901]

Vet Assistant

 

[AvsPearTree]

My wife works in a slightly niche field and could only work in certain cities. She was fine with us moving and finding a new job if her firm didn't have an office there, but the trade off was I had to be very selective with my school list and we choose what schools I could apply to together. Unfortunately I was unable to get in to one of our local schools, but I was able to get in to our second choice that will let her stay in her firm.

This all needs to be a choice you and your spouse make together, you need to find what you both can compromise on and what you're both willing to do/not do or else that problem will fester and place your relationship at risk and possibly your future career as a physician.

 

[deleted1079620]

I was blessed that my SO was ready for a career/job change when I applied, so we just looked for areas with lots of hiring happening & good schools. He found a job he really loves that’s flexible for our family.

Now I’m a 3rd year looking at residency apps coming in the next six months, and we’re right back where we started, except now he really loves his job and I don’t want him to have to give it up, so I’m either committing to a LDR for a few years, or I’m limited geographically for residency.

But that’s ok, and that’s just life. We will sit down together and look at the programs and decide which ones to apply to, and adjust accordingly after the match.

 

[bomba]

I'm fortunate to have a spouse working in a field with lots of remote opportunities.

 

[betterweather]

For those of you who are married, what did you end up doing about your partners job once you got into med school or what is your plan? Did you only apply to schools around your current area?

I only applied local (early decision). For residency, we'll reassess. There is a chance that by then he'll A) have a different job in politics that would mean he absolutely could not move or B) be so burnt out with local politics that he'll be eager to have a reason to leave this town.