Ok...
Im a chump.
Here is the story:
In 2000, I was accepted into osteopathic medical school. I had taken the MCAT a year ago without having taken most of the typical prerequisites, and scored a 21. I remember thinking to myself, "what am I doing taking this test, i have never seen most of the material here!" I have an aunt and two uncles who are MD doctors, but the DO title did not (and mostly still does not) matter to me.
The thing that kept playing on my mind was I had just gotten a C in organic chemistry, and online no less. I invested a total of approximately 14 hours into the entire class, that is, 2 hours enrolling and getting ready for the class, and 12 hours studying and taking tests. The entire 12 hours was an all night, no sleep marathon, on a cold Monday in December. I had no organic chemistry knowledge previously, but the design of the class, and fast research allowed me to pass an entire semester of organic chemistry in one night. Having taken 3 tests and a final, I was finished by 6am that next morning, and ready to go to my electrical engineering job in two hours.
This was really only the beginning to an amazingly easy ride into the osteopathic world of medicine. I found that without trying, I could slip in under their radar, and additionally get a full ride in achieving something that I thought I had wanted to do since I was five. I thought it was all a part of the life of that allowed me to be accepted into the high IQ society, Mensa, where if you could think pretty fast then people thought you were something special even if you were a lazy bum doing nothing to better society, much like myself.
So the school year started as I had expected, lectures all the time, and a test in a few weeks. Well as was my typical routine, I would not study. In fact I would wait until the night before the exam to do any studying at all. I manage to pass my tests with a typical score of 75-80%, getting near perfect scores in the subject of pathology that was considered to be so hard for everyone, so I was not too worried about trying any harder. It was bothering me somewhat, that I am in this to handle the life or death health choices for many people, and I was taking this all so lightly. However, my first final exam I did not even bother to study for and I failed. It was a complete surprise to me as were the next few months where this exact process repeated.
I left feeling surprised and hurt, partly feeling mad at the school, but really I knew it was my own fault. In some way, I was happy to leave, there were a number of small things that happened that encouraged me to not try, and I wasn't learning like I should. I liked the people, the material was very interesting, I got along with everyone very well. I was even the President two clubs.
In the following weeks I realized I had to wake up and take notice of what had occurred, or even if I never fulfill my dream, I will go through life not doing my best, not enjoying life.
So, I set up a plan, in painful consideration of my faults but also my strengths, with goals I decided I must achieve if I were to even consider going back to school. First, I decided I needed to find my driving force in pursuing this pathway. This is the reason why I wanted to do this at all, I knew I had felt it a number of times, but this had to be concrete to me, and make me want to try hard, and do very, very well. Second was to take a complete set of prerequisites this time, and do not slouch on this as my previous school actually allowed, by getting straight A's in all new courses. Medical school requires extreme dedication and if I could not get A's in these simple classes then how could I reasonably expect to do well in life or death situations that require fast and most importantly accurate thinking? Third was to study for and retake the MCAT. I decided I must far surpass the average for acceptance to satisfy my personal resolve. Only meeting averages or just passing is how I used to operate, and this is how I run my life no longer.
Now, 4 years after I started, I have achieved a straight A record on my new classes, and a 33 on the MCAT. I became certified as a paramedic and have logged several thousand hours rushing to literally save people's lives. This was most important to me, because I feel I have gained a truly invaluable experience in this time as a paramedic, giving me the spirit and motivation I had only previously seen on occasion. In addition, I continued my work as an Electrical Engineer and received my PE license, however, this only managed to further my realization that work as an engineer is not what I have enjoyed, it is not what I felt a strong calling to do in life.
My past experiences have been that of someone who had life very easy and was never pushed. I felt like getting into osteopathic medical school was something that was simply handed to me, and I never felt encouraged to try. I have been handed scholarship after scholarship, opportunity after opportunity, all just simply handed to me, and that part of my life has been nearly meaningless in helping me or helping others in this amazing journey we call life. I have learned a great deal in the past four years, and can honestly assure you, but most importantly know in myself, that I will no longer be lackadaisical in what I do. Life is something you get to play with for only a few fleeting moments, and then it is gone. I have chosen my present path because I know it to be something dear to my heart, and I feel very challenged and motivated from within to pursue this further.
So I guess what I am asking, is this dream even possible after all of this time, am I just kidding myself even now?? Will any MD school let me in its doors with my history??
