Mentor Dilemma (Am I handling it correctly)

[IMG69]

So I've finished my Obs/gyn, i'm not even slightly interested in it but i'm heavily interested in surgery, he asked me what I want to do, I said i'm 100% orthopedics but of course give the disclaimer that i'd love to learn as many surgical skills as possible, he likes me we get along he gets my number and now messages me whenever he has any surgeries - hysterectomies, cesarean, fibroids etc. So I've been going in all the time whenever I have free time and picking up and practicing as much as I can - I even got to solo close a patient once as a 'trial'. So all of this is in my free time now.

I feel like he is trying to groom me for obs/gyn but I really just want to learn all the knots, procedural basics - ligation, cauterization, how to approach a surgery etc. Which he is teaching me but my question is how can I slowly and politely get away from obs/gyn and ask to watch/learn from other surgical specialties without offending him (he's very arrogant and cocky but in a good way and extremely good at what he does, one of the top in the country)

So any tips/stories on how you've managed to for lack of a better word 'escape' a situation like this, I want to learn as much as I can from him and definitely don't want to lose him but I also want to experience and fully commit to orthopedics and watch/learn from any other surgeries I can just to see how they approach things - i'll ask if I can watch the other surgeries going on once he's finished with his schedule.

Just to make it clear, this is all in my free time, I would never want to skip out on what the school has timetabled for me. I just want to cut down my number of hours specifically with him and get a broader range of experience without losing him completely because he truly has been amazing and I've learnt so much.

Advice appreciated.

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[Epilepsy365]

LOL I would fail you on the spot if you tell me you want to ditch me and shadow other subspecialties.

Arrange that with your electives. If you don't want to be here, take that F and tap out.

There's no polite way around this. Learn as much as you can about OB/GYN and enjoy the specialty.

He's not grooming you to be anything. He's being very polite and courteous by showing you everything about his subspecialty. You're not special bc of your X and X on your Step 1.

 

[DarkHorizon]

Your responsibility is your service. Don’t ever ditch your service to go observe cases on another service until work is done. You can then go and observe ortho or whatever. First and foremost, fulfill the responsibilities of your service and be a good medical student. Everything else is secondary. You can strike up a convo with one of the orthos and show interest and see if they’ll mentor you, but only on your own time/down time.

 

[IMG69]

LOL I would fail you on the spot if you tell me you want to ditch me and shadow other subspecialties.

Arrange that with your electives. If you don't want to be here, take that F and tap out.

There's no polite way around this. Learn as much as you can about OB/GYN and enjoy the specialty.

He's not grooming you to be anything. He's being very polite and courteous by showing you everything about his subspecialty. You're not special bc of your X and X on your Step 1.

Sorry I don't think I made it clear, this is all in my spare time, I've completed my obs/gyn required hours for school. I'm extremely grateful for everything he's taught me and I really enjoy working beside him. The main point is how can I transition from him to other surgeons without offending him and without losing him completely. I don't know what this has to do with step 1 or grades, simply put; currently I spend 90% of my free time with him and I would just like to cut it down to maybe 50% or so and spend it with other surgeons, I just don't know how to approach him to tell him without losing him like I mentioned.

 

[Epilepsy365]

Sorry I don't think I made it clear, this is all in my extra time, I've completed my obs/gyn required hours for school. I'm extremely grateful for everything he's taught me and I really enjoy working beside him. The main point is how can I transition from him to other surgeons without offending him and without losing him completely. I don't know what this has to do with step 1 or grades, simply put; currently I spend 90% of my free time with him and I would just like to cut it down to maybe 50% or so and spend it with other surgeons, I just don't know how to approach him to tell him without losing him like I mentioned.

Your free time is your free time then.

Just be honest with him about how you want to explore other specialty options. Thanks him for his effort.

He will not be an a-hole to you.

He might even call up his ortho buddies, and set something up for you on your free time.

 

[IMG69]

Your free time is your free time then.

Just be honest with him about how you want to explore other specialty options. Thanks him for his effort.

He will not be an a-hole to you.

He might even call up his ortho buddies, and set something up for you on your free time.

Yeah I figured i'll just have to be honest in the end. Was just wondering if anyone else had a similar situation and what they did, he has a massive personality which is why i'm a little bit nervous/tenative to tell him but i'll see how it goes. Thank you

 

[Oedipa Maas]

Why don’t you just text him and say “Hey do you know how I could go about getting to shadow/scrub in on some ortho (or gen surg or whatever) cases? I’ve loved my experiences working with you and I hope to be able to find that in X specialty too so that I can become a well rounded applicant. (Feel free to add more ego stroking if necessary) Is there anyone you know in that field who could help me?” That way he’s mentoring you through that and you aren’t saying you’re abandoning him or anything. If he’s unhelpful then seek out those surgeons on your own and start prioritizing their cases. Make sure you do update him if you find someone with a really positive “Hey great news, Dr. Y said he will take me under his wing and let me start scrubbing in on some X cases!” So that way you aren’t ghosting him.

 

[samac]

So be careful here. My school has a weird requirement that if you’re doing things not related to the service you’re assigned and there’s a malpractice suit they won’t cover you.

 

[Tenk]

So be careful here. My school has a weird requirement that if you’re doing things not related to the service you’re assigned and there’s a malpractice suit they won’t cover you.

This doesn’t sound like something that would happen in the US and the OP’s name is IMG. I could be wrong though.

OP, this is weird as hell. Also, if you told all the ortho bros you learned how to tie knots, close, etc from an OB/GYN they would laugh at you. If you wanna do ortho, go follow an orthopedic surgeon. End of story.

 

[IMG69]

This doesn’t sound like something that would happen in the US and the OP’s name is IMG. I could be wrong though.

OP, this is weird as hell. Also, if you told all the ortho bros you learned how to tie knots, close, etc from an OB/GYN they would laugh at you. If you wanna do ortho, go follow an orthopedic surgeon. End of story.

I'm UK, I don't have ortho till next year and I officially start my surgery rotation (gen surg) in 6 weeks (i'm only second year), I don't really see what the harm in learning any skills I can now is regardless of who it's from? Don't see why that's weird as hell? Of course once I get the opportunity to work with an Ortho i'll take it which is the basis of this post; how I can slowly cut down my hours with him safely and respectfully and I've received some good replies on how to do that.

 

[Tenk]

I'm UK, I don't have ortho till next year and I officially start my surgery rotation (gen surg) in 6 weeks (i'm only second year), I don't really see what the harm in learning any skills I can now is regardless of who it's from? Don't see why that's weird as hell? Of course once I get the opportunity to work with an Ortho i'll take it which is the basis of this post, how I can slowly cut down my hours with him safely and respectfully and I've received some good replies on how to do that.

You don’t think it’s weird that you have to in your own words “escape” from scrubbing into surgeries with an attending you aren’t even on service with?

Sorry but that is most definitely strange, weird, and most certainly not normal.

 

[IMG69]

You don’t think it’s weird that you have to in your own words “escape” from scrubbing into surgeries with an attending you aren’t even on service with?

Sorry but that is most definitely strange, weird, and most certainly not normal.

It's not the surgeries it's the relationship.. we've gotten quite close etc and he's in a very powerful position and like i've said in earlier posts he's got a big personality and a big ego, so i'm essentially just scared he'll take it the wrong way and i'm just worried about the worst case scenario where he tells all his other colleagues or whoever not to waste their time with me.

That's literally the gist of this post and it's been answered. If he didn't have the big personality etc it would be a lot easier.

 

[Dr G Oogle]

Just tell him you’re interested in ortho. I get where you’re coming from, he’s in a position of power and you’re not and you’re worried that he will get vindictive if you tell him you want to do some other specialty. So just tell him how you feel. I love working with you but I’m more interested in ortho and I enjoy coming to surgery with you (if true) but want to get more exposure to ortho can you help me?
done.

i sincerely doubt he is so invested in a medical student that he will take it out on you if you want to go into a different specialty. If he is really as highly placed as you say frankly you’re small potatoes if he isn’t than it’s not really a problem is it.