Moving Out?

[Maeloryne]

Hey guys,
I was just wondering if my decision is smart. I want to live at home until med school, since I'll most likely have to move and get an apartment by myself. I'm 19 currently, and will be 22/23 when I leave for med school. Is this an okay age to leave the house?

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[PlaqueBuster]

This doesnt make any sense...soa re you moving out now (at age 19) or not? Can you financially support yourself living on your own? Do you have an issue commuting from home to undergrad now? I lived on my own starting college (age 18)....

 

[baxt1412]

What the hell is this thread? Do whatever you want! Why would you seek the advice of strangers for something like this?

If you want to stay at home, stay at home.
If you don't want to stay at home, don't stay at home.

 

[Ismet]

Most people leave the house when they go to college at the age of 18. I'm all for saving money by living with the parentals if that's what works out and you go to college nearby, but you're an adult. You can live by yourself.

 

[mimelim]

Most people leave the house when they go to college at the age of 18. I'm all for saving money by living with the parentals if that's what works out and you go to college nearby, but you're an adult. You can live by yourself.

Debatable. Certainly most (close to all) people can survive living on their own. Doesn't mean that everyone should, 'just cause'.

 

[Ismet]

Debatable. Certainly most (close to all) people can survive living on their own. Doesn't mean that everyone should, 'just cause'.

I didn't say should. I said can. ???

 

[mimelim]

I didn't say should. I said can. ???

Fair enough .

 

[baxt1412]

I kid you not, there was a girl in my freshman class who asked for help with working the laundry machines in her dorm because, and I quote, "I've never had to do my own laundry"...

 

[YogaBe@r]

What the hell is this thread? Do whatever you want! Why would you seek the advice of strangers for something like this?

If you want to stay at home, stay at home.
If you don't want to stay at home, don't stay at home.

This statement plus your
"Accepted!!! I won't have to live at my mom's house next year! attachFull187835 "

 

[baxt1412]

This statement plus your
"Accepted!!! I won't have to live at my mom's house next year! attachFull187835 "

living at home post-grad and proud. you know how much money I have saved? indispensable with how expensive this cycle was since I didn't have a suit, traveling for interviews, deposit(s), etc.

I had a choice. I easily could have lived on my own or with roommates. But living at home for ~ 1 year will allow me much more freedom later on than would signing a lease for a year at an apartment complex, etc

 

[WaterPog]

 

[mehc012]

Debatable. Certainly most (close to all) people can survive living on their own. Doesn't mean that everyone should, 'just cause'.

Exactly. I'm 24, with 3 jobs. I certainly could support myself independently. However, by living with my mother,
a) I get an awesome roommate who will do fun stuff with me like rock climbing
b) I get to see my family when otherwise we never would...even living in the same small apt, we sometimes go 2wks or more without catching a glimpse because both of our schedules are packed
c) I save boatloads of cash. Sadly, one of my jobs is an unpaid internship and another pays minimum wage. Were I living alone, I'd be able to get by, sure, but I wouldn't make much forward progress, financially speaking. But with no rent or other major bills to worry about, I am able to buy my food and gas with the minimum wage job and put the entirety of my other paycheck - usually over $1000/mo - into savings.

If I moved out, sure, I'd get to pat myself on the back for finally accomplishing financial/home independence, but I'd no longer be building my savings and I'd miss out on the other advantages (such as sharing housework/cooking based on whoever is slammed that week, and the above mentioned intangibles). Seems like a poor trade to me!

 

[amazing tekkers]

Exactly. I'm 24, with 3 jobs. I certainly could support myself independently. However, by living with my mother,
a) I get an awesome roommate who will do fun stuff with me like rock climbing
b) I get to see my family when otherwise we never would...even living in the same small apt, we sometimes go 2wks or more without catching a glimpse because both of our schedules are packed
c) I save boatloads of cash. Sadly, one of my jobs is an unpaid internship and another pays minimum wage. Were I living alone, I'd be able to get by, sure, but I wouldn't make much forward progress, financially speaking. But with no rent or other major bills to worry about, I am able to buy my food and gas with the minimum wage job and put the entirety of my other paycheck - usually over $1000/mo - into savings.

If I moved out, sure, I'd get to pat myself on the back for finally accomplishing financial/home independence, but I'd no longer be building my savings and I'd miss out on the other advantages (such as sharing housework/cooking based on whoever is slammed that week, and the above mentioned intangibles). Seems like a poor trade to me!

I like this logic.

Currently third year, I still live with my parents. Save a lot of money.

 

[allantois]

Hey guys,
I was just wondering if my decision is smart. I want to live at home until med school, since I'll most likely have to move and get an apartment by myself. I'm 19 currently, and will be 22/23 when I leave for med school. Is this an okay age to leave the house?

Emotions aside,

There is not much benefit in attending a "prestigious" university as opposed to your local university as far as med school admissions is concerned. Even if you attend a local university, you could still move out on your own if you so desire but it doesn't have to be now.

 

[mehc012]

Emotions aside,

There is not much benefit in attending a "prestigious" university as opposed to your local university as far as med school admissions is concerned. Even if you attend a local university, you could still move out on your own if you so desire but it doesn't have to be now.

Yours is absolutely the first mention of university choice (prestigious or not) in this thread. The bolded pretty much restates OP's situation.

 

[allantois]

Yours is absolutely the first mention of university choice (prestigious or not) in this thread. The bolded, which pretty much restates OP's situation, is the only pertinent bit.

From my understanding the OP is deciding between attending a local university and a university elsewhere. Even though the situation is not presented this way; she may want to consider whether going to one university over another would be beneficial down the road and my answer is that since it doesn't matter what university you attend, there should be no worries about staying home.

Weird assault on my post.

 

[mehc012]

From my understanding the OP is deciding between attending a local university and a university elsewhere. Even though the situation is not presented this way; she may want to consider whether going to one university over another would be beneficial down the road and my answer is that since it doesn't matter what university you attend, there should be no worries about staying home.

Weird assault on my post.

I edited it to be less combative, but apparently not quickly enough for you not to see it! My bad.

But looking back, I again see absolutely no indication that there is a university choice on the line, and certainly none pertaining to prestige. Also, with OP being 19 and expecting to go to med school at 22, it seems to me that they're already in undergrad.
Even if your assessment of the situation is correct, you are certainly the first to comment on it. I just don't see the need to draw all of that in and turn this into another fancy-ugrad vs cheap-ugrad debate when it's really not relevant to the question OP actually asked.

 

[allantois]

I edited it to be less combative, but apparently not quickly enough for you not to see it! My bad.

But looking back, I again see absolutely no indication that there is a university choice on the line, and certainly none pertaining to prestige. Also, with OP being 19 and expecting to go to med school at 22, it seems to me that they're already in undergrad.
Even if your assessment of the situation is correct, you are certainly the first to comment on it. I just don't see the need to draw all of that in and turn this into another fancy-ugrad vs cheap-ugrad debate when it's really not relevant to the question OP actually asked.

She said 22/23; having reread the post I can say that her situation is just confusing. Of course it is okay to live at home as long as every party involved is happy with the arrangement.

I find it funny that you are accusing me of starting debates when in fact you are the one who likes to argue just for the sake of arguing

My intention was not to start a ugrad debate. I just wrote whatever first came to mind: as somebody who graduated from high school which was 5 miles away from a university I often encountered students whose primary concern with staying home to go to school was the lack of any "prestige".

 

[Spirit of the Student Doc]

Moved out at ASAP. Regretted ever since and my parents were bad people,

Stay at home until you get into a med school, just lay out some guidelines for your parents to follow. Just realize your parents no longer can give you chores, they are either doing you a favor or not. The sooner they realize you're an adult the better.

 

[jb94mg]

Moved out at ASAP. Regretted ever since and my parents were bad people,

Stay at home until you get into a med school, just lay out some guidelines for your parents to follow. Just realize your parents no longer can give you chores, they are either doing you a favor or not. The sooner they realize you're an adult the better.

Yeah, your parents should allow you to live at home for free without expecting you to do anything around the house, sit around and listen to your guidelines, and so on. Give me a break. Show some respect and appreciation. Now, I can see what mehc012 was saying about rationing housework based upon who's busier, but I don't agree with having the attitude you seem to have.

 

[Spirit of the Student Doc]

Yeah, your parents should allow you to live at home for free without expecting you to do anything around the house, sit around and listen to your guidelines, and so on. Give me a break. Show some respect and appreciation for authority. Now, I can see what mehc012 was saying about rationing housework based upon who's busier, but I don't agree with having the attitude you seem to have.

The individual is now an adult. Their parents if so willing, if they care they will, can allow them to continue staying at their residence for a longer duration. If the parents truly care about the welfare of the child it'll be done, no strings attached. This is what good parents do. Otherwise, the mental toll is far more costly than whatever the fee for a cheap flat is. The parents don't "own" the child and can no longer dictate terms (ex: laundry,dishes, trash, etc.). Anything the child does in return is out of their own free will.

-As for you, I assume you do whatever is asked of you at all times? No questions asked? The child, assumingly, wants more autonomy (or else why are you asking this question?) and being the housecleaner/secretary/etc. (being paid with a place to stay) isn't the same.

 

[MrLogan13]

Been living on my own since I turned 20. I have no regrets over a decade later. There's a lot to be said about independence and life experience that cannot be gained any other way.

But I also understand that not everyone has such an independent spirit nor wants to make the sacrifices that are required to get out on their own. Do what you think will work best for you.

 

[Pierre Escargot]

I find it funny that you are accusing me of starting debates when in fact you are the one who likes to argue just for the sake of arguing

For supposedly having three jobs as well as coursework and perhaps even an application cycle to worry about, mehc012 seems to have quite a bit of free time to argue on the internet.

 

[mehc012]

For supposedly having three jobs as well as coursework and perhaps even an application cycle to worry about, mehc012 seems to have quite a bit of free time to argue on the internet.

Nope, no app cycle. It just doesn't take much time to browse this site and write a few words. A 12hr shift may take up a lot of real world time, but it doesn't preclude you from using a computer (and in fact can require it!)

I presume allnlchs is referencing my anti-troll-hunting posts elsewhere, where I defend the utility of internet arguing...and they're right. I'm not responding here because I don't disagree with what they said. I thought their first post was unrelated to the OP, said so, and...that's it. Nothing further to say. I don't disagree with it, and they are right that I enjoy internet discussions!

 

[Drinkingtea]

The individual is now an adult. Their parents if so willing, if they care they will, can allow them to continue staying at their residence for a longer duration. If the parents truly care about the welfare of the child it'll be done, no strings attached. This is what good parents do. Otherwise, the mental toll is far more costly than whatever the fee for a cheap flat is. The parents don't "own" the child and can no longer dictate terms (ex: laundry,dishes, trash, etc.). Anything the child does in return is out of their own free will.

-As for you, I assume you do whatever is asked of you at all times? No questions asked? The child, assumingly, wants more autonomy (or else why are you asking this question?) and being the housecleaner/secretary/etc. (being paid with a place to stay) isn't the same.

Wow...your post reminds me of how different forms of child-rearing yield drastically different perspectives. My whole family will probably throw tomatoes at me if I give them your spiel. The "family" I grew up knowing is cultivated by sharing each other's burdens (chores being the minimum). Maybe it is a cultural thing...

Also...you said "good parents" provide for their child no strings attached. I value that quality of parents, but I don't think it is fair the way you put it. Parents are humans too. Since you are a capable adult and not a kid anymore, free-loading at the parents is grace...demanding that they "respect your autonomy" and "follow your guidelines" is just bratty.

 

[mehc012]

Wow...your post reminds me of how different forms of child-rearing yield drastically different perspectives. My whole family will probably throw tomatoes at me if I give them your spiel. The "family" I grew up knowing is cultivated by sharing each other's burdens (chores being the minimum). Maybe it is a culture thing...

Yeah, I'm in your boat on this one. But then, my family growing up was very atypical.

 

[baxt1412]

Live at home while a kid? Chores
Live at home while an adult? Rent with chores or higher rent without chores.

I think its bull**** to assume you shouldn't have to do the things around the house which contribute to the general upkeep if the house. If you make dishes you should do them. You should pitch in with dinner, mowing the lawn, etc. Everything benefits you as well and its the least you could do for your parents allowing you to live in their house

 

[mehc012]

Live at home while a kid? Chores
Live at home while an adult? Rent with chores or higher rent without chores.

I think its bull**** to assume you shouldn't have to do the things around the house which contribute to the general upkeep if the house. If you make dishes you should do them. You should pitch in with dinner, mowing the lawn, etc. Everything benefits you as well and its the least you could do for your parents allowing you to live in their house

I don't pay rent, but only because my mother told me flat-out that if I paid her rent, she'd just stick it in a savings account and give it to me when I moved out. So I just stick it into a savings account directly!

I never had chores as a kid, and I don't now...but it's kind of a given that whoever cooks doesn't have to do the dishes, and if anyone has a guest coming over, everyone pitches in whenever they're home until the place looks presentable. Other than that, anyone can just go into cleaning mode at any time, and if you just sit around while the other person scours the house, you're an @$$ and you deserve to get yelled at by your inevitably irritable housemate, family or no.

 

[Spirit of the Student Doc]

Wow...your post reminds me of how different forms of child-rearing yield drastically different perspectives. My whole family will probably throw tomatoes at me if I give them your spiel. The "family" I grew up knowing is cultivated by sharing each other's burdens (chores being the minimum). Maybe it is a cultural thing...

Also...you said "good parents" provide for their child no strings attached. I value that quality of parents, but I don't think it is fair the way you put it. Parents are humans too. Since you are a capable adult and not a kid anymore, free-loading at the parents is grace...demanding that they "respect your autonomy" and "follow your guidelines" is just bratty.

Well, the child would of course would return the favor (if they are a good child). Furthermore, free-loading is horrible. The understanding is they are being provided a place to stay while in school..... Not a chill pad. I would want my child to do well, not help me do something.
I'm personally in the free will, low control style of parenting. I doubt it's a cultural thing my parents are just the trash of society (not the white trash/ inner city kind).

Live at home while a kid? Chores
Live at home while an adult? Rent with chores or higher rent without chores.

I think its bull**** to assume you shouldn't have to do the things around the house which contribute to the general upkeep if the house. If you make dishes you should do them. You should pitch in with dinner, mowing the lawn, etc. Everything benefits you as well and its the least you could do for your parents allowing you to live in their house

If you do something clean/fix it. Any responsible child would help out in all the ways you described.

I was speaking in a more, parents involved in what classes you're taking (unless they're doctors don't let them get involved, they shouldn't be living through you), ordering you to help (in this tone you should always respond no), etc.

But rather than argue,......... Everyone is free to make their own choice.

Mine clearly come from a jaded reality. When I think of parenting I think of Milgrams experiment (probably not a correlation that should be occurring) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milgram_experiment


-Overall, I concede you guys are, for the most part, right.

 

[mehc012]

Well, the child would of course would return the favor (if they are a good child). Furthermore, free-loading is horrible. The understanding is they are being provided a place to stay while in school..... Not a chill pad. I would want my child to do well, not help me do something.
I'm personally in the free will, low control style of parenting. I doubt it's a cultural thing my parents are just the trash of society (not the white trash/ inner city kind).



If you do something clean/fix it. Any responsible child would help out in all the ways you described.

I was speaking in a more, parents involved in what classes you're taking (unless they're doctors don't let them get involved, they shouldn't be living through you), ordering you to help (in this tone you should always respond no), etc.

But rather than argue,......... Everyone is free to make their own choice.

Mine clearly come from a jaded reality. When I think of parenting I think of Milgrams experiment (probably not a correlation that should be occurring) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milgram_experiment


-Overall, I concede you guys are, for the most part, right.

Ah, see when I hear 'chores', I think 'concrete guidelines that parents set out about what help is expected around the house to prevent their children from growing up as complete freeloaders.'

My mother never made things that concrete, but being 'a responsible child' was not optional either

I've never heard anyone use 'chore' in the manner you describe, but starting from that premise, I can see why you'd be so vehement. My take always was, once you're an adult, they literally cannot do anything to change which courses you take. If they are letting you live with them, they can take away that privilege and...that's it. So if mom says 'take Calc or you can no longer live here', you say 'sayonara!'

 

[Spirit of the Student Doc]

Ah, see when I hear 'chores', I think 'concrete guidelines that parents set out about what help is expected around the house to prevent their children from growing up as complete freeloaders.'

My mother never made things that concrete, but being 'a responsible child' was not optional either

I've never heard anyone use 'chore' in the manner you describe, but starting from that premise, I can see why you'd be so vehement. My take always was, once you're an adult, they literally cannot do anything to change which courses you take. If they are letting you live with them, they can take away that privilege and...that's it. So if mom says 'take Calc or you can no longer live here', you say 'sayonara!'

Yeah, I never should have poked my nose in this one. My parents where the micromanager types and said I was a soldier who followed orders no questions asked. (Mutiny was the result)
Oh well, OP should just disregard my posts.

 

[Zelda840]

Moved out at 15 and while I can certainly see how it isn't for everyone, I know for a fact that it was the best thing for my relationship with my family. My mom and I are extremely close now that I'm an adult, but living together just didn't work for us.

 

[allantois]

Moved out at 15 and while I can certainly see how it isn't for everyone, I know for a fact that it was the best thing for my relationship with my family. My mom and I are extremely close now that I'm an adult, but living together just didn't work for us.

Where do people go to live at 15?

 

[Zelda840]

I think a lot of people who move out that young are leaving a really terrible situation (abuse/sexual violence, etc) and often have to couch crash or live in their car/homeless shelters, but it wasn't like that for me. I lived with friends. Worked, paid rent, just couldn't be on the lease.

 

[Snakes]

Stay at home until you get into a med school, just lay out some guidelines for your parents to follow. Just realize your parents no longer can give you chores, they are either doing you a favor or not. The sooner they realize you're an adult the better.

What is going on in the boards tonight?? The sense of entitlement is pervasive.

The day my kid gives me "guidelines" for what to expect in my own home after they have reached the age of majority while I am giving them a free place to stay to help THEM save money is a day I don't expect to see while I am still an otherwise competent human being.

"Adults" pay rent, and it costs. So "realize" that in lieu of that, your parents may expect some help around the house in return, and that doesn't mean they are somehow "stifling your sense of adulthood", since actual adults pay their own way in the real world.

What a ridiculous post.

 

[Lucca]

Moved out at 18. This whole staying at my parents house on my own terms would not roll in my family. You owe your family a ton from the second you are born, no questions asked. That's possibly the ****tiest bargaining position most people will ever be in when they are alive, get out as soon as you can, imho.

 

[Spirit of the Student Doc]

Uh, to be fair guys I moved out before I turned 18. (Wasn't ever really home before that)

and I conceded to all of you...... My statement about guidelines was a little out of touch.

Yeah, I never should have poked my nose in this one. Oh well, OP should just disregard my posts.

 

[Snakes]

Uh, to be fair guys I moved out before I turned 18. (Wasn't ever really home before that)

and I conceded to all of you...... My statement about guidelines was a little out of touch.

True, you did. I posted my comment before I read your later statement, so--understood.

I myself stayed home for college but moved out when the price for "free rent" became too high. I had no problem helping out around the house and running errands, etc., but my mother also began trying to restrict where I could go when I wasn't at home or at school. That price seemed too high to me, so out I went. Frankly it ended up being better for the relationship in the long run.

 

[Spirit of the Student Doc]

Moved out at 18. This whole staying at my parents house on my own terms would not roll in my family. You owe your family a ton from the second you are born, no questions asked. That's possibly the ****tiest bargaining position most people will ever be in when they are alive, get out as soon as you can, imho.

You owe your parents from the moment you're born. Wow!

I have to disagree. Debt theory is false. Only Special goods theory can be true.

Having just finished Philosophy up (with an A), I'm aware of the four theories:

1. Debt Theory: Your parents have done so much for you. You owe them.

-Okay and what is the measure of goods in this situation? Debt does not change. Why should a struggling artist help their parents out less, than say a lawyer? Why is it only reasonable? It is a debt. Furthermore, why can I never pay it all off? In relation to what debtors have to pay creditors it just isn't the same. (think about your credit cards)

2. Gratitude Theory: Someone does something for you and you (should) respond with an act of gratitude.

-A better theory than the garbage that is debt theory.
-By definition gratitude is not a filial duty. So your awesome mom has surgery and doesn't like to be thanked all the time (finds it embarrassing)..... So rather than be by her side you go play a round of golf. If you believe in filial duties than this just doesn't work.
-Level of sacrifice....... One parent had to sacrifice less (they enjoyed being a parent) so the level of gratitude owed to them is less. Or is it? Why would that be? It would for gratitude in any other case though.
-Demand of gratitude: If you believe in filial duties.... a long term open-ended commitment vs. ??? substantially less in gratitude? Also, an act of benevolence isn't done with the belief of long term permanent return.

In the end though..... if I accept any (of the three classical theories) it's this one. The gratitude is dependent upon the parents (good, not as good, etc.). Also, it isn't a debt. Anyone parent who believes that should meet with the department of families and children.

3. Friendship Theory: For adult children and parents. The filial duties are on par w/ that of friends.

-Okay that is due on mutuality, not reciprocity.
-Being a friend is a choice, you're not born into it.
-Shared values.... what if you have none with your parents?
-Say you drift apart..... and they need financial help and you're rich. But you choose not to. After all it's been years and you've both gone your own ways. That's how it is with friends is it not?

-Just a weird theory in my opinion.

4. Special goods Theory: Young children receive "special goods" from parents. Old parents then receive "special goods" from children. Can't receive any other way. Not being able to be a parent can't be satisfied in some other way (lessened but not fulfilled). Just as not having good relations with your parents can't be satisfied by great friends. Only you can provide these special goods, so you have special, filial, duties.
-This theory went so far as to put limitations on itself: Healthy parent-child relationship and natural attachment of child to parent.

Dang, bad parents deserve nothing... Still a question on individual autonomy but.......

Okay, I guess I might have to agree with this theory.



-----So, as you can see. You do not owe your parents from the moment your born. Unless you believe in debt theory, which I believe I've disproved here.

Now back to some reading, in quiet.

 

[Lucca]

You owe your parents from the moment you're born. Wow!

I have to disagree. Debt theory is false. Only Special goods theory can be true.

Having just finished Philosophy up (with an A), I'm aware of the four theories:

1. Debt Theory: Your parents have done so much for you. You owe them.

-Okay and what is the measure of goods in this situation? Debt does not change. Why should a struggling artist help their parents out less, than say a lawyer? Why is it only reasonable? It is a debt. Furthermore, why can I never pay it all off? In relation to what debtors have to pay creditors it just isn't the same. (think about your credit cards)

2. Gratitude Theory: Someone does something for you and you (should) respond with an act of gratitude.

-A better theory than the garbage that is debt theory.
-By definition gratitude is not a filial duty. So your awesome mom has surgery and doesn't like to be thanked all the time (finds it embarrassing)..... So rather than be by her side you go play a round of golf. If you believe in filial duties than this just doesn't work.
-Level of sacrifice....... One parent had to sacrifice less (they enjoyed being a parent) so the level of gratitude owed to them is less. Or is it? Why would that be? It would for gratitude in any other case though.
-Demand of gratitude: If you believe in filial duties.... a long term open-ended commitment vs. ??? substantially less in gratitude? Also, an act of benevolence isn't done with the belief of long term permanent return.

In the end though..... if I accept any (of the three classical theories) it's this one. The gratitude is dependent upon the parents (good, not as good, etc.). Also, it isn't a debt. Anyone parent who believes that should meet with the department of families and children.

3. Friendship Theory: For adult children and parents. The filial duties are on par w/ that of friends.

-Okay that is due on mutuality, not reciprocity.
-Being a friend is a choice, you're not born into it.
-Shared values.... what if you have none with your parents?
-Say you drift apart..... and they need financial help and you're rich. But you choose not to. After all it's been years and you've both gone your own ways. That's how it is with friends is it not?

-Just a weird theory in my opinion.

4. Special goods Theory: Young children receive "special goods" from parents. Old parents then receive "special goods" from children. Can't receive any other way. Not being able to be a parent can't be satisfied in some other way (lessened but not fulfilled). Just as not having good relations with your parents can't be satisfied by great friends. Only you can provide these special goods, so you have special, filial, duties.
-This theory went so far as to put limitations on itself: Healthy parent-child relationship and natural attachment of child to parent.

Dang, bad parents deserve nothing... Still a question on individual autonomy but.......

Okay, I guess I might have to agree with this theory.



-----So, as you can see. You do not owe your parents from the moment your born. Unless you believe in debt theory, which I believe I've disproved here.

Now back to some reading, in quiet.

I'm familiar with the theories and the logic behind them. It doesn't matter what you believe if that's how your house works. Family is not a thinking democracy. Not in my house.

 

[Spirit of the Student Doc]

I'm familiar with the theories and the logic behind them. It doesn't matter what you believe if that's how your house works. Family is not a thinking democracy. Not in my house.

I suppose one way to change this is to define adult child..... If you are still living with your parents, then perhaps one can assume mentally the child is not an adult and therefore their parents have some level of sway over them in this case.

 

[Lucca]

I suppose one way to change this is to define adult child..... If you are still living with your parents, then perhaps one can assume mentally the child is not an adult and therefore their parents have some level of sway over them in this case.

Your parents hold the assets, i.e the home, therefore it really doesn't matter how the child/adult considers themselves because they have no leverage in the situation unless their parents give it to them. The answer is going to be different for everyone's parental situation. Most hispanic parents, like my parents have no problem with their kids staying in the house until they graduate college; that is how it is often done back home. However, it is completely understood that elders>you forever.

 

[mehc012]

I suppose one way to change this is to define adult child..... If you are still living with your parents, then perhaps one can assume mentally the child is not an adult and therefore their parents have some level of sway over them in this case.

Um, wow, no. That does not have to be the case. I lived on my own in college...my mother and I decided together that it'd be better and more fun for both of us if we lived together again.

 

[Spirit of the Student Doc]

Um, wow, no. That does not have to be the case. I lived on my own in college...my mother and I decided together that it'd be better and more fun for both of us if we lived together again.

Nothing wrong with that. The problem with philosophy is there is no perfect answer. I could continue to mitigate here.... but eventually I'll run myself into a corner.
Best for everyone to live their life as they choose, free from some overriding belief system controlling them.

 

[FutureOncologist]

If your parent(s) are willing to support you financially, then take it. Everyone understands how hard it is on your own while attending school (esp. in debt) and trying to support yourself financially.

Don't be in that mentality that everyone HAS to move out at the age of 18.

 

[AlteredScale]

If you live in a super expensive area like San Diego where a 1 bedroom near the university is close to 1K/month then I would try to stay home. I stayed home albeit had to still pay rent but it was much cheaper than paying for a room near school. Commuting sucks though...

 

[mehc012]

There's a lot to be said about independence and life experience that cannot be gained any other way.

That is true, and it is a wonderful thing to learn...but there's also something to be said for knowing how to determine whether now is the most prudent time to embark on that journey. Everyone needs to learn independence at some point, but that point is not necessarily identical for all.

 

[ridethecliche]

I just preferred living in an apartment with friends after graduation because there's no way I would high five my mom the morning after I brought someone home, but my roommate and I did that every time she had someone over or I did. It was pretty awesome.

 

[baxt1412]

Having just finished Philosophy up (with an A),

1. Stopped reading there. One class and you're an expert?
2. "With an A" oooh watch out. So impressed.

 

[Spirit of the Student Doc]

1. Stopped reading there. One class and you're an expert?
2. "With an A" oooh watch out. So impressed.

er... no, I'm not. Just, glad I did okay is all................... The post aforementioned was a response to the owe debt the moment you're born post.... Neither of which was fully serious, except I was studying and had just finished that subject up and thought of posting it.....

Sorry, if I've offended you.