Name changing for female MDs

[MDchouette]

I'm getting married right before residency starts, and I am not sure what to do about my name. I have never intended to change my name, but it has turned out to be much more important to my fiance than I thought it would be. I don't mind being Dr./Mrs. Hisname socially, but in the hospital, I want to be Dr. MDchouette.

As far as you all know, what are my options?

Could I change my name to Myfirstname MDchouette Hisname and have Dr. MDchouette be the name on my white coat, the name that patients call me, the name that I publish with, etc? I would have two last names in this situation, rather than making my maiden name my middle name.

I would consider hyphenating, but his name already has a hyphen. Two hyphens is too much.

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[billypilgrim37]

Tell him he's lucky to be marrying a doctor, and tell him to shut up.

 

[peppy]

My understanding is that the name your medical license is under and that patients know you by has to be your legal last name, so you would have to go by your husband's name if you change it.
I think your plan of using Dr. YourName at work (and legally) but going by Mrs./Dr. HisLastName socially is the best compromise personally.
You could also do what some couples do and agree on a brand new last name for both of you to change to.

 

[Sneezing]

Tell him he's lucky to be marrying a doctor, and tell him to shut up.

Yes, that is an excellent way to finish every argument and relationship speed bump. Throw out communication and compromise! Who needs those trivial things when you have an 11x14 on the wall.

Personally, I believe marriage is an outdated institution that was meant to protect women and children while attempting to decrease STDs. Currently, I believe it only serves religious objectives and a social status symbol. Seeing as how it isn't essential for anyone to have a fulfilled life, or to successfully raise children, or have financial freedom, you must accept it for what it is. That means if you want to be married you take the traditions that come with it. You change your name. I believe this on a broad policy basis.

On an individual level, I believe communication and compromise are the key to working something out. No one wants to be married to an angry spouse. Life is too short for resentment and bitterness.

 

[MDchouette]

My understanding is that the name your medical license is under and that patients know you by has to be your legal last name, so you would have to go by your husband's name if you change it.
I think your plan of using Dr. YourName at work (and legally) but going by Mrs./Dr. HisLastName socially is the best compromise personally.
You could also do what some couples do and agree on a brand new last name for both of you to change to.

I think that if you have two last names, it's okay to go by either of them alone. It just has to be part of your legal name. Or at least, that is what I think I learned today. Once I figure this out, I'll post the final word. I can't be the only woman out there trying to figure this out.

And my fiance does feel lucky to be married to a doctor, although admittedly I think he'll feel luckier once he is done looking for a new job and moving across the country for my residency!

Any female MDs in practice who have done as I suggested?

 

[st2205]

I would consider hyphenating, but his name already has a hyphen. Two hyphens is too much.

Are you kidding me? Go with the double-hyphenated name. Rarely, if ever, does somebody get such an opportunity as you have. Just imagine something like Dr. Johnson-Abdul-Rauf, MD; or Dr. Williams-Abdur-Rahim, MD.

Those were the first two hyphenated last names that came to my mind

 

[MBK2003]

I name changed in medical school to the hyphenated, but find professionally it's a hindrance to have a long and difficult to pronounce name, particularly when I'm introducing myself to teens and their families daily. I've gone with just calling myself Dr. (Maiden Name), and my staff on the unit refer to me as Dr. (Hyphenated Name), Dr. (Maiden Name), or Dr. BK (initials).

With regards to what the name change meant to my significant other, it was easier to make a deal on not taking his name if I promised that the kids would have his last name. He's the last male in a long line of only males, and in his family names and tradition are a big thing. Looking back, not having appreciated the impact of a long, hard-to-pronounce hyphenated name which I would be using as a form of introduction and greeting daily, I would have just stuck with my maiden name.

 

[billypilgrim37]

Yes, that is an excellent way to finish every argument and relationship speed bump. Throw out communication and compromise!

People should get to do what they want with their names, and shouldn't feel pressured by insecure partners.

 

[Rhayven44]

I was going to respond and say just take his name, the man is always right. Then my wife forced me not to

 

[Sneezing]

People should get to do what they want with their names, and shouldn't feel pressured by insecure partners.

Insecure partners has nothing to do with it. It is all wrapped up in tradition. But if you must distill it down further it boils down to simplicity and pride. Gender roles are still very much alive and well in society and if a male is going to play his part then a wife and kids should have his surname and do their part.

I was going to respond and say just take his name, the man is always right. Then my wife forced me not to

Y'all need to watch the tradition video! "Without our traditions our lives would be as shaky... as... as... as a fiddler on the roof!"

 

[whopper]

I never figured out the deal with a wife changing the name to the husband. It's not like I own my wife, and her having the same last name would actually make me feel, well ahem, incestuous. I actually sometimes wonder if a woman not taking her husband's name may correlate with that woman not getting as much of her husband's money in a divorce ruling. If that were the case--woo-hoo! I'd want that added protection.

Not my thing, though I'd be hesitant to judge others since it is important to so many people and prevalent in culture.

IMHO changing your last name if you've already established yourself is going to make things tough since your name is something like a brand.

 

[st2205]

If a woman wants to take a man's last name, let her. Aren't we big proponents of cultural sensitivity around these parts?

 

[Doc Samson]

I would consider hyphenating, but his name already has a hyphen. Two hyphens is too much.

Have him give up one half of his hyphenation and replace it with yours.

 

[billypilgrim37]

If a woman wants to take a man's last name, let her. Aren't we big proponents of cultural sensitivity around these parts?

I don't think anybody here has said she shouldn't take her husband's last name if she wanted to. She didn't seem happy about it, however.

 

[notdeadyet]

Tell him he's lucky to be marrying a doctor, and tell him to shut up.

That doesn't fly yet. Being married to an attending may be sweet, but being married to a medical student or resident pretty much sucks.

If I met the spouse of a resident that thought it was a sweet gig, I'd be a little curious about how they grew up.

 

[OldPsychDoc]

There is no "right" way, but many of my female colleagues have mentioned that things like credentialling in the future are much easier when your professional name matches your USMLEs and medical school transcript and graduation certificate.

 

[LM02]

If you can swing it legally with licensure, I think there's something nice about using your maiden name professionally and your "new name" (whatever that ends up being) socially. Personally, I do the same and I like the fact that my personal life is harder to "infiltrate" by patients and others.

Not that I'm thinking that people are so busy trying to hunt me down, but especially now that I have children, I appreciate the fact that you can google my professional name and nothing personal will come up. Even with an unlisted telephone number, a google search under my husband's name will bring up our contact information. I'm just as happy to not have to worry about that!

 

[MDchouette]

If you can swing it legally with licensure, I think there's something nice about using your maiden name professionally and your "new name" (whatever that ends up being) socially. Personally, I do the same and I like the fact that my personal life is harder to "infiltrate" by patients and others.

Not that I'm thinking that people are so busy trying to hunt me down, but especially now that I have children, I appreciate the fact that you can google my professional name and nothing personal will come up. Even with an unlisted telephone number, a google search under my husband's name will bring up our contact information. I'm just as happy to not have to worry about that!

I also see this as a plus. It will allow me some anonymity with my patients that I wouldn't have were I to keep my maiden name (or were I single or male).

After doing a lot of searching and talking to a number of people doing credentialing & licensing at my residency program, it appears that my plan is going to work. I will remain licensed under my maiden name (and be Dr. MDchouette at work) and won't need to change my licensed name to reflect the new addition to my legal name.

I still don't particularly like the idea of changing my name, but I think this is as close to meeting in the middle as we can get. Plus, my new initials will actually spell something kind of fun, which is a bonus.

And that two-hyphen comment: hilarious.