New LOR idea! not sure if this is bad...

[spade92]

So there is someone I would like to ask for a letter of recommendation and I do think it will be positive but I'm scared about them mentioning any negatives. I don't want to risk anything.


SO I was thinking this… I would ask them for a LOR for one of the many things I'm going to apply for during my gap year (clinical job, research position, etc.) and then take a look at the letter myself. If it's all good and dandy, I send it in. And then a few months letter ask for the letter of rec for med school (which I will not have access to).

If there's even the slightest mention of something bad, I'm thinking about just not asking the person at all.

Is this bad?

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[Goro]

To paraphrase Col. Kilgore from Apocalypse Now: "Smell that? That gasoline-like smell? That's the smell of pre-med naivete in the morning"

Most LORs are written confidentially, most LOR writers ask for contact info, and don't hand the LOR over the the beneficiary.

 

[WedgeDawg]

To paraphrase Col. Kilgore from Apocalypse Now: "Smell that? That gasoline-like smell? That's the smell of pre-med naivete in the morning"

Most LORs are written confidentially, most LOR writers ask for contact info, and don't hand the LOR over the the beneficiary.

In my experience, this varies depending on who you ask. Many of my letter writers asked me if I wanted a copy for myself, after which I told them it was supposed to be confidential.

In any case, OP, you should have a frank conversation with your letter writer and ask them if they can and are willing to write you a strong, positive, LOR. If they hesitate in any way, it's in your best interest to find another writer. This is a lot easier, shorter, more efficacious, and questionably more ethical than what you are planning.

 

[passerbyca]

When I asked for my letters, I just stated that I would love to hear the things that the letter writer thought I did well as a student, researcher, volunteer etc. I added that I completely respected the confidentiality of the letter, so it was in no way necessary. Worth a shot.

 

[NotWayneBrady]

There is no need to cheat the system here, it is my understanding that the majority of good professors will either write exceptional letters, or not write a letter at all.

It will definitely be better for your interests in the long-run to have an upfront discussion with the professor about their opinions on the matter, and whether or not they would feel confident writing you a stellar letter of recommendation. If you have done your due diligence as their student, I am certain they will give you an enthusiastic yes. If they do not, you should look elsewhere for a letter. You wouldn't want them writing your recommendation anyway if they are uncertain about it.

 

[GrapesofRath]

Here's a better LOR idea----find someone else to write the letter

 

[NotWayneBrady]

Here's a better LOR idea----find someone else to write the letter

I wouldn't necessarily jump straight to discouraging him from seeking the letter, for all we know he may just be overly cautious or sensitive when it comes to guessing how his professors feel about him. Bringing it up frankly with the professor cannot hurt him in the long run, worst-case scenario the professor says no and he dodges a bullet.

I can't realistically imagine a scenario where a professor would say yes to writing you an excellent letter, and then write about you negatively. I'm speaking from very limited experience however, does this actually happen to people...?

 

[spade92]

To paraphrase Col. Kilgore from Apocalypse Now: "Smell that? That gasoline-like smell? That's the smell of pre-med naivete in the morning"

Most LORs are written confidentially, most LOR writers ask for contact info, and don't hand the LOR over the the beneficiary.

I just know a lot of people hand over the letter sealed to mail to the place at my school. So that's why I thought it was a good idea.

 

[spade92]

In my experience, this varies depending on who you ask. Many of my letter writers asked me if I wanted a copy for myself, after which I told them it was supposed to be confidential.

In any case, OP, you should have a frank conversation with your letter writer and ask them if they can and are willing to write you a strong, positive, LOR. If they hesitate in any way, it's in your best interest to find another writer. This is a lot easier, shorter, more efficacious, and questionably more ethical than what you are planning.

Besides the inherent unethical conflict, unseemly attempt to gain the system, and lack of integrity on your part, its sounds swell. Well maybe your lack of confidence shows a little

May I suggest you just ask them? The waiving of your right to see an LOR is unidirectional: it only prevents you from demanding right to see the letter. It is allowable for a writer to show you the letter if they choose to.

I will definitely be asking them for a strong LOR. I just feel like they're still going to mention some negatives that they might try to twist in a positive way and I just don't want that. For example: She was late often but later she improved and always come on time after. Technically that is still a positive to him. But what will happen when medical schools learn about that negative? Even if I happened to improve in the area…

Do you guys really believe this is unethical? Yes it is kinda gaming the system. But I'm not looking at my LOR for medical school.

@gonnif how would I go about asking if it's not allowed if I waived my right?

 

[GrapesofRath]

I will definitely be asking them for a strong LOR. I just feel like they're still going to mention some negatives that they might try to twist in a positive way and I just don't want that. For example: She was late often but later she improved and always come on time after. Technically that is still a positive to him. But what will happen when medical schools learn about that negative? Even if I happened to improve in the area…

Do you guys really believe this is unethical? Yes it is kinda gaming the system. But I'm not looking at my LOR for medical school.

@gonnif how would I go about asking if it's not allowed if I waived my right?

If you want to try and look at your letter they send for a gap year job go ahead and do you. Just, and I can't believe this isn't the most painfully basics of common sense, don't look for validation and approval from anybody for doing this, especially people who have worked in medical school admission

 

[spade92]

When I asked for my letters, I just stated that I would love to hear the things that the letter writer thought I did well as a student, researcher, volunteer etc. I added that I completely respected the confidentiality of the letter, so it was in no way necessary. Worth a shot.

There is no need to cheat the system here, it is my understanding that the majority of good professors will either write exceptional letters, or not write a letter at all.

It will definitely be better for your interests in the long-run to have an upfront discussion with the professor about their opinions on the matter, and whether or not they would feel confident writing you a stellar letter of recommendation. If you have done your due diligence as their student, I am certain they will give you an enthusiastic yes. If they do not, you should look elsewhere for a letter. You wouldn't want them writing your recommendation anyway if they are uncertain about it.

I am certainly planning on doing that. But I'm just worried they think it will be okay to mention a small thing that isn't a big deal but to adcoms it will be a big deal.

 

[spade92]

If you want to try and look at your letter they send for a gap year job go ahead and do you. Just, and I can't believe this isn't the most painfully basics of common sense, don't look for validation and approval from anybody for doing this, especially people who have worked in medical school admission

And where was I doing that?

 

[Goro]

And you would open the sealed letter????

I just know a lot of people hand over the letter sealed to mail to the place at my school. So that's why I thought it was a good idea.

 

[spade92]

And you would open the sealed letter????

You're suggesting I'm such a horrible person!!! I'm just saying is it any different from asking 5 people for LORs, using the best 3 to send to a job and doing whatever you please with the last 2 (reading or discarding them).

 

[Goro]

If you know what the LORs say, then why even ask the question.

But keep in mind that a letter written knowing the reader might see it may very well differ than one where the designee has given up the right to read it.

You're suggesting I'm such a horrible person!!! I'm just saying is it any different from asking 5 people for LORs, using the best 3 to send to a job and doing whatever you please with the last 2 (reading or discarding them).