Nontraditional Mother with Strange Family Set Up: PA or MD/DO?

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thefemalepessoa

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How much will I miss out on my daughter's life if I choose to go to medical school. Having to work and do undergrad, along with research and volunteering has been difficult for me as it is. Will the lack of time I have with my daughter increase? Will my boyfriend's family have more of an influence on my daughter and mold her into someone I don't want her to be?

It depends. Med school will be significantly more time-consuming than undergrad.

How does constantly moving around (for school, for residency, for fellowship and job) affect a child?

Not in a good way.

Your situation doesn't sound conducive to excelling in a PA or an MD school at this point. Grad school is hard.
 
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It depends. Med school will be significantly more time-consuming than undergrad.



Not in a good way.

Your situation doesn't sound conducive to excelling in a PA or an MD school at this point. Grad school is hard.

I am willing to change my situation. I'm not asking if whether or not you think I can do grad school, I am asking for advice. Sounds like you don't have much to give, which is fine. Thanks for the response.
 
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1. Regarding your response to the other poster...This is the internet, you don’t get to pick the responses

2. Regarding your post. I wouldn’t recommend med school to a single parent without a real support network and you don’t describe one. I don’t know about PA school or your odds for getting in but parenting during PA school will be easier than med school and you should be a parent first

3. Regardless of what you do for school, I would ditch the living situation and go stay with family that supports you or just go get your own place. Life is too short for that crap if you can still provide for your kid elsewhere

4. Don’t let someone tell you, you cannot be a PA if you would rather be a doc. If your situation doesn’t allow for it, it doesn’t matter what you prefer. Accept that and play the hand you are dealt

Good luck with it all
 
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Other things to consider: My application is more suited to medical school. I have only have about 500 "direct patient care hours" as a home health aide, and my gpa is 3.7 and my sgpa is a 3.6. Along with this I have hospital volunteering, shadowing (several neuro-surgeons, psychiatrist and pcp), research and tutoring. I have NO PA shadowing hours, and I had some set up but because of coronavirus it got cancelled.

Based on this, it does not appear as though you are ready to submit a competitive application to PA school this year. I'm not an expert on PA admission but I believe a lack of shadowing is fatal for any application to professional health programs.

PA is a shorter path but the work that PAs do is fundamentally different from the work that MDs/DOs do. You need to decide what your priorities are and what type of work you want to engage with for the next 30+ years.

I have not taken the MCAT yet; it was my plan to take it Sept 2020 and study for it during the summer (but due to coronavirus who knows what will happen now).

A September 2020 MCAT would be conducive to applying to medical school in June 2021.

Some concerns I have regarding medical school: - How much will I miss out on my daughter's life if I choose to go to medical school. Having to work and do undergrad, along with research and volunteering has been difficult for me as it is. Will the lack of time I have with my daughter increase? Will my boyfriend's family have more of an influence on my daughter and mold her into someone I don't want her to be?

Many folks attend medical school with children. I agree with the poster above that it is not easy without a support system but people have done it / will do it in the future.

I can't answer questions about your boyfriend or his family, that is up to you to navigate. At the end of the day, you need to make decisions are that in your own best interests and the best interests of your child.
  • Could I realistically live as a single parent off loans during medical school and support me and her and find a good daycare?
This will vary by region. You are able to take out additional loans to support dependents. Childcare costs vary widely around the country.
  • How does constantly moving around (for school, for residency, for fellowship and job) affect a child?
In terms of moving vs not moving for medical school, this is a tough call. Most advisors will recommend that you apply to many programs. While there are a lot of programs in NYC, they are all competitive and admission is not guaranteed. You could apply to a limited range of programs within your geographic region, you have good reason to do that, but you may be increasing your chances of an unsuccessful application.

When you are looking for residency programs, you can choose to only apply to programs within a certain area depending on your interest and desire to stay local. Again, there are risks with that strategy but it is possible.
 
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I am willing to change my situation. I'm not asking if whether or not you think I can do grad school, I am asking for advice. Sounds like you don't have much to give, which is fine. Thanks for the response.

I do have advice. I was trying to be gentle in giving it.

My advice is to focus on gaining some real stability in your life and not the charade of deciding between MD and PA when you haven't taken the MCAT or done any PA shadowing.
 
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I do have advice. I was trying to be gentle in giving it.

My advice is to focus on gaining some real stability in your life and not the charade of deciding between MD and PA when you haven't taken the MCAT or done any PA shadowing.

I've been studying for the MCAT since last year (currently getting 508 on FL practice exams). Had plans to shadow PA but it fell through bc of coronavirus. I have spoken with several PAs and have seen what they do. It's not like I would be applying without knowing what the job entails.
This decision is not a charade. Are all physicians this demeaning post residency?
 
Man your 2.5 year old must be a genius to almost be done with college.

I can't give you any advice as to your home/family situation as I don't really have the life experience to.

Financially though, you'll have a COA increase in the amount you can borrow if you have dependent children. COA estimate from the school (which determines what you need to borrow) tends to be much higher than what you need. Our school allows for a $82k COA, I'm projected to need ~$65k. Although granted I'm single, renting an apartment with no undergrad debt payments due.
 
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I agree with what many above have said. Your candidacy for medical school will largely depend on your MCAT. FLs do not count. You listed out some serious concerns about pursuing an MD/DO for both yourself and your child. It is a difficult path made more difficult by your situation. You acknowledge this, but realistically only you can decide if the sacrifice is worth it. You WILL miss out on more of your daughter's life. You WILL (likely) struggle financially prior to earning an attending salary - loans will be available. Your daughter may "be molded" (whatever that means) into something you didn't envision, either on her own, from the influence of people you don't fully agree with, or just due to your increased absence. All of this could happen regardless if you're an MD/DO/PA or not. On the other hand, she could equally see a strong women, her own mother, pursue and achieve her dreams, making many sacrifices to get there. You shape your life and pursue your dreams, you're just currently making decisions for 2. On that note, I second moving out of that home if it's financially feasible. Ditch the private preschool for happiness.

As far as PA, it sounds like this is a fair compromise for your goals and your situation. Earlier financial independence while practicing medicine in some capacity (but it doesn't sound like the capacity you want). But again, only you can make this decision. I doubt PA schools will be forgiving that you have no shadowing and blame the coronavirus as the reason. I also thought PA schools require significantly more clinical hours than MD/DO schools (think 1000s). PA duties vary by state law, is there a particular state that gives more flexibility and allows more PA duties? You may feel you know what the job entails, but can you demonstrate that to the admissions committees?

As for the PA to MD/DO career swap, I'd seriously consider the debt and time this would take. I wouldn't go to PA school with the idea of becoming an MD/DO in the future.

Everyone posting above makes valid points to be considered. Be realistic about the challenges that you're going to face.
 
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I don't know that I would interpret @Dave1980's post as being demeaning or snide but instead as being pretty realistic. The reality is that your MCAT is going to have a lot to do with whether or not you are able to move forward with an MD/DO program. With the mean MCAT for accepted MD students being a 511, a competitive score is well over the 80th percentile. For DO admissions the mean is a bit lower, but still well over the 65th percentile. Additionally, the patient contact and shadowing requirements for PA schools are very high. It may be that you crush the MCAT and decide to go that route because your score makes you competitive for programs around NYC. It may be that with additional PA shadowing you decide it is / is not the path for you. That being said, the purpose of shadowing isn't just for you to find out if a given field is for you but rather to demonstrate to admissions committees that you understand what you are signing up for and are a strong fit for the program. Full disclosure, I was grilled during my interview as non-trad with 4 years of volunteering in multiple medical settings about whether or not I really understood what the work of being a physician entailed because in my interviewers eyes, I did not have a lot of shadowing when compared to other applicants.

You have some pretty tough decisions ahead of you and I know covid-19 threw a wrench in your plans. The good news is that you have time to figure out which is the right path for you. You are in a much better position than I was. When I was 25 I had just decided to pursue a career in medicine and hadn't completed a single prerequisite class. I will just now be matriculating to medical school at 30. PA school is competitive, shorter, and will leave you with less debt and a quicker route to a paycheck. But you will be limited in the scope of your practice. MD/DOs have longer trainings with school and residency requiring long hours and likely more debt. But MDs/DOs have more room in terms of their practice and higher earning potential. Balancing all of the competing interests as outlined in your post is going to be challenging. Simply put, there won't be enough time in the day to meet every demand of your time satisfactorily. One of my wife's best friends in veterinary school started at 37 and had 3 children under the age of 8. She made it work but struggled with feeling guilty about not being able to do everything that she needed to: some exams she wasn't able to study for as much due to parent teacher conferences or a child's illness, some school events she missed because she was on call. She went on to finish vet school and complete a residency and is very happy with the choices that she made for herself and her family.

Best of luck to you.
 
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I don't know that I would interpret @Dave1980's post as being demeaning or snide but instead as being pretty realistic.

More so about the grammar around the 2.5 year olds education. Who cares. Gloss over it. Move on. It wasn't necessary.
 
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You’re really young...you could do PA first, pay those loans off and work until your daughter is older, then do MD/DO later if you wanted to.

It seems Ike either way you’re not quite ready to submit an application to either program until next cycle. You need more patient care hours for PA and an MCAT score for MD. With what’s going on now, all of those could get pushed even further. You do however have a job where you can continue to get patient hours.

Realistically, as a mom and non-trad medical student, here’s what I would do:

1. Take that degree in June and get a job in that field.
2. Move out of your boyfriend’s family’s house once you have a job. Establish a stable routine for yourself and your daughter. Be financially responsible and save as much as you can.
3. Seek therapy if necessary, to deal with your stress/depression. This is not giving medical advice.
4. When your daughter starts elementary school, revisit the idea of PA/Med school. You’ll be ~28 then, which is only a couple of years older than the average Med student, and your daughter will be busy and cared for 7-8 hours a day while in school. Professional school isn’t going anywhere, and your well-being and your daughter’s is the most important thing right now.

That’s how I would do it, coming from a mom of many and a nontrad OMS-1. Good luck...I wish you all the best!
 
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