Personal Statement -- Help and Proofreading

Make the most of your gap year with our MSPN program.
This forum made possible through the generous support of SDN members, donors, and sponsors. Thank you.

Did this service help you?

  • :thumbup:I used this service and I got accepted to at least 1 school.

    Votes: 7 53.8%

  • :thumbdown:I used this service and I didn't get accepted at all.

    Votes: 1 7.7%

  • :confused:I used this service, I don't think it affected my acceptances or rejections.

    Votes: 5 38.5%
  • Total voters
    13
Shroomhead, see the first post, just PM any of us and we'll help you
Members don't see this ad.
 
Hi!

I am going to be applying this summer but havnt started yet... I was wondering if anyone could kindly send me a sample personal statement?

I can't seem to find Essay 101 Workshop...

My email is [email protected] !

THANK YOU so much! I'm sure we all understand how nerve-wrecking it is to think about PS's and applying!!
 
StringTheorist said:
i got in with a 2.99 prepharm GPA. and i know my personal statement kicked ass. it was inspiring, even by my standards :D if you need help, just message me.
Click to expand...
Hi, Can I send you my personal statement?
 
Members don't see this ad :)
shroomhead said:
hi there, are you still willig to read personal statements?
Click to expand...

Hi there sorry for the late reply, I didn't get a chance to visit this forum the past few days. Yes, I am still interest in reading your personal statement. However for quick reply please PM me. Good luck :)
 
TrojanRx said:
Hi there sorry for the late reply, I didn't get a chance to visit this forum the past few days. Yes, I am still interest in reading your personal statement. However for quick reply please PM me. Good luck :)
Click to expand...

I would strongly suggest sending email addresses via PM rather than posting them in a public forum. SDN has a high enough hit count that it is a potential target for email harvesting for spam. I won't remove your email addy, but I would suggest those that have posted to consider removing them for this reason.
 
If you are interested in having your PS read - simply send a private message to one of the users listed in the original post.

You can do this by locating a post made by the Proofreader (in this thread) and then clicking on the users name in the left hand side of their post. Select "Send a private message to... - and send them a message stating your desire for them to read your PS.

PLEASE DO NOT POST YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS>>>>

Likewise - this is not a place to ask for someone to send you a PS. You should write your own - and then have it proofread.

Happy writing... ~above~
 
aboveliquidice said:
Likewise - this is not a place to ask for someone to send you a PS. You should write your own - and then have it proofread.
Click to expand...

:laugh:

By the way, thank you so much to those of you who read my PS! Your comments were all exceptionally helpful :)
 
Hey I was wondering if you can take a look at my PS if you dont mind ?
 
SVP said:
How do we PM you guys ??? Sorry I'm new to this forum:(
Click to expand...

There are two ways off the top of my head:

1. Look for the post from the member you want to PM, click on the name listed to the left of the post. You should see an option to send a PM to that person.

2. At the top of the board where it lists a variety of menu options like User CP, FAQ, etc, you should see an option called Members List. Click to access the list and find the person you want to PM. You will see that member's profile where there will be an option to PM the person.
 
Hi, First, I would like to thank you so much for your support, even though thank you is not enough ~^^
Secondly, I need some advices for my personal statement

I gave my personal statement to one of my friend, and after she read it, she said it is a strong personal statement
then I gave my personal statement to the tutor in English tutor center. After "skimming" my personal statement; he said it is too personal and has a lot of irrelevant detail that I should take out. He said my personal statement should have the attention right from the beginning,should have the thesis right from the beginning, not at the end of the essay because no one will have time to read the whole personal statement and find the main purpose at the end . He said there are a lot of application out there and the admission definitely just skim through it.

But I read the tip and the advices in this forum, all people said that your personal statement needs to be personal, needs to address who you are, and don't assume and guess what do people in the Admission want to read in the personal statement

???
 
ngocxit said:
Hi, First, I would like to thank you so much for your support, even though thank you is not enough ~^^
Secondly, I need some advices for my personal statement

I gave my personal statement to one of my friend, and after she read it, she said it is a strong personal statement
then I gave my personal statement to the tutor in English tutor center. After "skimming" my personal statement; he said it is too personal and has a lot of irrelevant detail that I should take out. He said my personal statement should have the attention right from the beginning,should have the thesis right from the beginning, not at the end of the essay because no one will have time to read the whole personal statement and find the main purpose at the end . He said there are a lot of application out there and the admission definitely just skim through it.

But I read the tip and the advices in this forum, all people said that your personal statement needs to be personal, needs to address who you are, and don't assume and guess what do people in the Admission want to read in the personal statement

???
Click to expand...
the admissions committee doesnt skim it. or i would like to think they wouldnt. this isnt admission to undergrad or an AP essay, this is a professional school essay... they have much less of these to read and know how much it means to people. if you want, send it to any of us listed and we can tell you if its too much. i dont see how it can be TOO personal though, unless you add negative feelings to it (ie, My dad wants me to be a pharmacist... i hate him...dammit, dad...)
 
Members don't see this ad :)
ngocxit said:
Hi, First, I would like to thank you so much for your support, even though thank you is not enough ~^^
Secondly, I need some advices for my personal statement

I gave my personal statement to one of my friend, and after she read it, she said it is a strong personal statement
then I gave my personal statement to the tutor in English tutor center. After "skimming" my personal statement; he said it is too personal and has a lot of irrelevant detail that I should take out. He said my personal statement should have the attention right from the beginning,should have the thesis right from the beginning, not at the end of the essay because no one will have time to read the whole personal statement and find the main purpose at the end . He said there are a lot of application out there and the admission definitely just skim through it.

But I read the tip and the advices in this forum, all people said that your personal statement needs to be personal, needs to address who you are, and don't assume and guess what do people in the Admission want to read in the personal statement

???
Click to expand...

I've seen PS's that I would say are too personal, at least in the sense that it was all about who I am and not what I've done to prepare for pharmacy. If half your PS is stories of your struggles, your family, anything other than why you want to be a pharmacist, how you've prepared, what your goals are, then you've used too much of your PS to detail things not important to your entry to pharmacy scool. You should be an intricate part of your PS, but don't forget what part of you that you want them to see.
 
silly question regarding position statementI composed it using pharmcas word document. I tried to post it in to the space provided by pharmcas website. I seem like my essay lose paragraph format by simply cut and paste? I haven't e-submitted the application yet though.
 
RNtoPharmD said:
silly question regarding position statementI composed it using pharmcas word document. I tried to post it in to the space provided by pharmcas website. I seem like my essay lose paragraph format by simply cut and paste? I haven't e-submitted the application yet though.
Click to expand...

You can re-add the spacing if it is gone... but indentation seems to be lost
~above~
 
Any of you guys are still writing personal statement? I'm pulling my hair out oz of this... It takes forever... I want to submit my application so bad. It's already July! Is it so important? I just want to send it.
 
ok so i just send the PS in pm if i want someone to proofread it for me?
:)
 
think said:
ok so i just send the PS in pm if i want someone to proofread it for me?
:)
Click to expand...

I would suggest you PM the individual you want to read your PS, and make sure they are available to read it. They can then tell you what form they want it in, like for me personally, I rather you email it to me as an attachment.

Good luck!
 
RNtoPharmD said:
silly question regarding position statementI composed it using pharmcas word document. I tried to post it in to the space provided by pharmcas website. I seem like my essay lose paragraph format by simply cut and paste? I haven't e-submitted the application yet though.
Click to expand...

Instead of indentation, I just left an entire line between paragraphs.

Hope that helps! :)
 
RNtoPharmD said:
Any of you guys are still writing personal statement? I'm pulling my hair out oz of this... It takes forever... I want to submit my application so bad. It's already July! Is it so important? I just want to send it.
Click to expand...


Hehe, well it's really up to you...but I can tell you that many others on this forum have asked others to help proof or give advice on their essays...so you can see the amount of effort others are putting into it.

I've read about 23 or 24? I'm sure the other volunteers have read much more.
 
RNtoPharmD said:
Any of you guys are still writing personal statement? I'm pulling my hair out oz of this... It takes forever... I want to submit my application so bad. It's already July! Is it so important? I just want to send it.
Click to expand...

i was in the same situation as you back in may...but after finals were over for spring semester i just sat down and stared at the computer until i thought of something to type.
your initial version will be pretty crappy (well it was for me), but hey, you need a platform to build upon.

and like binghamkid said, there are a lot of really cool people on here willing to take time out of their schedules to help you out :thumbup:
 
It's also courteous to first ask if we would be able to read it. Sometimes we are swamped with 4 or 5 PS at one time, and we don't want you to have to wait while we read them all (I know I usually take one or two days to revise and provide pointers on the PS I read so it does add up)
 
itgoesbuzz said:
I am writing my statement and I am talking about the student research that I have done, how much should i go into it? I'm basically talking about how having a PharmD gives me an opportunity to pursue my research interests if i choose to go in that direction. I feel like I should just mention the basic idea, and leave the explaining for if I get an interview somewhere.
Click to expand...
I feel as if you should spell it out for the committee, but don't make it the only point of your essay. Feel free to go into general details, your vision, your motivations... but don't make the whole essay about how you would like to do research. Maybe you can add qualities of yourself that show you are suitable for the pharmacy career. I guess what I'm saying is to pitch yourself to the colleges and not just your vision.
 
I finished personal statement in Pharmcas, and the pharmcas application was sent to different pharmcas school.

However, many school required their own personal statements (Eg. MCP, mercer, LECOM). That means big projects of writing assignment for non-native speaker like me.

Can I wait until september to submit them? I am busy preparing for PCAT while working full-time right now.... I just think no point to stress over this personal statement now if I don't have time to prepare well for PCAT.

Al least now, I can apply to University of Iowa or South University where they don't require additional personal statement for their school.

Do you agree should I wait? Is there nay advantage of submitting supplemental application earlier than sep while they still have to wait for PCAT score anyway?
So.. I guess I will wait until the beginning of September. I hope it is not too late.
 
Altough supplemental essay is not part of the application, I just saw that south and University of Iowa also have essay as a part of the interview! I have essay-phobia. desperate to find a school that require no additional essay. impromtu essay during interview is worse:)
 
I am applying this fall, I have my personal statement written. I was wondering if anyone out there can proofread it for me and provide suggestions.
 
" I would be glad to read your statement! PM me so I can give you my email address.

I look forward to it!"

-UtterDevotion

Hi there UtterDevotion.

I've submitted my PS to PharmCAS, but working on my other PS for the supplemental app. Would you please proofread them?

thanks
 
I apologize for being slow on some of the PS's. My bro got married 7/28 and I moved last weekend. I'll be without my usual 24/7 internet for a couple weeks. So if you have some time I can still read them while I'm at work, but it may be a few days before you hear from me again.
 
Hey everyone :) I know I've been very very quiet on the boards, but I hope I've been of some help to the bunch that have PM'ed me for help. Thanks for your patience and I'm sorry that I couldn't get back to some of you soon enough (I had bought a new laptop and didn't have my bookmarks, so I neglected SDN). I'm heading up to the city already so I unfortunately won't be of any help from now on. But good luck everyone!!!!! :luck: I remember being in your shoes exactly a year ago, and I will tell you that it's all worth it in the end. Keep on going, you guys will make it :thumbup:

-Senzabee
 
Hi all! I am glad help out with personal statements. I recently just got accepted into Albany College of Pharmacy, but I am planning to transfer back to my state school, so I am also having many of the SDN members to proofread my personal statements. I applied to three schools, and got interviews on all of them. I wrote a total 6 essays for those three schools + PharmCAS
 
i know part of the pharmcas questions asked us to write about the short term and long term goals. how much did you guys get into the topic? i feel that it is a bit arbitrary since we don't know what will happen a year from now.
i mostly talked about what build my pharmacy interest and the pharmacy related experience i got. any other suggestion?
 
i need someone to review my personal statement, i'm a bad writer and worried!!...whos available, can you please pm me ur email address :)
 
cy19861126 said:
Hi all! I am glad help out with personal statements. I recently just got accepted into Albany College of Pharmacy, but I am planning to transfer back to my state school, so I am also having many of the SDN members to proofread my personal statements. I applied to three schools, and got interviews on all of them. I wrote a total 6 essays for those three schools + PharmCAS
Click to expand...
I need you help. PM you
 
Hey LECOMorBUST, Omnione, Farmercyst, trojanRX, and drugdoc, I sent you my PS two weeks ago. Are you still able to proofread, or are you just on a vacation?
 
I have just put together my Pharmcas essay and i am hoping someone would help me proofread it and Maybe i could get some insights as well. Please let me know if you are chanced.
 
oladejow7 said:
I have just put together my Pharmcas essay and i am hoping someone would help me proofread it and Maybe i could get some insights as well. Please let me know if you are chanced.
Click to expand...

Oladejow7,
Just PM any of the volunteers. And they will let you know if they are available, and how they would like you to send your essay to them.
 
For all those students who are looking for someone to proofread their personal statement, i suggest you go to your academic advising counslers. Every school has one. Don't send your personal statement to people who just got accepted to pharmacy school. Their profile is different from yours, and just because he/she got accepted doesn't mean their personal statement was good. Seek professional advice, from people who have experience and maturity. I can garantee you most people here just want to get ideas from other personal statements by saying that they have gotten accepted to pharmacy school. Number one, they are not professionals, just yet. Number two, your personal statement is private, and you should trust people you see in person and people who have experience such as academic advising. Number three, we have all faced different circumstances that drove us into the pharmacy field, so these people will try to correct your personal statement by adding some of the things they wrote on their personal statements. Academic advising will not do that, they will help you improve what you already have. So do not be fooled by this pharmacy forum, just like aol, and other websites, they too can have phony people in it. Good luck to all.......
 
NtrlSelection said:
For all those students who are looking for someone to proofread their personal statement, i suggest you go to your academic advising counslers. Every school has one. Don't send your personal statement to people who just got accepted to pharmacy school. Their profile is different from yours, and just because he/she got accepted doesn't mean their personal statement was good. Seek professional advice, from people who have experience and maturity. I can garantee you most people here just want to get ideas from other personal statements by saying that they have gotten accepted to pharmacy school. Number one, they are not professionals, just yet. Number two, your personal statement is private, and you should trust people you see in person and people who have experience such as academic advising. Number three, we have all faced different circumstances that drove us into the pharmacy field, so these people will try to correct your personal statement by adding some of the things they wrote on their personal statements. Academic advising will not do that, they will help you improve what you already have. So do not be fooled by this pharmacy forum, just like aol, and other websites, they too can have phony people in it. Good luck to all.......
Click to expand...

While I appreciate your opinion - the purpose of the PS proofreading thread is to provide unbiased feedback from legitimate pharmacy students. All of the PS proofreaders are longtime members - character was the overall factor in choosing them - established by a person's posting habits. If a person is going through the steps of getting housing, making friends, and doing all of the things necessary for matriculation - I feel confident that they are doing so.

Can this system be duped - sure - I encourage everyone to investigate a proofreader before using one. Again - this thread is provided by volunteers to prevent what you have previously mentioned.

- one other point - If a person has applied to, interviewed at, and been accepted; They are FAR more qualified than your local volunteer at a writing center. A pharmacy student spends hours upon hours getting into pharmacy school - the ability to share that knowledge, whether in advice or simple proofreading, it far outshines other forms of aid.

As always - Its just my .02

~above~
 
I think it's best not to put all your eggs in one basket. It doesn't hurt to get multiple opinions. I had someone from SDN proofread my statement along with various other people. While I appreciate the SDN advice, I ultimately took the advice of some doctors and professors because they knew me and where I was coming from in my statement. I think it helps to have someone who knows you edit for content and someone who doesn't know you edit for style/grammar/readability.

JMO!
Jen
 
would it be a good idea to ask a pharmacist,a recent grad, to read the personal statement or its useless?
 
Has anyone written the very generic PS question, "Why are you applying to blah blah blah school?" The topic seems okay, but it's really hard to start with and I seriously don't know what to put in there. Should I put the greatness of their curriculum, weather, professors, student life, research, the town itself, etc... If so, how is any of these personal?
 
NtrlSelection said:
For all those students who are looking for someone to proofread their personal statement, i suggest you go to your academic advising counslers. Every school has one. Don't send your personal statement to people who just got accepted to pharmacy school. Their profile is different from yours, and just because he/she got accepted doesn't mean their personal statement was good. Seek professional advice, from people who have experience and maturity. I can garantee you most people here just want to get ideas from other personal statements by saying that they have gotten accepted to pharmacy school. Number one, they are not professionals, just yet. Number two, your personal statement is private, and you should trust people you see in person and people who have experience such as academic advising. Number three, we have all faced different circumstances that drove us into the pharmacy field, so these people will try to correct your personal statement by adding some of the things they wrote on their personal statements. Academic advising will not do that, they will help you improve what you already have. So do not be fooled by this pharmacy forum, just like aol, and other websites, they too can have phony people in it. Good luck to all.......
Click to expand...

Hello.

I can proofread your essay. I have experience in writing. I have many friends who got into pharmacy schools and they shared with me their pharmacy school essays. I have about six or seven personal statements from pharmacists and friends who are either in pharmacy school now or have been accepted for this year. I think I can help some people get into pharmacy school by sharing those essays I have. I have also written an essay myself that is rather better than those sample essays combined. Please email me or PM me if you would like some help with personal statements and what they should contain.

Thanks.
 
xcvbvcfgh said:
Hello.

I can proofread your essay. I have experience in writing. I have many friends who got into pharmacy schools and they shared with me their pharmacy school essays. I have about six or seven personal statements from pharmacists and friends who are either in pharmacy school now or have been accepted for this year. I think I can help some people get into pharmacy school by sharing those essays I have. I have also written an essay myself that is rather better than those sample essays combined. Please email me or PM me if you would like some help with personal statements and what they should contain.

Thanks.
Click to expand...


can u plz pm me one of the essays ;) thanx
 
think said:
can u plz pm me one of the essays ;) thanx
Click to expand...

This is not meant to be an essay sharing service. We are actually trying to avoid the spreading of PS's by proofreading original works and returning them to the author alone. For all the hassle xcvbvcfgh made those of us that helped him go through, I'm surprised he's even proposing this.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Next unread thread

Similar threads

S
PHARMCAS personal statement feedback!!! Any help is much appreciated
Replies
3
Views
2K
sourpatchpharmacy
S
P
Pharmacy Personal Statement
Replies
2
Views
1K
Ladyg228
Ladyg228
A
PharmCAS wrong personal statement
Replies
10
Views
2K
mentos
mentos
R
Pharmacy Personal Statement
Replies
4
Views
1K
CaptainPicard
CaptainPicard
I
PharmCas Personal Statement Proof Read
Replies
1
Views
1K
BC_89
BC_89
Top