to OP , I had a similar experience.
First of all, with regards to the antidepressants; I personally think its wild that a school could state (without shock and horror) that most of their students ended up on anti-depressants.
I talked to someone in charge at the school I was accepted to who mentioned the fact a lot of students took anti-depressants to cope; he almost sounded like he thought it was just the best thing ever that students would take mind altering meds. It creeped me out. I didn't want to hang around superiors who had that attitude for four years.
I am part of an old-skool of people who feel that antidepressants should only be taken in extreme situations (ie very suicidal people). I think that making lifestyle changes (such as avoiding places that make you severely depressed lol) is better.
For the past year I worked my butt off to get into pharmacy school; i applied at the very last possible minute; got in. However, I was so exhausted by the time orientation began I was miserable. I had a really hard year moving to alabama for the first time and ...went through some tough times so there was some external conflict going on in my case.
Like you, I was not overly enthused about the prospect of four more years. I hated orientation because it bored me to tears. The excessive group work was something I would be willing to hike up mountains to avoid.
I didn't want to hang around and risk finding out i would hate the classes (as you claim to) so I jumped back into my old major and planned to finish my four year degree. I did this because I did not want to waste a year; I was terrified I would end up wasting a year of my life due to hating the pharm classes. Plus I am just sick of school in general (I really feel this was one of the primary things that helped me to make my choice).
It made me sad to read that you get sick to your stomach dreading class because I know how that can feel..I guess to a certain extent all students feel that way sometimes. But if the dread is so bad that you actually hate the material then perhaps its a sign that you would be better off doing something else? I was going to say perhaps medicine is not for you until I read how much you enjoyed nursing (although for the life of me I would not want to get peed on by people
not for 1 billion bucks).
Anyway, you are in the school now. Unlike me you actually started the classes so itwould be harder to back out. Unless you have better plans perhaps you should at least stick it out one semester?
But goodness, if something is making you completely, flat out miserable and you have no enthusiasm for it then there ought to be better options. There is no amount of mood boosting pills in the world that will get you through four years of rigorously studying a subject you have no interest in at all. I think you need to at least kinda (even in a halfhearted way) like what you are studying to stay sane, although perhaps I am mistaken???
Either choice you make will have its problems. At least with Rx school you have a definite plan
(even though you might hate it with a passion). On the flip side you have *zomgs* the unknown tjhat comes with bailing out.
My own life path seems very hazy to me at the moment. I am focusing on getting my degree but after that , who knows? Maybe I woulda liked rx school more than I thought but I just think four more years woulda been too big a dish for me right now. I was not prepared to commit my mind almost completely to pharmacy.
As a result of my choice I am definitely happier now. I feel I remained true to who I am as I am not typically analytical by choice. Maybe I was not the typical pharmacy applicant
I hope this helps you because I believe I went through a similar type of thing.
We never know exactly what the future lies in store for us anyway.
