Pregnant during a LDR?

[gelato1783]

Ive been in an LDR for 4 years now and my fiancé and I are both residents. We will be married this July but I still have one more year of residency to go. I really want to have children (hoping for three) but I will be turning 32 soon and figure the only good time in the next couple of years to have a baby is during my last year of residency. Waiting till I graduate will mean being pregnant during my first job and a practice may not be very accommodating with a new hire needing time off. But I'm anxious about going through it by myself and being judged for getting pregnant so soon after we get married. Any thoughts?

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[shopsteward]

When a married woman has been in a relationship with her husband for more than 4 years, anyone who "judges" her for getting pregnant isn't anyone to whom she need pay any attention.

Getting pregnant may happen on schedule or may not. You can plan it only up to a certain point.

If you have a healthy and unproblematic pregnancy, being on your own for some or most of it is doable. If you have a more difficult pregnancy, having your husband a long way away will be awful for both of you. And if you are going to have the baby on your own, and be without your husband for the first few months of his life, you will need other support on hand.

When you are looking for employment, you should not be asked about possible pregnancies. But if a potential job is unaccommodating to pregnancy, you might not be happy there for a lot of other reasons too.

 

[gelato1783]

Thank you for your advise. It's tough to know how the future will play out, I'm not typically a risk taker but unfortunately it seems like the best option is going through the pregnancy alone. Hopefully my mom can come stay with me in the later months. Thanks again!!

 

[that redhead]

I wouldn't worry about being judged for getting pregnant so soon after marrying. Seems like most married people are badgered constantly about why they haven't had babies yet (no matter the duration post-wedding) and less likely the reverse. You don't need to defend your decision.

That being said, I think it would be really tough to be pregnant without my husband around. Yeah, family can be helpful for practical needs but I don't think the emotional support would be quite the same (haven't had children yet myself, so can't say for certain). Also, how long would you be LD after having the child?