Relationships during Residency

[nervoushabits]

I've been dating my significant other for almost 4 years now. He graduated a year ahead of me in pharmacy school and has pretty much been supporting my broke self for the last year while I do residency. He's not really on board the residency train like I am, so it makes things difficult. He is rather supportive of my choices and is excited that I have this amazing opportunity….but he refuses to move with me for a year.

So my question to you all: What are some things that you've done to cope with being apart for a year or two? Any suggestions on how to make this transition easier for significant others? Any real life experience with the residency/relationship mess that I'm about to find myself in? Just looking for some real life scenarios that will help put my nervous mind at ease. This whole apartment hunting thing has already thrown me on edge, haha!

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[rxlea]

My SO and I Skype a lot. We travel to see each other as much as possible. It's expensive but worth it.

 

[JinxRx]

I've been dating my significant other for almost 4 years now. He graduated a year ahead of me in pharmacy school and has pretty much been supporting my broke self for the last year while I do residency. He's not really on board the residency train like I am, so it makes things difficult. He is rather supportive of my choices and is excited that I have this amazing opportunity….but he refuses to move with me for a year.

So my question to you all: What are some things that you've done to cope with being apart for a year or two? Any suggestions on how to make this transition easier for significant others? Any real life experience with the residency/relationship mess that I'm about to find myself in? Just looking for some real life scenarios that will help put my nervous mind at ease. This whole apartment hunting thing has already thrown me on edge, haha!

If it helps, you're not alone! I've been dating my significant other for quite some time now - let's just leave it at > 10 years We went to high school together and undergrad. I had to move away for pharmacy school and then again for PGY-1. One of the big questions I guess is how far apart will you be? We've always been within 3 hours drive of each other. We've done our best to "take turns" making the drive for weekends and such...and talk on the phone/skype everyday. From what I can tell, most programs will keep you so busy that you'd find it would be hard to spend a lot of quality time with the person if you were actually living together (speaking on the experiences of my co-resident.) So, really, we see each other when we can and talk to each other everyday. Every relationship is going to be different I think. We've done well making it work - and my significant other has been supportive throughout the whole process. Relationships can be hard work sometimes, but hopefully it will be worth it!

 

[thephoenician88]

idk why people think residents are broke. You're making a decent wage compared to average in this country- manage your costs.

 

[KidPharmD]

idk why people think residents are broke. You're making a decent wage compared to average in this country- manage your costs.

I make less than the average income for both my state and the country as a resident. I make about 2/3 what it is for someone with a higher education degree, and almost 1/3 what I made as a retail pharmacist. I do all of this with more expenses in loan payments + mortgage than many have for everything. I do all of this without any assistance from the government (other than tax breaks for my income level).

We are not broke, but we are struggling even with eating a lot of macaroni and cheese or PB&J.

 

[Carboxide]

idk why people think residents are broke. You're making a decent wage compared to average in this country- manage your costs.

Because we have loans that are 5 to 6 times that salary. Every year I will be in residency, I will be going another 15k in the hole because of interest alone. Our loans nowadays are 7% interest with NO subsidized loans due to new federal laws. On top of this we work significantly more hours than the average professional and yet make significantly less.

 

[GoldfishPharmD]

I'm broke. Having to pay for conferences and interviews for PGY2s don't help.