Relationships in vet school

[SARdoghandler]

I agree with Sporty - communication is important! I did 1.5 years of long distance with my boyfriend (he went to australia!). But also keep in mind what communication things work for you. I almost never talked to him on the phone or face to face because long distance calling was hella expensive amd his internet was **** for skype and just made me frustrated at him. Instead, we messaged all the time basically every day about how our life was going. That worked for us - and actually made seeing each other in person again extra special because I hadn't heard his voice for 3-4 months at a time.

So don't get held up on one particular form of communication being better than another - just find something that works for you. And when you do get time to visit - set aside everything to really focus on that time. Appreciating each other is like 90% of the key to my relationship (and we've been together almost 10 years now... Holy). Also sometimes it's the little things. Neither of us ever missed an e card for birthdays and anniversaries and he sent me flowers a few times when I was having it rough. Showing that you think of each other is huge.

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[jaboo]

Yes! Firstly: it sucks

Yeah, I figured :/

He's also my first and only bf. We're best friends, too.

 

[SportPonies]

Yeah, I figured :/

He's also my first and only bf. We're best friends, too.

This was my exact situation going into vet school as well.

 

[britzen]

I second the communication being a regular thing in whatever way works for you.

We did a nightly phone call or Skype to talk about each others day. Really made it feel like we weren't out of the loop because we were up 100% on each others day to day lives.

Snapchat, text, or other chat services are great for keeping in contact throughout the day. We also did old school snail mail - letters and cards which can feel more special.

Hubs also sent me care packages while I was deployed. Favorite snacks plus lots of dollar store / $5 and below surprises or silly craft stuff he made for me. Maybe you can bake him things and send him surprise cookies? And ask if he'll put together some fun stuff for you when you know you're life is gonna suck (mid-terms, finals, etc)? It's always fun to get care packages! And I think it's a nice way to stay connected because you're taking some time every couple of weeks to plan out surprises for each other.

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[SkiOtter]

hubs cooks for me otherwise I eat a lot of noodles, but I enjoy baking and eating baked goods (edit: baked goods of normal/not gross texture)

I just don't appreciate the implication that just anyone can be us (no offense jboo)

Yes I too eat a lot of noodles
I’m glad we further are proving we are the same person

Jaboo can be our sister or twin then bc similar but not similar enough

 

[WildZoo]

While I'm here, any recommendations for long-term couples who are going LD for the first time? I'm especially worried bc we've been living together for a year and its great. Now I'll be living with a roommate (private rooms thankfully).

Did long distance for 4 years in undergrad and also during my first year of vet school. Our chosen mode of communication was text throughout the day, and then we'd have weekly Skype dates. That first year we did some letter writing too (first few months were probably the worst bit, and then it was rough again when I started vet school because we had been in the same city for a year). Random care packages are a great suggestion and just make sure that you aren't just talking at each other - that you're actually communicating, you know? It's rough but doable.

 

[Polocrosse2017]

As long am my gf and I make it (I hope so) we will be together first year of vet school (she'll be a Sr at the same school). Then she will be off to med school. We are hoping only a couple hours away but you never know. It won't be easy! We met the second week of school and studied together all the time. I think it helped us both (we both had 4.0s for the year!). So having a significant other can help!

 

[kaydubs]

But really the food is the most important part

This is why I love you so. You understand the important stuff

(or live off pasta 24/7)

Omg, you’re talking about my real life post vet school

It's always fun to get care packages!

Yes, all I seem to get is bills. Lame


Tl;dr/moral of story: I don’t recommend dating within your class.

(Kidding aside, I didn’t date in vet school cause I wasn’t planning to stay in MA (the irony gods are laughing at me this whole year). Then I didn’t date in my limbo time cause I was moving (cue more laughter), and here I am planning to move again (*headdesk*). If I were to base my decisions to date solely on timing (HA! I’m already doing that), I should embrace my life of solitude.

I was burned pretty well by long distance but I’ve seen it work for so many).

 

[14gsp93]

A little late to the party but I thought I’d put my input in! I heard horror stories of dating within your own class so I tried to stay away from that. I was warned by a fourth year friend coming in to Iowa that upper class men guys that are single like to go after first years because they’ve dated within their class and it’s been a nightmare. And boy she was right hahaha. I’m currently dating a guy a year ahead of me and it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. It’s nice to date someone who knows what you’re going through and respects the time you need to study. He’s even helpful and tries to point me in the right direction on what to focus on for studying so I don’t waste a ton of my time. If you can find the right person it’s a great experience because they will back you up and support you with what you’re going through (especially cause he has already been through it being a year ahead). And even though half of our time together is studying at a local coffee shop it’s not the worst way to spend time together and it makes school just a little less stressful haha

 

[Squeaksmom]

While I'm here, any recommendations for long-term couples who are going LD for the first time? I'm especially worried bc we've been living together for a year and its great. Now I'll be living with a roommate (private rooms thankfully).

Coming in late to echo what's already been said. Communicate! We're not as long distance as some couples, but when I'm at school hubby and kid are about 3 hours' highway time away from me and I live with roommates, and it's hard. It was a huge adjustment and the roommate thing isn't helped by me being a massive introvert! We chat on the phone every night even if it's just a 5 minute check in, and text a lot as well, and that plus the fact that we absolutely trust each other is what's keeping us going. I've talked to classmates who've said that their SOs would never stand for that and always be suspicious, and I can't even imagine a relationship surviving that plus the stress of vet school. I'm not going to tell you it's easy, but for us it's worth it so we find a way to make it work.

 

[cdo96]

But really the food is the most important part

I know of at least one other thing that’s stress relieving that SO’s are good for.

 

[battie]

I know of at least one other thing that’s stress relieving that SO’s are good for.

Ice cream dates!!!!

 

[WildZoo]

I know of at least one other thing that’s stress relieving that SO’s are good for.

Ice cream dates!!!!

*snirk*

 

[RedLauren]

I know of at least one other thing that’s stress relieving that SO’s are good for.

Excercising together

 

[battie]

Excercising together

Some cardio. Some flexibility. Some balancing.

You must be talking about pilates.

 

[hygebeorht]

Re: dating within your class, YMMV. We had a few ****shows develop, but several couples got married to each other and were nauseatingly adorable.

Re: long-distance and relationships in vet school, YMMV. My dude and I have been together 11 years and have spent 2 years apart. We don't talk every day. But we know we are there for each other. Without him I would have really struggled in vet school - he brought me food, supported me emotionally, and helped me with all the everyday **** that becomes harder to do as a vet student. But not every relationship makes it out of vet school.

But, that's life. Vet school or not, relationships last or fade and that's just how it is.

 

[SocialStigma]

While I'm here, any recommendations for long-term couples who are going LD for the first time? I'm especially worried bc we've been living together for a year and its great. Now I'll be living with a roommate (private rooms thankfully).

I've been long distance (currently 8 hours apart) with my boyfriend for the majority of our relationship. The only time that we lived in the same city was the first 6 months of our relationship. We met between my 1st and 2nd years of vet school and are coming up on 6 years together now. It's definitely doable with the right person. We talk on the phone every night unless one of us is out. I go to bed way earlier so often I'll just text him good night and go to sleep if he's at a bar/party. Communication and trust are key..this long distance relationship has been easier and less stressful than any of my previous non-LD relationships because he makes it that way.

 

[cheathac]

This thread is great. I have been in a new relationship for about 7 weeks now. He lives about 50 min away so not bad at all and we hope to continue to see each other at least once a week when school starts since he will be working full time and going to school part time. I think it will be good beause dating someone at school I feel like I would be pressured to see them every day when I need some time to study. It's an interracial relationship and I was scared to tell my parents since I wasn't sure how they'd react. I told my dad and so far he's taking it pretty well. Asked a few questions. Hasn't offered to meet him yet but just glad I wasn't threatened to stop talking to him. My parents have done that previously.. they threatened to stop paying for school and I had no choice but thankfully that isn't an issue at the moment.

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

This thread is great. I have been in a new relationship for about 7 weeks now. He lives about 50 min away so not bad at all and we hope to continue to see each other at least once a week when school starts since he will be working full time and going to school part time. I think it will be good beause dating someone at school I feel like I would be pressured to see them every day when I need some time to study. It's an interracial relationship and I was scared to tell my parents since I wasn't sure how they'd react. I told my dad and so far he's taking it pretty well. Asked a few questions. Hasn't offered to meet him yet but just glad I wasn't threatened to stop talking to him. My parents have done that previously.. they threatened to stop paying for school and I had no choice but thankfully that isn't an issue at the moment.

Wow...that sucks cheathac. Sorry you have to deal with that.

You should tell them he's also trans. And Jewish. And wants you to move to California with him to grow weed. Watch their heads implode.

(and then post video for our entertainment)

 

[cheathac]

Wow...that sucks cheathac. Sorry you have to deal with that.

You should tell them he's also trans. And Jewish. And wants you to move to California with him to grow weed. Watch their heads implode.

(and then post video for our entertainment)

I know they only want the best for me and I get that but IMO you can't judge someone before even meeting them. I feel odd because I'm kind of the "black sheep" if you will when it comes to this sort of thing but I can't help who I like. I just want to be treated well. He is from a different country but is very independent (works full time job, going back to school in the fall). He treats me so amazingly. I just hope my parents don't just think he's with me only for a green card. He's not looking to get married until after he's finished with school and he makes such an effort by driving to my place a couple times a week and making sure I'm taken care of. I just hope the constant thought of him wanting a green card doesn't come up with my parents.