Sample essay

[OATAcer]

Hi All,

Does anyone on here have their optometry school essay as a sample that I can take a look at? I'd like to take a look at it's structure/format but I will use my own ideas.

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[love4eyes]

Hello OATAcer,

Are you referring to the Essay for OptomCAS? Honestly, those are very Personal. Everyone will have their own STYLE and VOICE to the essay. I would suggest going to a workshop at your local school or visit http://www.unm.edu/~pre/law/archuleta.htm

On the site I gave you, focus on the "Questions." Maybe from that, you'll have two or three points that you're able to elaborate on (having the ability to write 1-2 paragraph for each point). Please, do focus on an "overall theme" for your essay though (ex: Growth, Leadership, etc) and stick with that. I know it'll be tempting to talk about ALL your experiences during your undergrad (ie: accomplishment, extra-curricular) ;however, you must stick to one theme so that the essay goes to a great direction (correlated to optometry).

Personally, that essay was a process. Ideally, it takes a month or two to do (rough drafts, MULTIPLE peer reviews, and a final). Come on, I know you've taken English Composition 1 and 2. Right? Those classes really prepare you for such task. Best wishes to you!

 

[OATAcer]

Yes, I know, yet I am asking for a sample so that I can get a good picture of an accepted students personal essay, thank you though.

 

[OATAcer]

Yes, I know, yet I am asking for a sample so that I can get a good picture of an accepted students personal essay, thank you though.

Hello OATAcer,

Are you referring to the Essay for OptomCAS? Honestly, those are very Personal. Everyone will have their own STYLE and VOICE to the essay. I would suggest going to a workshop at your local school or visit http://www.unm.edu/~pre/law/archuleta.htm

On the site I gave you, focus on the "Questions." Maybe from that, you'll have two or three points that you're able to elaborate on (having the ability to write 1-2 paragraph for each point). Please, do focus on an "overall theme" for your essay though (ex: Growth, Leadership, etc) and stick with that. I know it'll be tempting to talk about ALL your experiences during your undergrad (ie: accomplishment, extra-curricular) ;however, you must stick to one theme so that the essay goes to a great direction (correlated to optometry).

Personally, that essay was a process. Ideally, it takes a month or two to do (rough drafts, MULTIPLE peer reviews, and a final). Come on, I know you've taken English Composition 1 and 2. Right? Those classes really prepare you for such task. Best wishes to you!

 

[love4eyes]

Yes, I know, yet I am asking for a sample so that I can get a good picture of an accepted students personal essay, thank you though.

Your welcome. I hope someone is willing and is convince to share it to you. Have an awesome night.

 

[eyegirl89]

No one is going to give you their essay. Knowing you (from the questions you ask) you'd probably copy and paste it as your own.

 

[VballTL16]

No one is going to give you their essay. Knowing you (from the questions you ask) you'd probably copy and paste it as your own.

Discrete, a bit blunt there. Although, honesty is the best policy.

 

[OATAcer]

Thank you for judging based on a forum. Thanks for your help. Have a good one!

No one is going to give you their essay. Knowing you (from the questions you ask) you'd probably copy and paste it as your own.

 

[robotcat123]

You need to write your own. There's no structure, just write and answer the question that OptomCAS ask, which is to explain why you want to be an optometrist and the steps you've taken to get there and future plans, etc. Don't get pass the 4500 characters though. It took me like multiple drafts and a couple of months to complete b/c its you explaining your character and goals, etc. So, no one is going to give you any ideas b/c its a PERSONAL statement, so it has to be genuine and convey how you feel. The reader will know if you lie (made-up) your essay during the interview if you can't back up or answer any question.

 

[eyegirl89]

Thank you for judging based on a forum. Thanks for your help. Have a good one!

Hard not to judge when you can't figure out anything in the application process on your own

 

[VballTL16]

You need to write your own. There's no structure, just write and answer the question that OptomCAS ask, which is to explain why you want to be an optometrist and the steps you've taken to get there and future plans, etc. Don't get pass the 4500 characters though. It took me like multiple drafts and a couple of months to complete b/c its you explaining your character and goals, etc. So, no one is going to give you any ideas b/c its a PERSONAL statement, so it has to be genuine and convey how you feel. The reader will know if you lie (made-up) your essay during the interview if you can't back up or answer any question.

I agree, the essay is suppose to go through your personal experience. So each person's essay will be different. However, what i would add is that if you dont know how to start it.. go in order (time). start with your first exposure to the field till now

 

[optoapp2012]

I agree, the essay is suppose to go through your personal experience. So each person's essay will be different. However, what i would add is that if you dont know how to start it.. go in order (time). start with your first exposure to the field till now

My advice is to tell a memorable story. There will be a lot of essays that simply rehash things that are already present in the rest of the application - listing shadowing experience, job experience, etc. A more memorable essay will be one that is unique.

Good stories to tell would be: a particular incident or experience that sparked your interest in optometry (like if you had vision issues as a kid, witnessed someone with vision issues, or saw an OD in action) or a particularly inspiring experience you had while shadowing or doing something optometry-related. Use that story as your outline for your essay. Then use that story to also highlight things like your experience in optometry (and make sure you are shedding more light on it than just listing it, like you are already doing elsewhere in your app), your motivations to pursue the field, how you see yourself 10 years from now, etc.

If you still aren't sure where to start, head to your local library and check out a book on writing personal statements. There are LOTS out there. I used one to give me some ideas on what types of things to address. They also usually have sample essays others wrote for things like med school, business school, etc. Although to support what everyone else has said, reading those will make you realize how unique that person's experiences and essay are and how it will not really mirror the way you write yours. But they will still show you various ways to employ the ideas talked about in the books.

Good luck!

 

[OATAcer]

Yes, I know, yet I am asking for a sample so that I can get a good picture of an accepted students personal essay, thank you though.

You need to write your own. There's no structure, just write and answer the question that OptomCAS ask, which is to explain why you want to be an optometrist and the steps you've taken to get there and future plans, etc. Don't get pass the 4500 characters though. It took me like multiple drafts and a couple of months to complete b/c its you explaining your character and goals, etc. So, no one is going to give you any ideas b/c its a PERSONAL statement, so it has to be genuine and convey how you feel. The reader will know if you lie (made-up) your essay during the interview if you can't back up or answer any question.

 

[OATAcer]

Thank you so much for the tips! Your such a nice person here, and an understandable person. I wish you the best

My advice is to tell a memorable story. There will be a lot of essays that simply rehash things that are already present in the rest of the application - listing shadowing experience, job experience, etc. A more memorable essay will be one that is unique.

Good stories to tell would be: a particular incident or experience that sparked your interest in optometry (like if you had vision issues as a kid, witnessed someone with vision issues, or saw an OD in action) or a particularly inspiring experience you had while shadowing or doing something optometry-related. Use that story as your outline for your essay. Then use that story to also highlight things like your experience in optometry (and make sure you are shedding more light on it than just listing it, like you are already doing elsewhere in your app), your motivations to pursue the field, how you see yourself 10 years from now, etc.

If you still aren't sure where to start, head to your local library and check out a book on writing personal statements. There are LOTS out there. I used one to give me some ideas on what types of things to address. They also usually have sample essays others wrote for things like med school, business school, etc. Although to support what everyone else has said, reading those will make you realize how unique that person's experiences and essay are and how it will not really mirror the way you write yours. But they will still show you various ways to employ the ideas talked about in the books.

Good luck!

 

[OATAcer]

I know, thank you though.

I agree, the essay is suppose to go through your personal experience. So each person's essay will be different. However, what i would add is that if you dont know how to start it.. go in order (time). start with your first exposure to the field till now

 

[love4eyes]

Yes, I know, yet I am asking for a sample so that I can get a good picture of an accepted students personal essay, thank you though.

Being that this is a public domain, it will be unlikely people will share. As we have expressed, those are really "Personal." Often, only our group of friends or professors sees it before being sent to OptomCAS. (Who knows what a stranger can do to those information)

Just a suggestion, maybe you have circle of friends (that are currently pre-professional- dentist, pharmacy, optometrist, medicine, etc) who are currently or finished with their online application. Maybe they're more willing to share. You may approach them and see how they constructed it. I remember having to read multiple Personal Statement from my friends and help them with ideas. Let me tell you, all of them have different take on those essays. Some will utilize anecdote stories, more on academics, extra-curricular, etc and it's truly uniquely them.

Starts free writing and hopefully you'll have enough points to construct your essay. Then, let your friends see it. Be prepare for MULTIPLE drafts. But at the end, you'll appreciate it. Have an awesome night!

 

[Obadaden]

I am dumbfounded that you are asking complete strangers to share with you their personal essays as a "sample". Quit over-thinking every aspect of the OptomCAS application and just do what it says.

Please describe what inspires your decision for becoming an optometrist, including your preparation for training in this profession, your aptitude and motivation, the basis for your interest in optometry, and your future career goals

in 4500 characters or less.

Honestly, most middle schoolers could figure out how to "structure" such an essay. I honestly find it difficult to comprehend how somebody applying to professional school can be so utterly clueless. After reading several of your other (mindless) posts, I am almost tempted to believe you are simply a troll with too much free time on your hands. However, if you really are just that clueless, here are some free pointers on how to structure your essay:
-cover what it asks you to cover
-go chronologically
-be honest
-have a strong intro and ending
-avoid spelling/grammatical errors

 

[OATAcer]

Thank you for your opinion. Have a nice day!

I am dumbfounded that you are asking complete strangers to share with you their personal essays as a "sample". Quit over-thinking every aspect of the OptomCAS application and just do what it says.

in 4500 characters or less.

Honestly, most middle schoolers could figure out how to "structure" such an essay. I honestly find it difficult to comprehend how somebody applying to professional school can be so utterly clueless. After reading several of your other (mindless) posts, I am almost tempted to believe you are simply a troll with too much free time on your hands. However, if you really are just that clueless, here are some free pointers on how to structure your essay:
-cover what it asks you to cover
-go chronologically
-be honest
-have a strong intro and ending
-avoid spelling/grammatical errors