Secondary essays; Too creative? Too stiff?

[openstage]

I haven’t posted in a while so I thought I’d throw this question out and see what people think. When writing your secondary essays has anyone found themselves to be too stiff and factual? I suppose the word and character limits are a good thing, but they do impact your sense of style and vocabulary choice at times. It’s hard to share insights and reflection when most of your space describes the event or situation. In an effort to be efficient and to the point, sometimes I see my responses as fairly lifeless and technical. Has anyone else ever had that impression?

On the flipside what are some pitfalls that applicants stumble into by trying too hard to make an impression, to be noticed, clever or witty, sentimental and mawkish ? I’d love to hear from some senior members and Adcom what types of responses nauseate you.

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[deleted972488]

I think you're overthinking it.

 

[Bonne Nuit]

I relate. Writing my PS was a comparative breeze to some of these secondaries. I consider myself a fairly capable writer, but it's a struggle to sound authentic and not like a pre-med robot when you're given only 150-200 words to discuss a meaningful experience. I'd also be interested to hear what others thought about their secondary writing process.

 

[Cheeezcake]

I had the same question. I try to squeeze as much juice into it as i can, while keeping it passionate and true to my actual self

 

[helpmeout441]

I just make sure I'm answer the question and writing clear and concise. I use simpler vocabulary and overall it's more plain compared to my personal statement. I figure that adcoms already have so much stuff to read and I think with secondaries they basically just have to be not memorably bad lol.

 

[Moko]

Personally, I prefer to-the-point and matter-of-fact responses over the ones that try to woo me with literary skills. Using a thesaurus does not make someone appear smarter. Chaining on adjective after adjective similarly does not help. It simply increases the likelihood that I gloss over the things that are important. Applicants should let their actions and the substance of their thoughts speak for themselves. These are applications to medical school and not a humanities essay.

I also value people who are genuine, humble, tactful, and capable of being vulnerable (often ties hand-in-hand with introspection). People who appear to be emotionally manipulative with their stories**, those who avoid answering the prompts, or are being different for the sake of being different, all get low marks from me.

** There is a major difference between sharing a personal story vs being emotionally manipulative / a tear-jerker!

 

[993444]

Emotionally manipulative with their stories

Would you mind explaining what this means exactly?

 

[Bonne Nuit]

I just make sure I'm answer the question and writing clear and concise. I use simpler vocabulary and overall it's more plain compared to my personal statement. I figure that adcoms already have so much stuff to read and I think with secondaries they basically just have to be not memorably bad lol.

This is what I find so challenging: the "good enough" response. I logically know that I should just answer the prompt as fully and clearly as I can, that turning it over and over in my mind isn't a good use of my energy. But it's so hard; I don't know anyone in my personal life who is applying this cycle or has matriculated in recent years. I don't have anyone to give me a good sanity check about this process (other than you kind folks on SDN). I have to fight the feeling of "if it isn't perfect, I'm going to be rejected."

My husband has been helping me with my writing - he does a lot of writing in his career, and he's got some talent for it. I thought this would really help... except he's now getting wrapped around the axle with me! Seriously, it's foile a deux in my household. We spent an hour wordsmithing a short paragraph in a boring secondary last night. It didn't improve the essay, and we just got irritated with each other. It's crazymaking.

I was neurotic before I was a pre-med, and I guess I'm a neurotic pre-med today - except now I'm old enough to know better .

Anyway, I thought this NYT article was especially timely: It’s Never Going to Be Perfect, So Just Get It Done. I've been coming back to this piece at least once per day since it was published. It's helping, a little.

 

[Moko]

Would you mind explaining what this means exactly?

For example, in a challenge or adversity essay when discussing overcoming one's stage fright:

Matter-of-fact:
It was my first performance in front of a live audience. I was very nervous and ultimately was unable to finish my performance.

Emotional rollercoaster:
[My] palms [were] sweaty, knees weak, arms [were] heavy
There [was] vomit on [my] sweater already, mom's spaghetti
[I'm] nervous, but on the surface [I looked] calm and ready
To drop bombs, but [I kept] on forgettin'
What [ I] wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
opened [my] mouth, but the words won't come out
[I'm] chokin', how, everybody's jokin' now
The clocks run out, times up, over, blaow!

The number of beads of sweat, the sensation of heaviness, facial reactions, the presence of vomit and other food items, etc. doesn't add much when talking about this topic.

For more emotionally charged topics (e.g family deaths, being the caregiver, substance abuse, etc), there are many ways to get the same points across without painting a picture of the hospital room, how tightly hands were clasped, the number of tears shed, presence of track marks, needing to clean up feces and urine, etc. Sometimes these details give me the impression that they were included with the goal of evoking an emotional response from me. Almost always these descriptive pieces can be succinctly summarized in a more factual way without compromising on the emotional aspect of the experience.

 

[suomi24]

Personally, I prefer to-the-point and matter-of-fact responses over the ones that try to woo me with literary skills. Using a thesaurus does not make someone appear smarter. Chaining on adjective after adjective similarly does not help. It simply increases the likelihood that I gloss over the things that are important. Applicants should let their actions and the substance of their thoughts speak for themselves. These are applications to medical school and not a humanities essay.

I also value people who are genuine, humble, tactful, and capable of being vulnerable (often ties hand-in-hand with introspection). People who appear to be emotionally manipulative with their stories**, those who avoid answering the prompts, or are being different for the sake of being different, all get low marks from me.

** There is a major difference between sharing a personal story vs being emotionally manipulative / a tear-jerker!

To the point of letting stories speak for themselves, do you feel like it is helpful to include words from the school’s mission and values in responses, or should I just let the story show how I exhibit that certain trait?

Or do I not worry about mission and values of the particular school, and just answer the prompt?

 

[Moko]

To the point of letting stories speak for themselves, do you feel like it is helpful to include words from the school’s mission and values in responses, or should I just let the story show how I exhibit that certain trait? Or do I not worry about mission and values of the particular school, and just answer the prompt?

The response should answer both the prompt and address at least some of the school's values. Here's the thing though, all schools want students who are genuine, mature, introspective, resilient, teachable, who can add something to the class, etc. Our missions are fairly similar in these respects.

 

[907914]

do you feel like it is helpful to include words from the school’s mission and values in responses

I have taken the approach that using words from their missions/values comes off as corny. It seems to make my essays work.

 

[helpmeout441]

To the point of letting stories speak for themselves, do you feel like it is helpful to include words from the school’s mission and values in responses, or should I just let the story show how I exhibit that certain trait?

Or do I not worry about mission and values of the particular school, and just answer the prompt?

All of the schools I'm applying to have basically the same goals which are research, diversity, creating leaders in medicine, teaching. All of my answers address at least some of these topics. I'm not really taking each school's mission statement and inserting it into my essay.