WalterSobchakk said:
It really depends on the home. My great aunt moved in a few months ago, and she's having the time of her life. at 76, she's the second-youngest in the place and is getting all the attention
There's so much socialization there, it's like she's back in middle school again. It's nearby the rest of my family so they can visit whenever they want. They take care of everything she needs - cooking, cleaning, they'll come in and hang pictures for her...you name it. Homes aren't all like the stereotype.
Agreed. There is a LOT of variation in quality. I think a lot of the horror stories we hear result from families not taking the time to find a good, reputable facility, not being willing to pay for this kind of facility, and not visiting, basically dumping their loved ones somewhere. Even in the same home, you will find that some people are in a better situation than others because their relatives provide different levels of attention. I think a lot of people who say they would never put a relative in a nursing home haven't had to deal with a relative who needed such high levels of nursing care. I have had three grandparents in nursing homes, and my maternal grandmother had home care and hospice before she went into the nursing home, so I am willing to admit that there are some situations in which it should be considered. My grandfather, for instance, threatened to kill people when he was sick. He also needed a lot of medical attention. My grandmother would have had to hire round-the-clock nurses as well as security guards in order to have him stay at home. My grandmother was a very private person, and she probably wouldn't have felt comfortable having all of these people in her home. As I have already mentioned, this same grandmother was abandoned by the woman who was supposed to care for her in her home. After she got really sick and stayed in hospice for a while (which, by the way, is an excellent alternative for those who are terminally ill and rapidly declining), she did not
want to go back to her home. Even if the person who cares for you does their job right, there can be a lot of tension from having someone employed in your home, caring for you all the time - they get stressed out, you feel like they're invading your home, messing around with things, etc. And if you are very sick and require a lot of nursing care, sometimes it's nearly impossible for one or a few people to handle, and also if there's an emergency you're depending on one person to handle it, and that can be frightening. As for having family members take care of you, some people are just not comfortable with their children taking care of them. I know my grandmother wasn't. Like I said, she was a very private, dignified person and she felt embarassed when her children and grandchildren saw her get sick or had to take care of her.
Anyway, this is not always as simple as it sounds. I would like to avoid sending my parents to a nursing home, but if worse came to worse, I would consider it.
