Sexist Interviewer, and other concerns

[MtnImpossible]

Several weeks ago, I had a really strange interview day. My first interview of the day went really well. She asked me very relevant questions, complimented me on answers, and said that she "had a lot of fun talking to me." I was feeling pretty good.

My second and last interview of the day did not go as well. He was the former dean of admissions (stepped down over 10 years ago) and looked to be at least 80 years old. In this 30 minute interview, we talked about my family for about 10 minutes. After all this, he then asked about my grandparents, which I thought was a tad strange after all the family talk, but I shared some information about how they came here from Italy, and how that's affected my family. After all this, he asked, "If I asked you to sit on your hands, do you think you'd still be able to speak?" I played this off as best as I could, laughed, and said that must be the Italian in me.

He then proceeded to say that he had to ask me one of a list of questions. "Oh, this one will be good for you: Imagine that your patient of many years asks you out on a date. What do you do?" I was a little thrown off by his very direct opening. I answered as best as I could, saying that I would politely decline, and maintain professionalism while keeping the patient comfortable.

After this, he asked, "Is there some sort of question that I haven't asked that you thought I might ask, like 'Why Medicine?'" I might have blushed a little here. I answered politely that there was nothing I came in expecting, and asked if there was anything he would like me to discuss further. He answered a simple "No." (I can't figure this out. I honestly don't believe that I came off as rude during this interview.)

When it came time for me to ask questions, I said, "There seems to be a very collaborative environment here. Is this something that X school fosters, or is it a happy coincidence?" His answer:

"Well the saying goes that birds of a feather flock together, and one day you'll meet a man and you'll know exactly what I meant by that."

Result: Waitlisted.


tl;dr I am a 23 yo female who recently interviewed with a sexist old man. How should I handle such situations in my upcoming interviews and not hurt my chances despite the opinions/background of my interviewer?

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[ReggieNoble22]

Is this really considered sexist?

I think he was just stating that people hang out with other people that are like themselves (go to school with people similar to themselves, date people similar to themselves, etc.).

 

[ScentOfPeace]

I think you misinterpreted what he was saying. Your interview doesn't have to be about medicine. Some interviewers just want to chat and see what you are like.

 

[NoDakDok]

Where did you ever get the belief that an interview was only about your interest in medicine? And when he gave you the opportunity to talk about medicine, you declined.

Maybe you got wait listed based on the fact you were offended because an old man expressed family values that may not be in line with your own, rather than because the old man was a misogynist.

Even from your own perspective, it seems you're projecting blame.

 

[WillburCobb]

This is sexist.

What your interviewer did is not.

 

[TheLionheart]

I agree with the above--I'm not seeing any sexism in the comment, or the conversation in general. Unless you're counting his assumption that you, as a female, would be interested in 'meeting a man' at some point.

 

[MajorBubblez]

lol people can be so touchy. jeez louise.

 

[NontradCA]

Cool your jets.

 

[MtnImpossible]

Hi all, I appreciate the humor and the feedback. I guess I'm surprised that in one of the most professional settings of my life that someone would "tease" me about talking with my hands, and assume I'm both single and straight, among other things.

I agree with the above--I'm not seeing any sexism in the comment, or the conversation in general. Unless you're counting his assumption that you, as a female, would be interested in 'meeting a man' at some point.

Yes, this is the part that I was surprised at.

Thanks for putting things in perspective, everyone. Going to try to expect the unexpected in the future!

 

[samsunimomo]

The problem is that the time to have made a comment about this conversation (which, let's be honest, was iffy in the part of the interviewer) was immediately after the interview, not after decisions have been released. Your interviewer, considering his advanced age, is probably not cognizant of what is currently culturally inappropriate to say, and despite his previous position the director of admissions, would probably not be the best individual to represent the school for a subset of applicants. Alerting the admissions office of your concerns soon after the interview would be the best course of action, if something like this happens again.

 

[Goro]

Ahhh, I see the now classic Millenial thin skin on parade here. I have students who are like this and I swear, light passes right through them.

No, the old man wasn't sexist. The question about the patient wanting to date you is a classic interview question to see if you have any inkling of the boundaries between doctor and patient.

The "birds of a feather" comment is, at worst, old fashioned.

Here's sexist for you:
Why are pursuing a career in Medicine when you should be at home taking care of babies?
Are you a poor driver?
You must be poor at math
Why are you entering a career that's traditionally a Man's career?
You should be a nurse, not a doctor.
Wow! What a great figure you have! Nice cans.

Here's real sexism in action: In the mid 1960s, after my father died, my mom took over his sales job. She was deliberately paid less in salary. Why? Because she was a woman.

That's sexism. Just because something offends you, or hurts your feelings, doesn't mean it's sexist, or any other ___ist or ___ism. So develop a thicker skin or residency directors and attendings will eat you alive.

And lastly, just because the first interviewer was polite, doesn't mean she wasn't the one who dinged you.

Several weeks ago, I had a really strange interview day. My first interview of the day went really well. She asked me very relevant questions, complimented me on answers, and said that she "had a lot of fun talking to me." I was feeling pretty good.

My second and last interview of the day did not go as well. He was the former dean of admissions (stepped down over 10 years ago) and looked to be at least 80 years old. In this 30 minute interview, we talked about my family for about 10 minutes. After all this, he then asked about my grandparents, which I thought was a tad strange after all the family talk, but I shared some information about how they came here from Italy, and how that's affected my family. After all this, he asked, "If I asked you to sit on your hands, do you think you'd still be able to speak?" I played this off as best as I could, laughed, and said that must be the Italian in me.

He then proceeded to say that he had to ask me one of a list of questions. "Oh, this one will be good for you: Imagine that your patient of many years asks you out on a date. What do you do?" I was a little thrown off by his very direct opening. I answered as best as I could, saying that I would politely decline, and maintain professionalism while keeping the patient comfortable.

After this, he asked, "Is there some sort of question that I haven't asked that you thought I might ask, like 'Why Medicine?'" I might have blushed a little here. I answered politely that there was nothing I came in expecting, and asked if there was anything he would like me to discuss further. He answered a simple "No." (I can't figure this out. I honestly don't believe that I came off as rude during this interview.)

When it came time for me to ask questions, I said, "There seems to be a very collaborative environment here. Is this something that X school fosters, or is it a happy coincidence?" His answer:

"Well the saying goes that birds of a feather flock together, and one day you'll meet a man and you'll know exactly what I meant by that."

Result: Waitlisted.


tl;dr I am a 23 yo female who recently interviewed with a sexist old man. How should I handle such situations in my upcoming interviews and not hurt my chances despite the opinions/background of my interviewer?

 

[NoDakDok]

Just because something offends you, or hurts your feelings, doesn't mean it's sexist, or any other ___ist or ___ism. So develop a thicker skin or residency directors and attendings will eat you alive.

It's sad how few people understand this, even at a professional level. For all the sensitivity training there is out there for people who are sexist and racist, where is all the desensitivity training for the people who get upset because someone made them feel slightly uncomfortable?

And lastly, just because the first interviewer was polite, doesn't mean she wasn't the one who dinged you.

Also sad how few people understand this. I have literally been told by interviewers they're "...excited to see you here next fall." Yet I ended up low priority on their wait list.

Even if your interviewer isn't being disingenuous to make the interview seem less stressful and really is giving you a glowing review, it's still only a piece of a much larger puzzle in which you have to fit all the correct pieces.

 

[sliceofbread136]

Sounds like the interviewer was basically begging for you to sell yourself as an applicant and you just missed your chance. I really think you should prepare a little bit more for your future interviews. I'd advise to read this book

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-medical-school-interview-jeremiah-fleenor/1103721677?cm_mmc=google product search-_-q000000633-_-9780977955947pla-_-book_25to44-_-q000000633-_-9780977955947&ean=9780977955947&isbn=9780977955947&kpid=9780977955947&r=1

 

[Ad2b]

I am a 23 yo female who recently interviewed with a sexist
old man.

He wasn't sexist at all. His comment about birds flocking together was a joke. Learn to like them, they make life easier

 

[SouthernSurgeon]

Hi all, I appreciate the humor and the feedback. I guess I'm surprised that in one of the most professional settings of my life that someone would "tease" me about talking with my hands, and assume I'm both single and straight, among other things.

How have you reached this age and not had someone bring up the absolutely most common and least offensive stereotype about Italian people being hand talkers?

Would you have gotten offended if he assumed your mom was a good cook?

 

[NickNaylor]

Several weeks ago, I had a really strange interview day. My first interview of the day went really well. She asked me very relevant questions, complimented me on answers, and said that she "had a lot of fun talking to me." I was feeling pretty good.

My second and last interview of the day did not go as well. He was the former dean of admissions (stepped down over 10 years ago) and looked to be at least 80 years old. In this 30 minute interview, we talked about my family for about 10 minutes. After all this, he then asked about my grandparents, which I thought was a tad strange after all the family talk, but I shared some information about how they came here from Italy, and how that's affected my family. After all this, he asked, "If I asked you to sit on your hands, do you think you'd still be able to speak?" I played this off as best as I could, laughed, and said that must be the Italian in me.

He then proceeded to say that he had to ask me one of a list of questions. "Oh, this one will be good for you: Imagine that your patient of many years asks you out on a date. What do you do?" I was a little thrown off by his very direct opening. I answered as best as I could, saying that I would politely decline, and maintain professionalism while keeping the patient comfortable.

After this, he asked, "Is there some sort of question that I haven't asked that you thought I might ask, like 'Why Medicine?'" I might have blushed a little here. I answered politely that there was nothing I came in expecting, and asked if there was anything he would like me to discuss further. He answered a simple "No." (I can't figure this out. I honestly don't believe that I came off as rude during this interview.)

When it came time for me to ask questions, I said, "There seems to be a very collaborative environment here. Is this something that X school fosters, or is it a happy coincidence?" His answer:

"Well the saying goes that birds of a feather flock together, and one day you'll meet a man and you'll know exactly what I meant by that."

Result: Waitlisted.


tl;dr I am a 23 yo female who recently interviewed with a sexist old man. How should I handle such situations in my upcoming interviews and not hurt my chances despite the opinions/background of my interviewer?

I can't believe you actually thought this was sexist. This was an entirely benign interaction.

 

[mimelim]

I can't believe you actually thought this was sexist. This was an entirely benign interaction.

Other than the OP being an ageist and assuming that because the interviewer is older, he is unable to interview people without being sexist.

 

[ski89]

Hi all, I appreciate the humor and the feedback. I guess I'm surprised that in one of the most professional settings of my life that someone would "tease" me about talking with my hands, and assume I'm both single and straight, among other things.

Is it wrong to assume someone is straight? I think it's only roughly 3% of the population that is gay.

Anyway, it could also be that this interviewer was intentionally trying to take you off track to see if you would redirect the conversation. Do you have more interviews ahead? Now you are all the more prepared to handle the unexpected. Good luck.

 

[WillburCobb]

 

[aprimenumber]

I'm sure OP gets the point now. We're just repeating ourselves.

 

[DoctorSynthesis]

Hi all, I appreciate the humor and the feedback. I guess I'm surprised that in one of the most professional settings of my life that someone would "tease" me about talking with my hands, and assume I'm both single and straight, among other things.



Yes, this is the part that I was surprised at.

Thanks for putting things in perspective, everyone. Going to try to expect the unexpected in the future!

Is it wrong to assume someone is straight? I think it's only roughly 3% of the population that is gay.

Anyway, it could also be that this interviewer was intentionally trying to take you off track to see if you would redirect the conversation. Do you have more interviews ahead? Now you are all the more prepared to handle the unexpected. Good luck.

No its not wrong to assume people are straight. Its only wrong to refer to someone as straight if you knew they weren't.

Ahhh, I see the now classic Millenial thin skin on parade here. I have students who are like this and I swear, light passes right through them.

No, the old man wasn't sexist. The question about the patient wanting to date you is a classic interview question to see if you have any inkling of the boundaries between doctor and patient.

The "birds of a feather" comment is, at worst, old fashioned.

Here's sexist for you:
Why are pursuing a career in Medicine when you should be at home taking care of babies?
Are you a poor driver?
You must be poor at math
Why are you entering a career that's traditionally a Man's career?
You should be a nurse, not a doctor.
Wow! What a great figure you have! Nice cans.

Here's real sexism in action: In the mid 1960s, after my father died, my mom took over his sales job. She was deliberately paid less in salary. Why? Because she was a woman.

That's sexism. Just because something offends you, or hurts your feelings, doesn't mean it's sexist, or any other ___ist or ___ism. So develop a thicker skin or residency directors and attendings will eat you alive.

And lastly, just because the first interviewer was polite, doesn't mean she wasn't the one who dinged you.

The baby boomers did raise the millenials goro

 

[Holmwood]

Several weeks ago, I had a really strange interview day. My first interview of the day went really well. She asked me very relevant questions, complimented me on answers, and said that she "had a lot of fun talking to me." I was feeling pretty good.

My second and last interview of the day did not go as well. He was the former dean of admissions (stepped down over 10 years ago) and looked to be at least 80 years old. In this 30 minute interview, we talked about my family for about 10 minutes. After all this, he then asked about my grandparents, which I thought was a tad strange after all the family talk, but I shared some information about how they came here from Italy, and how that's affected my family. After all this, he asked, "If I asked you to sit on your hands, do you think you'd still be able to speak?" I played this off as best as I could, laughed, and said that must be the Italian in me.

He then proceeded to say that he had to ask me one of a list of questions. "Oh, this one will be good for you: Imagine that your patient of many years asks you out on a date. What do you do?" I was a little thrown off by his very direct opening. I answered as best as I could, saying that I would politely decline, and maintain professionalism while keeping the patient comfortable.

After this, he asked, "Is there some sort of question that I haven't asked that you thought I might ask, like 'Why Medicine?'" I might have blushed a little here. I answered politely that there was nothing I came in expecting, and asked if there was anything he would like me to discuss further. He answered a simple "No." (I can't figure this out. I honestly don't believe that I came off as rude during this interview.)

When it came time for me to ask questions, I said, "There seems to be a very collaborative environment here. Is this something that X school fosters, or is it a happy coincidence?" His answer:

"Well the saying goes that birds of a feather flock together, and one day you'll meet a man and you'll know exactly what I meant by that."

Result: Waitlisted.


tl;dr I am a 23 yo female who recently interviewed with a sexist old man. How should I handle such situations in my upcoming interviews and not hurt my chances despite the opinions/background of my interviewer?

I don't consider this sexist either.

Then again, even if it was sexist, you'll be in these situation in the future. When patients start telling you ( the doctor) "Nurse, get me the doctor please", you can't be reacting the way you are reacting now. Such individuals were just raised in a different environment. People have no control over where they are raised, and you should be receptive to that.

Even still, the interview seemed to end well as the interviewer didn't sound pissed. He even sounded amused (albeit, at your expense, lol). He probably didn't need to drill you on your reasons for choosing medicine as you already made it very clear in your personal statement.

Best of luck to you. : )

 

[deleted480308]

But really, can you speak while sitting on your hands?

 

[PreMed015]

Is it wrong to assume someone is straight? I think it's only roughly 3% of the population that is gay.

Anyway, it could also be that this interviewer was intentionally trying to take you off track to see if you would redirect the conversation. Do you have more interviews ahead? Now you are all the more prepared to handle the unexpected. Good luck.

I still find this to be inappropriate in our current society. His speech would not have been affected at all by replacing "man" with "someone".

I also think you have to understand the difference between incidence and prevalence. While most studies only show that 5-10% of the American population identify themselves as gay, you also have to understand that many men/women haven't come to accept their sexuality publicly (even on the anonymous surveys where this information was gathered). Download an app like Grindr or Hornet and you'll see a disheartening percentage of men who are "married" or "extremely discreet" looking for same-sex romantic involvement.

...and even if only 3% of the population was gay, that's still 3%! As a gay man, I have been in a couple of situations where the interviewer constructed assumptions about my sexuality that made me extremely uncomfortable. I had to debate if it would be better to tell the truth or lie. I generally decided to lie, as I assumed someone so certain about my heterosexuality would be offended if I proved them wrong. Either way, I would have preferred to not have been put in that situation to begin with.

 

[MajorBubblez]

Hi all, I appreciate the humor and the feedback. I guess I'm surprised that in one of the most professional settings of my life that someone would "tease" me about talking with my hands, and assume I'm both single and straight, among other things.



Yes, this is the part that I was surprised at.

Thanks for putting things in perspective, everyone. Going to try to expect the unexpected in the future!

I don't think there was anything unexpected in that interview... maybe try to just prepare for an interview better in general.

 

[kthxbai]

My best friend's 93 year old grandma still believes that "negro" is the polite term for a black person. Would you all consider this racist or simply a byproduct of her age?

And are there really no parallels to be drawn here?

 

[mimelim]

My best friend's 93 year old grandma still believes that "negro" is the polite term for a black person. Would you all consider this racist or simply a byproduct of her age?

And are there really no parallels to be drawn here?

So did the Army until this month...

http://www.cnn.com/2014/11/05/politics/army-says-word-negro-ok-to-use/index.html

 

[kthxbai]

And by the way, OP, I got waitlisted at a school where my interviewer wanted me to explain a single B+ in some upper level bio class.. Yeah. My interviewer had a strange sense of things, but what can you do? In real life you can't please everyone.

 

[kthxbai]

So did the Army until this month...

http://www.cnn.com/2014/11/05/politics/army-says-word-negro-ok-to-use/index.html

Meh. Still a byproduct of age.

 

[BrCo]

OP needs to grow some tougher skin and start accepting personal responsibility instead of trying to use "PC" arguments as justification. Bet this wouldn't even be a post if OP got accepted.

 

[aprimenumber]

My best friend's 93 year old grandma still believes that "negro" is the polite term for a black person. Would you all consider this racist or simply a byproduct of her age?

And are there really no parallels to be drawn here?

I used to volunteer at a retirement community, and the residents frequently used terms like "colored". It was very evident that they had no ill intention (like, one of the residents talked about how she was one of the few white people who play with "colored" kids when she was young, and how nice they were), so no one (including the numerous black staff members) were ever the slightest offended. Historical context matters, folks.

 

[Boolean]

I still find this to be inappropriate in our current society. His speech would not have been affected at all by replacing "man" with "someone".

I also think you have to understand the difference between incidence and prevalence. While most studies only show that 5-10% of the American population identify themselves as gay, you also have to understand that many men/women haven't come to accept their sexuality publicly (even on the anonymous surveys where this information was gathered). Download an app like Grindr or Hornet and you'll see a disheartening percentage of men who are "married" or "extremely discreet" looking for same-sex romantic involvement.

...and even if only 3% of the population was gay, that's still 3%! As a gay man, I have been in a couple of situations where the interviewer constructed assumptions about my sexuality that made me extremely uncomfortable. I had to debate if it would be better to tell the truth or lie. I generally decided to lie, as I assumed someone so certain about my heterosexuality would be offended if I proved them wrong. Either way, I would have preferred to not have been put in that situation to begin with.

There is no harm in simply putting forth that you are homosexual, rather than lying to the interviewer or letting them continue on that train of thought. By and large, the greatest proportion of American people are heterosexual. If they assume, simply correct them and move onwards with the interview. It isn't going to hurt you (nor is it legally allowed to).

Edit: You -> Your chances at admission

 

[NickNaylor]

I still find this to be inappropriate in our current society. His speech would not have been affected at all by replacing "man" with "someone".

I also think you have to understand the difference between incidence and prevalence. While most studies only show that 5-10% of the American population identify themselves as gay, you also have to understand that many men/women haven't come to accept their sexuality publicly (even on the anonymous surveys where this information was gathered). Download an app like Grindr or Hornet and you'll see a disheartening percentage of men who are "married" or "extremely discreet" looking for same-sex romantic involvement.

...and even if only 3% of the population was gay, that's still 3%! As a gay man, I have been in a couple of situations where the interviewer constructed assumptions about my sexuality that made me extremely uncomfortable. I had to debate if it would be better to tell the truth or lie. I generally decided to lie, as I assumed someone so certain about my heterosexuality would be offended if I proved them wrong. Either way, I would have preferred to not have been put in that situation to begin with.

While being polite and understanding is certainly warranted, you should also understand that people don't mean things in an offensive way in nearly all cases. At some point people should understand that simple mistakes are simple mistakes and not take such great offense at them. The alternative is to expect everyone to walk on eggshells trying to accommodate everyone and what might offend them. I don't think that's reasonable. In effect, this is a two-way street; people should certainly work to not be overtly offensive, but people should also work not to be overly offended.

 

[aprimenumber]

This thread is beginning to devolve into a headache of a debate over what's offensive and what's not.

Can we just agree that OP's interaction with her interviewer was not sexist and move on?

 

[kthxbai]

I don't know folks. I believe that there may have been a bit of sexism in his undertones. Nevertheless, this is the world we live in so suck it up and realize that life is very much unfair.

 

[Beargryllz]

Which part of this was sexist?

 

[TheRhymenocerous]

I'm curious – I know of a number of women who have been asked the "what would you do if a patient asked you out" question. Have any male interviewees been asked this? I do think it's (unfortunately) a much more relevant question for female applicants, since I think the chances they're going to get hit on at work are much higher. As a volunteer at a hospital, I frequently have to deflect inappropriate questions/proposals from patients and their family members.

Anyway, I don't think this interview was sexist, though it also doesn't sound like a great interview. Sexism is something you'll have to learn to deal with at every stage in your career, and this is pretty darn tame in the grand scheme of things.

 

[Toddissox]

I'm curious – I know of a number of women who have been asked the "what would you do if a patient asked you out" question. Have any male interviewees been asked this?

Just by my common sense, I feel that males tend to ask their female physicians out more. Probably that's why this question is targeted to female applicants as in how they would deal with this kind of situation where the patient thinks the hospital is like a bar and he can just pick up ladies like that.

 

[mehc012]

Just by my common sense, I feel that males tend to ask their female physicians out more. Probably that's why this question is targeted to female applicants as in how they would deal with this kind of situation where the patient thinks the hospital is like a bar and he can just pick up ladies like that.

Never been asked out. Have had my doc asked if I would provide the pt a buttock massage, though. And I'm just a scribe...I don't know how the nurses refrain from murder sometimes.

 

[JPA178]

I'm curious – I know of a number of women who have been asked the "what would you do if a patient asked you out" question. Have any male interviewees been asked this? I do think it's (unfortunately) a much more relevant question for female applicants, since I think the chances they're going to get hit on at work are much higher. As a volunteer at a hospital, I frequently have to deflect inappropriate questions/proposals from patients and their family members.

Anyway, I don't think this interview was sexist, though it also doesn't sound like a great interview. Sexism is something you'll have to learn to deal with at every stage in your career, and this is pretty darn tame in the grand scheme of things.

I'm male and I've had (female) nurses ask me if I want to date their daughters.

 

[Lamel]

Meh. Still a byproduct of age.

I'd say this for a 93 year old sure, but I wouldn't brush it aside as a "byproduct of age" for a major organization such as the army.

This was completely unacceptable, but better late than never I suppose.

 

[kthxbai]

I'd say this for a 93 year old sure, but I wouldn't brush it aside as a "byproduct of age" for a major organization such as the army.

This was completely unacceptable, but better late than never I suppose.

That still draws its breath from misconceptions that are generations upon generations old. A total byproduct of age.

 

[PreMed015]

While being polite and understanding is certainly warranted, you should also understand that people don't mean things in an offensive way in nearly all cases. At some point people should understand that simple mistakes are simple mistakes and not take such great offense at them. The alternative is to expect everyone to walk on eggshells trying to accommodate everyone and what might offend them. I don't think that's reasonable. In effect, this is a two-way street; people should certainly work to not be overtly offensive, but people should also work not to be overly offended.

I wasn't offended, I just found myself in a situation where my response could potentially have a negative impact on my application. Say what you will, but we are all human, therefore everything is open to subjectivity. If the interviewer happened to be a bigot (which I'm not saying he was), then he could either overtly or subconsciously create a negative image of me. I don't really understand how my romantic life even relates to my competency as a physician, which is why I believe it was inappropriate to be brought up in the first place.

As to the previous poster: You state that it is illegal to discriminate against gays. Elaborate to me how I could go about proving that a rejection was based upon the interviewers distaste for my sexual lifestyle. If you can't, then you have no right to judge me based on my response. You should also realize that both schools were located in the Deep South (do these states even have anti-discrimination laws for gays?).

EDIT: While assuming I'm straight in a casual setting wouldn't bother me at all, I feel as an interviewer you should do everything in your power to make the interviewee as comfortable as possible. Yes, that means walking on "shells" on controversial issues like religion and sexuality. Just like it would be inappropriate to assume someone is Christian just because ~80% of the American population identifies as such.

 

[looncat]

Look, I can be categorized as someone who is very "sensitive" to micro-agressions, so hear me out: this really wasn't sexist. Contrary to what others have said, sexism isn't just in the form of "women being inferior to men", but there are also small comments like "you'll probably end up in pediatrics" which also constitutes sexism.
This interviewer mentioning how you'll someday meet a man and asking how you'd reply to being asked out isn't sexist, he's just older and probably finds it entertaining to tease young people. I understand you were a little miffed about these and the Italian comments, but I seriously doubt this had any bearing on your being wait listed. There's nothing you should do about it at this point.

 

[deleted480308]

The phrase "micro-aggressions" makes me roll my eyes

 

[Boolean]

I wasn't offended, I just found myself in a situation where my response could potentially have a negative impact on my application. Say what you will, but we are all human, therefore everything is open to subjectivity. If the interviewer happened to be a bigot (which I'm not saying he was), then he could either overtly or subconsciously create a negative image of me. I don't really understand how my romantic life even relates to my competency as a physician, which is why I believe it was inappropriate to be brought up in the first place.

As to the previous poster: You state that it is illegal to discriminate against gays. Elaborate to me how I could go about proving that a rejection was based upon the interviewers distaste for my sexual lifestyle. If you can't, then you have no right to judge me based on my response. You should also realize that both schools were located in the Deep South (do these states even have anti-discrimination laws for gays?).

EDIT: While assuming I'm straight in a casual setting wouldn't bother me at all, I feel as an interviewer you should do everything in your power to make the interviewee as comfortable as possible. Yes, that means walking on "shells" on controversial issues like religion and sexuality. Just like it would be inappropriate to assume someone is Christian just because ~80% of the American population identifies as such.

If you really cannot fathom how your personal life will have an impact on how you are as a physician it is probably best that you got waitlisted.

 

[looncat]

The phrase "micro-aggressions" makes me roll my eyes

Sure it does, until it happens to you. How annoying do you think it'd be if you were black and people constantly asked to touch your hair? That's a micro-aggression because it's not blatant racism. Also if you note, I said this wasn't a micro-aggression and that saying something like "you'll end up in pediatrics because you're a woman" is micro-aggression.

 

[Goro]

I and my colleagues have asked male patients "what would you do if your patient hit on you/makes a pass at you/asks you out on a date?"

At least at my school, the question is gender-neutral.

I'm curious – I know of a number of women who have been asked the "what would you do if a patient asked you out" question. Have any male interviewees been asked this? I do think it's (unfortunately) a much more relevant question for female applicants, since I think the chances they're going to get hit on at work are much higher. As a volunteer at a hospital, I frequently have to deflect inappropriate questions/proposals from patients and their family members.

Anyway, I don't think this interview was sexist, though it also doesn't sound like a great interview. Sexism is something you'll have to learn to deal with at every stage in your career, and this is pretty darn tame in the grand scheme of things.

 

[TheRhymenocerous]

Sure it does, until it happens to you. How annoying do you think it'd be if you were black and people constantly asked to touch your hair? That's a micro-aggression because it's not blatant racism. Also if you note, I said this wasn't a micro-aggression and that saying something like "you'll end up in pediatrics because you're a woman" is micro-aggression.

All of those things are annoying, yeah, but the term "micro-aggression" has always seemed off-base to me, since it's always used to refer to unintentional slights, whereas "aggression" implies intent on the part of the "aggressor."

 

[PreMed015]

If you really cannot fathom how your personal life will have an impact on how you are as a physician it is probably best that you got waitlisted.

Waitlisted? I was accepted at one, still have yet to hear back from the second.

And yes, who I'm involved with romantically is not the concern of the interviewer.