Sexually harassed by a doctor I’m shadowing - what should I do?

[Theresaaaaaaa]

Hi all!

I am a Asian female premed applying this cycle. I recently shadowed a white ~60 y.o. nocturnist at an ER. My husband’s friend (female) who worked with him several years ago introduced me to the doctor.

This happened at my very first day at the hospital, and he appeared to be very quirky and clumsy. I can easily assume that he is autistic. He moved extra fast unexpectedly, made extra big movements with no boundaries, spilled my coffee, kept being in the way not allowing personal space, was very judgmental and sarcastic to patients, making unnecessary comments all the time, and almost seemed narcissistic. He talked about his asian female nurses negatively, sounded like racism to me, and wanted to talk about asian cultures such as classism, hierarchy, and submissiveness.

All of these happened within my first two hours there. I definitely didn’t like his attitude and personality, but he tried to teach me well while charting and rounding, show me around the hospital, and introduced me to other nurses.

After 10 pm, he and I were in the charting room, and nobody else was there. We were having conversations about life, my application, and about my husband and his wife, but he kept his eye on my breast half of the time talking. I felt very unpleasant.

At some point, he wanted to teach me suturing. I was so excited, but he unexpectedly reached my badge lanyard and grabbed it from my chest area, slightly touched my breast, to tie the suture thread on it. It was unpleasant, but I tried to understand that given his (medical) condition that I assumed. After doing the practice until the end of the thread, he suddenly grabbed my fitted button-down shirt (he wanted me to dress “business casual”) from my chest area again, right below my bra line, and then pierced the suture needle into the fabric. I was shocked and scared, but continued to suturing. When I was struggling making a knot, he grabbed and maneuvered my hands. As soon as I felt one of back of his hands touch my nipple, I moved my upper body to avoid the contact. However, he kept pulling my hands towards him while doing suture on my shirt. The back of his hand started touching my nipple again, so I placed one of my hand between the back of his hand and my breast, and grabbed my breast. He didn’t stop suturing and almost grinding his hand onto my hand that was grabbing my breast for good seconds.

I knew there was no evidence, cctv footage, or witnesses, so I just tried to remain calm and went home a few hours later.

The thing is, I submitted my primary app with “anticipated” activities of shadowing him for 40 hours in July with his contact info. He is my only shadowing opportunity. I did only a day, and he expected me to come back for another 2 weeks sometime this month.

And he sent me an email last night around midnight saying that “let me know if you need a letter from me.” I didn’t even requested it. I haven’t replied.

I was so desperate for this opportunity and his potential letter of rec for my app, and am still desperate. What do you guys think I should do at this moment? If I give up this opportunity, what should I tell him to quit? I’m also worried about med school admissions reaching out to him to confirm the completion of my anticipated activities with him.

Thank you very much for your opinions in advance! And good luck with your cycle to all of you.

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[Goro]

Quit and report him to HR.

Then find another doctor to shadow

 

[gyngyn]

Quit and report him to HR.

...and the Medical Board.

 

[darkamgine]

I am sorry to hear that this happened to you. No one deserves this and I hope you are alright.

Goro is right, just quit and report him. Unless he knows your personal information, just block or ghost him. I advise you to make sure others know as well that you do not want to meet/talk to him in case your friend doesn't realize what happened.

As for the shadowing hours, almost no medical school checks hours like that. The most they would ever consider is a quick google search but probably not even that. If you already got a full shift of shadowing, you probably saw most of what you would have seen. However, you should try to see if you can do other shadowing instead.

A letter of rec from a doctor about you shadowing is pretty worthless imo. When you shadow, you literally watch like a fly in the room. How is that going to demonstrate whether you are going to be a good physician?

For future reference, you or anyone else do not have to put up with creepy/wrong behavior. Find a safe way to leave like going to the bathroom and think about what happened. If it was bad and unjustifiable, leave and see if you can report it. Make an excuse if needed and get out. In this case, I have no clue if anything would happen but I guess with his attitude, it is probably that others would know. Obviously, I do not know all the circumstances so you have to think carefully about how you want to proceed to make sure things do not come back to bite you.

 

[Mr.Smile12]

Since you are shadowing, are you "official" through the clinic as an employee? Did you get trained with HIPAA prior to starting as a shadow? If this arrangement was done completely informally, there are some issues which unfortunately boomerang back to you (why are you there in the first place? does the hospital have responsibility for your safety?)

There should be an anonymous phone or email to connect to the appropriate HR officer especially involved with civil rights. Check your volunteer handbook if you received one.

Since this is occurring in an ER, make your reports appropriately. The head of the ED should be informed with as much detail as possible.

The hospital system may have a process where you can report anonymously (instead of directly to the chief of emergency, but the chief will be notified): How to Report Sexual Harassment is an example

You said there were no cameras in the charting room, but is there a surveillance camera that monitors entry/egress from that room? Is the room secured and requires badge access? If this is the emergency room, there are cameras, but you may not know. If this is on hospital property, the hospital can be on the hook.

Understand you are not alone, and unfortunately this happens more frequently than we want.

Understanding and Addressing Sexual Harassment in Academic Medicine

The AAMC has published a first-of-its-kind analysis of the prevalence and experiences of sexual harassment among U.S. medical school faculty in the workplace.

www.aamc.org

 

[darkamgine]

Thank you so much for your advice and support! I think I would just quit and report him to the HR/sexual harassment department as I was properly onboarded as a visitor/observer. Do you think I should give an excuse to him for quitting?

I would just block him and not contact him. If somehow he somehow still contacts you, just make an excuse to not meet. If you are going to report him, I think it is best to stay away from him.

 

[Angler]

@Theresaaaaaaa I'm no expert, but I think this rises to a level where the police should get involved. However, it then becomes he-said-she-said, and you could easily get swept into more than you bargained for. You should consider contacting a women's support network to get help as well.

 

[pierty]

@Theresaaaaaaa I'm no expert, but I think this rises to a level where the police should get involved. However, it then becomes he-said-she-said, and you could easily get swept into more than you bargained for. You should consider contacting a women's support network to get help as well.

It's a difficult situation, but starting an investigation with little to gain and a lot of emotional and physical investment to lose with police involvement makes it a horrible situation.

Thank you so much for your advice and support! I think I would just quit and report him to the HR/sexual harassment department as I was properly onboarded as a visitor/observer. Do you think I should give an excuse to him for quitting?

I would agree that reporting them to HR and politely/professionally disengaging is likely the best move. You can let them know that some personal circumstances have changed and you aren't able to come in - you can apologize and thank them for the opportunity, or leave it without the pleasantries if it feels better.

I'm glad that they are minimally connected to you - you shouldn't worry about disengaging (or even think too much about the way you do it) - shadowing experiences like this mean very little.

I am really sorry this happened, and I hope you never have to experience anything like this again.

 

[Angler]

It's a difficult situation, but starting an investigation with little to gain and a lot of emotional and physical investment to lose with police involvement makes it a horrible situation.

I agree. It requires a large degree of toughness on the part of the OP. But this guy shouldn't be let off the hook to do this again. I don't know if just reporting to the hospital is adequate.

 

[StressfulMD]

@Theresaaaaaaa I'm no expert, but I think this rises to a level where the police should get involved. However, it then becomes he-said-she-said, and you could easily get swept into more than you bargained for. You should consider contacting a women's support network to get help as well.

@Theresaaaaaaa - I would agree with getting law enforcement involved. I can't substantially add to what most have said here already, but, yeah, his conduct is totally and completely reprehensible. Extremely unbecoming of any medical professional and just really disgusting overall, (not to mention his terrible bedside manner and overt racism)

Report, report, report. Like the others said, tell his boss, the police, the medical board, anyone in a position of authority over him. You deserve much better and wouldn't have taken valuable time out of your day to shadow had it not been for the application. He should've been respectful of your pursuits.

In any case, since you already have an ID badge, tell whoever the head of volunteering is to find you another doctor, get those 40 hours there and don't shadow more unless you really want to tbh.

 

[wysdoc]

Thank you so much for your advice and support! I think I would just quit and report him to the HR/sexual harassment department as I was properly onboarded as a visitor/observer. Do you think I should give an excuse to him for quitting?

@Theresaaaaaaa you owe this doctor no courtesy and no notice of quitting.
Search the medical board in your state and see about anonymous reporting.
I’m sorry you went through this

 

[Angus Avagadro]

Hi all!

I am a Asian female premed applying this cycle. I recently shadowed a white ~60 y.o. nocturnist at an ER. My husband’s friend (female) who worked with him several years ago introduced me to the doctor.

This happened at my very first day at the hospital, and he appeared to be very quirky and clumsy. I can easily assume that he is autistic. He moved extra fast unexpectedly, made extra big movements with no boundaries, spilled my coffee, kept being in the way not allowing personal space, was very judgmental and sarcastic to patients, making unnecessary comments all the time, and almost seemed narcissistic. He talked about his asian female nurses negatively, sounded like racism to me, and wanted to talk about asian cultures such as classism, hierarchy, and submissiveness.

All of these happened within my first two hours there. I definitely didn’t like his attitude and personality, but he tried to teach me well while charting and rounding, show me around the hospital, and introduced me to other nurses.

After 10 pm, he and I were in the charting room, and nobody else was there. We were having conversations about life, my application, and about my husband and his wife, but he kept his eye on my breast half of the time talking. I felt very unpleasant.

At some point, he wanted to teach me suturing. I was so excited, but he unexpectedly reached my badge lanyard and grabbed it from my chest area, slightly touched my breast, to tie the suture thread on it. It was unpleasant, but I tried to understand that given his (medical) condition that I assumed. After doing the practice until the end of the thread, he suddenly grabbed my fitted button-down shirt (he wanted me to dress “business casual”) from my chest area again, right below my bra line, and then pierced the suture needle into the fabric. I was shocked and scared, but continued to suturing. When I was struggling making a knot, he grabbed and maneuvered my hands. As soon as I felt one of back of his hands touch my nipple, I moved my upper body to avoid the contact. However, he kept pulling my hands towards him while doing suture on my shirt. The back of his hand started touching my nipple again, so I placed one of my hand between the back of his hand and my breast, and grabbed my breast. He didn’t stop suturing and almost grinding his hand onto my hand that was grabbing my breast for good seconds.

I knew there was no evidence, cctv footage, or witnesses, so I just tried to remain calm and went home a few hours later.

The thing is, I submitted my primary app with “anticipated” activities of shadowing him for 40 hours in July with his contact info. He is my only shadowing opportunity. I did only a day, and he expected me to come back for another 2 weeks sometime this month.

And he sent me an email last night around midnight saying that “let me know if you need a letter from me.” I didn’t even requested it. I haven’t replied.

I was so desperate for this opportunity and his potential letter of rec for my app, and am still desperate. What do you guys think I should do at this moment? If I give up this opportunity, what should I tell him to quit? I’m also worried about med school admissions reaching out to him to confirm the completion of my anticipated activities with him.

Thank you very much for your opinions in advance! And good luck with your cycle to all of you.

I'd point out that this guy may have a history of other such incidents, might be on probation, etc,. I agree these are reportable acts. I'm sorry you are going through this stressful situation.

 

[Faha]

This incident should be reported the State Board of Registration of Medicine. It is likely that there are other incidents that will come to light with an investigation by State Board and they are required by law to investigate all complaints. The HR department may or may not do anything and their actions may be influenced by internal politics at the hospital.

 

[pierty]

She should not have to apologize under any scenario. There is no need for her to explain herself or apologize to her sexual harasser.

I agree. The statement speaks for itself.

In context, she wants to know how to remove herself from the situation, ranging from adding a sentence in an email to not appearing. Either is correct. Politely disengaging doesn't amount to an apology for what occurred to her, or a broad overarching statement about sexual harassment. There is no need for the generalized rhetoric.

 

[wysdoc]

I agree. The statement speaks for itself.

In context, she wants to know how to remove herself from the situation, ranging from adding a sentence in an email to not appearing. Either is correct. Politely disengaging doesn't amount to an apology for what occurred to her, or a broad overarching statement about sexual harassment. There is no need for the generalized rhetoric.

Re-reading @pierty 's comment I now see that they meant making some comment to HR (or administration) to say that OP won't be coming back for more shadowing, and not an apology to the harasser. I initially took it the other way too like @Stuaccount did.

@Theresaaaaaaa if the doctor emails you again, keep all the emails he sends as evidence against him but don't respond.
I hope you will read into reporting him to the medical board. On the medical board site you should also be able to look up his license and see whether there are prior complaints or censures against him. This is public information on the site.

 

[2024 or 5 ?]

Consider contacting an attorney.