Should applying to vet school be a "solitary" process?

[AniSci]

I'm applying to vet school this summer, and while I've got a lot to get together/organized for that, I'm also taking biochem. My other sister just graduated from undergrad, so I'm the only one left in my family that's got...a lot of school to go through. I was supposed to graduate as well, but I got started on the vet path a semester late, so that's the only reason I'm a little behind the rest of my classmates. I don't mind having a lot of school left; I'm well aware that it's just how life goes. But it still kind of stinks realizing that everyone else in your family doesn't have homework/school anymore and that you're not even in vet school yet. The common ground sort of disappears.

ANYWAY, I've just been feeling really poorly supported. Is this all in my head, or is this a common thing to experience? After all this time, it's coming down to a few months and a "few applications" to finally reach the final stretch of my life-long dream. I've been trying to get my parents more involved with it, even just being there to encourage me along and tell me that I'm not doing all of this for nothing (even if it is a lie). But so far they just really know that the application process occurs online, and they're pretty much leaving it up to me to make all the decisions (it is my decision after all); it'd be nice if they showed some more support of some kind, like trying to make sure it's going well. But it's like they don't even remember I'm in the middle of one of the biggest/scariest applications I've dealt with so far in my life.

I'm not sure why, but applying to vet school is a much scarier feat that I originally expected it to be. Have any of you experienced anything similar? Or do you have any advice? Words of assurance?

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[WulfpackChica]

It's a scary and a stressful process to carry out, especially when you are still in school. Personally, it stressed me out when I had my family asking how the process was going. This is truly a personal opinion.

However, you do have a network of people that understand the application process stress. You are not alone, if you are feeling alone find the board for the 2020 applicants and vent. I did it when I was applying and it was helpful

Also, reaching out to future classmates/colleagues helps. I just finished my first year, my parents could cheerlead all day long but it was not the support I needed. My classmates were a great support system because the understood what I was going through. They were right there with me.

 

[Felixor90]

I kinda wish it was a solitary process. My parents and friends constantly kept asking for updates during that long stretch of time where you're waiting for final decisions and it sucks having to repeat the "I'll know when I know" line and having to hear the sweet, but irritating "I'm sure you'll get in" because it just makes you worry you'll disappoint them. Try to make friends at your interviews that way you can text each other and have some support. Some of them will also be your future classmates/colleagues so you get a head start at meeting people.

 

[AniSci]

I've got a few friends (one, really, which is sad--but I don't make friends all that easily, which is definitely something I need to change if/when vet school starts) that are applying to vet school along with me. But like I said, most people from my class applied last summer, and graduated this spring. So they've all moved on, and I'm still stuck in the "magical" world of Undergrad Land.

I do have the vets I worked with to help me along as far as advice and encouragement goes; one of them I'm closer to because she graduated a few weeks before I started working at the clinic (two years ago), so we've got that "elderly person holding newborn baby" sort of thing going on. We're opposite sides of the same coin, and she's always offered me a lot of genuine help; she even offered last fall to help me fill out the application. I might take her up on that, just for the support haha.

 

[Felixor90]

I've got a few friends (one, really, which is sad--but I don't make friends all that easily, which is definitely something I need to change if/when vet school starts) that are applying to vet school along with me. But like I said, most people from my class applied last summer, and graduated this spring. So they've all moved on, and I'm still stuck in the "magical" world of Undergrad Land.

I do have the vets I worked with to help me along as far as advice and encouragement goes; one of them I'm closer to because she graduated a few weeks before I started working at the clinic (two years ago), so we've got that "elderly person holding newborn baby" sort of thing going on. We're opposite sides of the same coin, and she's always offered me a lot of genuine help; she even offered last fall to help me fill out the application. I might take her up on that, just for the support haha.

Sounds to me like you have a good amount of support. Your family not being so involved in the application process is actually going to be good in the long run, trust me. During the 9+ months that the application cycle lasts, having friends/family that don't want to talk about vet school/applying is more important than having friends that do.

 

[JaynaAli]

The feeling that life is passing you by doesn't magically end once you get into vet school. People I knew in undergrad and high school are married, having kids, buying their first homes, etc and I'm just finishing school. But I did make lots of new friends in vet school who understand and are in the same places in their lives too which is nice. You just have to ignore it as much as possible and remember why you're doing it. Spend less or even no time on Facebook and it could be easier, but there's no easy answer. You just have to decide if vet med is worth the sacrifices or if you are more interested in keeping up with the joneses or whatever.

 

[AniSci]

The feeling that life is passing you by doesn't magically end once you get into vet school. People I knew in undergrad and high school are married, having kids, buying their first homes, etc and I'm just finishing school. But I did make lots of new friends in vet school who understand and are in the same places in their lives too which is nice. You just have to ignore it as much as possible and remember why you're doing it. Spend less or even no time on Facebook and it could be easier, but there's no easy answer. You just have to decide if vet med is worth the sacrifices or if you are more interested in keeping up with the joneses or whatever.

I'm really not worried about the Joneses; I'm not worried about the 22 year olds of my group that are starting to get married and have kids. that was a sacrifice of education/careers that they made in favor of having a family and feeling (for themselves) whole and complete. And that's okay; it's what makes them feel useful and important.
However, getting married and having kids like the normal person never really appealed to me; that I'm working towards a greater good (and not giving up on something I've dreamed about for nearly all my life) is more important. Family and children can come after, once I've settled down personally/academically.

 

[AniSci]

Sounds to me like you have a good amount of support. Your family not being so involved in the application process is actually going to be good in the long run, trust me. During the 9+ months that the application cycle lasts, having friends/family that don't want to talk about vet school/applying is more important than having friends that do.

Thank you for putting that in relative perspective; it's stressful enough not knowing if I'll end up letting everyone down. But having them constantly (and maybe falsely) remind me of it every other day would be an absolute nightmare! "I'll let you know I let you all down when I know myself".

 

[Lilly63]

Being the first in my family to graduate college, I had no one to turn to for advice or encouragement through the process. I then instead turned to co-workers and vets for advice and questions. Luckily right now I have an amazing mentor that I can always talk to. Things will work out.

 

[AniSci]

Being the first in my family to graduate college, I had no one to turn to for advice or encouragement through the process. I then instead turned to co-workers and vets for advice and questions. Luckily right now I have an amazing mentor that I can always talk to. Things will work out.

I really like that persepctive! I'm of course the baby of the family, so I didn't think about it from the oldest/first's perspective. In that case, I'd be motivated and feel (somehow) "supported" by all my younger siblings/relatives looking up to me. I'd keep going for them.

 

[rockatiel]

I am also the baby of my family. My only brother, who hold a bachelor's, is 5 years older than me and we were both first-generation students from a rural, educationally-underserved area. Though family members have stated college, they have left in the first year and never finished. Our parents pushed the hell out of us though. Not graduating isn't an option. My brother graduated summa cum laude, and I will graduate cum laude next spring. My brother also was a communications major. So no one in my family really understands what I'm doing right now with the sciences.

It's weird for me beacsue I actually enjoy having the process done with few people breathing down my neck. I'd feel even better if I actually was a semester late--I would never get the feeling I was competing with my other pre-professional peers. I have all my classes with them and they constantly quiz me about my future to size me up. I hate it. I'm very anti pre-med/vet/dent/etc stereotypes and more of a person. Most people that don't know me think I'm an art major.

But that being said, I get where you are coming from. Every time someone asks me "you're applying this year, right?" I shudder at the thought. Be we just need to get it done? Someone has started a 2020 applicants thread, just poke around here until you find it! Like I said, I don't really get along or identify with other pre-health type people or science majors, even though I love science. I always get my support from my amazing coworkers, my professors, and my family (even when I feel like it's not there, it's there) and I promise it's probably there for you, too. Just have to look for it sometimes!

 

[AniSci]

I am also the baby of my family. My only brother, who hold a bachelor's, is 5 years older than me and we were both first-generation students from a rural, educationally-underserved area. Though family members have stated college, they have left in the first year and never finished. Our parents pushed the hell out of us though. Not graduating isn't an option. My brother graduated summa cum laude, and I will graduate cum laude next spring. My brother also was a communications major. So no one in my family really understands what I'm doing right now with the sciences.

It's weird for me beacsue I actually enjoy having the process done with few people breathing down my neck. I'd feel even better if I actually was a semester late--I would never get the feeling I was competing with my other pre-professional peers. I have all my classes with them and they constantly quiz me about my future to size me up. I hate it. I'm very anti pre-med/vet/dent/etc stereotypes and more of a person. Most people that don't know me think I'm an art major.

But that being said, I get where you are coming from. Every time someone asks me "you're applying this year, right?" I shudder at the thought. Be we just need to get it done? Someone has started a 2020 applicants thread, just poke around here until you find it! Like I said, I don't really get along or identify with other pre-health type people or science majors, even though I love science. I always get my support from my amazing coworkers, my professors, and my family (even when I feel like it's not there, it's there) and I promise it's probably there for you, too. Just have to look for it sometimes!

Oh my goodness, yes! We're almost in the same boat, except I've got three older sisters: a dentist, an RN, and a newly graduated architect (but not licensed yet). The first two get the agony of being a science major, at least. And the first totally understands what any kind of med school is like.

But I definitely can see where you're coming from with preferring to be a semester behind so you're not feeling sized up. My classmates did that all the time, even though they all tried to act friendly with one another. You knew what they were really trying to do the whole time, which made it horrible to find friends. :/

I'm totally my own person, too. I guess they might guess I'm an animal science major, but I'm not the typical hard-core, cut-throat type of "pre-vet student". I'm smart, hardworking, and don't try to make enemies or cut people down just to get ahead. It might be my school, though, and how laid back everyone is here. But I'm not sure haha. I stick to myself too much to really notice what's going on with other people.

 

[Minnerbelle]

My parents are overseas, and they've always known how hard I've worked towards becoming a vet, and they've always been supportive and proud of me, but for the past decade or so since I was in undergrad, I'd talk to them about once a month and let them know I was alive and busy doing whatever... But it's not like they ever understood what I was doing.

My older 2 siblings have long started their careers and families and are fairly successful. Younger sibling still trying to figure things out, but also just kinda doing her thing. I've pretty much been at it by myself with some immediate support from my BF du jour (though I'm hoping my current one sticks around forever) and friends/coworkers that are around at the time. My only constant source of daily support has been my cat. Eh, such is life. It's fine, everything worked out.

My family is just as proud of me as always, though I don't think they will ever understand my daily trials and tribulations as a busy GP veterinarian, but I don't think that's necessary. Heck, I still have no idea how it felt to be my dad, as a super busy businessman running around the globe away from family years at a time. Doesn't mean I love him or respect his work any less.

You just find buddies going through the same thing as you as an applicant, vet student, vet, and get support from those people when it comes to stressors associated with your career trajectory. Your family will always be there regardless of whether they "get it" or not. I don't think it's fair to make them do more than that.

 

[DVMDream]

The only other people that will "get" vet school applications, vet school or being a vet are those that are also doing the same thing.

No matter how much you explain it to your family, they will NEVER completely understand it and that is ok. They aren't supposed to. Family is there to be supportive when you are tired or had a bad day to make you feel better, not to completely understand what you are going through. They simply can't understand it.

I am the only person in my family to go through this much schooling. There is nobody else that could possibly "get" it. Just like my younger sister, she is the only one of us (so far) who went into the military. I will never understand what she went through in the military. However, I can and was there for her if she was just having a hard time. Someone for her to lean on and rant to. And she would do the same for me. Neither of us could ever "get" what the other has done, but we can definitely still support each other.

Also, the application really is kind of a solo process. I mean, most of it is boring work of filling out your personal info, parent info, experiences and classes taken. The few things that they might be able to "help" with would be personal statements or other essays, but even those you will write by yourself and then maybe ask them if they don't mind proof-reading it. However, there isn't really a reason for a parent or sibling to be with you while you fill out the VMCAS. Heck, I applied 3 times, my mother came with to some interviews and I had her proof-read personal statements and she wouldn't be able to tell you how the application process works. I only involved her in what I felt I needed help with or when I needed to bounce an idea off of her.

 

[Doktor Timo]

It definitely depends on the person. I felt fairly well supported because I had a lot of fellow pre-vet classmates who understood the struggle. My family didn't all get it, but my mom did. I think she wanted me to get in as much as I wanted to, and she was realistic enough about the difficulty to not seem like she was just assuming I would get accepted. In fact, she often pushed me pretty hard when I wasn't feeling enough motivation by myself. She's kind of a Caucasian tiger mom, haha.

But I don't think the way you're feeling is unusual. And if you get into vet school there will be days or weeks where you still feel pretty solitary even though you're surrounded by your fellow vet students.

 

[AniSci]

The only other people that will "get" vet school applications, vet school or being a vet are those that are also doing the same thing.

No matter how much you explain it to your family, they will NEVER completely understand it and that is ok. They aren't supposed to. Family is there to be supportive when you are tired or had a bad day to make you feel better, not to completely understand what you are going through. They simply can't understand it.

I am the only person in my family to go through this much schooling. There is nobody else that could possibly "get" it. Just like my younger sister, she is the only one of us (so far) who went into the military. I will never understand what she went through in the military. However, I can and was there for her if she was just having a hard time. Someone for her to lean on and rant to. And she would do the same for me. Neither of us could ever "get" what the other has done, but we can definitely still support each other.

Also, the application really is kind of a solo process. I mean, most of it is boring work of filling out your personal info, parent info, experiences and classes taken. The few things that they might be able to "help" with would be personal statements or other essays, but even those you will write by yourself and then maybe ask them if they don't mind proof-reading it. However, there isn't really a reason for a parent or sibling to be with you while you fill out the VMCAS. Heck, I applied 3 times, my mother came with to some interviews and I had her proof-read personal statements and she wouldn't be able to tell you how the application process works. I only involved her in what I felt I needed help with or when I needed to bounce an idea off of her.

I know no one in my family will ever get it, just as I'll never get what they've gone through. I don't expect them to. But I wouldn't mind some sort of attempt at support, or an attempt to at least trying to grasp the general concept of what I'm dealing with, let alone what I'm going through.

I don't expect them to help me fill out my full name, home address, past grades, etc.. on the application itself. I don't expect them to make sure I'm getting everything together for it, and making sure it's all submitted on time. That's my job, seeing as I'm the "adult"; I'm 22 and about to be a college graduate headed (hopefully) off to the professional, rigorous world of veterinary school. Spoon feeding is for grade school and babies. Yes they've read personal statements and reminded me countless times that they want me IS because they want me close by, and also because OS tuition is ridiculous (agreed). But their method of helping feels so much more like they're still trying to tell me what to do, instead of actively listening, offering unbiased advice, and then supporting me in whatever I choose to do. It's the time of my life where I'm supposed to be spreading my wings, and instead they're either ignoring my urge to fly completely or clipping my wings.

Wow I got really off topic. Sorry.

 

[Lupin21]

I know no one in my family will ever get it, just as I'll never get what they've gone through. I don't expect them to. But I wouldn't mind some sort of attempt at support, or an attempt to at least trying to grasp the general concept of what I'm dealing with, let alone what I'm going through.

I don't expect them to help me fill out my full name, home address, past grades, etc.. on the application itself. I don't expect them to make sure I'm getting everything together for it, and making sure it's all submitted on time. That's my job, seeing as I'm the "adult"; I'm 22 and about to be a college graduate headed (hopefully) off to the professional, rigorous world of veterinary school. Spoon feeding is for grade school and babies. Yes they've read personal statements and reminded me countless times that they want me IS because they want me close by, and also because OS tuition is ridiculous (agreed). But their method of helping feels so much more like they're still trying to tell me what to do, instead of actively listening, offering unbiased advice, and then supporting me in whatever I choose to do. It's the time of my life where I'm supposed to be spreading my wings, and instead they're either ignoring my urge to fly completely or clipping my wings.

Wow I got really off topic. Sorry.

Okay. Just saying. You are really coming off as a complete baby here. You have made it this far. If you don't make it in this cycle, you try try again. The apocalypse is not looming. Your family does what they do and it will always be up to you to make the most of what you can be. There is some quote somewhere that you actually come into this world alone and that is how you will go out, people around you or no and I completely agree.

I don't ever know what advice you are seeking when you post in these forums. You have your mind made up and are just looking for people to validate you is how it comes off. I am NOT saying that is your intent, but it comes off that way. I recommend you rely on yourself as most individuals must do. Hell, look up the meaning of self reliance if you need to, but in the end, life is what YOU make of it.

I hope you keep growing and discovering yourself. In my opinion, you've got a lot of life to get through before I would think you are ready for the commitment to making life and death decisions on your own and living with the consequences, be they good or bad. This life is what you make of it. Take confidence in yourself and know when you should hold strong, and when you need to concede to those who know better than you. That is what makes an excellent doctor.

 

[DVMDream]

Spoon feeding is for grade school and babies.

This is kind of hilarious coming from the person who has posted threads basically asking us to spoon feed you information on vet school applications.

 

[Cephal0pod]

I think there comes a time where you just have to buckle down, keep calm, and apply on, regardless of your perceived level of support. My family is generally supportive, but as others have alluded to, they haven't done this so they don't fully understand it. And that's okay. They let me know they are rooting for me, they listen when I just need to talk about something, and I am grateful for that. I don't expect them to check in with me constantly for a detailed progress report and/or offer input on my application, and I think it would drive me nuts if they did.

You mentioned wanting to spread your wings; think about this process as the first step in doing so. By all means share with your family what the application process is like and how things are going, but don't be crippled by the fact that they may not be able to provide the kind of support it sounds like you are looking for.

 

[AniSci]

This is kind of hilarious coming from the person who has posted threads basically asking us to spoon feed you information on vet school applications.

Since when did I ask to be spoonfed? It's called asking for help, and in my experience, if you're not clear-cut, people don't tend to be very helpful or kind on this website.

 

[Minnerbelle]

Since when did I ask to be spoonfed? It's called asking for help, and in my experience, if you're not clear-cut, people don't tend to be very helpful or kind on this website.

So what is it exactly that you want?

 

[Caia]

Maybe I'm not understanding what you're expecting when you say "support"? What is it that you're expecting them to do, exactly?

 

[LetItSnow]

I guess my only piece of advice would be that if the perceived lack of support over the *application* process is this distressing, you probably want to do some serious thinking about managing the stress of school itself, and what sort of support structure you personally will need while you're in school.

I understand that the application period feels stressful. But school is quite a bit more stressful. So you're going to want to resolve this before school.

Honestly, if they aren't providing you with what you think you need, why not just tell them? They probably have no clue they aren't giving you the support you feel you need.

 

[allykd]

**

 

[missdarjeeling]

Now is the time to figure out how to get yourself through a challenge on your own, drawing from your own motivation and drive. I'm not even sure what kind of support you're looking for, based on what you've written here, but it's not fair to expect everyone in your life to constantly be deeply involved and cheering you on every minute of every step of the way.

When I first went to grad school, my parents drilled me with questions about what I was going to do. It was supremely irritating, but I had answers because they were questions I had already asked myself and I told them those answers to basically get them to shut up. None of my friends really cared about what I was doing and no one was really cheering me on, but I pressed forward because if I had sat around waiting for everyone to start being supportive, I would've never left home.

Same thing after I left, started working, and then went back to school for my pre-reqs. Want to talk about left behind? I've spent the past 2 years in classrooms with students who are 8 years younger than me on average while most of my peers are moving right along in their careers. Even my husband, who finished his Masters 3 years after I finished mine is way ahead. Some days, it bothers me a little, but at the end of the day, it's pointless and a complete and utter waste of time to worry about what other people are doing when you should be focusing on getting your own sh-t together.

Throughout this journey to vet med, my parents have been vaguely supportive because the courses I took were in STEM, but every time I talk to them about where I am in the process, they ask me the same exact question: "4 more years? Why don't you just get some job? Can't you just get some science job or something?" And, of course, my mother starts pressuring me about babies. Babies babies babies. Which sucks because I actually do want to start a family eventually, and her nagging me about it and subtly telling me I'm going to run out of time doesn't exactly help. My husband is supportive, but there are limits to how much he can empathize, and it's not healthy for me to be constantly bugging him for reassurance and validation. It's not his responsibility to bear this emotional load for me because it's something I have chosen to do. Of the 3 friends in the field who I got to know through working at the vet hospital, only 1 is a pre-vet, and she's the only person who understands exactly what this is like. Of course, we just relocated 400 miles away, so I can't even go grab a cup of coffee with her anymore.

All of this is just my way of saying that this is pretty normal. It's life. The older you get, the more people go their own way and the more different everyone's path in life becomes. The more you're expected to stand on your own two feet and bear the burdens of whatever choices you've made. It's up to you to light the fire under your arse and press on regardless of what the people around you are saying or not saying or doing or not doing. It's up to you to figure out how to ignore people who are trying to tell you what to do. And this isn't just about vet school. It's true of pretty much everything.

Honestly, I'm still not exactly sure what your issue is with your parents, but I did notice you mentioned them not giving you unbiased advice. Why would you expect unbiased advice from your parents? Even if they knew everything there was to know about the application process and vet school, why would their advice be unbiased? You're their child. Of course it's going to be biased and of course they're not going to be impartial. They're never going to be disinterested enough to be unbiased. That's not going to change, and it's not a failure on your parents' part. That's just the reality of that kind of relationship, and you're expecting the impossible, IMO.

 

[DVMDream]

Since when did I ask to be spoonfed? It's called asking for help, and in my experience, if you're not clear-cut, people don't tend to be very helpful or kind on this website.

When you ask basic questions about the GRE, a list of what to do for applications, etc that is needing to be spoonfed. Especially when they are easily answered questions with a quick Google search. Same thing goes when you continuously post threads asking questions that have already been answered and people tell you repeatedly to use the search function. Yet you refuse or expect us to blatantly point out the info to you. You ask to be spoonfed on here frequently.

I also can't comprehend why you feel you need a new thread for everything. There is a current applicant thread, you could have posted this in there. There is also a thread about applying and support/ranting about applying. This could have been posted there. You aren't any more special or deserving of your own individual thread for every little issue that you have. Interact with others that are applying this cycle. Start posting in the 2020 thread. Be proactive in getting that support that you want by actually participating with others here instead of going into your own pathetic thread to make it all about you and your issues. If you want your family to be more supportive, the first step would be to TELL THEM. I know they're all super stars with advanced degrees or whatever but they aren't mind readers. Tell them how you feel otherwise you aren't going to get anymore support than you currently are.

 

[Gemgrrrl]

I know no one in my family will ever get it, just as I'll never get what they've gone through. I don't expect them to. But I wouldn't mind some sort of attempt at support, or an attempt to at least trying to grasp the general concept of what I'm dealing with, let alone what I'm going through.

I don't expect them to help me fill out my full name, home address, past grades, etc.. on the application itself. I don't expect them to make sure I'm getting everything together for it, and making sure it's all submitted on time. That's my job, seeing as I'm the "adult"; I'm 22 and about to be a college graduate headed (hopefully) off to the professional, rigorous world of veterinary school. Spoon feeding is for grade school and babies. Yes they've read personal statements and reminded me countless times that they want me IS because they want me close by, and also because OS tuition is ridiculous (agreed). But their method of helping feels so much more like they're still trying to tell me what to do, instead of actively listening, offering unbiased advice, and then supporting me in whatever I choose to do. It's the time of my life where I'm supposed to be spreading my wings, and instead they're either ignoring my urge to fly completely or clipping my wings.

Wow I got really off topic. Sorry.

Ok, reality check time. Just because someone isn't supporting you in exactly the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't support you. No one is in your head, no one can read your mind. They can only do the best that they know how, based on their own experiences in life. If you reject it, that's on you. There is no such thing as unbiased advice. All advice is based on the givers personal experience and knowledge. If what you want someone to just listen and nod no matter what you say to them, go buy yourself a bobble-head to keep in your room.

Your parents are not guidance counselors, or therapists. It's not their job to give unbiased advice. Nor is it realistic to expect someone who made you out of their own bodies, then invested countless amounts of time, energy, money, and emotion into raising you for 22 years, to be unbiased. Or to support you in "whatever you choose to do". Your choices don't only affect you - they affect your parents too. I'm sure your parents want to enjoy their lives and retire one day. I'm sure they don't relish the idea of a 30 child living with them because they can't afford to live alone, since they have $250K in student loan debt and can't find a job.

 

[bunnity]

I was estranged from both my parents for 6 years. Working on year 7 of no contact with my extremely emotionally abusive dad. I made it through applications, vet school, and job hunting with zero help - financial or emotional. I am sure you can manage to apply to vet school with two living parents who clearly care about you but don't quite understand everything perfectly.

 

[rockatiel]

To piggyback, I just had a lengthy conversation with my mother during a 3 hour car ride about how I feel she doesn't understand what I'm really doing (I've had to explain the definition of VMCAS five times--she thought it was an awards show). But we came to the conclusion that the fact that she doesn't understand doesn't matter!

I have no idea what my parents sacrificed for me to even earn a bachelor's, and honestly, I may never want to know because it is heartbreaking. But the sacrifice was there and I have to do right by her by earning this professional degree. My application is COMPLETELY solitary. But I have support. I'm the first female in my entire bloodline, mother and father sides, to attend college, much less earn a professional degree (hopefully). My older brother was the first male. This is never a bad thing.

@bunnity i give you major props. I know that was hard. That is when the app process is solitary, not when support is there and you refuse to see it as such.

 

[jupiter394]

I would like to reply from the opposite side of this discussion. I am the mother of a pre-vet daughter who applied last cycle. It really just sounds like you need to reach out to your parents and let them know how you are feeling and communicate how they can best support you during this process. It sounds like they would like to be supportive, but maybe don't know how or are just falling into old patterns. Just know that they probably won't get it just right, but possibly closer to what is occurring now.

Good luck with your application process.

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

Yeah. This is about what I expected.

 

[twelvetigers]

Vet school has made us all into bitter arseholes.

(I'm not excluding myself, note.)

We used to poop butterflies and rainbows in here. Lol.

 

[Minnerbelle]

Vet school has made us all into bitter arseholes.

(I'm not excluding myself, note.)

We used to poop butterflies and rainbows in here. Lol.

Haha... Wait til you start out in practice. After enough a-hole clients crap on you when you go out of your way for them, and you hear so much BS and excuses about everything you're not even interested in hearing about, the level of jadedness skyrockets to new heights.

 

[pinkpuppy9]

I'm really not worried about the Joneses; I'm not worried about the 22 year olds of my group that are starting to get married and have kids. that was a sacrifice of education/careers that they made in favor of having a family and feeling (for themselves) whole and complete. And that's okay; it's what makes them feel useful and important.
However, getting married and having kids like the normal person never really appealed to me; that I'm working towards a greater good (and not giving up on something I've dreamed about for nearly all my life) is more important. Family and children can come after, once I've settled down personally/academically.

Kinda late to the party here, but...

It kinda sounds like you look down upon those who have chosen to have families. Just because someone has children doesn't ever mean they aren't working towards other goals. Having children/spouses doesn't require that you give up your personal goals, either. Maybe you just worded things poorly, but saying you aren't worried about other people but still passing judgment on their choices tells me two different stories.

To address how you feel unsupported, I think the amount of support someone needs is a very personal thing. While I have a decent relationship with my parents/siblings, I didn't feel the need for frequent contact during undergrad. My roommates, however, went home frequently and had phone conversations with their parents regularly. During VMCAS (both times), people knew I was applying and asked me questions occasionally. I hated talking about it and prefer to do things on my own. My parents knew it was a deeply stressful experience, so I think they avoided the topic.

Parents that haven't gone through similar application processes likely won't be the perfect sources of support for you. However, the fact that they are giving you encouragement should be enough to tell you they care about you and your success. If parents were perfect in every way, teen angst wouldn't exist.

 

[huevosgood]

Everyone has already mentioned great advice in the previous posts that I've seen so far so I'll just put in my 2 cents worth to this as well.

Remember to keep things in perspective as much as you can. Someone already mentioned this earlier, but lack of support might just be what you're merely perceiving, especially in such a stressful time such as applying for vet school. I know for me personally, my family (i.e. parents) were constantly asking me updates on the process and whether I had received acceptances or not. Lord only knows how irritating this was for me, but at the same time I had to realize and breathe because this was just one way of showing me their suport and concern for me. I personally think I have a very loving family and am blessed as such so this was just one of the cons I had to bear with because they were concerned for my future as much as I was.

And trust me, once you get into school you'll find many people on common ground with you so you don't need to worry about it. Right now might seem like a pain but it really is a passing pain; 10 years from now you most likely won't be remembering most of this loneliness you're feeling.