Should I stay in Medical School?

[Smiths11]

So I am about to start my 2nd year again, as I had to take a leave of absence in the middle of the year the first time around.

I've been utterly confused about whether I should go back or not. It's tough for me because I come from a non-trad background, and I actually have a very lucrative career opportunity that I can take up, if I choose not to go back.

Some reasons why I want to be a doctor:

1. I'm a very social person. I like working with people, and I like the camaraderie of working on a team. My other lucrative career opportunity has a downside in that I won't get exposure to other people so much.

2. I love EM and Anesthesiology. I fit the EM personality because I like juggling many things at once, I like working on my feet in a fast paced environment, and I like the unpredictability of the job. Anesthesiology I am interested in because I really enjoy Pharmacology. It was my favorite course during 2nd year.

Some reasons why I am thinking of not going back:

1. I have that other opportunity which I mentioned. It would consume less hours than Medical School would, and I would be earning good money rather than going into debt. It's a much better lifestyle vs. the next 6 years of misery I'd have to go through. And although the job doesn't involve working with my hands or with people like Medicine does, I do find it interesting; it's not like I don't enjoy the subject matter.

2. Family Medicine, Internal, Peds, or Psychiatry doesn't appeal to me. There's no guarantee that I'd score a Step 1 grade that's good enough for EM or Anesthesia, so there is that risk.

3. I will be incredibly miserable for the next 6-7 years. Working all those hours in 2nd year, 3rd year, and residency sounds so depressing. I can totally imagine myself sitting in a quiet library at 11pm at night trying to study for Step 1 and kicking myself for not taking this other opportunity. I'm scared of all the hours that I'll have to spend working during 3rd year and residency. It's depressing to even think about.

4. I'm 27 now, and I would like to get settled, meet a woman, get married, and have children hopefully in the next 5 years. I also want to travel the world rather than be locked into study mode for more than a half decade. It's hard to do this while in Medical School/Residency.

So there you have it. Any opinions will be appreciated. They say you should only go into Medicine if that's the only thing that you can imagine yourself doing. I can certainly imagine myself doing something else, but I still crave being the lead attending in an Emergency Room someday.

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[Nasrudin]

Take the other option and don't look back.

You're pro and con list says it all.

Good luck.

 

[alpinism]

So I am about to start my 2nd year again, as I had to take a leave of absence in the middle of the year the first time around.

I've been utterly confused about whether I should go back or not. It's tough for me because I come from a non-trad background, and I actually have a very lucrative career opportunity that I can take up, if I choose not to go back.

Some reasons why I want to be a doctor:

1. I'm a very social person. I like working with people, and I like the camaraderie of working on a team. My other lucrative career opportunity has a downside in that I won't get exposure to other people so much.

2. I love EM and Anesthesiology. I fit the EM personality because I like juggling many things at once, I like working on my feet in a fast paced environment, and I like the unpredictability of the job. Anesthesiology I am interested in because I really enjoy Pharmacology. It was my favorite course during 2nd year.

Some reasons why I am thinking of not going back:

1. I have that other opportunity which I mentioned. It would consume less hours than Medical School would, and I would be earning good money rather than going into debt. It's a much better lifestyle vs. the next 6 years of misery I'd have to go through. And although the job doesn't involve working with my hands or with people like Medicine does, I do find it interesting; it's not like I don't enjoy the subject matter.

2. Family Medicine, Internal, Peds, or Psychiatry doesn't appeal to me. There's no guarantee that I'd score a Step 1 grade that's good enough for EM or Anesthesia, so there is that risk.

3. I will be incredibly miserable for the next 6-7 years. Working all those hours in 2nd year, 3rd year, and residency sounds so depressing. I can totally imagine myself sitting in a quiet library at 11pm at night trying to study for Step 1 and kicking myself for not taking this other opportunity. I'm scared of all the hours that I'll have to spend working during 3rd year and residency. It's depressing to even think about.

4. I'm 27 now, and I would like to get settled, meet a woman, get married, and have children hopefully in the next 5 years. I also want to travel the world rather than be locked into study mode for more than a half decade. It's hard to do this while in Medical School/Residency.

So there you have it. Any opinions will be appreciated. They say you should only go into Medicine if that's the only thing that you can imagine yourself doing. I can certainly imagine myself doing something else, but I still crave being the lead attending in an Emergency Room someday.

From your post it sounds like you love the idea of being a physician more than the work itself. You mentioned you love EM and Anesthesiology but then also said the thought of "working all those hours in residency sounds so depressing."

Honestly, if you truly loved EM wouldn't you be looking foreword to residency and getting to practice emergency medicine? Residency is only 3yrs plus its not like you'll never have time for friends/family.

To address some of your reasons for not going back:

1. If you love working with people, usually M3/M4 is much more enjoyable than M1/M2. Sure, the hours are longer and you have less flexibility with your schedule, but it sure beats sitting by yourself in front of your laptop for 10hrs a day.

2. Luckily you don't need a high step 1 for either specialty. As long as you can pull a 210+ and get decent clinical grades you should have no trouble matching as long as you apply broadly including to all the less competitive programs in less desirable locations (assuming you're an MD student at a US school)

3. Can't help you there. Long hrs are a part of the job. You have to be okay with being in the hospital most of your life. However, EM and Gas (as i'm sure you're aware) usually have lighter schedules (plus no call) compared to other specialties.

4. All of those are possible during residency and as an attending plus you'll still be in your early 30s.

 

[Five0tomed68]

When you are 50, will you regret walking away from medicine?

In 7 years when you would be an attending, will you be working this lucrative career opportunity (if you get out of medicine) regretting the fact you aren't in the fast paced ED or overseeing several patients who are towing a medically induced line of life and death?

If you walk away, I'd imagine it would be quite difficult to get another acceptance. My wife already walked the trail and her favorite med school years were 3rd and especially 4th. It seems miserable, but after accomplishing it, you will look back proudly on your experience. I doubt that will be the case with whatever this knew endeavor may be. I also can't see this other career path being more personally rewarding.

However, if in 7 years, you will be able to examine your life while sitting in Fiji because you aren't paying med school loans back and you've been earning the entire 7 years, and be happy with where you are in life then it sounds like its career jump time.

Really, you are the only one who knows what is right for you, but think long and hard if you will regret taking the easier path. Personally, I would have more regret walking away from medical school and pursuing something for instant gratification than going through medical school and missing out on some of the pleasures ordinary people my age have. You are 27, you have plenty of time to travel, start a family, etc. Don't just think about the now, think about how you will think many years down the road when the harder stuff is over (let's face it, life as an attending isn't going to be easy).

 

[chiberian husky]

It's depressing to even think about.

^^^
If you find this depressing now then I worry for your future in medicine. I'm sorry, but if medical training makes you depressed &/or could lead to long term depression than you should take this to be a big fat warning sign. The evidence is already out: physicians suffer from high rates of burn-out, depression, and suicide. Life has ups and downs no matter how lucrative the path may be... but a career in medicine can have amazingly high rewards and staggeringly low low-points, can you handle that? Some people can survive it & some people can't.

 

[CW 2010]

I think you made your decision already. If studying in med school/going through rotations sounds depressing, then don't do it

 

[Smiths11]

Thanks for your replies, all. One of my biggest concerns, as I stated, is that I won't be able to meet/marry a woman for a long time. Some people pointed out that people have kids and get married while in school/residency. But I feel like this is much harder than in regular life. Divorce rate (I believe) increases during intern year for an obvious reason.

I value EM, but I also value my personal life. Life is short, and I fear that I will let more than a half decade of my life run by without having much of a fulfilling personal life for that amount of time.

 

[Nasrudin]

Think long term and don't take the advice of people who are known to be bitter about their choices. They are as biased as the premed pollyannas. Do some soul searching. Are you looking for assurance that leaving medicine is the right choice? Or are you genuinely stumped? That might guide you to make the best decision for you.

I think that must have been meant for me. ?.

Known to be bitter. Hmmm.

 

[Jewels86]

Thanks for your replies, all. One of my biggest concerns, as I stated, is that I won't be able to meet/marry a woman for a long time. Some people pointed out that people have kids and get married while in school/residency. But I feel like this is much harder than in regular life. Divorce rate (I believe) increases during intern year for an obvious reason.

I value EM, but I also value my personal life. Life is short, and I fear that I will let more than a half decade of my life run by without having much of a fulfilling personal life for that amount of time.

Sweetie, here's my 2 cents.

I work with a resident, EM, who I really believe was a sweet lady. But...she's snappy, has a million things on her mind, overwhelmed. Thankfully, I learned to not ask her questions or be a demanding nurse to her unless the patient really needs something. And I mean really needs something that's beyond my control. I was able to get on her "good" side, which I believe she has one but is clouded by the hell they and us nurse's endure, by asking about HER. To hell with the job, "How are you?"

So, my words to you are this...if your gut is saying to bag this, I'm sorry, I'd bag this. I picture someone at the altar, has much anxiety over marrying this individual, is nauseated, downright sick in their stomach over this decision. But intellectually, they reason it out and go through with the marriage. Only to find "the one" next month.

I'm sorry, but if you feel this much angst over this already, bag it. Yes, you may look back and do the "would of, should of", but your sanity is everything. That, money can't buy.

Take care and keep us posted!!

 

[lovesfall]

. Only you can know what the right decision for you is, but based on your assessment maybe it is worth giving the alternative path some serious consideration.

 

[Five0tomed68]

I seem to be in the minority. Med school could be very anxiety provoking, and I'm sure you worked hard to get where you are. Before you throw in the towel, I'm sure your institution has counselors and other support systems. I'd suggest talking to someone first (assuming you haven't tried it yet).

You're not the first med student to feel this way, and you wouldn't be the first to walk away. It's a tough decision. As stated above, keep us posted if you don't mind.

 

[Nasrudin]

I'm mainly talking about a general vibe of negativity I've seen in the non-trad forums from people further along in education. There are a couple of bitter ones, present company excluded. I believe you have given some thoughtful responses in other threads about your feelings about medicine. But I will admit that your post triggered my response. I've enjoyed your posts over the years. As a recent thread alluded to, there is not enough representation in these forums from non-trads who got through it all. By definition this leads to biased responses, and unfortunately they tend toward the negative recently. It's really hard for a premed to balance out the negative responses since we haven't been through it. But I just know there are happy doctors out there and I'd love to hear their views as well. That way when people are at a crossroads and making life-altering career decisions, SDN can be an even more accurate source of information.

I've come to love this website and it pains me when friends of mine tell me to stay away because it's not a good representation of reality in med school. But that's a tangent for another day.

There are artifacts particular to all stages that make any representation of "reality" difficult in conversation. One person feels the trunk, another the leg, etc. As the elephant in the dark parable goes. But there are orders of magnitude more cognitive distortions on the premed end. Obtaining entrance requires convincing yourself and all you encounter of every trapping of idealism and romance surrounding medicine.

Labels such as negative and bitter and happy are frivolous. The mosaic of mind states in one individual are too variable and complex and relative to make such labels useful. That I convey costs to a person on the fence with examples does not mean I show up to the ward I'm working on stoic and brooding.

 

[Scottish Chap]

So there you have it. Any opinions will be appreciated. They say you should only go into Medicine if that's the only thing that you can imagine yourself doing. I can certainly imagine myself doing something else, but I still crave being the lead attending in an Emergency Room someday.

On the surface it seems like you know what you ought to do. What you post in your last sentence is so far removed from reality as a practical attending. My advice would be to find somebody who knows you well (not on an internet forum), and ask them for candid advice based on what they know about you as a person.

Medical school (especially the preclinical years) are a mere whiff of what is to come. Residency and beyond are a whole other experience, and that's not even considering the financial implications.

Your level of motivati0n for wanting this has to be extremely high in the first place for you to jump through all the hoops just to make it--all while keeping your sanity--and, most importantly,while putting everything in your career before anything in your own life. That's what patients expect and deserve. It's what we signed up for.

Good luck with your decision.

 

[Scottish Chap]

Sweetie, here's my 2 cents.

I work with a resident, EM, who I really believe was a sweet lady. But...she's snappy, has a million things on her mind, overwhelmed. Thankfully, I learned to not ask her questions or be a demanding nurse to her unless the patient really needs something. And I mean really needs something that's beyond my control. I was able to get on her "good" side, which I believe she has one but is clouded by the hell they and us nurse's endure, by asking about HER. To hell with the job, "How are you?"

This. Nurses should not have to deal with physicians like this, but the reality is that they do. The ED is a known location for discontented, barely compassionate doctors to hide if the infrastructure is there to compensate for them. This career needs to be more than a white coat and a pay check. The burnout rate is high in EM for a reason. If there is misery now, expect it to worsen in droves. A resident in the institution where I work committed suicide recently (non-traditional student). Nobody saw it coming. Again, you need a high level of motivation to begin with just to make it. Anything less is dangerous ground for all concerned.

 

[jared_the_great]

I will be incredibly miserable for the next 6-7 years. Working all those hours in 2nd year, 3rd year, and residency sounds so depressing.

To me it sounds like this is key. You've already been through a year of med school and you find it miserable and find the thought of med school and residency depressing? Get out then.

I'm close to you age and I'm only committing to the long road of med school because I think I would rather do med school and residency for the next 7-8 years than continue in my current (fairly lucrative and in-demand) career. If I thought I would hate med school there's no way I would do it.

 

[wholeheartedly]

"Advice is what you seek when you already know the answer but wish you didn't"

 

[WhippleWhileWeWork]

I've come to love this website and it pains me when friends of mine tell me to stay away because it's not a good representation of reality in med school. But that's a tangent for another day.

There is certainly a dichotomy between what I read about medicine/medical school here and what my family and friends who are in all stages of it tell me. Personally the more perspectives and information I have, the better.

 

[Goro]

Time to get out while the getting out is good.

So I am about to start my 2nd year again, as I had to take a leave of absence in the middle of the year the first time around.

I've been utterly confused about whether I should go back or not. It's tough for me because I come from a non-trad background, and I actually have a very lucrative career opportunity that I can take up, if I choose not to go back.

Some reasons why I want to be a doctor:

1. I'm a very social person. I like working with people, and I like the camaraderie of working on a team. My other lucrative career opportunity has a downside in that I won't get exposure to other people so much.

2. I love EM and Anesthesiology. I fit the EM personality because I like juggling many things at once, I like working on my feet in a fast paced environment, and I like the unpredictability of the job. Anesthesiology I am interested in because I really enjoy Pharmacology. It was my favorite course during 2nd year.

Some reasons why I am thinking of not going back:

1. I have that other opportunity which I mentioned. It would consume less hours than Medical School would, and I would be earning good money rather than going into debt. It's a much better lifestyle vs. the next 6 years of misery I'd have to go through. And although the job doesn't involve working with my hands or with people like Medicine does, I do find it interesting; it's not like I don't enjoy the subject matter.

2. Family Medicine, Internal, Peds, or Psychiatry doesn't appeal to me. There's no guarantee that I'd score a Step 1 grade that's good enough for EM or Anesthesia, so there is that risk.

3. I will be incredibly miserable for the next 6-7 years. Working all those hours in 2nd year, 3rd year, and residency sounds so depressing. I can totally imagine myself sitting in a quiet library at 11pm at night trying to study for Step 1 and kicking myself for not taking this other opportunity. I'm scared of all the hours that I'll have to spend working during 3rd year and residency. It's depressing to even think about.

4. I'm 27 now, and I would like to get settled, meet a woman, get married, and have children hopefully in the next 5 years. I also want to travel the world rather than be locked into study mode for more than a half decade. It's hard to do this while in Medical School/Residency.

So there you have it. Any opinions will be appreciated. They say you should only go into Medicine if that's the only thing that you can imagine yourself doing. I can certainly imagine myself doing something else, but I still crave being the lead attending in an Emergency Room someday.

 

[QofQuimica]

So I am about to start my 2nd year again, as I had to take a leave of absence in the middle of the year the first time around.

I've been utterly confused about whether I should go back or not. It's tough for me because I come from a non-trad background, and I actually have a very lucrative career opportunity that I can take up, if I choose not to go back.

So there you have it. Any opinions will be appreciated. They say you should only go into Medicine if that's the only thing that you can imagine yourself doing. I can certainly imagine myself doing something else, but I still crave being the lead attending in an Emergency Room someday.

Agree with the others that you don't really want to be a physician; you're in love with the idea of being a physician. It's a recipe for burnout and disillusionment. Go back to your old job and be glad you figured this out now and not in a few more years when you would be too far in debt to be able to quit.

I'm mainly talking about a general vibe of negativity I've seen in the non-trad forums from people further along in education. There are a couple of bitter ones, present company excluded. I believe you have given some thoughtful responses in other threads about your feelings about medicine. But I will admit that your post triggered my response. I've enjoyed your posts over the years. As a recent thread alluded to, there is not enough representation in these forums from non-trads who got through it all. By definition this leads to biased responses, and unfortunately they tend toward the negative recently. It's really hard for a premed to balance out the negative responses since we haven't been through it. But I just know there are happy doctors out there and I'd love to hear their views as well. That way when people are at a crossroads and making life-altering career decisions, SDN can be an even more accurate source of information.

I've come to love this website and it pains me when friends of mine tell me to stay away because it's not a good representation of reality in med school. But that's a tangent for another day.

I would argue that people need to read/hear that negativity. All premeds need to know that what they're thinking of doing is hard. Nontrads with successful former careers have a lot more to lose than the average premed, and so you folks need to hear about the downsides even more.

Medical training is not all about you (saying "you" in general here) and what you think will be fulfilling. You go into this circus thinking it's all about you, and you're going to be disappointed when you don't get the showers of money, adulation, respect, prestige, scientific acumen, and whatever other nonsense people are spouting for why no career but medicine will do. The truth is that all of us here could succeed at many other jobs with a whole lot less lost opportunity cost than what it takes to become a physician. You should know that. You should believe that in your heart of hearts. And if you still want to do medicine anyway, well, at the very least, forewarned is forearmed.

 

[TheWeeIceMan]

It seems miserable, but after accomplishing it, you will look back proudly on your experience. I doubt that will be the case with whatever this knew endeavor may be. I also can't see this other career path being more personally rewarding.

I'm curious what you are basing these statements on? Not sure what stage of training you are in, but I would hesitate making these kind of blanket statements with very little knowledge of OP or his situation/aspirations/etc.

 

[Five0tomed68]

I'm curious what you are basing these statements on? Not sure what stage of training you are in, but I would hesitate making these kind of blanket statements with very little knowledge of OP or his situation/aspirations/etc.

I guess you missed "Really, you are the only one who knows what is right for you...." in the same post. I'd say that acknowledges my "very little knowledge of OP or his situation/aspirations/etc.".

Did you read the post in it's entirety? Did you skip the exaggerated part of living in Fiji because the OP hasn't been acruing debt and has been earning instead? Yet again, another attempt at pointing out that leaving school could be the OP best option and I don't know what is best. Being that I have "very little knowledge of OP or his situation/aspirations/etc." maybe I shouldn't have used Fiji. Maybe instead of Fiji, I should have just said insert "best case scenario here".

 

[Esquire]

Thanks for your replies, all. One of my biggest concerns, as I stated, is that I won't be able to meet/marry a woman for a long time. Some people pointed out that people have kids and get married while in school/residency. But I feel like this is much harder than in regular life. Divorce rate (I believe) increases during intern year for an obvious reason.

I value EM, but I also value my personal life. Life is short, and I fear that I will let more than a half decade of my life run by without having much of a fulfilling personal life for that amount of time.

To me, a young man of 27 need not worry about getting ball & chained. It's not like your ovaries will shrivel. There are plenty of women to meet, especially in medicine. Med school is at least 51% female. The entirety of medicine (nurses, PA's, techs, social workers, etc.) is probably 75% female. And your divorce beliefs are wrong. Highly educated people are less likely to divorce. Divorce during med school or residency is probably a result of all the aforementioned women rather than stress.

A young man of 27 also shouldn't be afraid of hard work. Med training blows for everyone, but almost everyone makes it through. Depending on specialty, the hard work is temporary. EM pays well for 3 days of work, so you'd have plenty of time and money to pursue other things in the prime of your 30s, or even completely leave medicine. If I were your dad, I'd tell you to lighten up, stop whining, go out and get some, and get back to work.

 

[AlbinoHawk DO]

I say quit. The post screams "I want to get out NOW."

 

[jl lin]

There are artifacts particular to all stages that make any representation of "reality" difficult in conversation. One person feels the trunk, another the leg, etc. As the elephant in the dark parable goes. But there are orders of magnitude more cognitive distortions on the premed end. Obtaining entrance requires convincing yourself and all you encounter of every trapping of idealism and romance surrounding medicine.

Labels such as negative and bitter and happy are frivolous. The mosaic of mind states in one individual are too variable and complex and relative to make such labels useful. That I convey costs to a person on the fence with examples does not mean I show up to the ward I'm working on stoic and brooding.

But do you show up looking like Kermit? Or humming his song, "It isn't easy being green?"

 

[Jewels86]

I say quit. The post screams "I want to get out NOW."

I worked with a resident (I think she quit) that was trying to help a patient. Her heart was all there. When the family member of the patient became irate, I stepped between them and tried to disarm them by telling them, "This is an acute facility and unfortunately, your love one has a chronic condition that really needs followup. Let me help you find a doc while this doctor (resident) goes to assess someone else." You know what this family member did...yelled at the resident doc, wrote her name down and said she's calling the board and her boss to report her. And for what...

That's what the real world is like. And it sucks. Personally, I'd do what the quoted poster stated and get out. It's so disheartening to genuinely help people, only to get spit on. After your eighth time experiencing this, you're going to wonder why you ever did this, especially if you're already feeling the burden of "Why". Take Care!!

 

[jl lin]

For heaven's sake. It's a service-oriented role, which includes a lot of getting dumped on by multiple sources--including those you seek to serve. This, Nas, is precisely why I said that there are a fair number of nurses with very strong experience that can relate, somewhat.

Healthcare is a battlefield. It's a battlefield where you must keep either a straight face or smiling and never show one ounce of frustration--where the playing field is often so far from fair and so far from the warm fuzzy of helping others in one particular way or another. In fact, I'd say that there is a lot in healthcare that is just plain abusive.

But you make it through. You help some folks, and some you don't, whilst others just don't care. Those that have the social acumen to give good lip service get ahead--and this is too true in all fields. It's just more nauseating to watch in healthcare--b/c it's supposed to be about caring for people, taking the highroad, striving for best practices. If it were about mere widgets or chocolate bars, it would all be so much easier to take.

If you are willing to serve in the battlefield of medicine and healthcare, b/c you actually like, for the most part, what you are doing--and because you know that someone's life MAY be just a tad bit better b/c of your service, than go for it.

If that is not your cup of tea, carry on with other aspirations.

At the end of the day, no one really cares if you are a doctor or nurse--except when they are in crisis and need help. After the crisis is averted or is some how reconciled, you are not worshiped--nor should you be. But you will be forgotten by most folks at some point. People are caught up in their own lives. They don't care about our titles for the most part. They may not even care about our salaries or knowledge base. People can be like the little kid that says, "Can you tie my shoe?" You tie their shoe--and God forbid if you attempt to teach them how to tie their shoe so that they don't keep tripping--and then they run off playing in their own lives.

I say if you question this now and you THINK you are interested in ED; consider the frustrations that the ED docs go through--especially in the inner city, every, single day. They feel pretty darn beat up by it. They may like many aspects of it; but there's a lot of suckage that they totally detest--and shiftwork doesn't help either.

Seems to me you answered your question in your original thread.

This is a service-oriented work. We serve people's healthcare needs to the best of our ability. There is little to almost no glamour in it--unless you hang with the schmoozers and know how to keep your face in the media.

 

[Nasrudin]

For the tiny part of that that was directed at me I don't disagree. I will be closer to and share more in common with the nurses in our field than I will with other docs. How our daily lives go will be far more interconnected with each other than with people outside the team.

What I was referring to is just simply the 10 years or so before that time. So....just that decade or so.

 

[Elewynne]

Many years ago I was in a graduate program I hated. I hated the work, I hated having no free time, it sucked. I took the route you are considering - rather than subject myself to more torture doing something I hated, I quit. In my particular case, it ended up kind of screwing me over for a while, as my job prospects were not as rosy as I had thought.

Looking back with more maturity, I regret not sticking it out. Even if I didn't continue in that exact field, having the advanced degree would've made some things in my subsequent life a lot easier. While not exactly the same situation, I also was horrified at working hard at something I wasn't sure I wanted, and I took what seemed to be the more appealing, easy money route. Turns out that route didn't match up with my expectations of glory.

Best you can do is think long and hard about if you're having a case of "grass is greener" and/or are just afraid of a bit of hard work to get ahead in life. Life is going to be hard work regardless of what you're doing; most of us don't get easy money and endless beach vacations. Be very honest about the reality of both your choices.

 

[TheWeeIceMan]

I guess you missed "Really, you are the only one who knows what is right for you...." in the same post. I'd say that acknowledges my "very little knowledge of OP or his situation/aspirations/etc.".

Did you read the post in it's entirety? Did you skip the exaggerated part of living in Fiji because the OP hasn't been acruing debt and has been earning instead? Yet again, another attempt at pointing out that leaving school could be the OP best option and I don't know what is best. Being that I have "very little knowledge of OP or his situation/aspirations/etc." maybe I shouldn't have used Fiji. Maybe instead of Fiji, I should have just said insert "best case scenario here".

I read your post in it's entirety. I still don't see how your disclaimers mitigate the statements that I quoted, such as saying that you doubt he will look back prouldly on his other career or that it won't be as rewarding as medicine.

 

[jl lin]

For the tiny part of that that was directed at me I don't disagree. I will be closer to and share more in common with the nurses in our field than I will with other docs. How our daily lives go will be far more interconnected with each other than with people outside the team.

What I was referring to is just simply the 10 years or so before that time. So....just that decade or so.

Got it. Can't at all disagree with the obvious squeeze of about 1/7 to 1/8 of one's life. It's a brutal bite, and there is no way around it.

 

[jl lin]

Many years ago I was in a graduate program I hated. I hated the work, I hated having no free time, it sucked. I took the route you are considering - rather than subject myself to more torture doing something I hated, I quit. In my particular case, it ended up kind of screwing me over for a while, as my job prospects were not as rosy as I had thought.

Looking back with more maturity, I regret not sticking it out. Even if I didn't continue in that exact field, having the advanced degree would've made some things in my subsequent life a lot easier. While not exactly the same situation, I also was horrified at working hard at something I wasn't sure I wanted, and I took what seemed to be the more appealing, easy money route. Turns out that route didn't match up with my expectations of glory.

Best you can do is think long and hard about if you're having a case of "grass is greener" and/or are just afraid of a bit of hard work to get ahead in life. Life is going to be hard work regardless of what you're doing; most of us don't get easy money and endless beach vacations. Be very honest about the reality of both your choices.

Also some very good insight. I thought this thread was going to be easy.

 

[DocWinter]

As someone who entered the ring single and hitting the upper 20's, I can commiserate with you on the questions regarding a spouse. Medicine is demanding. Fortunately for me, I met and married during my postbac and it's the best thing ever.

I have to agree with Elewynee who posted above. I don't know your situation. I know that I've passed up 3 job offers in the past 30 months while I was working to get accepted. The offers are tempting. Making good bank without debt and struggle on one hand, in your late 20's, vs making nothing, struggling and enduring dense, dry medical school.

If the job offer wasn't that good, would you still make the leap? If it meant doing a limbo year while you figure out what you really want, would you still leave?
Point - don't leave for this offer and money. Leave because you really want to. The offers and money come around now and again. 2nd year of medical school comes only once.

 

[Smiths11]

Hello all,

First off, I apologize for not replying to some of your messages in the latter half of the thread. I did go back to school and I got caught up, and didn't get a chance to respond. I appreciate the time all of you took in sharing your words and wisdom.

I'd like to provide an update: The good news is that I successfully repeated the first semester of 2nd year, and got B's and C's in my classes. One more semester to go.

The bad news is, I am STILL confused about whether this is right for me or not. I still don't know if I'm feeling cold feet and hating the books like most other 2nd years; OR if I really don't care about medicine. My next semester is about to start in days and I keep having an urge to pull out.

To strip down to the bare bones of this dilemma, let me be honest with everyone here including myself:

The Pathology of diseases and Immune mechanisms don't interest me. Pharmacology and Microbiology kind of interest me, but not a whole damn lot. I like talking and interacting with people, and helping others makes me feel good; definitely when compared to cubicle work. But (I think) my urge to help people who are suffering from diseases, assessing their problems, fixing their wounds is mediocre at best. I don't have a burning desire or fire inside of me to do this, and I can assure you that I never did. Never when I was a kid did I go around saying "I want to be a doctor". But I did shadow in the ER, and the unpredictability did excite me. And like I said, I do enjoy Pharmacology. For this reason, and because I'm a thinking man, Anesthesiology seems appealing to me.

When I was a kid, I had other interests (in economics/investments) and this is the business that I'd be going into if I switch careers. And frankly, I'm pretty damn good at it too. But it's because of the way I was raised, it was almost as if I was brainwashed to believe that Medicine is a great & safe career for anyone, and when in doubt, become a Doctor. May sound silly to you all, but when exposed to this kind of thinking ever since birth, it becomes a part of you. Before I went to Medical school I was in the business/economics world, and my job sucked. This little voice ingrained inside of me said: "Should have listened to my parents. Just become a Doctor now and everything will be okay." And what a stupid mistake it was to listen to it and make such a rash decision. I NEVER appreciated that going through this route will be like climbing Mt. Everest x10. And of course, my folks never once even questioned such a quick 180, they were just happy that I finally "saw the light".

But now it's so hard, psychologically, to walk away. And this is coming from someone who does have a great alternate opportunity. I can't imagine how it's like for those who don't have alternate plans. I can still get out now because my debt is low. But the fear of regret/embarrassment/failure/boredom and loss of confidence of believing in myself are getting to the best of me.

Thanks so much for reading. This has been so overwhelming and I just wish I can re-do the last 5 years of my life. Any and all advice will be appreciated. I promise this time I will respond.

 

[FutureD0C17]

Tough situation and I have to imagine it's full on torture slogging through all the material if you aren't even interested in the patho/immune response and micro only somewhat interests you! I love all this stuff and it's a big part of what's driving me toward medicine. I'm guessing most people on this forum feel the same(could be wrong though?), and a small %, like yourself, get pushed or nudged into medicine.

At least you have options, many people don't have any sort of safety net, but you also need to consider possible regret down the road if you bow out now. You don't want to live the rest of your life saying "what if" if you aren't near 100% sure. Your parents will be disappointed from the sounds of it, but it isn't their lives, you have to live for you. Would it be too late to get out after step1 if your score doesn't align with Anesthesiology goals? Good luck, I hope everything works out for you.

 

[The_Sunny_Doc]

Not sure if anyone has suggested that you consider non clinical careers after you graduate. I'm planning on working at a digital health start up later on in life when I have my MD or DO, rather than just going for it now as a 20-something. Physician entrepreneurs get to combine their business acumen and creativity with their knowledge of medicine and patient care. You probably wouldn't even need to get your MBA (an arguably useless degree) with your background. It's a very long road to get there, but that's why you gotta take it day by day.

The grass is always greener. My friends working at McKinsey and Bain are working 80+ hours a week, too.

I do share your concerns about finding a partner. Honestly though, it's just as hard to find a good match in the "real world." At least in med school and/or on your university campus, you'll be surrounded by intellectual curious and motivated (and hopefully, compassionate!) people. Maybe you're more of a social butterfly than me, but I'm find it difficult to meet good (kind, nerdy, ambitious) men out in the working world.

 

[IcyMedPath]

I'm planning on working at a digital health start up later on in life when I have my MD/DO

Where do you study? I never knew of an MD/DO granting program

 

[The_Sunny_Doc]

Where do you study? I never knew of an MD/DO granting program

Not sure which school I will be attending yet. Have until May to decide!

 

[QofQuimica]

OP, I told you last summer to get out now while you can still afford to quit. I'm telling you again. Don't blow a decade of your life and a quarter million of your precious dollars out of sheer hubris just to become an angry, bitter attending at the end. You know medicine ain't for you. Quit now while you still can.

 

[Smiths11]

OP, I told you last summer to get out now while you can still afford to quit. I'm telling you again. Don't blow a decade of your life and a quarter million of your precious dollars out of sheer hubris just to become an angry, bitter attending at the end. You know medicine ain't for you. Quit now while you still can.

Yes you're probably right.

I'm worried about some sort of withdrawal (no pun intended) symptoms, i.e. depression. I tend to have quite an OCD personality, and terrified of making big changes as such, and being drawn away from my normal environment. I know this stuff is irrelevant in what my decision should be, but I can't help but have it play a major factor for me.

As FutureDOC17 suggested, maybe I should at least take Step 1 with the goal of hitting it out of the park, so then I have some more certainty of my future as to whether or not it can be competitive.

 

[Law2Doc]

Couple of thoughts.
(1) being a doctor is not for everyone. Make sure you think you will enjoy the career role as much as the title/idea. Some of your (OP) notions of EM aren't very fleshed out.
(2) med school is not the same as being a doctor. Learning medicine on the wards is very different than being in a classroom. Plenty of people thrive once the more clinical aspects kick in.
(3) being a resident, especially an intern, is often long and hard and brutal and isolating and scary and sleep depriving. However I'm not sure I would call it miserable or depressing in total. There were lots of good days. Good comraderies. Funny stories. While I wouldn't ever want to do it again, I certainly do look back on aspects as a positive, things that shaped me into a better doctor. I think it's much as war veterans might look back fondly in their war stories -- you'd never do it again but you'd miss not having it and would $uck as a doctor without it.
(4) as a male, finding a spouse and starting a family won't be harder in a few years as a doctor -- you have no biological clock and doctors are higher up on the dating food chain, so that's just a silly argument. Lots of people date and get married and even have kids while still training so you really shouldn't have the mentality that things need to be in hold. Life happens even while in training.
(5) OP has to decide for himself what to do. All if our views are skewed based on our own choices. For most of us the decision would be a no brainer. But we wouldn't be throwing around phrases like being depressed about being miserable for the next five years like the OP is.

 

[cabinbuilder]

Thanks for your replies, all. One of my biggest concerns, as I stated, is that I won't be able to meet/marry a woman for a long time. Some people pointed out that people have kids and get married while in school/residency. But I feel like this is much harder than in regular life. Divorce rate (I believe) increases during intern year for an obvious reason.

I value EM, but I also value my personal life. Life is short, and I fear that I will let more than a half decade of my life run by without having much of a fulfilling personal life for that amount of time.

I was divorced with kids BEFORE I went to medical school. Second marriage stayed strong all the way through. Your fears are not founded.

 

[cabinbuilder]

Yes you're probably right.

I'm worried about some sort of withdrawal (no pun intended) symptoms, i.e. depression. I tend to have quite an OCD personality, and terrified of making big changes as such, and being drawn away from my normal environment. I know this stuff is irrelevant in what my decision should be, but I can't help but have it play a major factor for me.

As FutureDOC17 suggested, maybe I should at least take Step 1 with the goal of hitting it out of the park, so then I have some more certainty of my future as to whether or not it can be competitive.

Dang, go to counselling already.

 

[IOMDoc]

You sound like me...I can tell you my story if you want but I wont impose it on you. Suffice it to say that I was miserable too and got real lucky to find a non-traditional medical role I could live with. You may not be lucky that way. If you think it is bad in med school just wait for residency. So my advice to you is to get out while you are ahead. Be brave and just tell them it's not for you. No shame in that. It's all about quality of life. What is the quality of your life going to be like if you continue down the wrong path? If you want to talk further feel free to IM me.

 

[Straw Hat]

If you enjoy helping people / being social but hate medicine then take that other opportunity and start up or volunteer for an organization in your off time. I've had some awesome experiences in healthcare and some, i repeat some but not the majority of the patients I've had are very thankful. I've met some cool people and I've met a lot of rude, mean people. I've seen WWII vets shrivel away into nothing and develop horrible bed sores all over which I can only assume is an awful end of life. Or 40 year olds dying of cancer with their wife and 3 kids at the foot of the bed bawling. Healthcare isn't pretty. If you hate it now you're gonna have an extra hard time coping with the tough stuff. Somehow I still enjoy it and I think I could find a niche in medicine where I'd be very happy.

My experiences volunteering at Miracle League where we help cognitively impaired kids play baseball has been equally rewarding and fun and a lot less mentally taxing. I still enjoy being in the hospital and really like medicine/science so there's not many other options/opportunities I'd consider. You sound like you don't like medicine and are lucky enough to have outs. So take your out and go start up a nonprofit or something beneficial to society in your free time.

 

[ehwhatsupdoc]

OP would you still consider medicine if you had $2.5 million sitting in the bank? If you are a man of many interests I would quit now as to not waste more time. Being a physician is a job just like any job. However there are differences just like in any service oriented job where you have to make sacrifices (some sacrifice their lives like fire fighters and police officers - at least medicine won't ask you to give up your life in the call of duty). But the thing that is common with all of these service oriented jobs is that you will be remembered when you save someone's life (someone earlier mentioned this wasn't so but I disagree) and you'll be making a difference even if they forget to thank you. What I like about the process is the challenge, but I wouldn't call it a calling like many do. If I was rich I would still consider medicine because I would get bored doing anything else. But who knows maybe I'll find another passion before I commit to medicine. For me making money trading or investing is fun but I can see how it would get boring and unfulfilling after awhile. Live a life of service and you'll be happy in what ever you decide.

 

[j4pac]

PROS- I like the lifestyle

CONS- I hate everything else about medicine

Dude...get out while you have manageable debt.

 

[italiancowgirl]

Yes you're probably right.

I'm worried about some sort of withdrawal (no pun intended) symptoms, i.e. depression. I tend to have quite an OCD personality, and terrified of making big changes as such, and being drawn away from my normal environment. I know this stuff is irrelevant in what my decision should be, but I can't help but have it play a major factor for me.

As FutureDOC17 suggested, maybe I should at least take Step 1 with the goal of hitting it out of the park, so then I have some more certainty of my future as to whether or not it can be competitive.

I want to start by saying that I had a strong emotional response to your posts and that may show in my response. I come to medicine after first struggling through a rare medical condition. I am lucky to have survived and it wasn't because my doctor was respected but because she fought incredibly hard to find answers. With treatment I am perfectly fine, but without it I would have died. I had completely stopped school and had to rebuild my life one shaky step at a time. I have fought very hard to be healthy and strong and to pursue medicine in the hopes that my dedication and hard work can change the lives of others.

If you don't feel driven to do medicine DON'T continue on. I am sorry but you are spending so much time thinking about yourself and though that is understandable, the reason you go into medicine should be (in my opinion) because you have to help people with medicine. You have already stated that is not what drives you. I wish you the best but I would never want to be your patient if you do become a physician.
Do not waste the time of the doctors and professors who are trying their best to pour knowledge and passion into you. There are hundreds of other students who would have coveted that spot and the hours studying. Let them continue on and go find a different way to succeed, help others, do what you are good at, and do what you enjoy. Have you considered taking your understanding of medicine and your economic background to help hospitals to be successful financially? Or you could use your understanding of economic development to teach medically focused non-profits in your spare time. Use your pharmacology enjoyment to find a spot in a drug company.

For the sake of the patients, don't become a doctor. Capability is only part of the job! Passion and determination to help the patients changes the impact you make in medicine!