Should I talk to my sr. tech about my problems as a new pharmacy technician?

[windspirit]

Short a sweet, I hate my job. I hate crying before every shift and stressing out about my job a day or even DAYS before going in! I hate that I am annoying and ask too many questions. I hate the feeling of worrying that I might get fired for sucking so bad. I hate coming in every day and having my coworkers looking at me as if I am a burden. I mean, it's true, but I am also very shy so it makes me just want to cry. I hate how my ph. manager is hinting at terminating me to my face. I hate how I don't learn stuff because it's all so confusing to taught to me too fast. I hate how my managers talk down to me or just plain ignore me.
I hate my job.
I do want to get better. I DO want to love going to work because who wants to go to a job they hate for years on end? I mean, I started in August, but I have my own bills to pay so I can't just quit. I do want to so bad. I have been depressed for a long time. I have been missing the times when I didn't have to go to work, not because I'm lazy, but because my job really makes me uncomfortable to even think about. I love working and keeping busy. I just hate how it's the pharmacy. I wish I was at a pharmacy with no customers, regular work work work. No retail. I hate retail.
Should I reach out to my senior technician? She's the only one who knew me since I was a student intern and she is very professional and friendly. But I also have a feeling that talking about my problem to ANYONE would be a very bad thing because I know you can't do that at a job. You can't tell the people who hired you that you don't think you're fit for the job. You can't tell them that you suck in any way because you told them when you were hired that you could handle it all. That you would be a fast learner and would be an asset to the company. Would anyone one of you talk to your senior tech/manager about 'personal problems'?
I even feel like maybe I should talk to one of the front store managers. I am not very good friend with, but I feel the most comfortable with one of those managers, even more so than the pharmacy staff. But I would hate to say anything that would embarass me.
So. Should I stick this out and hope and try to get better, or should I talk to someone about this?? I would talk about how I feel like I am not "Reaching my potential".
What scares me even more is that the managers have private meeting with each pharmacy technician. They even had a private meeting with me as an intern, which they basically told me I was doing a "good job" but they only said that because I was JUST an intern. Didn't do much. I am so afraid and dread the day when they ask for a private meeting with me and tell me all my mistakes and I have to explain why I suck and why I am going to "get better".
Help me. Please.

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[Plumppenguincat]

I'm so sorry you feel this way, and if you ever want someone to vent to/talk to, please, please feel free to DM me. Do you have family/close friends you can talk to about this?

Before I say anything else, I hope you'll put yourself first. A job is a job, but it's so important to put your happiness and mental health above that. (I totally feel you, though, because everybody has bills to pay, so it's easier said than done to let go of a job like this). Is there anybody who can give you support/help? Do you think maybe you could benefit from talking to anyone about some of the anxiety you have about this job? I'm Canadian, so I don't know all of the American resources, but please find help if you need to (https://www.mentalhealth.gov/talk/young-people/index.html).

You know what, you started 3 months ago. You should be asking questions. I think it's great when people ask questions. I mean, you don't know what you don't know, and if anything now's the time you should be encouraged to ask questions, make informed decisions, and learn. What kind of training have you been offered thus far? If you think there're large gaps somewhere in training, e.g. third party adjudication, compounding, etc. then maybe you can approach management, a trusted pharmacist, or maybe that trusted technician and ask for more training in that area. It's better to ask questions than to not ask and inadvertently break a rule here or there.

And you know what, everybody has days where they feel like they suck at their job, especially early on. I don't think anyone expects you to be perfect at this point. Maybe it's a matter of perspective, or maybe the people around you have been giving you nonverbal or verbal cues. But maybe instead of waiting for management to call you in, maybe you can approach management (or maybe a pharmacist you're comfortable with) and ask for feedback. Let them know how you're feeling, because sometimes it's a case where both sides don't know how the other is feeling/doing. Maybe they think you've been getting adequate training, when that isn't so true.

AND you were hired for a reason! They chose you, and obviously there were wonderful qualities they were excited about when they hired you. Let that be a little ounce of positivity that carries you through the next few days. It'll get better!

 

[fremontRx]

My suggestion is find another job. Not all pharmacies are the same, some have mean staff, some have helpful people who are willing to train you. If it's a chain pharmacy, try to find a different chain (ie. Walgreens vs. CVS). Talk to the district manager that you would like to switch to another pharmacy because you feel you cannot learn from this pharmacy (or you feel you're bullied). You also should consider seeing a counselor at your school and talk about your frustration, they will help you to figure out the reasons. I think you don't have experience, that's why you have a lot of questions. Everybody has to go through this step just like you, so please don't be discouraged. I believe that if you switch to another work environment, you will feel different. Take care.