Sob story or short and sweet?

[marilynmagnolia]

When it comes to the application essays and interviews, how much personal struggle info is too much?

For instance, should I go testes to the wall and tell them my dad is an alcoholic and on meth who is basically homeless and threatens to kill me and my dogs from time to time? That my mom is a pill-popping, hypochondratic, bi-polar alcoholic. My ex-crackhead brother is currently in jail for sexual assault. My older sister couldn't deal with the BS so she isolated herself from the family (although she's pretty normal). I was homeless at 17 bc my mother had a mid-life crisis and went to jail. Got my GED. Joined the Army, deployed at 20. I got a divorce during my undergrad bc my husband cheated on me and had a baby w/ someone else. None of my family have helped me or supported me through my path to med-school. BUT, here I am. Almost done, killer GPA, killer resume, etc...

Or... should I just be like: "My family has been as supportive as they can" And leave it at that?

I know Med-schools want to hear some struggle but how much is too much? I don't want them thinking I'm as crazy as my fam...

Any advice would be awesome, thanks!

Marilyn

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[claduva94]

I'd go a middle ground but I'd say closer to the latter.

 

[marilynmagnolia]

Lol. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Of course, I'd never be as divulgent as my first paragraph, just speaking freely here on SDN since no one knows me.

Thanks.

 

[Lamel]

I'd definitely mention the difficulties growing up, especially the homelessness as these are substantial issues. I'd probably not go into too much detail about the drug stuff and keep it short and sweet, but do mention how it both negatively and positively affected you. I'd probably leave the husband cheating part out (sorry to hear). You have a very admirable life story, and you just need to balance it between explaining your struggles and how they shaped you vs. coming off as a cry-baby and blaming others.

Edit: I'd probably save most of it for secondaries that ask about challenges though. Put it in the PS if it pertains to your interest in medicine in a strong way.

 

[NickNaylor]

I wouldn't mention that stuff out of the blue without prompting. I think it's appropriate assuming that it's germane to a question that's asked. You can go into however much or little detail as you feel comfortable. That said, I wouldn't go overboard. Just make sure that what you're talking about is relevant.

 

[DermViser]

For instance, should I go testes to the wall and tell them my dad is an alcoholic and on meth who is basically homeless and threatens to kill me and my dogs from time to time? That my mom is a pill-popping, hypochondratic, bi-polar alcoholic. My ex-crackhead brother is currently in jail for sexual assault. My older sister couldn't deal with the BS so she isolated herself from the family (although she's pretty normal). I was homeless at 17 bc my mother had a mid-life crisis and went to jail. Got my GED. Joined the Army, deployed at 20. I got a divorce during my undergrad bc my husband cheated on me and had a baby w/ someone else. None of my family have helped me or supported me through my path to med-school. BUT, here I am. Almost done, killer GPA, killer resume, etc...

 

[dbeast]

I'm a little bit of a gambler at heart so my take is to leave most of it in... the only stuff to take out is anything that could be indirectly attributed to your character. Some (not me, but some) might make the assumption that choosing an a-hole of a husband at age 20 shows poor judgment on your part since it ultimately takes two to get married.

On the other hand, all the stuff with your parents/homelessness is entirely out of your control, and you rose above all that badness. Keep it in.

EDIT: Also goes without saying that I'm sure you'll do this artfully. Crackhead and pill-popper might be accurate qualifier words but... ya know...

 

[TheStudyOfLife]

I'd go a middle ground but I'd say closer to the latter.

Agreed..

Try not to sound like you're begging for sympathy and the only way they could offer you that would be with a fat acceptance letter.

However, much respect for putting this all behind you and focusing on your dream in medicine. Individuals like yourself automatically are a step-ahead others as far as motivation and determination.

Best of luck.

 

[marilynmagnolia]

Thanks guys. Please note, I was attempting melodramatic humor in my opening paragraph (note, "attempting"). I would NEVER say these things to anyone in that manner. Sheesh, my friends do not know this stuff. I suppose I took full advantage of my anonymity...

Nonetheless, all this info if very helpful! Of course, nothing will be mentioned unless asked. I am not looking for sympathy, bc no one needs to feel sorry for me. I'm awesome! Lol. However, I read recently that it is important to list certain hardships. I def think that I will include the on-my-own-at-17 deal and the military experience. There is a slight dip in my grades attributed to the divorce, but it was only 2B's in one semester, with a total 3.87 GPA so I doubt they'll even notice...

With only 5300 characters to initially captivate my audience, I most certainly will be keeping this short and sweet.

TY, and good luck everyone!

 

[marilynmagnolia]

I'm a little bit of a gambler at heart so my take is to leave most of it in... the only stuff to take out is anything that could be indirectly attributed to your character. Some (not me, but some) might make the assumption that choosing an a-hole of a husband at age 20 shows poor judgment on your part since it ultimately takes two to get married.

On the other hand, all the stuff with your parents/homelessness is entirely out of your control, and you rose above all that badness. Keep it in.

EDIT: Also goes without saying that I'm sure you'll do this artfully. Crackhead and pill-popper might be accurate qualifier words but... ya know...

Lol, he's actually not an a-hole. He just F-ed up and didn't know how to deal with it. Stuff happens. But I agree abt not mentioning that. I also don't want them thinking I'm a quitter! (Bc I so am not. Totally fought for that ish. Just lost)

 

[marilynmagnolia]

You mean "". I would not be interested in medicine so hard-core if I hadn't been through all this. I'd prob just be sitting around looking pretty and having babies like most ladies in my area. (No offense to them, SAH moms are awesome.)

 

[NickNaylor]

Thanks guys. Please note, I was attempting melodramatic humor in my opening paragraph (note, "attempting"). I would NEVER say these things to anyone in that manner. Sheesh, my friends do not know this stuff. I suppose I took full advantage of my anonymity...

Nonetheless, all this info if very helpful! Of course, nothing will be mentioned unless asked. I am not looking for sympathy, bc no one needs to feel sorry for me. I'm awesome! Lol. However, I read recently that it is important to list certain hardships. I def think that I will include the on-my-own-at-17 deal and the military experience. There is a slight dip in my grades attributed to the divorce, but it was only 2B's in one semester, with a total 3.87 GPA so I doubt they'll even notice...

With only 5300 characters to initially captivate my audience, I most certainly will be keeping this short and sweet.

TY, and good luck everyone!

I didn't realize this was in the context of your PS. In that case, I would make this info only a small portion of your statement UNLESS it has a clear and direct relationship to your decision to become a physician. The PS is NOT a biographical piece. It is NOT the place to share all aspects of your life that aren't mentioned anywhere else. It IS the place to talk about why you want to be a physician and what led you to that decision. If what you want to talk about has no bearing to those two questions, then save it for another portion of your app.

 

[marilynmagnolia]

I didn't realize this was in the context of your PS. In that case, I would make this info only a small portion of your statement UNLESS it has a clear and direct relationship to your decision to become a physician. The PS is NOT a biographical piece. It is NOT the place to share all aspects of your life that aren't mentioned anywhere else. It IS the place to talk about why you want to be a physician and what led you to that decision. If what you want to talk about has no bearing to those two questions, then save it for another portion of your app.

I am talking abt both PS and interviews. And great, now I'm just confused. I've read a few things suggesting to list examples of "personal struggle" in the PS. I 'spose I really just need to think abt what most drove me to go into medicine, and like you say, leave the other info out. It is just difficult bc all those things had/have an influence on my decision. I did not want to be a physician growing up, didn't consider it, but everything that I have been through has compounded and contributed to my decision. (Psychoanalytically, I think the lack of support has instilled a deep need for me to help others.)

Thanks Nick for the reiteration of the "2 questions", that will actually help quite a bit.

It seems like I have some pondering to do. Anyone have personal experience with the PS and interviews while having a similar situation as mine? What did you do? Was it successful?

Thanks y'all!

-Marilyn

 

[NickNaylor]

I am talking abt both PS and interviews. And great, now I'm just confused. I've read a few things suggesting to list examples of "personal struggle" in the PS. I 'spose I really just need to think abt what most drove me to go into medicine, and like you say, leave the other info out unless it is asked in an interview. It is just difficult bc all those things had/have an influence on my decision. I did not want to be a physician growing up, didn't consider it, but everything that I have been through has compounded and contributed to my decision. (Psychoanalytically, I think the lack of support has instilled a deep need for me to help others.)

Anyway, it seems like I have some pondering to do. Anyone have personal experience with the PS and interviews while having a similar situation as mine? What did you do? Was it successful?

Thanks y'all!

-Marilyn

There are typically opportunities to present this kind of information in many secondaries. People often misunderstand what the purpose of the PS is (particularly other pre-med students). Again, the point of the is to talk about what led you to become interested in medicine and why you think you're prepared to do that. Only you can know where these experiences are related to that. It is NOT the place to just throw in random informstion. Many people seem to think that's one of its uses, but it really isn't.

 

[AlphaKY1]

I admire your character and perseverance. So, like, if you're lookin for a new husband...

 

[marilynmagnolia]

There are typically opportunities to present this kind of information in many secondaries. People often misunderstand what the purpose of the PS is (particularly other pre-med students). Again, the point of the is to talk about what led you to become interested in medicine and why you think you're prepared to do that. Only you can know where these experiences are related to that. It is NOT the place to just throw in random informstion. Many people seem to think that's one of its uses, but it really isn't.

You have actually cleared some questions up bc I DID read that the PS is a place to throw in random stuff not mentioned anywhere else. Your advice shall be the litmus for what I write in my PS.

 

[Goro]

We like to see people who have overcome great odds. You have the classic "compelling story". No need to go into every pathology of every family member; mention that you had an extremely dysfunctional family that involved both mental illness, criminal behavior, infidelity, and drug addiction.

Many thanks for your service to our country!

When it comes to the application essays and interviews, how much personal struggle info is too much?

For instance, should I go testes to the wall and tell them my dad is an alcoholic and on meth who is basically homeless and threatens to kill me and my dogs from time to time? That my mom is a pill-popping, hypochondratic, bi-polar alcoholic. My ex-crackhead brother is currently in jail for sexual assault. My older sister couldn't deal with the BS so she isolated herself from the family (although she's pretty normal). I was homeless at 17 bc my mother had a mid-life crisis and went to jail. Got my GED. Joined the Army, deployed at 20. I got a divorce during my undergrad bc my husband cheated on me and had a baby w/ someone else. None of my family have helped me or supported me through my path to med-school. BUT, here I am. Almost done, killer GPA, killer resume, etc...

Or... should I just be like: "My family has been as supportive as they can" And leave it at that?

I know Med-schools want to hear some struggle but how much is too much? I don't want them thinking I'm as crazy as my fam...

Any advice would be awesome, thanks!

Marilyn

 

[marilynmagnolia]

I admire your character and perseverance. So, like, if you're lookin for a new husband...

Not until I complete residency, at least. Lol.

Thanks for the comp!

 

[hoihaie]

make it sound like you still love your family despite the struggles you had to go through. don't blame them though - never blame your family.

 

[marilynmagnolia]

We like to see people who have overcome great odds. You have the classic "compelling story". No need to go into every pathology of every family member; mention that you had an extremely dysfunctional family that involved both mental illness, criminal behavior, infidelity, and drug addiction.

Many thanks for your service to our country!

Thank you for the advice, could you please elaborate who is "we". Thank you

 

[claduva94]

Thank you for the advice, could you please elaborate who is "we". Thank you

He is a member of an admissions committee.

 

[Goro]

Also, Americans by nature love a come from behind story!

Thank you for the advice, could you please elaborate who is "we". Thank you

 

[marilynmagnolia]

make it sound like you still love your family despite the struggles you had to go through. don't blame them though - never blame your family.

Lol. crazy thing is I DO love my family. I'm still close w/ everyone but my Dad (only bc he threatened my dogs, no one threatens my dogs). I'm like the rock on my mom's side, really. I don't blame them, for what? Maybe if I myself was a druggie/alchie barefoot and preggers then I may have some reason to blame. But, as far as I'm concerned, all the BS has molded me into a very mature, strong and interesting person. It is hard to convey sincerity through text, but my purpose of mentioning any of this is NOT too cast blame or elicit sympathy. Instead to lay a foundation for who I really am.

But I agree with the general concensus, somewhere in the middle. "I've struggled; I've had to get where I am by myself, but I'm a better person who wants to help others become better people as well." Something like that...

 

[marilynmagnolia]

Also, Americans by nature love a come from behind story!

He is a member of an admissions committee.

AH! Thank you. Your advice is definitely appreciated. TY, TY.

 

[Holmwood]

When it comes to the application essays and interviews, how much personal struggle info is too much?

For instance, should I go testes to the wall and tell them my dad is an alcoholic and on meth who is basically homeless and threatens to kill me and my dogs from time to time? That my mom is a pill-popping, hypochondratic, bi-polar alcoholic. My ex-crackhead brother is currently in jail for sexual assault. My older sister couldn't deal with the BS so she isolated herself from the family (although she's pretty normal). I was homeless at 17 bc my mother had a mid-life crisis and went to jail. Got my GED. Joined the Army, deployed at 20. I got a divorce during my undergrad bc my husband cheated on me and had a baby w/ someone else. None of my family have helped me or supported me through my path to med-school. BUT, here I am. Almost done, killer GPA, killer resume, etc...

Or... should I just be like: "My family has been as supportive as they can" And leave it at that?

I know Med-schools want to hear some struggle but how much is too much? I don't want them thinking I'm as crazy as my fam...

Any advice would be awesome, thanks!

Marilyn

I wouldn't list everything. I would perhaps choose couple important ones and elaborate on your thought processes behind it.

There's going to be a hardship-type/accomplishment essay in the secondary essay for some schools, so you have plenty more room to talk about your hardship outside of the personal statement.

You can be short without sacrificing detail. The two are not mutually exclusive.

The only time you want to be listing everything you just mentioned is perhaps the infamous "autobiography" type essay in secondaries.

 

[marilynmagnolia]

I wouldn't list everything. I would perhaps choose couple important ones and elaborate on your thought processes behind it.

There's going to be a hardship-type/accomplishment essay in the secondary essay for some schools, so you have plenty more room to talk about your hardship outside of the personal statement.

You can be short without sacrificing detail. The two are not mutually exclusive.

The only time you want to be listing everything you just mentioned is perhaps the infamous "autobiography" type essay in secondaries.

Hmmm, I didn't know that abt the secondary essays. I dread the "autobio" though, sounds tedious...

 

[Uafl112]

Never let it be a sob story, but discuss them as struggles you overcame and then quickly state how its toughened you up to deal with medical school

 

[Uafl112]

Never let it be a sob story, but discuss them as struggles you overcame and then quickly state how its toughened you up to deal with medical school

 

[kraskadva]

OP-

1) kudos to you.
2) as others have said , the PS is a place to say why you want to do medicine and what led you to that decision/revelation. So if your family issues are relevant to that, then by all means include it. If they're not though...
3) Having just recently filled in many secondaries myself, I'll say though that there are many "greatest challenge/ overcoming a struggle/ dealing with stress" type of essays. There are also a lot of "diversity" essays. What you've mentioned could work for most/all of those prompts. They are often 200-500 character essays (you can look up specific prompts & lengths in the school threads for where you want to apply), so if you can write out a number of vignettes from this massive amount of material you have, you'll have many compelling secondary essays to throw out there.
Best of luck!

 

[marilynmagnolia]

Never let it be a sob story, but discuss them as struggles you overcame and then quickly state how its toughened you up to deal with medical school

That's good advice bc that's pretty much how I feel abt it. TY

 

[type12]

Also, Americans by nature love a come from behind story!

Not according to my ex.

 

[ridethecliche]

I only wrote about this stuff for one essay for Duke where they ask for an autobiography, re: dad being physically abusive and alcoholic. It's not something I have anywhere else in my app. It's just not something I throw out all that often, though I'm including it in secondaries that ask for 'life story' esque questions.

I'd discuss it in interviews, especially for schools close to home because I want to stay close to my mom and younger sister during grad school and being able to go home every few weekends would be really good for both my family and my sanity.

 

[gtbROX]

I would just spend 1/3 of the essay concisely describing your situation. Then the rest talking about your development as an individual and potential doctor.

 

[LizzyM]

You aren't a typical applicant and you won't have a typical personal statement. There will be curious admissions committee members who will wonder why you joined the military at a young age, etc, and it might help to have some of that information in your application. The "disadvantaged" section is another place to add some of this stuff as it pertains to the period of your life from 0-18.

I know you will be more politically correct when you write your application and you will avoid referring to people by their disease (pill-popping, bipolar alcoholic). You can sum that all up with "My parents struggled with addiction and mental illness throughout my childhood. When I was xx years old, my mother was imprisoned and, as a result, I became homeless. Undaunted, I earned a GED, joined the military and was deployed at 20 years old. These experiences have molded me into a person who ... " Frankly, I think that your brother's troubles and your broken marriage are not relevant to the overall story and could be left out.

 

[ridethecliche]

Damn she's good!

 

[DokterMom]

You aren't a typical applicant and you won't have a typical personal statement. There will be curious admissions committee members who will wonder why you joined the military at a young age, etc, and it might help to have some of that information in your application. The "disadvantaged" section is another place to add some of this stuff as it pertains to the period of your life from 0-18.

I know you will be more politically correct when you write your application and you will avoid referring to people by their disease (pill-popping, bipolar alcoholic). You can sum that all up with "My parents struggled with addiction and mental illness throughout my childhood. When I was xx years old, my mother was imprisoned and, as a result, I became homeless. Undaunted, I earned a GED, joined the military and was deployed at 20 years old. These experiences have molded me into a person who ... " Frankly, I think that your brother's troubles and your broken marriage are not relevant to the overall story and could be left out.

Exactly! You want to be explicit enough that the reader can accurately assess the extent of your adverse situation, while not being disrespectful or whiny. Addiction, mental illness and parental imprisonment leading to homelessness? -- Yeah - worth mentioning explicitly. Worlds apart from "both parents had to work menial jobs to keep the lights on and keep us from being evicted from our dumpy apartment" and your statement should make that clear. You have every right to be very proud of all you have accomplished, and obscuring the obstacles you overcame in the process detracts from the magnitude of your achievements.

 

[ImmunoLove]

I am talking abt both PS and interviews. And great, now I'm just confused. I've read a few things suggesting to list examples of "personal struggle" in the PS. I 'spose I really just need to think abt what most drove me to go into medicine, and like you say, leave the other info out. It is just difficult bc all those things had/have an influence on my decision. I did not want to be a physician growing up, didn't consider it, but everything that I have been through has compounded and contributed to my decision. (Psychoanalytically, I think the lack of support has instilled a deep need for me to help others.)

Thanks Nick for the reiteration of the "2 questions", that will actually help quite a bit.

It seems like I have some pondering to do. Anyone have personal experience with the PS and interviews while having a similar situation as mine? What did you do? Was it successful?

Thanks y'all!

-Marilyn

I feel the same way! What to say? What to leave out? Seems like saying something might make you unique, or make you a liability....Or that one should say nothing if it doesn't directly relate to "Why medicine/why me".

I think you'll prolly do fine in interview (your intuition which you've honed throughout your diverse experiences will kick in), but the PS is another story. If you figure anything out, share your words of wisdom! I for one am also at a loss about how much to divulge....

 

[ImmunoLove]

Lol. crazy thing is I DO love my family. I'm still close w/ everyone but my Dad (only bc he threatened my dogs, no one threatens my dogs). I'm like the rock on my mom's side, really. I don't blame them, for what? Maybe if I myself was a druggie/alchie barefoot and preggers then I may have some reason to blame. But, as far as I'm concerned, all the BS has molded me into a very mature, strong and interesting person. It is hard to convey sincerity through text, but my purpose of mentioning any of this is NOT too cast blame or elicit sympathy. Instead to lay a foundation for who I really am.

But I agree with the general concensus, somewhere in the middle. "I've struggled; I've had to get where I am by myself, but I'm a better person who wants to help others become better people as well." Something like that...

YES! I do dog rescue (got into it after disillusionment in early 20s that some people really suck, while dogs are all awesome). Puppies! Sorry, it's just got a special place for me, and I like to see that "no one threatens my dogs!" mentality.

 

[ImmunoLove]

Exactly! You want to be explicit enough that the reader can accurately assess the extent of your adverse situation, while not being disrespectful or whiny. Addiction, mental illness and parental imprisonment leading to homelessness? -- Yeah - worth mentioning explicitly. Worlds apart from "both parents had to work menial jobs to keep the lights on and keep us from being evicted from our dumpy apartment" and your statement should make that clear. You have every right to be very proud of all you have accomplished, and obscuring the obstacles you overcame in the process detracts from the magnitude of your achievements.

Would you recommend OP to state these things in "disadvantaged status" or in the PS itself?

 

[DokterMom]

Would you recommend OP to state these things in "disadvantaged status" or in the PS itself?

If her childhood factored into her decision process (how could it not?), then a few sentences in her PS to set the stage would not seem out of place. I'd probably save the bulk of the details for the disadvantaged and/or diversity sections though.

 

[marilynmagnolia]

You aren't a typical applicant and you won't have a typical personal statement. There will be curious admissions committee members who will wonder why you joined the military at a young age, etc, and it might help to have some of that information in your application. The "disadvantaged" section is another place to add some of this stuff as it pertains to the period of your life from 0-18.

I know you will be more politically correct when you write your application and you will avoid referring to people by their disease (pill-popping, bipolar alcoholic). You can sum that all up with "My parents struggled with addiction and mental illness throughout my childhood. When I was xx years old, my mother was imprisoned and, as a result, I became homeless. Undaunted, I earned a GED, joined the military and was deployed at 20 years old. These experiences have molded me into a person who ... " Frankly, I think that your brother's troubles and your broken marriage are not relevant to the overall story and could be left out.

This is the best advice. Many thanks. And thank you for recognizing that I won't have typical personal statement. I think I may have worried a little too much about sounding like XX's example essays and not myself.

 

[marilynmagnolia]

Exactly! You want to be explicit enough that the reader can accurately assess the extent of your adverse situation, while not being disrespectful or whiny. Addiction, mental illness and parental imprisonment leading to homelessness? -- Yeah - worth mentioning explicitly. Worlds apart from "both parents had to work menial jobs to keep the lights on and keep us from being evicted from our dumpy apartment" and your statement should make that clear. You have every right to be very proud of all you have accomplished, and obscuring the obstacles you overcame in the process detracts from the magnitude of your achievements.

Thank you. At the risk of sounding weak, I have been tearing up as I write my PS bc until now I have not thought about ALL of the things have had to go through to get here. When I got through with all my "work/experiences" I realized how much I had truly done but had never really taken the time to admire or to be proud of myself. Coupling that with what I have been through, it really does add to the "magnitude of [my] achievements". So thanks for seeing that.

I feel the same way! What to say? What to leave out? Seems like saying something might make you unique, or make you a liability....Or that one should say nothing if it doesn't directly relate to "Why medicine/why me".
I think you'll prolly do fine in interview (your intuition which you've honed throughout your diverse experiences will kick in), but the PS is another story. If you figure anything out, share your words of wisdom! I for one am also at a loss about how much to divulge....

Not *too* worried about the interview. You are right about the intuition, I have no problem talking with people... I will let you know if I figure something out. I have my PS drafted, actually, and it is quite poetic. However, I won't know if it "worked" or not until much later, so I'm not sure if I'll be much help... In the mean time, refer to the two ladies I quoted above. Their advice seems most solid. Good luck to you!

 

[ImmunoLove]

Thank you. At the risk of sounding weak, I have been tearing up as I write my PS bc until now I have not thought about ALL of the things have had to go through to get here. When I got through with all my "work/experiences" I realized how much I had truly done but had never really taken the time to admire or to be proud of myself. Coupling that with what I have been through, it really does add to the "magnitude of [my] achievements". So thanks for seeing that.




Not *too* worried about the interview. You are right about the intuition, I have no problem talking with people... I will let you know if I figure something out. I have my PS drafted, actually, and it is quite poetic. However, I won't know if it "worked" or not until much later, so I'm not sure if I'll be much help... In the mean time, refer to the two ladies I quoted above. Their advice seems most solid. Good luck to you!

Amen. Had the same experience....(shortly followed with "yeah a phoenix rising from the ashes! I will conquer the world! quickly replaced with worry "but what if they don't see that" and then frustration "who do they think they are?" and then realizing "they didn't live through it but they have seen it" and then back to "but it's been such a long, hard road, and I'll do more, but...ouch"). I've learned to not take this emotional roller-coaster too seriously; having survived it once, it's easier to survive it again and again. It all works out in the end. Just got to keep plugging along....And gain a little strength and inspiration from others (that's what your post has done for me!)

If I stumble across any words of wisdom, I'll be sure to share.

rock on.

 

[marilynmagnolia]

Amen. Had the same experience....(shortly followed with "yeah a phoenix rising from the ashes! I will conquer the world! quickly replaced with worry "but what if they don't see that" and then frustration "who do they think they are?" and then realizing "they didn't live through it but they have seen it" and then back to "but it's been such a long, hard road, and I'll do more, but...ouch"). I've learned to not take this emotional roller-coaster too seriously; having survived it once, it's easier to survive it again and again. It all works out in the end. Just got to keep plugging along....And gain a little strength and inspiration from others (that's what your post has done for me!)

If I stumble across any words of wisdom, I'll be sure to share.

rock on.

Rise Phoenix, Rise! Lol. I am so glad that this post has helped you a bit. I did end up finishing my PS if you'd like to see what I've got. I took a completely non-trad route with the formatting, but I think that speaks to who I am.

And I feel you on the "it's easier surviving it again and again". It certainly is! I try not to worry anymore. I do my best and don't give up (learned that from all the BS). I am very tough sometimes, mostly on myself, but I think that has helped get me to where I am. But let us remember through this process to be KIND to ourselves. Some people take self-kindness for granted where as you and I probably have to work on it. We may look at our efforts like: "It's still not good enough. I can do better. I'm not finished yet." I don't think we realize that even though things aren't finished, it has been very difficult to even get things started. Only a very special kind of person can look at a steep hill that others say is impossible to climb, and still go for it anyways when there are smaller hills to the left and right. To be successful in life (I consider this proportional to my level of happiness) it is necessary there is some balance. Remember to tell yourself you are AWESOME every now and then.

 

[ImmunoLove]

Rise Phoenix, Rise! Lol. I am so glad that this post has helped you a bit. I did end up finishing my PS if you'd like to see what I've got. I took a completely non-trad route with the formatting, but I think that speaks to who I am.

And I feel you on the "it's easier surviving it again and again". It certainly is! I try not to worry anymore. I do my best and don't give up (learned that from all the BS). I am very tough sometimes, mostly on myself, but I think that has helped get me to where I am. But let us remember through this process to be KIND to ourselves. Some people take self-kindness for granted where as you and I probably have to work on it. We may look at our efforts like: "It's still not good enough. I can do better. I'm not finished yet." I don't think we realize that even though things aren't finished, it has been very difficult to even get things started. Only a very special kind of person can look at a steep hill that others say is impossible to climb, and still go for it anyways when there are smaller hills to the left and right. To be successful in life (I consider this proportional to my level of happiness) it is necessary there is some balance. Remember to tell yourself you are AWESOME every now and then.
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Best post ever. Totally with you on the whole learning to give yourself a break.

And re success....Reminds me of a Sir William Osler quote, where he defines success as "having achieved what you set out to do and being happy with the result".

Plus puppies.

Yes, best post ever.

And definitely would love to see what you did with the PS (we can swap if you like-mine's a little...uh...convoluted, but it's clearing up thanks to help from some amazing SDNers).