Strike up a deal with her: You will take a year off from school to travel the world and think about your options. If, at the end of that year, you still want to pursue your DDS, you can come back and finish it off.
Most schools allow you to take a year off, so that shouldn't be a problem. This way, you guys both get to travel and if you feel you really truly want to finish your degree, you can.
Hope this helps. Now back to studying so I can pay off my loans in the future
A fantastic proposal,
@BrazilianRider! What I really like about your recommendation is that you preserve the OP's chance for professional success while still affording him the flexibility to give the 13 yr + relationship a chance at survival. Good stuff.
My only question here is- wouldn't it be hard for OP to pick up where he stopped? I mean, if you don't review your notes/keep the knowledge fresh, isn't it easy to forget some of the material you need to know?
Thanks for the advice, taking a year off doesn't seem feasible even though from here on out it's mainly clinics/rotations. I feel that it's better to either drop out completely or finish school, and I am choosing the latter.
OP, when your gf said she was going to quit medical school, what kind of feedback did you give her?
It seems really strange for her to quit medical school when you yourself are still finishing up at the same university.
Perhaps she's getting defensive because she quit her career prematurely while you are taking your sweet time? Maybe she sees her resignation from a medical career as a sacrifice she made for you. You know, so she can spend more time with you. Yet, you aren't willing to make the same sacrifice so she doesn't think it is fair so that's why she flipped?
Not saying that's absolute why she's mad at you, but just some food for thought. Think about the expectation she had for this relationship when she won the lotto/quit school and consider if you will meet them going forward.
After she told me that she wanted to drop out, I thought she was joking. The next week when she did, I flipped out as did her parents. I told her what everyone else would have told her...you only have a few months left why would you throw away all that hard work, etc, etc. for naught. Again, as I said before she claims to have no regrets about it.
The latter half of your post perfectly sums up her prospective on this whole ordeal. Maybe she did resign from a medical career as a sacrifice she made for me, but for me to do the same is easier said than done. I put so much hard work into this and dropping out seems ridiculous even though my relationship is on the line.
LMAO subtle troll but this is 9/10. Is anyone supposed to feel bad for you here? If your fiancee truly won the lottery why would she want to wait around for you to finish a 6 year OMFS residency? I could see wanting her to wait for you to finish school, but do you expect her to just sit around while you just grind for the next 6 years? Of course she wants to get out and travel, she just won the ****ing LOTTERY! This is assuming this post isn't BS which 90% it is. Anyways I will humor you, I say finish D school then travel the world. OMFS and dentistry will always be there. Did you take NBME? Score if so? Class rank if you're not at one of the pass fail schools? Who knows if you could even get omfs--most can't.
LOL but of course fiancee is in med school (of all professions)--drops out a few months before graduating.
BUT Brb you are gunning for that 6 year OMFS conveniently
Brb she buys you Benz--you feel bad. Lmao too much. Who gives a **** what people think of you for driving nice car? Kids in my UG drove benz, beamers, porsche etc. Atleast youre in grad school--honestly its none of classmates business to wonder about your car. If someone gets salty smile and tell them to worry about those loans plebe. jealousy is the worse trait.
Want to truly help people? Do something entrepreneurial , maybe a non-profit at some point and you can make a bigger impact in peoples lives than you ever could as a dentist.
I can't tell if this is a TROLL post are not, but I'll go ahead and answer some of your questions.
First, I never asked anyone to believe me. This is an anonymous (or can be) internet forum. As with much of the internet, you should take everything you read with a grain of salt. It's entirely up to you to believe me, and if not that's perfectly fine. I gave you a situation, either answer accordingly or not. Maybe I could have just only said...I won the lottery, should I continue dental school or not. I think most here would have told me to drop out for various reasons, but my situation is more complex then that. Even though I will be making my own decision by the end of the day, I like to hear some advice and opinions from others. So why post here? I honestly found it difficult to find a trustworthy person to genuinely share my situation to. My school even has a counselor, but it's easier said than done. And besides, I'm sure many of the posts made here would have given me the same if not better suggestions that what a counselor would have given me. As for an online post. I literally don't use any other online forum (posting here would probably give me much better answers than elsewhere..e.g. Reddit, etc). Four years ago when I was on SDN 24/7, I realized that SDN is a good place to get advice. Sure there can trolls, but the majority of people here sincerely want to help others and I appreciate all the comments that have been made doing so. (Side note: everyone here pretty much gave me sincere advice with the exception of you... Tables turned, everyone is in on it and maybe you are the butt of the joke.)
1) No, you don't have to feel bad for me. I didn't ask you to.
2) My fiancée doesn't want to wait for me, hence I am stuck with this dilemma.
3) I'm not sure if finishing dental school and coming back to OMFS is a feasible idea.
4) NBME? I haven't taken it yet. As for the NBDE, I passed. If you want a raw score, I am unable to give you one.
5) My school doesn't use P/F. I haven't recently kept a close eye on class rankings, but base from my experience over the past three years, I think I can safely infer that I am in the top 10 (top 15 for sure).
6) Thanks for your pessimistic outlook. But you are certainly correct, OMFS, in my opinion, is one of the harder (if not hardest) specialties to get into. I really don't know if I am able to get in unless I try, no? With that said, I think I've done everything right and on the right track to pursue OMFS. Now that marriage is out of the question, I plan to extern during the intersession.
7) Fiancee wanted to pursue a medical career since high school, not sure where you are getting with it here. For me, I had hundreds of shadowing hours in a OMFS residency hospital clinic before dental school. My time here was mind-blowing, hence I am firm on pursuing OMFS. Best specialty in my humble opinion.
8) As much as I loved the car, feeling bad was my only option. When you're in dental school, everything/everyone is close knit. Over the past three years, I've been living frugally alongside most of my classmates. When you're driving a car that's expensive, it doesn't make sense in this environment even though we are all in grad school. Moreover, I've been lying about how I got it. Yes, this doesn't make me feel bad at all. Your post implies that having an expensive car in grad school is okay, but in undergrad it's not okay? You are most mistaken, because in grad school (especially dental school) literally NO one drives an excessively extravagant car, lol. Also, I didn't say anything about jealously, so yeah...
9) Do you have a thing against dentists or something? If I wanted to be an entrepreneur, I would have done so a LONG time ago. Many of my friends that graduated from undergrad with business/accounting degrees are already making money that surpasses the average salary of dentists. My point is, money isn't everything to me. I pursued dentistry for few reasons (sure income is one), but I definitely think (and most here would probably agree with me) that I can truly help people with this endeavor.
69) Chill bro, it's just a prank!
I found no mention of a lottery jackpot totaling anything around $24 million in recent months, nor could I find any articles which suggest that a medical student had recently won the lottery. Such stories can be found a few years back, but nothing recent.
...BUSTED!
@FrenchyM.D/D.O thanks for your advice. Surprised that this thread got a bit feisty because of a couple of your posts. I know you're trying to be helpful though.
I just want to say that making this thread has been one of the best things I've done over the last few months. As I said, finding someone to share this to has almost been nonexistent and this thread relieved a lot of my tension. Thank you all for listening and offering your most sincere thoughts and opinions.
As for the situation, I am indeed calling off the marriage. This was my personal decision and I've leaning towards it for a few months now, I just wanted to hear thoughts from it from others. In my opinion, my fiancée and I have always been closely together over the past 13 years. We have pretty much never been separated, and I think it's time for a break in the relationship. Only time will tell if we ever get together again. I will call this a "hold/break" on the relationship, and she can call it whatever she wants. I will pursue my dreams, and I will come back to her whenever I finish though I hope she will come back clinging to me before that happens.
I need to switch gears guys and get back to reality for me. I have a couple exams in the coming days, and I won't be able to keep updating this thread.
Thank you very much for all the advice.
