Thank you notes: thankfulness or obligation?

[Dr.PetesAFDDS]

Hey SDN,
I recently (two weeks ago) had my final interview at one of my top two schools. Yesterday I was talking to a friend in dental school at this school, and he asked if I had sent "thank yous" yet. I haven't sent thank yous, and he responded "I'd send them, it can't hurt, better late than never."

I haven't sent "thank yous" to any of the four schools where I've interviewed, and I'll tell you why. (Please don't rip me apart for this..)

1. A "thank you" note written from out of fulfillment of duty and obligation isn't really a real thank you note.

2. No offense to adcoms, but what am I thankful for? Am I thankful that you spent 20 minutes of your time evaluating me? Yes. However, I am the "customer" if you will that spent $200 to apply, $400 in gas, $100 on an outfit, and $100 on a hotel room. So, as much as I am grateful for you looking at my application (which I paid $200 for you to do so), and as much as I am grateful for you spending 20 minutes of your time with me, I am not writing you a "thank you" out of obligation because that isn't really what thankfulness is. And, after all, I spent over $500 to apply and travel to your school, I think our "thank yous" can be cancelled out. I won't send you your "thank you" note, and you don't have to send me mine.

Am I the only person who feels this way about "thank yous"? Besides, I thanked them on my interview date, and as far as I am concerned, a verbal thank you bears no less meaning than a written thank you.

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[sgv]

By the time the thank you note gets to them, who knows, they might have already met with the admissions committee, and already voted for you. As far as I know, I think the interviewers all get together and each interviewer goes around arguing on your behalf as to whether or not they should let you in or not. This procedure might differ with schools. Some schools might just use a point system and leave the whole argument or discussion deal out the door. Knowing this would you still write the letter?

I never wrote thank you notes not because I wasn't thankful but because I had other things to do that I thought were greater priorities during my day. I'm sure the interviewer sees you leave knowing that you are a normal social participant of society with basic decency to have gratitude without directly expressing it with letter.

 

[jeffity]

People were raised differently. For some it's common courtesy to do so. Others, not so much. If it's unnecessary to you, don't. Some will swear it's how they got in, but I doubt it.

 

[Dr.PetesAFDDS]

I totally agree. I was raised to write thank yous, but I also don't know that this is a time I feel it necessary to do so.

 

[sgv]

People were raised differently. For some it's common courtesy to do so. Others, not so much. If it's unnecessary to you, don't. Some will swear it's how they got in, but I doubt it.

I thought it was weird for some people to bring flowers to a dinner invitation at a Southern person's home. I also don't think the culture of being overly respectful to elders by holding your tongue and limiting to conversations that are dominated by the older person is conducive to successful interview conversations. I'm looking at you Asian culture. "When in Rome, do as the Romans do."

 

[kingenamel]

I don't think you are obligated to write one at all. Its really personal choice. You have already spent the time to apply and fly out to each school and I'm sure schools don't expect to get thank you notes from all their interviewees. From all the interviews I had I only sent one thank you email because the admissions director specifically wrote their email and said for those of you who would like to send thank you notes you can do so by sending them to this address. Other than that school I just thanked them for their time in person after my interview

 

[Ferneezy]

Did you not 'thank' your interviewer(s) in some way at the conclusion of your chat?

For me, that was more than enough. They are well aware how appreciative you are for being invited.

 

[Ferneezy]

I also don't think the culture of being overly respectful to elders by holding your tongue and limiting to conversations that are dominated by the older person is conducive to successful interview conversations. I'm looking at you Asian culture. "When in Rome, do as the Romans do."

Not every prospective student at an American dental school is culturally American.

That said, if there is an interesting back story to this...some members might want to hear it.

And when I say 'some members might' I mean 'I would'.

 

[flaming0duckie]

I sent thank you notes/emails to every person or group that interviewed me, whether it be for school or for a job. It was more of a courtesy than anything else to be honest; I was always taught by my parents and college advisers that sending one was the proper thing to do. With that said, thank you notes are a personal choice. I don't think it's something that will change how an interviewer views you, so I also don't really see a point to do so if you don't feel like it. *shrug*

 

[Slumber]

I don't get what the fuss is about writing a simple thank you note. It's just a nice gesture to express your gratitude towards the interviewers for taking time out to do the interview(or if they made your interview went smoother ) AND if they're voting(or voted) FOR you. Just use a simple template and changes a couple words each time to address to the new recipients. It's not necessary but what's the harm if you need only 2-3 minutes to send a simple note?

 

[Slumber]

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[free99]

Am I thankful that you spent 20 minutes of your time evaluating me? Yes. However, I am the "customer" if you will that spent $200 to apply, $400 in gas, $100 on an outfit, and $100 on a hotel room. So, as much as I am grateful for you looking at my application (which I paid $200 for you to do so), and as much as I am grateful for you spending 20 minutes of your time with me, I am not writing you a "thank you" out of obligation because that isn't really what thankfulness is.

I see your point, but many of my interviewers were volunteers (community dentists) and likely didn't see a dime of all those application fees.

 

[toothexplore]

thank you notes are nice - no interviewer would hate getting them. but i believe that its difficult for them to match the name to a face unless theyre looking directly at your file.

 

[toothexplore]

thank you notes are nice - no interviewer would hate getting them. but i believe that its difficult for them to match the name to a face unless theyre looking directly at your file.

 

[Dent35]

Well i am one of those kids that was taught that sending a thank you note was the proper thing to do. I always used to sent thank you notes to relatives/friends/coworkers and whoever else depending on the occasion. And everyone always appreciated it and they usually say "aw how sweet of you". People want to know and feel that they are appreciated.
So if i am sending thank you notes to all these people why not sent some to the people that basically have my future in their hands?
Nobody cares how much you spent on hotels, applying, traveling or whatever, because we've all spent just as much or even more (for re applicants).
So if you don't want to send a thank you note, then don't, it's not an obligation.