That Redhead's Guide to Personal Statements

[that redhead]

Over the years, I've had the chance to read a good number of personal statements from prospective students. There are a few bits of advice I'd like to toss out there as application season looms on the horizon. I'd like to add the obvious disclaimer: people have been admitted with all kinds of statements; this isn't the be-all end-all of personal statement writing.

1. Pick a few strong experiences to talk about. You do not need to incorporate every single experience you've ever had into your statement, and doing so takes away from the weight you want to give to bigger, more meaningful events. Admissions committees can see all of your hours on your application, so no worry that something will be overlooked. Use the PS to emphasize what you want them to see and know about.

2. Know what you want your chosen experiences to convey about you as an applicant. Just describing what you did at that particular job doesn't add to the picture of who you are. Talk about a life lesson you learned or a positive trait you strengthened. Each of the few experiences you discuss should sculpt your personality to the reader.

3. Avoid the cliche and overused. We all love animals. We all had a childhood pet that went through something traumatic that we were a part of, and most of us were relatively young when we recognized veterinary medicine as a career option. Don't make that the crux of your statement. Show the admissions committee that you explored and decided upon veterinary medicine as a mature, adult person, even if it was just validation of a childhood goal. If I read a lot of statements about someone's pet, imagine how many admissions reads! If you really want to incorporate it, go for it, but recognize that it will be a very, very common theme. Stand out!

The same goes for words. My mom reads a ton of resumes for a government agency and she loathes words like "passion", "amazing" and "amazing opportunity". Don't use a thesaurus to the point that it's obvious, but find other ways to say the same thing.

4. Make it flow. Your statement doesn't have to be a story about you necessarily, but it does need to flow. Craft your persona for the committee and then tie that in to why you'd be a good candidate for veterinary medicine, their school, etc. Having a lot of people read your statement is really helpful in determining if it is cohesive. They will also catch errors in spelling and grammar that you missed, even after reading it over a thousand times.

Hope this was helpful. Others are free to chime in with their advice

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[LetItSnow]

I swear I thought this topic was "The Redhead's Guide to .....". I was expecting all sorts of snarky 'no soul' comments.

I'll add:

5. Support assertions about yourself with evidence. Touting your abilities/skills/whatever earns you a shrug. Proving it earns you a nod of respect.

 

[Minnerbelle]

6. Answer the goddam prompt. I don't know why, but very few people actually answer the prompt.

 

[Aegolius acadicus]

6. Answer the goddam prompt. I don't know why, but very few people actually answer the prompt.

So should I restate the points of the prompt in my essay so there's no way to miss it? Just don't want to be too cookie-cutter I guess...it's probably going to end up being cookie-cutter no matter what I do though. It's not as though I'm writing anything that no one's heard before...

 

[LetItSnow]

6. Answer the goddam prompt. I don't know why, but very few people actually answer the prompt.

There was a prompt?

So should I restate the points of the prompt in my essay so there's no way to miss it?

Probably not necessary. I think MB's point (apologies if I'm putting inaccurate words in your mouth, MB) was to pay attention to the question that's being asked and make sure you answer it. It's not a random story about why you want to be a vet; it's a response to a specific statement/question.

 

[Trilt]

6. Answer the goddam prompt. I don't know why, but very few people actually answer the prompt.

Seriously. I've read a ton of personal statements that totally ignore the last bit of the prompt and don't talk at all about their career goals going forward. Read these things, they're important!

Discuss briefly the development of your interest in veterinary medicine. Discuss those activities and unique experiences that have contributed to your preparation for a professional program. Discuss your understanding of the veterinary medical profession, and discuss your career goals and objectives.​

 

[pinkpuppy9]

7. Your personal statement doesn't necesarily need to be your life story. Try to avoid talking about your entire life without actually explaining how you got interested in vet med. I've read a lot of PS's that gave me enough of the person's life story to the point that I got bored, but never actually explained how they became interested in this field. For example, my pre-med friend had me proofread her PS. I learned all about her mom's illness, her brother's illness, and her parents' divorce. She neglected to relate any of those things to her desire to be a doctor.

8. Try to sound mature in your writing. This doesn't just stand for personal statements, but for resumes, emails, cover letters, and so on. Avoid short/choppy sentences or overly long ones. A second (or third, or fourth) set of eyes will be best to help you out in this area. Like TRH said, avoiding words like "amazing" and "I've wanted to be a veterinarian since preschool" will avoid a lot of eye rolls. A well placed comma makes a good statement into a great one and can convey a more professional tone. However, don't try to use the thesaurus to add 'pizzazz' or lose your personality.

 

[Minnerbelle]

There was a prompt?



Probably not necessary. I think MB's point (apologies if I'm putting inaccurate words in your mouth, MB) was to pay attention to the question that's being asked and make sure you answer it. It's not a random story about why you want to be a vet; it's a response to a specific statement/question.

Yup. The prompt is not, tell me how you wanted to be a vet since you were 5 years old and how much you loved your turtle, followed by a regurgitation of your experience section in paragraph format

 

[LetItSnow]

Yup. The prompt is not, tell me how you wanted to be a vet since you were 5 years old and how much you loved your turtle, followed by a regurgitation of your experience section in paragraph format

Say it isn't so. You just trashed my entire PS.

 

[DVMDream]

I still liked my first personal statement the best... I tied together bowling and vet med.. was probably the most "entertaining" of the 3 PS' I wrote. Didn't really get any positive or negative reviews on it when I asked for file reviews so my guess was that it was "ok"... I scrapped the idea though for my 2nd and 3rd ones.

I don't really have much else to add to the PS list of things to do or avoid. Basically answer the prompt, don't just say I am a good leader, demonstrate it, use an example in which you had to be a leader or were in a leadership position. Same goes for any skill.. saying you are patient is fine, showing it is better. Don't be repetitive, I have seen that on a few PS' that I have read.

If you are going to add in a story, be as concise as possible. You need all the space that you can get. Don't spend 15 sentences on one story, say what you need to get the point across and move on.

 

[LetItSnow]

2. Know what you want your chosen experiences to convey about you as an applicant. Just describing what you did at that particular job doesn't add to the picture of who you are. Talk about a life lesson you learned or a positive trait you strengthened. Each of the few experiences you discuss should sculpt your personality to the reader.

This one is pretty huge. Back when I was reading people's statements I was struck again and again by how many people tell stories ... with no real point. I'd read some multi-paragraph story about some amazing experience somebody had putting geotagging collars on Yetis in the Himalayas .... but there would be no real point. Other than to apparently tell a cool story. It was kinda baffling.

Lots of people have neat stories, though. I did enjoy some of them.

 

[katryn]

Yup. The prompt is not, tell me how you wanted to be a vet since you were 5 years old and how much you loved your turtle, followed by a regurgitation of your experience section in paragraph format

9. Do not regurgitate any portion of your experience section unless you are expounding on how it impacted you or you view of vet med. And if you do, refer to the experience itself in as few words as possible. They already know you spent that summer at xyz animal experience.

 

[Minnerbelle]

10. Do not write/brag about having learned how to do some tech skill as if it were any sort of accomplishment. It makes you sound like you have no idea what becoming a vet is about... and really, it's hard to break it to you... but unless you were like a hemodialysis technician or something like that, thousands of other applicants have done what you have done.

An example of a very very common paragraph which violates 5, 6, 9, 10:

"After my first year of college, when I worked really hard taking 18 units with 3 labs and still managing to get a 3.7 gpa, I got hired as a kennel assistant at XYZ animal hospital. I learned how to restrain animals as well as how to deal with fractious animals. Because of my excellent work ethic, I was promoted the next semester to become an assistant. I first learned how to load exam rooms, talk to owners about preventative care, and run in house labwork. One day, the technician manager pulled me aside and told me that while she normally does not allow assistants to draw blood, that I had earned it. I was ecstatic when I was able to hit the vein on my first try. After countless blood draws, I have become the person that other members of the team come and find when a tiny kitten with the smallest vessels needs a combo test.

The next summer..."

 

[DVMDream]

"After my first year of college, when I worked really hard taking 18 units with 3 labs and still managing to get a 3.7 gpa, I got hired as a kennel assistant at XYZ animal hospital. I learned how to restrain animals as well as how to deal with fractious animals. Because of my excellent work ethic, I was promoted the next semester to become an assistant. I first learned how to load exam rooms, talk to owners about preventative care, and run in house labwork. One day, the technician manager pulled me aside and told me that while she normally does not allow assistants to draw blood, that I had earned it. I was ecstatic when I was able to hit the vein on my first try. After countless blood draws, I have become the person that other members of the team come and find when a tiny kitten with the smallest vessels needs a combo test.

The next summer..."

But, but... that catheter that I got into the 12% dehydrated 20 year old chronic renal failure cat is really exciting!

 

[LetItSnow]

But, but... that catheter that I got into the 12% dehydrated 20 year old chronic renal failure cat is really exciting!

Whatever. The catheter I put in the ear vein of dead chihuahua totally trumps it.

 

[DVMDream]

Whatever. The catheter I put in the ear vein of dead chihuahua totally trumps it.

Gunner!

 

[Minnerbelle]

Whatever. The catheter I put in the ear vein of dead chihuahua totally trumps it.

We may have to battle it out, I was pretty freaking awesome with the IV cath in the tarsal vein of a half dead rat. I'm pretty ****ing amazeballs with female urinary catheters as well.

No one said these things aren't glorious! They totally make my day, even if no one wants to read about it in a PS.

 

[Aegolius acadicus]

10. Do not write/brag about having learned how to do some tech skill as if it were any sort of accomplishment. It makes you sound like you have no idea what becoming a vet is about... and really, it's hard to break it to you... but unless you were like a hemodialysis technician or something like that, thousands of other applicants have done what you have done.

An example of a very very common paragraph which violates 5, 6, 9, 10:

"After my first year of college, when I worked really hard taking 18 units with 3 labs and still managing to get a 3.7 gpa, I got hired as a kennel assistant at XYZ animal hospital. I learned how to restrain animals as well as how to deal with fractious animals. Because of my excellent work ethic, I was promoted the next semester to become an assistant. I first learned how to load exam rooms, talk to owners about preventative care, and run in house labwork. One day, the technician manager pulled me aside and told me that while she normally does not allow assistants to draw blood, that I had earned it. I was ecstatic when I was able to hit the vein on my first try. After countless blood draws, I have become the person that other members of the team come and find when a tiny kitten with the smallest vessels needs a combo test.

The next summer..."

Good to know, I was wondering about this. Does this mean I should not mention them at all? I mentioned my training at the dairy as evidence of the shifting role of large animal vets, as in a lot of younger generation farmers have been trained to do things like give vaccinations and manage difficult calvings, so the vet is no longer making as many farm calls for routine or single-animal treatments as s/he would have several years ago. I was told to back up my statements with evidence, so when stating observations about the profession, I tried to tie in my own basic training working on a farm.

 

[Minnerbelle]

Good to know, I was wondering about this. Does this mean I should not mention them at all? I mentioned my training at the dairy as evidence of the shifting role of large animal vets, as in a lot of younger generation farmers have been trained to do things like give vaccinations and manage difficult calvings, so the vet is no longer making as many farm calls for routine or single-animal treatments as s/he would have several years ago. I was told to back up my statements with evidence, so when stating observations about the profession, I tried to tie in my own basic training working on a farm.

That's fine! You're doing what you're supposed to do, which is talking about your understanding of the profession based on your experiences... I hope you can see the difference there.

 

[Aegolius acadicus]

That's fine! You're doing what you're supposed to do, which is talking about your understanding of the profession based on your experiences... I hope you can see the difference there.

Okay cool, I thought that was okay but wanted to check. And I'll keep in mind not to overdo it with experiences!

 

[Minnerbelle]

Okay cool, I thought that was okay but wanted to check. And I'll keep in mind not to overdo it with experiences!

It should be all about your development as a future vet through your experiences! Your PS should be full of them. You just have to have a point when you're talking about them. The mistake people make is that they say... "I did x, y, z" and that's it. And it leaves the reader going "so what? What does that have to do with you becoming a vet? This is not a cover letter for a technician job opening"

 

[that redhead]

Good to know, I was wondering about this. Does this mean I should not mention them at all? I mentioned my training at the dairy as evidence of the shifting role of large animal vets, as in a lot of younger generation farmers have been trained to do things like give vaccinations and manage difficult calvings, so the vet is no longer making as many farm calls for routine or single-animal treatments as s/he would have several years ago. I was told to back up my statements with evidence, so when stating observations about the profession, I tried to tie in my own basic training working on a farm.

That sounds fine to me. Like MB said, it's about tying it in to your knowledge of vet med/why you're going to be a great vet instead of just repeating your experiences that you've already included on your application.

 

[Gwenevre]

TRH, this is super helpful, thank you! I'm going to be re-writing my PS in the next couple of weeks, and these tips from everyone are very spot on and reflect what my file reviews have told me too

 

[StartingoverVet]

My biggest recommendations...

* Never, ever forget that a PS is a marketing document on YOU. If you don't sound amazing in some way in your PS, the readers are just going to yawn.
* Don't be humble unless you manage to sell humility as what is going to make you a great vet.
* Don't talk about your negatives unless you manage to show how they really are positives that make you great...

My response to be people who say "but there is nothing special about my me/my application" is not to expect to get in.
*Find someone who esteems you and find out why if you are that lacking in self-esteem or self analytical abilities.

EVERYTHING in your PS should be leading the reader to think: "T!his is who we want to attend our school". Everything.
*REMEMBER THE POINT OF THE PS. To show that you will be a great addition to the veterinary profession and reflect well on the school (and that y0u can handle getting through school).

my 5 minutes of SDN time are up.
Ciao.

 

[Minnerbelle]

Also a good frame of mind to be in when writing the PS is to think it as the one place in your application where you can show why you deserve it more than the next person with the same gpa, GRE, and experiences

 

[bbeventer]

11. More people that can read your PS the better you will be for it.

 

[brownswissfanatic]

Thanks for the advice!
I will be a second time applicant this cycle.
I was rereading my personal statement from last cycle, and I actually really liked my essay. I thought it was a good summary of my experiences. However, due to the character limit I had to cut out paragraphs of information (I have a tendency to write too much when it comes to writing stuff), that I really really really wanted to include.
Since October 2015 (until August 2016) I have been interning with a non-profit relief agency called ADRA (Adventist Development Relief Agency) in Madagascar, and I really want to change my essay to include lessons and experiences learned in this internship. I also really want to find a way to include a large section about my strong interest in International Veterinary Medicine and Veterinary Mission work. The problem is that I have no idea what should stay and what should go. Any suggestions from anyone who has been accepted would be greatly appreciated. I would love to send my PS to anyone who would be willing to read it.

 

[WildZoo]

Bumping this even though it's old and the personal statement is now three separate essays. Many of the points made here still apply, and the 3 prompts now are basically parts of what the old prompt was.

 

[that redhead]

Bumping this even though it's old and the personal statement is now three separate essays. Many of the points made here still apply, and the 3 prompts now are basically parts of what the old prompt was.

Are you calling me old?!

 

[WildZoo]

Are you calling me old?!

You and me both

 

[Minnerbelle]

Bumping this even though it's old and the personal statement is now three separate essays. Many of the points made here still apply, and the 3 prompts now are basically parts of what the old prompt was.

Omg I bet they got so fed up with people not answering the ****ing prompt they had to ask three separate questions to prevent the previous 3000-5000 characters of garble about people’s childhood gerbil!

 

[that redhead]

Omg I bet they got so fed up with people not answering the ****ing prompt they had to ask three separate questions to prevent the previous 3000-5000 characters of garble about people’s childhood gerbil!

They should make a final blurb that says, “and don’t you dare mention your childhood gerbil!!!”

 

[Minnerbelle]

They should make a final blurb that says, “and don’t you dare mention your childhood gerbil!!!”

Ok, but I can still write about my chinchilla right?

 

[WildZoo]

Omg I bet they got so fed up with people not answering the ****ing prompt they had to ask three separate questions to prevent the previous 3000-5000 characters of garble about people’s childhood gerbil!

That was my theory for why they did it that way (and I've still had a few where people didn't answer the whole question lol)