Things I Learn from My Patients.

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Last warning: The INSURANCE COMPANY determines your copay--NOT ME!!!
It is not proper to ask, "Are you sure, cos I KNOW I NEVER pay more than 5 dollars..."

I do not tell you how to do your job. Please do not tell me how to do mine.

Contrary to what you might think...I do not share your opinion about how "all pharmacists are crooks".

Again, I am not responsible for you not having enough money to buy your drugs. Did I hear you correctly when you said your kids go to private school and you finally built that big house in the posh area of town to "get away from the scum"? :rolleyes:

I can only bill to your PRIMARY insurance. I will not play "musical insurances". If you have a secondary insurance, you have the responsibility to bill the f*c***g copay to them!
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Sorry, bad day.

But not as bad as Pilot's! :D
 
Actually, the day wasn't that bad. Those are the only two instances I could think of from yesterday.

I did get another of my favorites however - In person, a lady asked "Did my doctor call in a prescription for me?" Didn't give a name, and I told her I didn't have a prescription for me. She asked "Are you sure?" and I told her I was certain that no doctor had called in a prescription for "Me." She said OK, and walked away. Had a tech chase her down and ask get her name. Still didn't have a script for her though. It was my laugh of the day.

And speaking of the Percocet Rx - I once had a doc write a script for a C-II (don't remember which one now), but the date had been overwritten and thus voided the script. Called the doc, he got made, but agreed to bring a new script in. Came through the drive thru, yelled at the tech, I intervened, and saw that the 2nd Rx was also "corrected". Took the doctor 6 more tries to get it correct, each time madder than the prior. At one point, I offered to write the Rx for him, and hand it to him for a signature, which only made him more infuriated. Found out later he was a radiologist, new to the state, and was unfamiliar with the stringent requirements for C-II's. Still was awfully funny to me.
 
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I could call the vet if you want...but, no---dogs and cats are not carriers of pubic lice or impetigo.

If you smell like b.o., you need to bathe. If an appendage is black and smells really bad, it needs to be amputated. No, please don't wait another month to see the doctor.

Technically, bacon grease is not a psoriasis agent.
 
You want me to flavor your augmentin suspension with "black angus beef"? Miss, that flavor is reserved for veterinary patients. No, tuna is not an acceptable substitute although you like tuna very much.

If you insist, I will do it, free of charge. You can't bring it back if you don't like it.
 
From the mouths of babes:

Do not think for a moment that your child ignores what you say or do. I had a very nasty lady (in fact, she's nasty every time she comes in) complaining that we should have filled her rx when it was time to come due. Never mind the fact that it was 2 weeks too early. (I forgot that I read minds)

Anyway, while this lady had to wait 10 seconds for her rx (and making a noisy scene the whole time), her 10-year old daughter says:

"Please, mom, you're EMBARRASSING me with your behavior...let's just GO!"

I could have hugged that kid! :laugh:
 
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Believe me when I say that you are NOT helping the dentist by starting your own molar endo with a Dremel tool! :eek:
 
haha these are funny! my roommates think I'm such a nerd when I sit in front of my comp laughing at pharmacy "jokes." :laugh:
 
Roxicet said:
The lady smoking in the drive through with her kids in the back seat has no idea why they have asthma, but it's your fault that they're wheezing because you're taking too long. :mad:
Click to expand...

Not only asthma, but dammit, this is the 4th time in 3 months they are on Zithromax 200/5. Do you have an oral syringe?
:smuggrin:
 
loo said:
I can only bill to your PRIMARY insurance. I will not play "musical insurances". If you have a secondary insurance, you have the responsibility to bill the f*c***g copay to them!
Click to expand...

Well, her husband worked for the Ford Motor Company so here's the MerckMedco card. She also has the TogetherRx card, the Aarp card, an Anthem Senior Advantage card, AAA (yes, it discounts prescriptions!), Plan Plus and People's Rx. So, if she is dropping of seven new scripts, how long will it take to determine the cheapest card for EACH of them, and remember, she's in a rush!
 
My worst nightmare! :D Here's proof we live in a McDonald's society.
Patient (on phone):"I've got a new rx. It's the same as the old one. I'll be down in 10 minutes, could you have it ready for me? I'll bring in the new rx with me. Wait...can I just fax it to you?"

Me: No.

Patient (2 minutes later...walks up to counter): "Is it done yet?"

Me: No. I need the original rx. Didn't I just talk to you on the phone?

Patient: "Yeah, well...I was on my cell-phone in the parking lot.

:rolleyes:
 
A lady complained today that her coinsurance payment of $62 for generic was almost as much as she paid last time when she had gotten brand name medication. I looked in her records and found that she had previously paid $106 for brand. She said, "See that's what I thought. There is hardly any difference." Yeah. No difference at all....

***************

A patient calls and tells our male pharmacist that she forgot how to apply her estrogen patch. She asked him to go over the instructions again. This in itself would have been normal. But, she also told him she was laying on the couch with her pants around her knees and her neighbor "Tom" had come over to help her apply the patch to her buttock.

A week later she called me and told me "That patch made my butt itch so I scratched it. Now I have this big sore on my ass from scratching. I didn't even realize it until my neighbor came over today to help me change my patch. It's too bad my neighbor already left or he could describe it to you over the phone."

The same patient flashed one of our technicians to illustrate her wieght loss, stabbed herself in the hand trying to open an aluminum can with a butcher knife, and broke her foot in 3 places by dropping a frozen chicken on it.

After stuff like this, everyone else seems normal.

***************

A man comes in and picks up 2 prescriptions: Levitra and Viagara. He complains that his doctor only called in 7 of of each because his doctor knows he is going to the Carribean soon and it is going to be a "big trip" (wink, wink). Then he tells the technician that he is down with the ladies and he has 3 girlfriends (wink, wink). When one of them walked up behind him he suddenly shut up. Apparently she did not know about the other ladies, the trip, or the meds. He was so close to being busted. So close....

***************
Silly prescriptions for the week:

"MetroGel Cream Dispense: 1 tube"

"Zoloft 100mg tabets #30 1OD"

***************

Response to a faxed refill request: "again after July 7th".
I faxed back: "Please clarify: is this prescription ok to refill after July 7th OR ok to request again after July 7th?"
Their response: "Yes"

***************

If you are bored, call your neigboring store and ask for a price check on Urispas.
 
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Welcome to...You Choose the Directions!

Here's a couple from the archives:

Adderall-XR 20mg. Sig: prn

Albuterol inhaler. Sig: 1 whiffer

Adipex-P 37.5mg . Sig: UD. Refills-prn
;)
 
Counseling is very important. I like to double-check to make sure you understand how to take tricky-direction meds such as the triptans, methergine, colchicine, etc.

If I say something like..."how did your doctor tell you to take it"?...The inappropriate response from you would be...

"Don't you know that? You're the one who put the label on the bottle"?
:smuggrin:
 
loo said:
Welcome to...You Choose the Directions!

Here's a couple from the archives:

Adderall-XR 20mg. Sig: prn

Albuterol inhaler. Sig: 1 whiffer

Adipex-P 37.5mg . Sig: UD. Refills-prn
;)
Click to expand...


I'm showing my ignorance... what does this mean is layman terms? prn and UD?
 
vafcarrot said:
I'm showing my ignorance... what does this mean is layman terms? prn and UD?
Click to expand...

prn = as needed

UD = as directed

OD = right eye

One of the medical offices in my area has "p r n" misprinted as "p m" on their pre-printed prescription pads. You can tell it isn't just close typeset because there would be a little piece poking up in the middle of the m.

Speaking of typos.... I once saw a forged Rx from a person who was stupid enough to put an incorrect area code on the prescription.
 
UD="as directed" :)

Sorry...it seems it has already been covered!
 
When you feel the need to argue about the "fact" you've "never paid this much before...the appropriate place to do so is at the drive-thru.
 
Forgery of the week:

Tylenol #3 Disp: 30 T 1 po prn

So close with the lingo - yet so far - have fun in the courtroom, missy!
 
Person who should not reproduce but probably will:

Patient: Oh, I'm so glad I got a woman on the phone. I need a diaphragm, are they prescription only now?

Me: Yes. You have to get fitted by a physician.

Pt: Well I had one 10-15 years ago, I have to get fitted again?

Me: Yes, ma'am, things can, uh, change and it's really of no use to have a diaphragm that is not the correct size.

Pt: Well my gyno charges so much - I think I'll look for my old diaphragm.

Me: Ma'am I don't think a 15 year-old diaphragm is going to be effective.

Pt: But $150! I don't want to pay that much.

Me: *rolling my eyes* Well, ma'am it's a lot cheaper than the alternative.

Pt: Thanks anyway, I think I'll just look for my old diaphragm.
 
haha.. these are freakin great.. love it :laugh:

i've just started recently working a 2nd internship, in what could most likely be described as community pharmacy.. but i swear.. its very rural.. and more like the retail situations you've all told here today...

we had a lady came in today..
lady: so my friend said i could use h202 for my dogs ear?
pharmacist: dogs ear?
lady: yah hes scratchin it a lot, and i've used water, but its not working
pharmacist:well.. h202 will dry it out...
lady: but my friend said it would work

one.. lady.. sounds like your dog has fleas.. why dont you take him to the vet.. h202?hmm... yes.. b/c your "friend" knows much more than the pharmacist....
 
it actually does make me work faster if you stand directly in front of me and ask me "how much longer will it take?" because you have to go to the liquor store before it closes.

no, there is no other flavor of premarin cream.

yes, I'm pretty sure I double counted the correct number of "greenstone" alprazolam. but, if you want me to, I'll bring the tray and spatula here....

not sure if "chasers" actually do work.

I think our cameras are in the photo department....on the other side of the store, with the big sign.
 
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Are you sure they were asking about THOSE cameras. :)

Anyhoo. I had a lovely one today. A lady came in claiming to be a nurse picking up insulin syringes for her aunt, a diabetic. She asked my why our syringes were $5 a pack when Walgreens sold them for just $2.50. Then when I was asking her what specific syringes she wanted, she told me that he aunt needed the long needles "because she's kind of fat". She was also asking for Oxycontin prices. Am I the only one not buying that she was a nurse?
 
keep it going ! Bananna has some of the best reads.
 
bananaface said:
Are you sure they were asking about THOSE cameras. :)

Anyhoo. I had a lovely one today. A lady came in claiming to be a nurse picking up insulin syringes for her aunt, a diabetic. She asked my why our syringes were $5 a pack when Walgreens sold them for just $2.50. Then when I was asking her what specific syringes she wanted, she told me that he aunt needed the long needles "because she's kind of fat". She was also asking for Oxycontin prices. Am I the only one not buying that she was a nurse?
Click to expand...


Gotta love those - they are the only peole I know who request the long-needle syringes. Dead giveaway. Who knew people needing their insulin so bad would be so gaunt, pale, dishevled, and jumpy with track marks on their arms??? Clearly it says to inject your insulin in different areas to avoid irritation! Perhaps they are not really diabetics afterall. :idea:

I love the complaints about the price of needles - ah, it's probably a hell of a lot cheaper than whatever it is you're putting inside them. :smuggrin:
 
I floated to a neighboring store today. A man came through the drive through and asked for the prescription by his last name, C _ _ _ w. I said, "Is that "C _ _ _ w" with a C? He responded, "No, with a W." :rolleyes: Apparently, I am supposed to be omnipotent, because he was annoyed when I asked him to spell his name out for me after that exchange.
 
Detailed Guide to Brightening Your Local Pharmacy Staff's Day:

1. Please remember to ask the technician to completely void out your entire ticket (all five of your prescriptions and a stack of sale items) because you refuse to believe that your copays could possibly have gone up, especially without you being notified...certainly the tech must have rung something up incorrectly.

2. Also be sure that it is the busiest time of the day, and make sure that you ask the tech to run price checks on those five rx's, both brand and generic. Feel free to inform the pharmacy staff that you "have better things to do than deal with this nonsense" and that "this crap happens every time I come to this store." Don't forget to rave at the technician when the total is the same as the first time!

3. Then shout across the counter to the pharmacist (who is on the phone, counseling pts, and typing things into the computer all at the same time) that you can't believe the pharmacy didn't call you to notify you that your copays went up.

4. Last but not least, as you leave, make sure you tell the six pts waiting in line behind you that this pharmacy makes a point to rip everyone off.
 
If you come into the pharmacy and ask the pharmacist about the greatest strength of Oxycontin available and the subsequent cost, that's one thing.

Rest assured, however, that if you return ten minutes later with a script filled out in pencil written for five refills of "Oxykottin" tabs then the cops will be waiting for you when you come to pick it up. :rolleyes:
 
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I was looking for some good humor. did all the annoying customers die?


:D
 
Let's not forget doctors who think they're god


Doctor: "Hello I'd like to call in a prescription for a patient blah blah
He needs MSIR 15mg #60"
Pharmacist: "Uh doctor, you cannot call in C2 prescriptions"
Doctor: "I'm a doctor i can do anything i want"
Pharmacist: ":::Laughs::::"
Doctor: "dingus, ::::clicks:::::"

This is a serious we had a doctor do this a few days ago. :eek:
mon dieu.
 
loo said:
If you are male, it is a weekend, you are rude and grumpy, you have no refills on your viagra, cialis, etc. AND your pharmacist is female...

please do not expect her to "give you a couple to hold you over" :cool:

I'm sorry, but it is not medically necessary for you to have an erection.
Click to expand...

BETTER YET, it is certainly not necessary if you need this and you are on MEDICAID, therefore I AM PAYING for your erection!!
 
If you bring me a list of the 14 maintenence meds you are on, I can instantly tell you which one of the 16 billion Medicare D plans to choose off the top of my head.

The generic clarithromycin, made by Abbott, is inferior to the branded Biaxin, made by Abbott.

Castor oil is appearently a miracle cure for arthritis because some quack physician wrote a column in the newspaper saying it is awesome. (We have sold about 150 bottles of castor oil in the last 4 weeks.)
 
Yeah, they are too busy worrying about their arthritis pain while they are sitting on the toliet discovering what castor oil is really good for.

I had a girl come in last week complaining of a headache, so i ask the common concusion questions. She's like ,"yeah, i was kicked in the head in soccer practice last week. The headache still isnt gone and i got super nasous in practice today" I gently explained that sne needs to go to the Er, she responds with "I know its a concusion i had one last year i just need some headache medicine" Uggles
 
WVUPharm2007 said:
If you bring me a list of the 14 maintenence meds you are on, I can instantly tell you which one of the 16 billion Medicare D plans to choose off the top of my head.

The generic clarithromycin, made by Abbott, is inferior to the branded Biaxin, made by Abbott.

Castor oil is appearently a miracle cure for arthritis because some quack physician wrote a column in the newspaper saying it is awesome. (We have sold about 150 bottles of castor oil in the last 4 weeks.)
Click to expand...
I love this thread. :love:
 
A script for Factive should be $5 because my copay is ALWAYS $5.

It is perfectly acceptable to scream at pharmay staff when my script for generic Lasix went up to $2.34 from $2.18. Especially since I am over 60 because I can claim I'm on a "fixed income." It doesn't matter if "fixed" in this case is $100,000/year, it's still my right as an elderly American to complain. You trying to take away my constitutional rights, ya pinko commie!?!?!

As you pick up your script for Cialis, it is appropriate to reply "I'll have a better night!" to the young, cute pharmacy interns that say, "Have a good day!" after ringing you up.
 
When I answer the phone, "Thank you for calling ____ Pharmacy, how may I help you?", that is your cue to spout off RX numbers to me without even an introduction because I am sitting poised by the computer screen waiting for your call.

The "man" you spoke to who was "rude" to you and kept asking you to repeat yourself when you attempted to call in your prescription on the automated line is not on payroll. He is a robot.

Just because there is a generic NAME for a drug does not mean that a generic alternative is available. (This really isn't their fault and I can see how it could be confusing but STILL :laugh:)

It is not necessary to whistle to Muzak in order to get me to notice you standing at the drop off window. I have peripheral vision.

Keep em coming!
 
"Why does it take 15 minutes to slap a label on an inhaler/eye drops/cream?"
 
I had one lady who didn't want a label, just to be handed a stock bottle in exchange for her Rx. When I wouldn't, she wanted her prescription back to take to someone who was "more efficient". Yeah, whatever. :laugh:

I like it when you say "hello" and they start hitting the keypad.
 
SuperTech said:
"Why does it take 15 minutes to slap a label on an inhaler/eye drops/cream?"
Click to expand...


That one totally my favorite. its the best when its some random eye drop and i go to see if we have it and a carry it back to teh computer with me and they see me holding the box. I usually respond wiht a very blunt,"yes, it will take 15minutes" then i turn and walk away. It seems much more effective than trying to explain the whole thing about people in front of you and checking for correctness. It gives them no room to try to argue.
 
This one always gets me:

Pharmacist: "Do you have prescription insurance? "
Pt: "Yes...xyz insurance.....followed with a stare"
Pharmacist (thinking to his/herself): "Shall I guess the numbers?"
Pharmacist: "I will need the card please"
Pt: "oh, i thought u could just look me up"

cheers

iceman.
 
I love it when you call an insurance to see why they are rejecting your information for the prescription claim, you get the automated operator and you have to listen all the way through the voice prompt to select an answer and they will put as many menus as they can so that you don't talk to a live representative and when you do they say "I am transfering to someone to better help you" and the next person asks for the information you gave to the first person all over again and they keep on transfering and eventually, you get on hold or they hang up and you have to do it all over again. If you're lucky, you get to talk to someone they routed the call to overseas and have a person with a really thick accent and keep on saying "one moment sir" over and over... and you can't understand them and it takes you 5 tries to put in the override codes cause all the numbers they are saying sound all the same

Patient: I like a refill on my birth control
Me: I'm sorry maam, it seems that your refills are expired
Patient:EXPIRED? They expire? I have unlimited refills!
Me: I'm sorry maam, prescriptions expire after one year they are written
Patient: Why didn't someone tell me? I need to taken them today
Me: Maam, you haven't gotten them filled in 5 months
Patient: <Stares at you in the face with disgust and walks away)

10 minutes later...
Phone: Hi This is ____ from _____ pharmacy and I need a transfer for ____
Me: The prescription is expired and she was here a few minutes ago
 
Me: Ma'am, just so you know, this is your last refill on your Yasmin.
Patient: No no no, there were a year's worth of refills on it, that's not right.
Me: Well, we can call your physician's office and see if we can't get more refills authorized for you...
Patient: No, I don't WANT you to call the doctor's office because I know there was a YEAR'S worth of refills on it.
Me: Let me go find the hard copy and we'll work this out
*ruffles around, finds hard copy*
Me: Well, it was a transferred prescription, and this "2" right here is the number of remaining fills that CVS had on file for you. You got one last month and then there's this one. See here that the date of the original Rx is about 10 months ago...Would you like me to call them and verify that this is correct?
Patient: Yes...well, wait...CVS doesn't have the hard copy, I transferred it from somewhere else..
Me: Okay, where was it before that?
Patient: Well, let's see, originally it was at Sam's Club, then I moved it to Kerr Drug, then to an Eckerd, then back to Kerr, then there was another CVS before this one...wait, it wasn't originally at Sam's Club, it was Harris Teeter...
Me: Uhh, how about you just call your doctor's office when you get home?
Patient: *sigh* Okay, I suppose...

Anyone else loathe gift cards?
 
iceman_rph said:
This one always gets me:

Pharmacist: "Do you have prescription insurance? "
Pt: "Yes...xyz insurance.....followed with a stare"
Pharmacist (thinking to his/herself): "Shall I guess the numbers?"
Pharmacist: "I will need the card please"
Pt: "oh, i thought u could just look me up"

cheers

iceman.
Click to expand...

And you've gotta love the omnipotent computer systems that are linked to every other pharmacy within a six county area....
 
b*rizzle said:
Anyone else loathe gift cards?
Click to expand...

There's this one CPA that comes in and writes himself and his sig. other a script for 10 ibuprofen cashed out at $5.99 and presents two of those damned $20 gift card coupons. That's just giving the guy $28 and 20 Ibu 800s. I'd do it, too, if I could. It's flippin hilarious.
 
How about the fact that they don't want to use the automated refill line. They just have to talk to you and give you 10 prescription numbers that they wanted refilled... They always pick the time when you are the busiest and tend to very s-l-o-w-l-y tell you the numbers...
 
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