Thinking of turning over a new leaf

[deleted464128]

Hi all, I posted a few weeks ago about myself, my history of cancer, and subsequent divorce and board failure.

Unfortunately I failed yet again.

As I had feared and anticipated, I was told my contract won't be renewed next year, and so I'll be out of a job.

I don't think I have the drive for pathology anymore, and I'm seriously thinking of walking away from path- 2 fellowships, a few book chapters and several publications, conferences and presentations later- with no regret.

I always wanted to be a family physician ever since I was a kid, perhaps this failure is a huge signpost that's guiding me to that end. Although I've been out of med school since 2003, I know I have the capacity to do well in clinical medicine, especially because I've been harboring a deep dark desire to leave the coldness of the scope and glass for a while now. Maybe it's just now that I have the cojones to admit it?

Anyway, I welcome any sincere advice/insight that you may have.

Love and God bless,
-s

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[pathstudent]

Good move. America needs more primary care docs as we mOve away from specialists and towards value over volume.

Hi all, I posted a few weeks ago about myself, my history of cancer, and subsequent divorce and board failure.

Unfortunately I failed yet again.

As I had feared and anticipated, I was told my contract won't be renewed next year, and so I'll be out of a job.

I don't think I have the drive for pathology anymore, and I'm seriously thinking of walking away from path- 2 fellowships, a few book chapters and several publications, conferences and presentations later- with nOve o regret.

I always wanted to be a family physician ever since I was a kid, perhaps this failure is a huge signpost that's guiding me to that end. Although I've been out of med school since 2003, I know I have the capacity to do well in clinical medicine, especially because I've been harboring a deep dark desire to leave the coldness of the scope and glass for a while now. Maybe it's just now that I have the cojones to admit it?

Anyway, I welcome any sincere advice/insight that you may have.

Love and God bless,
-s

 

[NuckingFuts]

Hi all, I posted a few weeks ago about myself, my history of cancer, and subsequent divorce and board failure.

Unfortunately I failed yet again.

As I had feared and anticipated, I was told my contract won't be renewed next year, and so I'll be out of a job.

I don't think I have the drive for pathology anymore, and I'm seriously thinking of walking away from path- 2 fellowships, a few book chapters and several publications, conferences and presentations later- with no regret.

I always wanted to be a family physician ever since I was a kid, perhaps this failure is a huge signpost that's guiding me to that end. Although I've been out of med school since 2003, I know I have the capacity to do well in clinical medicine, especially because I've been harboring a deep dark desire to leave the coldness of the scope and glass for a while now. Maybe it's just now that I have the cojones to admit it?

Anyway, I welcome any sincere advice/insight that you may have.

Love and God bless,
-s

Dear S,

I have to begin by commending you for getting to the point where you are. I had to re-read your original post to jog my memory- it certainly seems like you've accomplished much in your relatively young career.

I am so sorry the board didn't go your way.

As I had mentioned in a prior rant, the ABP board exam is a piece of **** test, and IMO does not do what it's supposed to- which is to allow you to show that you're a capable pathologist.

Anyhow, I would normally advise my pupils/friends to retake and retake and retake until they've passed. In your case, thinking of what you may have been through in the past few years, something tells me you'd make a marvelous clinician. In a way, I sense a compassion shining through in your posts, and I have a hunch that that compassion developed as a result of the curve balls life has apparently hurled your way.

Sure, you graduated in 2003, but honestly I don't think that's so bad.

I think you could bring a lot to a medicine residency program, and sure, you may struggle throughout, but if you're driven, you'll succeed.

I wish you all the best!

 

[KeratinPearls]

Hi all, I posted a few weeks ago about myself, my history of cancer, and subsequent divorce and board failure.

Unfortunately I failed yet again.

As I had feared and anticipated, I was told my contract won't be renewed next year, and so I'll be out of a job.

I don't think I have the drive for pathology anymore, and I'm seriously thinking of walking away from path- 2 fellowships, a few book chapters and several publications, conferences and presentations later- with no regret.

I always wanted to be a family physician ever since I was a kid, perhaps this failure is a huge signpost that's guiding me to that end. Although I've been out of med school since 2003, I know I have the capacity to do well in clinical medicine, especially because I've been harboring a deep dark desire to leave the coldness of the scope and glass for a while now. Maybe it's just now that I have the cojones to admit it?

Anyway, I welcome any sincere advice/insight that you may have.

Love and God bless,
-s

Go with whatever your heart desires. If you still love path, retake that exam and don't let past failures bring you down. If clinical medicine is what you love most (which it sounds like), then go for it and never look back. It sounds like you have been through a lot. Good luck with whatever you choose!

 

[WEBB PINKERTON]

Go for clinical medicine. You will be very glad you did.

Sometimes it takes a catalyst for change. Mine happened when a group of physicians, whom Id been doing business with for a long time, told me to lower my client pricing 50 cents or they would go to another lab. Been plotting my escape ever since.

 

[Kunu]

Another option is teaching. I have a contact who left a busy practice for a modest but more relaxing lifestyle teaching med school path offshore (Carib) and he has no regrets. Retooling as an intern in another field seems like more work than just studying harder if you're still BE.

 

[pathdawg]

Its interesting that many here seem to support the idea of quitting pathology and pursuing primary care.

That is the last thing I would do if I was you.

You have devoted far too much time and effort to patholgy to give it up.

Your only goal in life between now and next summer has to be to pass that exam. Period. Once you pass, everything will fall into place for you. But you have to do everything you can to pass. This will require putting in some serious time into reading and reviewing cases. You will have to study like you have never studied before.

Its okay. You can do this. However, you have to have the drive to fight for your career. Nobody on this board, including me, can really tell you what to do.

 

[Rbrav]

Based on the OP's previous posts, it seems his board eligibility has run out. I wonder if the ABP offers any sort of options for people in that situation?

 

[NuckingFuts]

Based on the OP's previous posts, it seems his board eligibility has run out. I wonder if the ABP offers any sort of options for people in that situation?

The OP is a "she", and board eligibility can be extended.

 

[gbwillner]

That really sucks.

If I were you, I'd still give it one more go. If you fail the 3rd time, you need an additional year of training (correct?). While it will still cost you time and money to take the exam, it will pale in comparison to doing residency all over again. You will rediscover your love for Pathology once you pass- this I guarantee.

Another thing I would look at in the assessment of this test- how close were you to passing? Did you fail both the written and the practical? This past test had the screwy thing about the virtual slides- it definitely made the test more difficult because:
A. There were fewer questions to be graded on, and who knows if this was even taken into account in scoring (i.e, maybe you still needed the same number correct to pass)
B. You had less time to do the practical portion (AND they didn't tell you that!)
C. the virtual questions are supposed to be easier (or so I hear).

Anyway, I know it's depressing now and you feel defeated- but get back on the horse- start studying again and you'll see how much you've retained.

 

[Rbrav]

The OP is a "she", and board eligibility can be extended.

Oops, guess I didn't read that original post closely enough. Sorry if I offended, and thanks for answering my question.

 

[samsoniter]

First off Marginsnegative, my condolences on not passing the boards, as well as the other personal tragedies you have endured. Though I am relatively inexperienced, I think it is sound advice to always go with you heart. Are you just exasperated by the recent attempt at boards and want to throw in the pathology towel? I think it is very important to evaluate the reasons behind wanting to leave the filed....would you regret it decades down the road? It appears as though you have the option to give it one more shot, to which I would say why not? Maybe after that you could evaluate your career goals.
If you feel fammed is more up your alley, it is possible to obtain DEA/state medical licenses in numerous states without having completed a residency, but the job opportunities for a non board eligible/certified FM doc are somewhat slim, but within reach...i.e. you could land a job in a clinic without even going to another residency.
I say keep it up, and it is always darkest before the dawn,

 

[Napoleon1801]

Hi all, I posted a few weeks ago about myself, my history of cancer, and subsequent divorce and board failure.

Unfortunately I failed yet again.

As I had feared and anticipated, I was told my contract won't be renewed next year, and so I'll be out of a job.

I don't think I have the drive for pathology anymore, and I'm seriously thinking of walking away from path- 2 fellowships, a few book chapters and several publications, conferences and presentations later- with no regret.

I always wanted to be a family physician ever since I was a kid, perhaps this failure is a huge signpost that's guiding me to that end. Although I've been out of med school since 2003, I know I have the capacity to do well in clinical medicine, especially because I've been harboring a deep dark desire to leave the coldness of the scope and glass for a while now. Maybe it's just now that I have the cojones to admit it?

Anyway, I welcome any sincere advice/insight that you may have.

Love and God bless,
-s

I would weigh your options carefully, since doing another residency is going to be at least 3 years if not more. Plus, no offense, but it might be difficult with your record to land another residency. Plus, even if you do, it's probably not going to be a nice residency. I only say this because I've seen two friends do this and are now in their 40's completing a residency. They aren't the happiest about that.

And sure, I'll chime in with everyone else, don't do anything that makes your life suck, pathology or otherwise. But again....look at all your options. Another residency won't be a picnic.

 

[Autopsy Sweet]

Hi all, I posted a few weeks ago about myself, my history of cancer, and subsequent divorce and board failure.

Unfortunately I failed yet again.

As I had feared and anticipated, I was told my contract won't be renewed next year, and so I'll be out of a job.

I don't think I have the drive for pathology anymore, and I'm seriously thinking of walking away from path- 2 fellowships, a few book chapters and several publications, conferences and presentations later- with no regret.

I always wanted to be a family physician ever since I was a kid, perhaps this failure is a huge signpost that's guiding me to that end. Although I've been out of med school since 2003, I know I have the capacity to do well in clinical medicine, especially because I've been harboring a deep dark desire to leave the coldness of the scope and glass for a while now. Maybe it's just now that I have the cojones to admit it?

Anyway, I welcome any sincere advice/insight that you may have.

Love and God bless,
-s

Have you considering seeing a counselor? Don't get me wrong, I don't think there's anything wrong with you. You just sound defeated, and I can't imagine having to endure all that you have endured without feeling the same way. My thoughts are that if you spoke with someone who is professionally trained that you might be able to answer your questions about whether to try again (i.e. get an extension of your eligibility), or to switch to fam med. Maybe the reason you're feeling the "coldness of the scope" isn't that you're tired of pathology, but that you're just tired of it all. Those feelings won't necessarily go away just because you switch specialties and, like others have said, repeating residency will not be a cake walk.

Best of luck, though, with your tough decision.

 

[LADoc00]

Good luck. I think a background in pathology will serve you quite well in primary care.

Definitely not wasted time imo.

 

[anotherpath]

I say good luck and go for it!
I feel your pain, I was recently told by my residency that I would not be renewed for next year (er, this year) and after a moment of panic, I realized it was a great opportunity, because I really hated my life in surgery.
Of course it really blows to have to start over, I am currently playing stay at home mom while I am applying to pathology residency programs and gearing up to start interviews again. I feel completely out of the loop and adrift tackling a new field, but I am excited as well.
I also struggled with the time investment thing, I will be starting a new residency when the people I started surgery with are graduating and that makes me feel like a big loser. but, surgery wasn't working for me, and I was trying to tough it out for a few more years to finish training but really didn't see any future as an attending, either, and what kind of life is that? I also recently heard a discussion on how humans are the only animals that invest time in something and expect the time debt to mean anything. just because you've invested time in training doesn't mean anything if you don't like it. don't stay in the field just because you've sunk time in it.

 

[Maximinus Thrax]

I have to say after reading through most of the comments here that the attitude is pretty poor. I would say that the persons encouraging the writer of the original post to quit is really who should hang it up. If you are an attending or worse an attending at a teaching institution, I would like to see you stripped of the teaching title. What kind of teacher has any business telling a learner to quit. That is the worst kind of person you can be.....a complete disgrace to the profession and humanity. Re-examine your own life and get out of the field. I would not want you as a teacher for myself, my children, or my colleagues.

 

[lipomas]

I have to say after reading through most of the comments here that the attitude is pretty poor. I would say that the persons encouraging the writer of the original post to quit is really who should hang it up. If you are an attending or worse an attending at a teaching institution, I would like to see you stripped of the teaching title. What kind of teacher has any business telling a learner to quit. That is the worst kind of person you can be.....a complete disgrace to the profession and humanity. Re-examine your own life and get out of the field. I would not want you as a teacher for myself, my children, or my colleagues.

What? The original poster said they had lost their drive and think they want to do FP.

How is it a poor attitude to tell someone who admits they don't have any passion for the job to find something else to do? You prefer encouraging someone who hates what they do to keep doing it? You know what happens in that situation?
1) Family problems (divorce, etc)
2) Early death due to suicide or stress
3) Miserable existence.

For example, I hate the OR. If I had to be a surgeon I would be full on miserable. I honored my surgery rotation. They all said I would be good at it. I might very well be, but I would hate it. Does that mean I should be a surgeon? **** no!

 

[gungho]

I came to Path after 19 yr of Fam Med and while I really like Path and have no regrets about the change, I have maintained my BC in Fam Med and would be a much better family doc after the time I've spent in Path were I to return to Fam Med.

 

[deleted113029]

Dear S,

I have to begin by commending you for getting to the point where you are. I had to re-read your original post to jog my memory- it certainly seems like you've accomplished much in your relatively young career.

I am so sorry the board didn't go your way.

As I had mentioned in a prior rant, the ABP board exam is a piece of **** test, and IMO does not do what it's supposed to- which is to allow you to show that you're a capable pathologist.

Anyhow, I would normally advise my pupils/friends to retake and retake and retake until they've passed. In your case, thinking of what you may have been through in the past few years, something tells me you'd make a marvelous clinician. In a way, I sense a compassion shining through in your posts, and I have a hunch that that compassion developed as a result of the curve balls life has apparently hurled your way.

Sure, you graduated in 2003, but honestly I don't think that's so bad.

I think you could bring a lot to a medicine residency program, and sure, you may struggle throughout, but if you're driven, you'll succeed.

I wish you all the best!

To s: good luck with everything. I hope you find what you are looking for.

To nuckingfuts: to call the ABP exam a POS exam is kinda ridiculous. it's an exam with an 85-90% pass rate. it also has a respectable test committee http://www.abpath.org/Committees.pdf You indirectly minimize the accomplishments of those who passed.

 

[NuckingFuts]

To s: good luck with everything. I hope you find what you are looking for.

To nuckingfuts: to call the ABP exam a POS exam is kinda ridiculous. it's an exam with an 85-90% pass rate. it also has a respectable test committee http://www.abpath.org/Committees.pdf You indirectly minimize the accomplishments of those who passed.

We're entitled to our own opinions.

FYI- I maintain friendships with about 80% of the folks on the list you so kindly linked to, and break bread with at least 20 of them every month.

My views of the POS exam are limited to just that- the exam. It is, in my opinion, a poor measure of how well one can practice the art of pathology in its entirety- from diagnostics, to communication of results, to lab management. If you perceived my comment as an insult to my colleagues- board certified or not- then that's YOUR bad.