What to say in card to terminally ill mentor?

[neurotic_cow]

I recently found out that my long-time mentor and dissertation chair is terminally ill and is expected to pass shortly. Their family is requesting cards but I am at a loss for what one says in a card like that. This person was exceptionally influential for my career and life and I am very fond of them. As a psychologist, I feel like I should know what to say, and I just don't even know where to begin.

I know this is more of a personal topic for this board but I appreciate any advice you may have.

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[R. Matey]

If it were me, I would write about their impact on my life.

 

[Sanman]

Start with "Thank you" and see what comes out of your head from there. It's okay to not know what to say. What would your mentor have to say about that?

 

[psycle708]

Agree with the above. Also, I love this card company - Idk if it fits your mentor's personal taste but their cards aren't the regular hallmark fluff.

Empathy Cards, Sympathy Cards, Get Well Cards for Illness & Loss

Our Empathy Cards and Sympathy Cards focus on real, authentic ways to communicate about sickness & suffering. These aren't regular get well cards. Our goal is to help people connect with each other through truth and insight, which is one of the founding principles of this brand.

emandfriends.com

 

[Sanman]

Agree with the above. Also, I love this card company - Idk if it fits your mentor's personal taste but their cards aren't the regular hallmark fluff.

Empathy Cards, Sympathy Cards, Get Well Cards for Illness & Loss

Our Empathy Cards and Sympathy Cards focus on real, authentic ways to communicate about sickness & suffering. These aren't regular get well cards. Our goal is to help people connect with each other through truth and insight, which is one of the founding principles of this brand.

emandfriends.com

Interesting link. Personally, having worked with death for more than a decade in hospice and geriatrics, I do hope at least one person sends me a "Congratulations" card if I am ever diagnosed with a terminal illness. However, that may just be my gallows humor.

 

[borne_before]

What would you want your fellows to say about you at your funeral? Who would you want there? How would they discuss your impact on them?

I probably wouldn't skirt around the dying part. I'd probably start with a clear example of a time when their mentorship was especially meaningful to you and discuss some concrete ways that it continues to inform your practice/development. Next, I would discuss a time when they were there for you. Finally, I'd discuss how their impact, work, and effort will echo through the ages through you and the others they worked with.