Best time to have a baby ...

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Paws

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Ok, Paws is just thinking aloud here but does anyone have a preferred time for having a kid during medical school? Some say the first year, but then second year comes and there's a ton more work, and then you have the boards so being pregnant could really be a drag.

What about third year, because then fourth year you can be more laid back and then having a kid would be easier to deal with.

Anyone have ideas or experiences? 🙂
 
Here, it's the first years of residency. Med school is pretty much a no-no, then again, we aren't even 24 when we finish it, so it might explain why people have kids later here.
 
Are you the guy or girl?

During Med school you're living off of outrageous loans.

During Residency you're living off of $5/hour with little to no free time.

Eh, your call mate.
 
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Paws is a female! 🙂

End of residency? holy cow that is 7 years away. One of my female classmates has a two year old and she is fine with everything. We have decent and inexpensive childcare help here so I was thinking now would be a good time to do it - I mean, sometime in the next four years. Seven years, whew I can hardly see that far but I understand what you mean Dr Mom.

It's hard to postpone life; alot of my male classmates have mega loans and their wives stay at home with the kidlets. I'm not saying where I am, but it's a pretty traditional place. That's not for me, I want to be a working mom just like my mother and grandmother. It can be done, I am just trying to figure out the best way to do it. 😉
 
It is a tough decision. I decided to do it backwards (kid significantly before med school...I stayed home until Little Miss started 2nd grade), but that has its hurdles, too. Basically, at this point Mr. DrMom is staying at home, which makes life soooo much better for the whole family. The loans frighten me, but its best for my family.

No clear cut answers, I'm afraid.
 
Although I know this is too late for you now, I think the best time is about 2 years before you start. It seems to have been a good time for me. I got a good two years in with my daughter before I started and didn't have to deal with the whole stumbling through the day thinking "Dear Lord, what have I gotten myself into?!" period while coping with school. But then again, now I have a toddler with constant energy who doesn't care if mommy needs to study fat metabolism in the fed state. Of course, what makes it doable for me is having a husband with a grown-up career who can support all of us and take over a lot of the daily care, such as taking her to and picking her up from day care.

There are two gals in my class (I'm a first year) who are pregnant right now. Actually, one is due sometime this week! Neither of them seem fazed about having a newborn and dealing with med school at the same time. Luckily, both of them also have husbands with grown-up jobs. Like Dr. Mom said, you just deal with it. You figure out ways to make it work. You immediately find the other mommies in the class and start networking your child care options. Before you start the process, you might try talking to upperclasswomen at your school and finding out what they think, especially mommies or at least people who are married. They have a better understanding of what the schedule is like. I think that talking to women is important, though, as dads have a very different experience.
 
Based on what I have seen, I think that 1st year is best followed by 4th year. After med school, I have no idea yet. That said, I've seen pregnancies in all 4 of the years and I have a friend who had one in the 1st year of residency. It all worked out fine. The bottom line is that do what is right for you, based on your spouse, age, potential speciality, etc.

There is a woman physician here at Creighton who waited for the right time. Her right time put her in her late 30s. Around that time she had some serious health problems, and now cannot have children. She would say, don't wait just for the right time, with respect to med school. Do it when it is the right time for you personally.
 
Here's the thing. While you might be worried about Down Syndrome as you watch the decades go by (though apparently cleft palate has no bearing on maternal age.. putting embryo to good use).. you have to ask yourself, how much time will you have to devote to your child? I mean, unless the father grows lactating boobies.. you already have to be there to let your kids suckle. And does your husband (I assume), work? If so, where would that leave your kids? More reason girls should not be allowed in Medical School!! :laugh:

Just kidding, but it's a tough spot. As Dr. Mom said, probably post-residency would afford the best time.. but remember, anytime past 15 and you don't pump out a baby, that just increases you chances for breast cancer!! :laugh: :laugh:
 
At my school we had a family/parents/spouses day. It was to let our loved ones know what we would be going through the next 4 years. One of the topics covered was about having children. They told us that there is "NO GOOD TIME" so just go ahead and have them when you want to. We had several female students and residents speak during the program. There was one doctor who had two in med school, two during residency and is pregnant
again.
 
wantobemd already posted what I have heard... basically, if you think about it and try to analyze when is the best time there is always going to be something that makes it NOT the right time. So, just go ahead and do it and then let everything else work itself out.

This isn't actually my advice, just what others have said.

On the other hand, I can't see taking care of a baby right now (during second year). Some of my classmates have/are having kids and seem to be able to balance things pretty well though.
 
Here's my question:

If a woman gets pregnant during residency, how much time is she allowed off? 6 months? A year?
 
chameleonknight said:
Here's my question:

If a woman gets pregnant during residency, how much time is she allowed off? 6 months? A year?
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Just enough time to pop it out of her vagina!! 👍
 
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chameleonknight said:
Here's my question:

If a woman gets pregnant during residency, how much time is she allowed off? 6 months? A year?
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Depends on the residency. I think 6 weeks - 3 mos. is more common but hardly set in stone.


As for timing, I've heard most people say 4th yr, since that's the easiest year, but I've also seen women pregnant in all 4 years of med school and most years of residency (just not intern year).
 
When you get pregnant.

Really, I have known people who had them when they were first years, second years, third years (including myself) and fourth year. ditto for residency.

My kid is 4. (I had her 3 days after finishing my surgery rotation of MS3). Has worked out fin.
 
Roja-- How was it being prego on rotations? I am looking to have a baby possibly due end of 3rd year... (i am just ms1 now)

also... i saw you are in EM.... I'd love to hear how that works out with having a child.
 
gatsbyjo said:
Roja-- How was it being prego on rotations? I am looking to have a baby possibly due end of 3rd year... (i am just ms1 now)

also... i saw you are in EM.... I'd love to hear how that works out with having a child.
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well, I was lucky, I didn't have that many problems. I got pregnant middle of second year. (Suuuuuuuuurprise!). My first rotation was surgery, so the last 3 mos of my pregnancy was spent there. It wasn't bad, but I was veyr lucky. I didn't have a difficult pregnancy. Not much nausea, etc. I was no more tired than any one else. (well, maybe a little, but not much)

Key points to making it work out okay? don't expect special treatment. If you are having a hard time (lots of n/v, etc) then you need to have provisions to take time off. Don't burden your classmates with your pregnancy. They're not pregnant, you are.

EM works great. I do shift work. I know when I am working etc. Kiddo is in school during the week. Dad works normal hours, so it works fine. Plus, I got to really hang with my kid (she was about 2) during my fourth year, which was great. We went to the zoo alot, etc. Much more fun than hanging with them when there blobs. 😀

I also managed to breast feed for a year. used a pump. Just took at 15 minute break on rotations every 4 hours. Wasn't ever a problem.
 
roja said:
well, I was lucky, I didn't have that many problems. I got pregnant middle of second year. (Suuuuuuuuurprise!). My first rotation was surgery, so the last 3 mos of my pregnancy was spent there. It wasn't bad, but I was veyr lucky. I didn't have a difficult pregnancy. Not much nausea, etc. I was no more tired than any one else. (well, maybe a little, but not much)

Key points to making it work out okay? don't expect special treatment. If you are having a hard time (lots of n/v, etc) then you need to have provisions to take time off. Don't burden your classmates with your pregnancy. They're not pregnant, you are.

EM works great. I do shift work. I know when I am working etc. Kiddo is in school during the week. Dad works normal hours, so it works fine. Plus, I got to really hang with my kid (she was about 2) during my fourth year, which was great. We went to the zoo alot, etc. Much more fun than hanging with them when there blobs. 😀

I also managed to breast feed for a year. used a pump. Just took at 15 minute break on rotations every 4 hours. Wasn't ever a problem.
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:wow:
Man... you make it sound soo easy! You're definently more woman that I.
 
Its not that big of a deal. You need a good support system and the realization that you can do it.


I know tons of women that do it.
 
I've barely been able to take care of myself, much less anyone else over the past four years. First and Second years I didn't feel I could spare the time it took to go to the grocery store or exercise. Third year I was never home. I've finally decided to get a pet after I'm through with interviews so I can get through the puppy/kitten stage during 4th year while I have free time. I commend anyone who can raise a child while doing all this. There is no good time to have a baby as a doctor, period. I think it all depends on your support system and what you think you can handle as a person. While having a baby isn't an option for me anytime soon, I've always felt I would wait until I was in private practice and completely settled. I had a classmate who had a baby during 1st year. It seemed to be something she played with on study breaks to hear her talk, not a child, and this annoyed me. I totally support working and having children but there is a limit.
 
Why should it annoy you? What works for one family might not work for you, but might be dandy for them. You shouldn't project your own ideology about childrearing on to others.
(obviously aside from child abuse)

And who sets the limit? (just playing devil's advocate here)

Be careful throwing stones, you don't know what your life will be like, even in private practice.

Now, I gotta go pick up my kid and play with her, in between studying. 😉
 
I am impressed with all of you who have handled having/raising children while in med school. It is something that I think that I might be facing in the next few years and its great to hear that it can be done. 🙂
 
My two girls were 5 and 7 when I started med school. I had started taking post-bacc classes when they were 3 and 5 - preschool and kindergarten - so I went to school while they were in school. My husband and I figured that med school wouldn't be too bad for me with them in school full time and fairly independent ( i.e. - not in diapers, can dress, feed and pick up after themselves). The big surprise was finding out I was pregnant and due about 6 wks into what was supposed to be my MS1 year. I really wasn't sure if I should defer a year or try to make school work with a newborn. I ended up having my son about a month early - 2 weeks after starting as an MS1. UCONN told me I could take it a month at a time and if I had to leave for medical reasons I would only own tuition for the months I was there - not the whole year.

Things could not have worked out better. Although I certainly had some rough moments last year, I passed all my exams and did not need to remediate anything. My son is wonderful and has really completed out family.

There definitely is no 'perfect' time to have kids - whether you are in med school or not! The biggest benefit to me is that having a family forces me to keep my life in balance. I can't let med school take over my life because my husband and kids will always come first. Balance is the key.
 
Hi all,
First of all, to the current moms on this thread - thank you for sharing, you inspire us all!
I spoke to a pediatric oncologist here in NY who currently has three kids, and I asked her this same question, i.e., what's the best time? She echoed what others have here - there IS no best time. She said that the nature of hte field means you'll always be crunched for a good schedule, so it's best to plan for when you and your spouse feel it's best for you personally and as a family (and biologically, of course!). She emphasized having a supportive spouse with a flexible schedule.
She also mentioned something I hadn't thought of - she said that if you do plan a baby around your med school path, think about where you would be happy "leaving off." I.e., starting a family can drastically change your life, perhaps in such a way that you can't pursue career goals as rigorously as originally planned. If you have a baby during residency - would you be happy practicing as a primary practitioner, rather than pursuing fellowship? She mentioned that you need to keep that possibility in mind. Not a hard and fast rule, I'm sure, but something to think about.
As for kiddies in med school - I really think it would depend upon your program, its culture, the rigor of the curriculum, and teh flexibility of the administration. It sounds like the other schools described here are very family friendly, while from my experience as an MSIII @ Unnamed Med School, married students with kids are a rarity (I still get gaping mouths from certain students every so often when they remember that I drive off campus every night to return home to my hubby).
 
I don't know when the best time is, but we will be having our 1st in january. Our situation works out very well for us but I am not the one having the baby.

I know of a 4th year here who had 4 kids in 4 years of medical school. (the husband).
 
roja said:
Why should it annoy you? What works for one family might not work for you, but might be dandy for them. You shouldn't project your own ideology about childrearing on to others.
(obviously aside from child abuse)

And who sets the limit? (just playing devil's advocate here)

Be careful throwing stones, you don't know what your life will be like, even in private practice.

Now, I gotta go pick up my kid and play with her, in between studying. 😉
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I'm sorry if I offended you, I guess my point wasn't quite clear. I simply meant that this classmate hardly ever saw her child because she was always in the library and labs and it was her mother and husband who were raising the child, not her. It may have been perfect for her and it may be fine for some of you. I just wanted to point out what you may have to give up and if you're fine with it then I wish you the best of luck! I'm going into Peds and am surrounded by pregnant residents who make it work. Somebody has to point at the downside and from my perspective as a female med student, I know it's just not something I could have handled in addition to school. 🙂
 
evajaclynn said:
I am impressed with all of you who have handled having/raising children while in med school. It is something that I think that I might be facing in the next few years and its great to hear that it can be done. 🙂
Click to expand...

uhhhh, are you talking about Nala???? hahahahaha
 
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I think the best time would be your 3rd year in med school. Right at the start of your surgery rotation. You'll have plenty of free time then. 😀
 
fourthyearmed said:
I'm sorry if I offended you, I guess my point wasn't quite clear. I simply meant that this classmate hardly ever saw her child because she was always in the library and labs and it was her mother and husband who were raising the child, not her. It may have been perfect for her and it may be fine for some of you. I just wanted to point out what you may have to give up and if you're fine with it then I wish you the best of luck! I'm going into Peds and am surrounded by pregnant residents who make it work. Somebody has to point at the downside and from my perspective as a female med student, I know it's just not something I could have handled in addition to school. 🙂
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You didn't offend. I was just playing devil's advocate. 🙂


The key is figuring out when its right for YOU. And some people have the absentee parenting, regardless of thier career. Med school was never my primary focus. Having a life outside was always very important, even when single.
 
Women at my school have had babies all 4 years. Some take time off, some don't. Some babies are planned, some aren't. Most of the planned babies seem to happen during 4th year, that is, the pregnancy is at the tail end of 3rd year and they have the baby during 4th. I don't think it can be done without amazing support systems, but we definetly have people doing it. I'm not going to be having kids while in med school, but if I was then I'd pick 4th year.

Good luck!!
 
felipe5 said:
uhhhh, are you talking about Nala???? hahahahaha
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hey felipe - well, someday I'll probably actually have kids besides just raising this crazy puppy! 🙂 But it obviously won't be any time real soon.

BTW, good luck on your upcoming exams! :luck: :luck: :luck:
 
i'm impressed with all of the women that make the situation work for them and handle it successfully. myself, i can barely take care of me, my cat, and my sick ferret, let alone another human being. much respect to those who can. 🙂
 
I just found out last weekend that my wife and I are going to be parents. I couldn't be more thrilled 😀 ! 😀 ! :clap: :wow: 😍 😱 😀 🙂 :laugh: 😀

The due date is July4th! That gives me about 4 weeks, give or take, with our newborn before I start my first year of medical school.

Any advice from those that are ahead. This will be our first kid but we've been married 6 years. She is an attorney but will take about 4-6 months off to stay home with our baby.

Any stories out there to help me better prepare for this?
 
chameleonknight said:
Here's my question:

If a woman gets pregnant during residency, how much time is she allowed off? 6 months? A year?
Click to expand...

I wish! Most places in the US allow for 6 weeks of paid leave if it's a vaginal delivery, 8 weeks for a c-section. However, often this "paid" leave means that you are simply allowed to use up all your vacation and sick leave to get paid while you're gone. The Family Medical Leave Act of ~1996 allows for anyone to take off up to 12 weeks, unpaid, in 12 months for any medically related reason in the family, to include maternity leave.

In my case, I simply had to take 12 weeks of unpaid leave. I could have gotten paid for 6 weeks for it, but I would have had to use up all my vacation and sick leave, then I could have gotten donated leave from other employees. Of course, that would have left me with no leave when I returned to work, which was not an enticing option. With some companies, you can work out getting some pay through short term disability (again, up to 6 or 8 weeks). I couldn't use that option, working for the federal government.
 
Sweet Tea said:
Women at my school have had babies all 4 years. Some take time off, some don't. Some babies are planned, some aren't. Most of the planned babies seem to happen during 4th year, that is, the pregnancy is at the tail end of 3rd year and they have the baby during 4th. I don't think it can be done without amazing support systems, but we definetly have people doing it. I'm not going to be having kids while in med school, but if I was then I'd pick 4th year.

Good luck!!
Click to expand...


I'm with Sweet Tea here, this is what I was leaning towards. I think it's awesome to read everyone's comments here. I love where I am living and I think the childcare situation is great and so I am inclined to think about this option. You never know how your body will do things but at least this will be the general plan for me. 🙂

I am all for women going right on with their lives, baby and all! Why not? And hiring a good sitter is the best thing (for me) and it will be a great investment in the little one's life. We all need lots of different people in our lives and I know from when I used to babysit, I LOVED it and it was one of the best jobs I ever had. I considered that little boy like he was my own. So, baby gets a loving sitter, sitter gets a good job, and mom and dad get someone awesome to help out with baby.

👍

It's great to get everyone's ideas here !
 
There is no perfect time, but I would try to avoid delivering during third year if possible (being pregnant then might be fine, depending on how the pregnancy goes). The first two years of med school you're just going to classes and studying, and at most schools you can skip lectures without a problem (if a transcript service is available) so you could have lots of time at home with your baby, even if you're studying at the same time. I really haven't found the first two years to be all that time-intensive, personally. There's a good bit of studying, but unless you're trying to honor everything, not as much as you might think. The other good time--probably the best time in medical school--is during fourth year. But then you have to deal with having an infant or one year old during your internship year, and being away a lot, which isn't something I'd want to do. My husband and I plan to wait until I've finished my residency (he'll probably still be finishing his residency, because the fields he's interested in take longer) before we have kids. That'll put me at 28 or 29, which is about the age I'd want to be anyway. At that point, I plan to take a year or so off and then find a position where I can work part-time until the kids are school-age.Then I'll either go for a fellowship or go back to work full-time, depending on what the opportunities and my interests are. I'm a little worried about getting back into the field after working part-time for a number of years (will anyone want to hire me?), but I figure getting further training is a good way to deal with that problem. Does anyone out there know any women docs who have taken off a substantial amount of time after having kids or who have managed to find a way to work part-time? I know it's possible in peds (my pediatrician did it) but I'm more interested in IM. It seems to me that all the women docs I know were back at work full-time within three months of having a baby, which is great if it's what you want, but it's not what I want to do. I just wonder if anything else is possible, or if that really is the only way to do things that isn't career suicide.

I agree though, you have to do it at the time that's right for you, all things considered (personally, professionally, and biologically). If I wanted to have kids right now I don't think I'd wait until after residency to have them, but the fact is that I'm still young (turning 23), newly married, and don't want them yet. I definitely want them someday, but right now I think I have enough on my plate without kids and I want some time to enjoy being young and enjoy being married before we add additional responsibilities to our plate. Of course, accidents can happen...and if it did, we'd be thrilled and we'd love the child. However, it's not something we're planning on right now.
 
I think career suicide is a good way of putting it. I have lawyer, business and banking friends and they went right back after the baby came (or took the three months max). Why? Because the competition is right behind you all the time and a futzy baby obsessed worker is = an unemployed worker.

Medicine might be different, but I would doubt it. Why? for the same reasons stated above. If you're in your own practice well,then ok. But coworkers and other professionals do not want to pamper anyone - new, mom or not. I don't blame them. I can't stand new moms at work who are not working and pulling their own weight. And I don't like doing their work for them when they come in late and leave early etc.

I know, do I sound harsh? well, it's just that I have worked already and am a bit older and so it's just what I have seen. Women can do it full-time or so, we just need to strategize and allow other people to help us - good child care workers, sitters, etc. Then there's no reason why we can't work hard and still have a good family life. 🙂
 
I don't see how it's screwing my co-workers over if I take a specifically PART-TIME position that the employer designates as such and then work what I'm paid for--part time. I am not talking about slacking off at a regular, "full-time" job but taking a job that is specifically intended to be a part-time position and getting pay commensurate to the number of hours I work. I would never, ever take a position that was full-time and then just work less than that and not pull my weight. In fact, I'm kind of insulted by the implication.

If the market forces are such that there are part-time positions available in medicine, and if I am willing to take one of these positions and accept the loss of pay involved, I don't see anything wrong with it. I know from talking to my stepmother, who works as a psychiatrist for a large HMO, that there are part-time positions available in many fields at the HMO where she works, and I would imagine this is not a unique situation particular to this HMO. Even several ob/gyns in her clinic work part-time. It's now possible to find a part-time position in most fields of medicine, not just pediatrics as used to be the case. I realize I'm not going to have my pick of jobs if I choose to work part-time, my options will be restricted and I may have to accept a job with less-than-ideal working conditions in other ways. To me, that's worth it. I'll take what I can get. There are plenty of rural and inner-city clinics that need doctors, which would probably be happy to have someone help out three days a week to fill in the gaps. That's the kind of work I would like to do anyway, whether I'm working part-time or not. I'm not asking for special privillages and I don't expect to get to cherry-pick whatever job I want. I want to work part-time while my kids are young, and I understand that there are sacrifices involved in that. I accept that I will make a lot less money during that period, that I have to rule out certain specialties that would not work with the kind of lifestyle I want to have, and that there will probably be some career repurcussions to my decision and that I won't rise as far as I might if I chose to keep working 60 hour weeks straight through like many men (and some women) do. I don't care a lot about status or being at the very top of my field, so that's okay with me, as long as I feel like I'm a good doctor and taking care of my patients and making a contribution.

It is very important to me to be there to raise my own kids while they are young. You may not understand the strength of that desire for me, or the reasons behind it, and you don't have to agree with me. Nevertheless, it's how I feel. I had a fantastic childhood and I think the fact that my mom stayed home with me until I was five had something to do with that. I have wonderful memories of that time period, and I think it's part of the reason we're as close as we are today. I'd like to do the same for my own kids. I'm not saying it's not possible to have a fantastic childhood with a mother who works full-time from the beginning; I'm sure it is. It's just not the model I have in my head for how I want to do things when I have kids. It's an absolutely fine choice for somebody else, just not for me.

I still believe I can make a contribution to medicine even if I work part-time for five or so years of my career. We'll be doctors for 40,45 years. That means I'll still have a good 35 years to work full-time. That gives me plenty of time to do significant work and make a contribution. Medicine is very important to me, and it is what I love. I wouldn't want to give up doing it just because it is important to me to raise my children in a certain way, including being there most of the time when they are young. I think I'll have plenty of years after my children are older and in school to make a positive contribution. I'm bright, I've worked very hard to be where I am, and I love medicine. I don't understand why, in this day and age, I should have to choose between EVER having a real career or raising my children the way I want to, including a period of working part-time while they're young. Kids aren't young forever, and I'll have plenty of time when they're older to do interesting, challenging work and contribute something. That's the whole point of the feminist movement, that women SHOULDN'T have to choose between being mothers and being people and that there's not one right choice for everyone.

I am not putting down your desire to work full-time after having a baby. That's what you want, and there's nothing wrong with it. But it's not what I want. I want to be home with my children when they're small, and there's nothing wrong with my desire either. The whole point is that either choice is okay, and each woman must decide what's right for her and the ones she loves. I really believe that--that either choice is okay, it's just a matter of what's right for YOU and that's not going to be the same for every person.
 
Hey Jennie,

I know I was probably pretty harsh in what I said but I was feeling kind of crabby and over tired and I just came out and said it. We also have all six class exams in this week and so I am a little stressed and tired.

I didn't mean it against you in particular, but I feel there is some reality in what I say. I think it's hard these days to sort out the ways that women can work - part-time, full-time or whatever. We have more options than maybe previous generations and so sometimes there is conflict or differences and it's hard to know where we stand or what's best to do. We still have to juggle a ton of stuff, too, as women. 🙁

But I was just speaking from what I have observed from work and friends around me. Sometimes I am very cynical too, I admit. But I know two couples here where the wife works full-time in residency (or medical school) and the husband stays at home with the baby, so then you never know how things can be resolved. Like I said, our options are so different these days and we can really define our own lives in many more ways than our moms (or grandmothers) could.

I didn't mean to offend you - sometimes I can be a little harsh. Must be my city mentality where we cut to the chase a little too close sometimes ...
 
Paws I'm going to have to disagree here. The world of being a practicing MD is very different than being a banker/lawyer etc. In those fields, the competition is VERY VERY stiff. Its not like that in medicine. The beauty of medicine is that there are LOTS of options. You can structure your practicing a number of ways, depending on what you are looking for. You can start a private practice, you can join a large group (where working part time is fine, and usually cheaper for them), you can be a hospitalist (for IM/Peds) where you work shift work (again, full or part time). If you are rads, you can definately have a part time career.

and its easy to switch from full to part time and vice versa. If you fellow, you get even more flexibility.

Now, if you limit yourself to ONE place, you might have less options, but there are still lots of ways to work in medicine.


If you want to win the nobel prize or be superbigshot department chair, you probably will not get to work part time. But if you want to make a reasonable salary, take care of patients and be with your family there are lots of fields in medicine that give you that flexibility.
 
Hey Paws--that's okay, no problem. I know what it's like being stressed and tired before exams. You're right that we have many more choices today than our mothers or grandmothers did, and sometimes that can make things confusing. I'm glad we have them, though. BTW, I'm a city girl too believe it or not...just moved here recently, though, and I haven't acquired the big-city attitude or the thick skin that should go along with it yet!

Roja--that's really good information to hear! Thanks a lot for sharing your perspective.
 
jennie 21 said:
If the market forces are such that there are part-time positions available in medicine, and if I am willing to take one of these positions and accept the loss of pay involved, I don't see anything wrong with it.... I realize I'm not going to have my pick of jobs if I choose to work part-time, my options will be restricted and I may have to accept a job with less-than-ideal working conditions in other ways. To me, that's worth it. I'll take what I can get. There are plenty of rural and inner-city clinics that need doctors, which would probably be happy to have someone help out three days a week to fill in the gaps. That's the kind of work I would like to do anyway, whether I'm working part-time or not. I'm not asking for special privillages and I don't expect to get to cherry-pick whatever job I want. I want to work part-time while my kids are young, and I understand that there are sacrifices involved in that. I accept that I will make a lot less money during that period, that I have to rule out certain specialties that would not work with the kind of lifestyle I want to have, and that there will probably be some career repurcussions to my decision and that I won't rise as far as I might if I chose to keep working 60 hour weeks straight through like many men (and some women) do. I don't care a lot about status or being at the very top of my field, so that's okay with me, as long as I feel like I'm a good doctor and taking care of my patients and making a contribution.
It is very important to me to be there to raise my own kids while they are young. You may not understand the strength of that desire for me, or the reasons behind it, and you don't have to agree with me. Nevertheless, it's how I feel. I had a fantastic childhood and I think the fact that my mom stayed home with me until I was five had something to do with that. I have wonderful memories of that time period, and I think it's part of the reason we're as close as we are today. I'd like to do the same for my own kids. I'm not saying it's not possible to have a fantastic childhood with a mother who works full-time from the beginning; I'm sure it is. It's just not the model I have in my head for how I want to do things when I have kids. It's an absolutely fine choice for somebody else, just not for me.
I still believe I can make a contribution to medicine even if I work part-time for five or so years of my career. We'll be doctors for 40,45 years. That means I'll still have a good 35 years to work full-time. That gives me plenty of time to do significant work and make a contribution. Medicine is very important to me, and it is what I love. I wouldn't want to give up doing it just because it is important to me to raise my children in a certain way, including being there most of the time when they are young. I think I'll have plenty of years after my children are older and in school to make a positive contribution.... Kids aren't young forever, and I'll have plenty of time when they're older to do interesting, challenging work and contribute something. That's the whole point of the feminist movement, that women SHOULDN'T have to choose between being mothers and being people and that there's not one right choice for everyone.
I am not putting down your desire to work full-time after having a baby. That's what you want, and there's nothing wrong with it. But it's not what I want. I want to be home with my children when they're small, and there's nothing wrong with my desire either. The whole point is that either choice is okay, and each woman must decide what's right for her and the ones she loves. I really believe that--that either choice is okay, it's just a matter of what's right for YOU and that's not going to be the same for every person.
Click to expand...

Bravo :clap:
Well said.
 
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Ok, Paws stands corrected on this topic. Sorry if I sounded all business-school and harsh, but I guess that has been my frame of reference. I spend alot of my time with guys and professionally I have also mostly worked with men, and so that has affected my perspective too, I geuss. One of the reasons I love medicine is because you can be flexible, as Roja described, and there are a ton of options for women. Far more than in alot of other fields out there.

But, I appreciate the feedback and I learn alot from my fellow (female!)colleages.

:luck:
 
Paws said:
Ok, Paws stands corrected on this topic. Sorry if I sounded all business-school and harsh, but I guess that has been my frame of reference. I spend alot of my time with guys and professionally I have also mostly worked with men, and so that has affected my perspective too, I geuss.

But! I can accept criticism well and learn from my colleagues.

:luck:
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lol... those men are trouble, paws. 😉
 
I'm not trying to cause problems but I'm curious how you all feel about maternity leave causing extra work for your fellow residents. I feel very strongly against this because I have seen at my school's very small PEDIATRIC (not surgery) program the dislike directed towards a resident who has had 2 children during her residency and also took extended leave resulting in much extra work for the others. I am almost 100% sure I will not have a child during residency even if I do get married simply because I feel this is wrong. How have you all handled this?
 
fourthyearmed said:
I'm not trying to cause problems but I'm curious how you all feel about maternity leave causing extra work for your fellow residents. I feel very strongly against this because I have seen at my school's very small PEDIATRIC (not surgery) program the dislike directed towards a resident who has had 2 children during her residency and also took extended leave resulting in much extra work for the others. I am almost 100% sure I will not have a child during residency even if I do get married simply because I feel this is wrong. How have you all handled this?
Click to expand...

I'm willing to pull my weight even if it means that I take extra call before or after maternity leave, but I am not going to postpone childbearing for anyone's schedule other than mine and my husband's. You can't please everyone, anyway.
 
VienneseWaltz said:
I'm willing to pull my weight even if it means that I take extra call before or after maternity leave, but I am not going to postpone childbearing for anyone's schedule other than mine and my husband's. You can't please everyone, anyway.
Click to expand...


😀

Thanks guys. I feel the same way - as you probably noticed from what I said above. 👍

My mom and grandmother both worked fulltime and they had great professional jobs (chemist, writer) and were pretty darn happy in them - that's what I want, too! But sure don't want to leave my colleagues hanging - I want to carry my own load, too. Men can do it, why can't women? We just need good childcare help.
 
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