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Discover Your Odds of Getting into Medical School
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takara

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ok so i've already made my decision but i'm interested to hear what others would do
would you go to a med school with a girlfriend that you have dated for 7 years to a good tier one school that is not your dream school - or - go to the school that you have dreamed of and be fairly close to her as she goes to a med school she is not so happy with?
 
takara said:
ok so i've already made my decision but i'm interested to hear what others would do
would you go to a med school with a girlfriend that you have dated for 7 years to a good tier one school that is not your dream school - or - go to the school that you have dreamed of and be fairly close to her as she goes to a med school she is not so happy with?
Click to expand...

I'd take the dream school 🙂 There are several things I'd be willing to compromise for a girlfriend, education isn't one of them...
 
Avalanche21 said:
I'd take the dream school 🙂 There are several things I'd be willing to compromise for a girlfriend, education isn't one of them...
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Same thing here. Now let's hear from the holier-than-thou's.
 
Blake said:
Same thing here. Now let's hear from the holier-than-thou's.
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but that would also cause some royal pissedoffedness from the lady friend
 
takara said:
ok so i've already made my decision but i'm interested to hear what others would do
would you go to a med school with a girlfriend that you have dated for 7 years to a good tier one school that is not your dream school - or - go to the school that you have dreamed of and be fairly close to her as she goes to a med school she is not so happy with?
Click to expand...
I would go with the dream school, especially if the two schools are close enough that you can visit her often.
 
BrettBatchelor said:
Why
a) after 7 years are you not married to this girl?
b) does she not want to move with you?
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Answer:
a) we're only 22 and have no money- so marriage really isn't too practical at the moment but we're planning on it in the future 😍
b) she's going to med school too and didn't get into the one i want to go to
 
takara said:
Answer:
a) we're only 22 and have no money- so marriage really isn't too practical at the moment but we're planning on it in the future 😍
b) she's going to med school too and didn't get into the one i want to go to
Click to expand...

speaking as someone who is married, you need to go to the school where you will do the best. it may be harder for you two now, but being successful in med school is going to play a major role in your future life together, so go to the school where you will do the best, be the best doctor you can be, and live a successful happy life together when it's all said and done.
 
BrettBatchelor said:
Gotcha. You should maximize your career opportunities. Also how close is the closest option.
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80 miles
 
ok.. i HAVE to say something on this one.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!!!!????!!!!????

how are you EVER going to be a halfway decent physician if you cant even have compassion for the one you have been with for 7 years!?

if you choose your dream school over your dream girl then you should be shot. as should all of these youngins who are either jealous that you're in love or too caught up in imagined prestige to realize what is REALLY important. not to mention, and MD is an MD and you will have a wonderful career no matter where you go to school. ask any REAL doctor.

sorry, but it was breaking my heart to see these replies.
 
Thats an hour and a half by car. I would actually pick the close one if the dream school is a plane ride away. Just me though.
 
liveandlearn said:
ok.. i HAVE to say something on this one.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!!!!????!!!!????

how are you EVER going to be a halfway decent physician if you cant even have compassion for the one you have been with for 7 years!?

if you choose your dream school over your dream girl then you should be shot. as should all of these youngins who are either jealous that you're in love or too caught up in imagined prestige to realize what is REALLY important. not to mention, and MD is an MD and you will have a wonderful career no matter where you go to school. ask any REAL doctor.

sorry, but it was breaking my heart to see these replies.
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Ok but there are few things to consider-
what if the lady is compassionate and doesn't want me to compromise for her
what happens to the relationship once we both know that i gave up a dream for it
what if we are totally committed to keeping the relationship together and 80 miles is really not that far to be weekend lovas
 
liveandlearn said:
not to mention, and MD is an MD and you will have a wonderful career no matter where you go to school. ask any REAL doctor.

sorry, but it was breaking my heart to see these replies.
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👍
right on. There is not a bad M.D. program in the country. why would each of you want to go through something so difficult alone when you can do it together. If on the other hand you are just together b/c you have been dating since you were 15 yrs old and are now looking for the door, then you should go to the dream school.
 
I was in a similar situation and would implore you to ask what you value more.

Everyone here can give you their opinions but it boils down to what you did. Since you already made your decision (which I think was probably to stay with the girl, right?) you're obviously looking for affirmation.

Just because you don't go to your dream school does not mean you have sacrificed your career and now it's all pointless. You can still get the residency you want and practice the medicine you want to practice. What you have now is the security of the love you had which may have been jeopardized had you gone to the "dream school."
Everything is a trade-off and you haven't really lost much on this one.

To be sure, ask yourself do you value what you have with this girl more than a name?
 
MB in SD said:
I was in a similar situation and would implore you to ask what you value more.

Everyone here can give you their opinions but it boils down to what you did. Since you already made your decision (which I think was probably to stay with the girl, right?) you're obviously looking for affirmation.

Just because you don't go to your dream school does not mean you have sacrificed your career and now it's all pointless. You can still get the residency you want and practice the medicine you want to practice. What you have now is the security of the love you had which may have been jeopardized had you gone to the "dream school."
Everything is a trade-off and you haven't really lost much on this one.

To be sure, ask yourself do you value what you have with this girl more than a name?
Click to expand...


Nice point but I chose the school
 
I know you already chose but..

screw dream schools man. Half the time that people say "dream" schools, the person doesn't even know why they want to go to that school so badly. Think about it this way: If you lose that girl, you could regret it the rest of your life. If you choose a different school than your "dream" school, you'll be so damn busy the rest of your life, you could give two craps what name your diploma says. If I was your mother, I'd slap you.
 
takara said:
Nice point but I chose the school
Click to expand...

You chose the school for various reasons.

What your life and your relationship is, we don't know. So we really can't help you decide.

My opinion is choose the school that you will be happy with. Not the girl friend. Especially if you are only 22. Also I would say.. no matter your age you can still get married. What is the legal age in your state.. over 16 with parents aproval. Maybe she will consider transfering to your school?? Or maybe you can do rottations in the same place.

MOST IMPORTANTLY 80miles is NOTTTT far at ALLL.

Weekend lovers... will keep things fun.

l
 
liveandlearn said:
ok.. i HAVE to say something on this one.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!!!!????!!!!????

how are you EVER going to be a halfway decent physician if you cant even have compassion for the one you have been with for 7 years!?

if you choose your dream school over your dream girl then you should be shot. as should all of these youngins who are either jealous that you're in love or too caught up in imagined prestige to realize what is REALLY important. not to mention, and MD is an MD and you will have a wonderful career no matter where you go to school. ask any REAL doctor.

sorry, but it was breaking my heart to see these replies.
Click to expand...


I agree LOL. If u loved her u would go to school together. It'll probably be much better just because she's there.

Peace.
 
Do NOT live your life with regrets. Choose the path with the least possibility of having any regrets.
 
takara said:
Nice point but I chose the school
Click to expand...

I believe you chose wisely. And as was mentioned b4, 80 miles is not that bad. This will be a good test for your relationship.
 
takara said:
80 miles
Click to expand...
dude....80miles. u can drive that in 1 hr. my bf and i are separated by 400 miles.....choose the school u want because that's what u want. if she's the one, then things will work out. if things don't work out, u'll forever kick urself for not going to ur dream school.
 
DrBuro said:
I know you already chose but..

screw dream schools man. Half the time that people say "dream" schools, the person doesn't even know why they want to go to that school so badly. Think about it this way: If you lose that girl, you could regret it the rest of your life. If you choose a different school than your "dream" school, you'll be so damn busy the rest of your life, you could give two craps what name your diploma says. If I was your mother, I'd slap you.
Click to expand...

If the girl left him after 7 years because he didn't choose the same medical school as she did, she probably never loved him in the first place.
 
I have never been in your particular situation, so I can't say what I would do or what I think is "right." But regardless of the opinions of everyone else on here, I hear you saying through your initial post and your replies that your heart and your girlfriend's heart are telling you to go to the dream school. Am I right about that? If so, then it seems like the right choice.

good luck and have fun!!!
 
I got married at 20. I was on scholarships and fin aid, she was on fin aid and getting help from her parents. It's no more expensive for two to live together than it is for two to live separately. Cost of the wedding is the only obstacle and you can regulate that.

If you really have a big difference in how much you like the schools, then 80 miles isn't that much.
 
takara said:
Nice point but I chose the school
Click to expand...

I am not the most objective person in the world here, but I am picking up and moving 600 miles away from my cutie for school. I talked about changing my mind and he said, "You wouldn't be the girl I fell in love with if you changed your mind for me. You can do it for yourself, but you can't just do it for me." I appreciated the freedom he gave me in pursuing my dream (even though I'm def. not going to my dream school). Just my $0.02.
 
For many reasons, I would have chosen the girl. I agree w/ most of what people are saying- that it's not too far, that it will keep things interesting, that obtaining your dream is important...

But, I think being able to take the SAME classes and study for the SAME tests with her by your side would turn that school into your dream school, and the girl into an even better dream girl. If so much of medicine revolves around teamwork, there can be no better team than a couple sharing the same passion and experiences together.

I predict that either your love for your dream school will fade, because the time you spend there (weekdays) prevents you being with her, or the relationship w/ the girl will fade. I hope both survive for you, but I'm sorry to say I doubt they will.
 
I'll probably be facing the exact same decision in a few months and it's school no questions asked. She knows it too. :meanie:
 
takara said:
80 miles
Click to expand...


this should have answerd your question, u can drive 80 miles, its not that far.
Go with the dream school, makes sense.
 
80 miles is not that far, but it is when you are studying 24 hours a day. I can promise you that moving that far for med school is as good as breaking up with her. To those people that think those stupid phrases "if its meant to be, you guys will stay together" obviously are fooled by cliche phrases. As many of us are scientists, we should know that there is no way to prove this and may not necessarily be true.
 
I would ask myself how I would feel if she was in your position. That would play a role in my decision.
 
I've actually given your situation some thought because I've recently just broken up with my gf , partly because i'm going away, 2000 miles+ away, for school. CA to PA!

Why is the school your dream school? What does a "dream school" comprised of? Its rank or prestige?

Since you and your gf (im assuming someone you truely love) both got into a TIER 1 school, it's good enough as is! You will make as good of a doc as any other. Hence, I would go for the same school as your gf because it will definitely make the relationship better. And 80miles will definitely be a long distance, on top of going through med school's work load, seeing each other over the weekeend might not even be an option for some time. Maybe go over to study together? Honestly speaking, you going over won't be all studying. It'll be because you want to spend valuable time (non-work related)with her, i mean you've already studied all week! Truthly speaking, you'd want to go over to get "some". So studying will partly be an excuse. What i'm saying is that by going to the same school, you both can study together on the weekdays and go out on the weekeneds if it allows. Most important is that you AND your gf's schedule will be synchronized.

Speakin from experience, having gone through sort of a long d relationship of 80miles roundtrip myself, it would definitely jeopardize the relationship. Possibly even academics if an argument occurs because nothing's worst than leaving an argument hanging because solving the problem over the phone just doesnt cut it. I dont know about you, but alot of times i had to go talk face to face to mediate the problems.

Now, all of my BS would only apply if you truely want to spend time with this ONE girl, if you know what i mean..... 😱
 
well, keep in mind that if you did decide to go to the same school as her, you might get distracted from your studies from all the love-play and the such. in this case, your performance will suffer and that surely will not be good for you. on the other extreme of the spectrum, suppose you do very well - then perhaps the two of you may wind up competing with each other. this could be dangerous as well, and one of you will ultimately feel inadequate and that is surely unfavorable.

it is my opinion that the decision to enter different schools is the best decision. not because the other school happens to be ranked higher or is of a higher tier; that is merely coincidence. attending different schools is simply better because a relationship needs a minimal amount of distance in the personal and intellectual interests of each partner. of course it is important to have common interests and to enjoy the same activities; however, if both of you pursue the same interests with the same fervor and ambition, then this will ultimately become problematic. just look at sylvia plath and whatever her husband's name was - he was the better poet, they both were passionate poets, she felt inadequate and whatnot, long story short: she ultimately commits suicide.

both of you will be pretty busy, probably. if you're willing to give it a try, I bet the relationship will survive despite the distance simply because you'll both be studying too hard to notice. then on the breaks and maybe a few weekends you'll get together and cuddle 😍

it's good you're both going through the same things, so you can relate to each other and also you will both understand the sort of sacrifice you make when you enter medicine. that way she can't say "you never make time for me" and you won't feel that way either.

anyway, best of luck to the both of you! 😀
 
First off, I wanted to say that you should take our advice lightly because only you know the complete situation you are facing.

I am currently coordinating with my fiance about where to apply so we can be together (he wants to get a PhD in political science). Do I feel horrible that he has told me that if he doesnt get into the UC near where I attend medical school he will get a master's at a CSU and then transfer to get his PhD later? Yes, I do feel bad. But his rebuttle to that is that he would be so much happier if we were able to live together- that he would do better because the school itself is not everything. If he got into his "dream school" and I got into that school's med school, I would go there hands down. Even if something were to happen and we ended up not staying together I would never regret that decision.

I worked at a residency training program and the person with the highest USMLE was not from Hopkins, Washington U, etc, it was from the University of Puerto Rico...medical school is not simply about prestige it is what you put into it. But I don't know why your dream school is your dream school. It would probably be easy to do externships there in your clinical years though.

We have had a long distance relationship for 2 of the 6 years we have been together, and we have stayed together and everything - but it sucked, and I would never want to do it again. To me not being able to live together (not being able to see eachother on a somewhat daily basis) would make my life unhappy and I know that my work in medical school would suffer because of it. 80 miles means that you will not see each other daily. 80 miles means that you have scheduled phone calls and times where you have designated that you can (have time) to see/talk to one another. Medical school itself is overwhelming and that would put another big stress on you. If you could make it so you lived sort of in the middle and both had a shorter commute, that could work for me (but I am where a 40 minute commute is good).

But, again, do whatever you want.

p.s. Just in case you are not familiar with the Cali system. The CSU are (San Francisco State, Long Beach State, etc) are less prestigeous than the UCs (UC berkeley, UCLA, etc).
 
thanks for all of the notes-
it was a tough decision but in the end we decided that it would be best for us to be apart but close- and for me to not have to comprimise my schooling for her- and she said she would do the same should the situation be reversed
we are planning on continuing the relationship and getting engaged in the near future so i think that everything will work out
it's amazing to see how many people have such strong opinions about this without even knowing us and we hope this thread will help others in similiar situations
 
takara said:
thanks for all of the notes-
it was a tough decision but in the end we decided that it would be best for us to be apart but close- and for me to not have to comprimise my schooling for her- and she said she would do the same should the situation be reversed
we are planning on continuing the relationship and getting engaged in the near future so i think that everything will work out
it's amazing to see how many people have such strong opinions about this without even knowing us and we hope this thread will help others in similiar situations
Click to expand...

Remember you can't tell what is a strong opinion and what isn't via internet.
 
What med school is your girl going too and which one is your dream school?
 
bbas said:
I would go with the dream school, especially if the two schools are close enough that you can visit her often.
Click to expand...

ditto
 
i know this one guy who had to choose between ucsf med school and another cali school.. he chose the other one to be with his girl. kinda sad cuz she chose the better undergrad instead of choosing his undergrad
 
From my own bad personal experiences with situations such as this, i will never again make another decision based on a woman. I'm glad to hear u went with the school that you want to go to.
 
Pythagoras said:
From my own bad personal experiences with situations such as this, i will never again make another decision based on a woman. I'm glad to hear u went with the school that you want to go to.
Click to expand...


haha thanks-
don't get me wrong i'm still completely in love with her and planning to keep her around as long as possible but i had to make my priority myself as long as there is no lifelong commitment between us
 
80 miles isn't that far. Anyone who would use your affection as leverage in a power play isn't worth having.
 
jbrice1639 said:
speaking as someone who is married, you need to go to the school where you will do the best. it may be harder for you two now, but being successful in med school is going to play a major role in your future life together, so go to the school where you will do the best, be the best doctor you can be, and live a successful happy life together when it's all said and done.
Click to expand...


And then what?
 
I don't get this 'dream school' talk. Most of what goes on in medical school is pretty much the same from one location to the next (you mentioned that the schools are in the same 'tier')... unless there's a research project that you just have to work on, a potential mentor that you're just dying to get to know... or an emblem that you just must have emblazoned on your sweatshirt or license-plate frame.

On second thought, if I think back to my childhood when I just had to have certain toys or I felt my life would certainly be ruined, then maybe I sort of understand this 'dream school' business.

Anyway, only the person involved has a real sense of the situation. Still, I wonder if you would have received very different opinions from an older crowd.
 
YFR said:
I don't get this 'dream school' talk. Most of what goes on in medical school is pretty much the same from one location to the next (you mentioned that the schools are in the same 'tier')... unless there's a research project that you just have to work on, a potential mentor that you're just dying to get to know... or an emblem that you just must have emblazoned on your sweatshirt or license-plate frame.

On second thought, if I think back to my childhood when I just had to have certain toys or I felt my life would certainly be ruined, then maybe I sort of understand this 'dream school' business.

Anyway, only the person involved has a real sense of the situation. Still, I wonder if you would have received very different opinions from an older crowd.
Click to expand...


i think some people misunderstood my initial post- we both got into a tier one school which we both turned down, me for the school on the top of my list and her for the school which cost the least and was closest to me but not quite as good as the one we both turned down
does that change people's opinions now?
 
takara said:
ok so i've already made my decision but i'm interested to hear what others would do
would you go to a med school with a girlfriend that you have dated for 7 years to a good tier one school that is not your dream school - or - go to the school that you have dreamed of and be fairly close to her as she goes to a med school she is not so happy with?
Click to expand...
dream school.

that's what i dreamt last night.
 
virilep said:
dream school.

that's what i dreamt last night.
Click to expand...


dream advice- always very sound :laugh:
 
takara said:
i think some people misunderstood my initial post- we both got into a tier one school which we both turned down, me for the school on the top of my list and her for the school which cost the least and was closest to me but not quite as good as the one we both turned down
does that change people's opinions now?
Click to expand...
well you both did what was best for you. Just note you might not get to see her as much as you'd like. That 1.5 hr commute will wreak havoc in your study time. I think its doable and if its the best for you, then good deal. I just wonder if she'll be happy at her school. I probably would have gone to school together if that was me, but then again the reasons I would do that is from a little bit more experience in dating, etc. as I'm a little older than the avg premed. :luck:
 
This is one of those situations where everyone else's opinion is useless. The only thing to do is for you to sit down and do a lot of soul searching. How much does the big-name school mean to you? Is it something you've dreamt of for years? Is it something you've been striving toward? Is going to this school so important that you feel your identity would suffer if you did not attend? Would you regret it terribly if you did not attend?

Then, there's the relationship issue. How much does the relationship mean to you? Has it been convenient to be together in the past (ie, same schools, same city, etc)? Have you each made sacrifices for each other in the past? Have you overcome major obstacles (including distance and time issues) in the past? Is this a committed, exclusive relationship? Have you cheated? Has she cheated? Can you honestly see yourself marrying this girl in the future?

When you've answered these questions, the solution should seem clearer. I, too, applied to school with my significant other (I to med, he to law). We are attending the same school this fall. We have made sacrifices for each other, but in the end, neither of us could be any happier with the choices we have made. I'm not saying that everyone should choose the relationship over the school, or the school over the relationship. Just be sure that you are similarly happy with the choices you make.
 
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