Residents being "over friendly" in call room

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Giggles77

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Not sure who else to ask about this, as the other residents in my program who know aren't sure what to do either...

We have two residents in our program who have watched way too much Grey's Anatomy and have been using our call rooms to be intimate with each other. Why the call rooms? One of them is married and must have too much "integrity" to use his own place...

Regardless, no one is quite sure what to do to get this to stop. We are tired of having to change all the bedding at 3 a.m. while on call because we aren't sure what may have happened in the bed previously. It is pretty disgusting.

Has anyone else had to deal with this? Should we talk to the program director? And if that doesn't help, who next? The hospital administrator? The ACGME? This needs to stop...
 
Giggles77 said:
Not sure who else to ask about this, as the other residents in my program who know aren't sure what to do either...

We have two residents in our program who have watched way too much Grey's Anatomy and have been using our call rooms to be intimate with each other. Why the call rooms? One of them is married and must have too much "integrity" to use his own place...

Regardless, no one is quite sure what to do to get this to stop. We are tired of having to change all the bedding at 3 a.m. while on call because we aren't sure what may have happened in the bed previously. It is pretty disgusting.

Has anyone else had to deal with this? Should we talk to the program director? And if that doesn't help, who next? The hospital administrator? The ACGME? This needs to stop...
Click to expand...

Hate to say this.... despite it being morally and ethically wrong... it's none of your business (or the other residents) because stiring s**t where you work will only harm you..... Unless it's absolutely a problem for you guys to get new bedding, I would let it go... A relationship based on situational horniness is doomed to die once the sex dies.
 
Perhaps you should get some pepper spray and spray the sheets down when they one of them is on call... Might not stop them, but it might make them think twice... 😀
 
Why don't you just tell him/her it's not cool to have recurrent sex in the call room? It doesn't matter who it's with. No need to bring up the infidelity part.

...and set up a webcam.
 
definitely need to talk to the individuals before the program director. think of what you'd want done.
 
nasty


Id bring a blacklight to work and check the bed b4 i lay on it 😛


Course, you could say that of a hotel too and never stay at one again!
 
That's really gross and low class. I know in our program, there aren't always extra sheets right next to the call rooms, and we have to go to the wards to get them. And when you get only an hour or so of sleep at a time, taking 20 minutes to get new sheets and changed the beds (especially at 3 a.m.) is not high on your list of things to do.

I'd tell the program director, anonymously if you have to. Let the scumbag explain to his colleagues why he is cheating on his wife. And let the other resident have to explain why she has no morals and is sleeping with a married guy. If they wanted to be discreet, they could easily rent a hotel room or go park in an abandoned parking garage. To pull this crap in the call rooms is nasty (and isn't your program based in a religous hospital? Don't Loma Linda residents have to go to Church on Sundays? Or is that just the medical students?)

Regardless, that is really pathetic on both their parts. People here who are saying to ignore it have obviously never had to sleep in these call rooms. They are small and dirty enough without two people having sex in them.

EJ

Giggles77 said:
Not sure who else to ask about this, as the other residents in my program who know aren't sure what to do either...

We have two residents in our program who have watched way too much Grey's Anatomy and have been using our call rooms to be intimate with each other. Why the call rooms? One of them is married and must have too much "integrity" to use his own place...

Regardless, no one is quite sure what to do to get this to stop. We are tired of having to change all the bedding at 3 a.m. while on call because we aren't sure what may have happened in the bed previously. It is pretty disgusting.

Has anyone else had to deal with this? Should we talk to the program director? And if that doesn't help, who next? The hospital administrator? The ACGME? This needs to stop...
Click to expand...
 
Talked to some of the pain guys here at my program today during lunch, and all 4 agreed what is going on is inappropriate. Their response? If you like the residents in question, maybe mention it to them (which may be hard, as they will probably tell you to stay out of their business) or the chief. If the guy in question (the one cheating on his wife) is a jerk, drop a note to the director. But there is NO reason to put up with this. Those call rooms are often sketchy enough without having to blacklight the room each call...

EJ
 
i would not get involved. how is reporting this going to help anyone? so as long as its not interfering with everyones ability to manage patients, and no one really knows about it, than just let it be. get over it. way worse things are happening in hospitals than to worry about something like this.
 
In general, I think it's better to discuss issues directly with the offender in a nonthreatening manner rather than going over their heads. It sounds like these people are being stupid and inconsiderate rather than being truly malicious, and they may simply need that pointed out to them. If this were happening at my program and if it were impacting me enough that I felt I had to do something about it, I'd probably talk to one/both of them or talk to the chief residents and have them deal with it. I agree with Faebinder that it is their business, but their right to do their business without encroachment stopped when it started affecting others. Good luck.
 
nutmegs said:
definitely need to talk to the individuals before the program director. think of what you'd want done.
Click to expand...

At my previous program, there were two residents who had extracurricular activities at work. Both times they were stopped when the other spouse found out. What was especially hard was when the spouse found out that other residents knew, whom they considered friends, but did not not tell them. To echo the comment "what would you want done," consider the spouse's POV. However, you'd better be pretty f'ing sure before you deliver that kind of news. I personally wouldn't feel bad for letting the spouse of the cheater know, but that's me.
 
Condom wrapper found in the call room...

Guy bragging to his Ob-Gyn friends that he is "nailing" the hot new Asian intern....

Girl getting left by her fiance. Her friends say it is cause he caught another man in their apartment...


Wife of one of the guy Chris calling the residents asking why he is recieving a lot of private pages from the girl.... (And the wife is so nice. She has brought their little kids out a lot to the barbecues. The people who she called all deferred to others. No one has the heart to tell her that her husband is scum.)

So yeah, pretty sure overall. Not good friends with either of them and haven't confronted either, but a lot of suspect evidence. All I know is that we sign a contract here saying we will adhere to the rules of the Church that runs our hospital...pretty sure those rules might include no sex in the bed that other people have to crawl into at 4 a.m.

Sounds like people are pretty split on this board, just like in our program. I turned to the board because I figured that others may have had to deal with this rather uncomfortable situation before. Not really my busines, but it is affecting resident morale and I do have to sleep in those beds. So stressed out about all of this....I'll probably drop an anonymous note to the Chief Resident. That is what you get for being ambitious and running for Chief. Like they are going to know how to handle it....Oy vei.

BTW. On Call tonight, already grabbed an extra sheet and put it in my bag. Thanks for all the advice.



FuzzyBK said:
At my previous program, there were two residents who had extracurricular activities at work. Both times they were stopped when the other spouse found out. What was especially hard was when the spouse found out that other residents knew, whom they considered friends, but did not not tell them. To echo the comment "what would you want done," consider the spouse's POV. However, you'd better be pretty f'ing sure before you deliver that kind of news. I personally wouldn't feel bad for letting the spouse of the cheater know, but that's me.
Click to expand...
 
Hey

Why not write an anon. letter to the 2 offenders with everything you just wrote in here? That will clear it up in a hurry i bet.
 
Or, you guys could designate a sleeping bed and a fooling around bed. Of course they would not be allowed in the sleeping beds
 
LostTommyGuns said:
Perhaps you should get some pepper spray and spray the sheets down when they one of them is on call... Might not stop them, but it might make them think twice... 😀
Click to expand...

....or rub down the sheets with poison ivy....
 
Based on his behavior (bragging to people at work, the wife seeing "private" pages, leaving condom wrappers behind), it seems to me that the guy totally wants everyone (probably including his wife) to know and enjoys making a spectacle about what a mack daddy he is for shagging another resident. I'd bet you cash-money he would be totally thrilled, not mortified, if they were caught in the act (take a moment to hurl if you need to). It's pointless to try to stay out of their affair at this point because you already are in it through their actions.

That just sucks so much for his wife and kids; sounds like it's just a matter of time before she finds out. Moreover, it sounds like a lot of other people, including other residents like you, have a good chance of being drawn into the whack daddy's personal drama when the code brown hits the fan, whether you want to or not. Like residency isn't difficult enough already.

Regardless, I absolutely don't think you and the other residents should put up with their nasty, low-class asses anymore. I hope the Chief pulls the jerk-off (pardon the pun) aside and fixes this. But if not, I really hope you say something to him directly about keeping the entire call room a Shag-Free Zone. There's no point beating around the bush (again, pardon the pun!); it'll just prolong your suffering and encourage him; he'll be leaving empty tubes of K-Y Jelly next. It's crap for them to act like its no one else's business when they're doing everything they can to make it everyone else's business. And if they don't agree, absolutely tell someone up the chain of command. Whatever negative consequences befall them are totally their own fault.

Good luck and think hygienic thoughts.
 
doesn't sound like they are making an attempt to be discrete at all. ignorant on their part. i agree with previous poster in that maybe they want to be caught.
 
I think everyone from the PD to the hospital admin would be interested in what is going on in this call room. You've said you don't really know either of these people very well. Mention something to your program, that you suspect someone is routinely having sex in the call room. You think this is poor behavior, considering everyone shares the rooms. You shouldn't have to clean up someone else's ummm...welll...

Hopefully, notification is sent to all residents that the call room is not for shagging. If this behavior continues, as it sounds like it will, these two will not be surprised when their business becomes every resident's business, b/c everyone will be talking about the sex. If they still don't mind being the talk of the town, then further action should be taken.

What about the housestaff council? They may not have teeth, but again, since this is primarily an issue that bothers the residents, it may be a good place to start, get a consensus that this behavior is inappropriate.
 
I think it's best to talk directly to the offenders. you don't have to make it a grand scale issue by involving the PD. But clearly, you should not just leave it alone. I disagree with one of the above posts about how patient care is not compromised from a situation like this. If I had to always worry about some cum stained nasty as$ sheets, I wouldn't be able to sleep and my head would not be as clear as it could be. i would not be doing my best for my paients.
 
I REALLY want to hear the update on this one, its better than American Idol! Bwhahah

I think we should name it "As the call room is turns"
 
CremeSickle said:
I REALLY want to hear the update on this one, its better than American Idol! Bwhahah

I think we should name it "As the call room is turns"
Click to expand...

Isn't is a somewhat "public" place? Just bust in, turn on the TV, and sit down with some cheetos. Maybe return a page or something.
 
I still have to send in my thank yous to Loma Linda, maybe I can just throw the info on there if the OP doesn't want to tattle.

"Dear PD, your program is like, cool and stuff. BTW, I read on an internet message board that your residents are boinking in the call rooms. How scandalous is that?! Adultery at a religious hospital, the irony of it all. Anyway, yeah, your program is totally righteous! But not righteous in the moral sense of course, but moreso in the way cool sense. Thanks again!

Sincerely,
HB"
 
It is your business when the activity is going on in your bed! Which is what the call room bed is...

I'd take one of two actions

1. directly ask the offending parties to take their nookie elsewhere. No need to comment on morality or anything else (unless you want to)

2. tell the PD that there is strong evidince (without naming names) that someone is having sex in the call room. That way it can be discussed with all residents.

No resident should have to put up with this. But by your collective silence, you are sending the message that you are willing to.
 
Planktonmd said:
I would simply tell them that they need to change the sheets! otherwise who cares?
Click to expand...

Given that the two offenders, with their on-the-down-low-except-not-really relationship, are showing themselves to be about as trustworthy as a crack ***** swearing she's STD-free, I wouldn't hardly take their promised word for it that they'll be good neighbors and change the sheets after shagging. Every time I went to the call room to hopefully catch a hour of sleep, I'd rather not have to worry whether the slight rumpling of the sheets contains dried semen.

As for who cares beyond hygiene, I would (and clearly this thread indicates I wouldn't be alone). I think what they're doing is morally bankrupt and would have no qualms about saying so directly. But beyond that, it's just the most basic degree of respect for your fellow residents that you not do that on beds you all share. A call room's not like a Burger King bathroom where pretty much anyone and anything goes. However sketchy/tiny they are, they're for the residents/fellows to use and share. I'd be pissed if I saw a nurse or respiratory tech just napping in the call room. I would expect other residents and me to show each other some basic respect about the use of our common space. And certainly I feel that includes not using our mutual bed to share secretions from "secret" affairs (or masturbation, for that matter). If that makes me a prude, then I'm a prude.

Giggles, I agree with Creme(hee hee!)Sickle that you simply must keep us up-to-date with this! :laugh:
 
FuzzyBK said:
At my previous program, there were two residents who had extracurricular activities at work. Both times they were stopped when the other spouse found out. What was especially hard was when the spouse found out that other residents knew, whom they considered friends, but did not not tell them. To echo the comment "what would you want done," consider the spouse's POV. However, you'd better be pretty f'ing sure before you deliver that kind of news. I personally wouldn't feel bad for letting the spouse of the cheater know, but that's me.
Click to expand...
getting involved with someone's personal business by telling a spouse is none of your business, frankly. you can think it's right, wrong, or indifferent, but the question here is one of professionalism, and the first step in handling a work-related incident is addressing the offending parties directly. you're trying to stop them from having sex in the call room (which is your business), not stop them from sleeping together (NONE of your business).
 
Flycatcher said:
As for who cares beyond hygiene, I would (and clearly this thread indicates I wouldn't be alone). I think what they're doing is morally bankrupt and would have no qualms about saying so directly. But beyond that, it's just the most basic degree of respect for your fellow residents that you not do that on beds you all share. A call room's not like a Burger King bathroom where pretty much anyone and anything goes. However sketchy/tiny they are, they're for the residents/fellows to use and share. I'd be pissed if I saw a nurse or respiratory tech just napping in the call room. I would expect other residents and me to show each other some basic respect about the use of our common space. And certainly I feel that includes not using our mutual bed to share secretions from "secret" affairs (or masturbation, for that matter). If that makes me a prude, then I'm a prude.
:laugh:
Click to expand...

I couldn't agree more with this. Even though I may be a little more liberal on the extracurricular activities of residents (one reason I chose not to attend a religious school like LLU or Univervisity of Utah. I have been known to like to get my drink on), I still think this is wrong on so many level before these are the CALL ROOMS! It is disgusting to have to wander in there at 4 a.m. and worry about what fluid you might be getting in your hair. To do this in the call rooms, despite what people read in House of God, is wrong, wrong wrong. I still say to drop the PD a note. Or just give the PD or cheif a link to these posts and say "hey, do you think this is about us?" That might put a stop to it pretty quick. But approaching them directly is probably not the brightest idea, since you will have to work with these people for at least another 6 months, depending on where you are in your training. They have already shown they aren't the most trustiworthy (cheating on wife, cheating with a married man) and their word isn't worth a thing.

Just my two cents,

EJ
 
Planktonmd said:
I would simply tell them that they need to change the sheets! otherwise who cares?
Click to expand...


Arggghhh!!! This is exactly the same problem I get from everyone I turn to. 2/3 of the people say to mention something to someone, and the other 1/3 say it is no big deal and to leave it alone. Which is why I am being driven crazy over the whole thing. :scared: Not to mention that I know his wife and don't know what to say to her when I run into her at the market (and this being a small town, I see her more than I would want to).

I mean, just because others don't share my morals is fine, and I know it isn't up to me to judge them. If this was happening outside of the call rooms, I would probably be fine with letting things be. But for it to occur in the bed I sleep in is so wrong, and not saying anything makes me feel like I am condoning it in some way....🙁 🙁 🙁 .

I am so torn on this that I can't even eat. I used to love work (well, maybe not LOVE, but I enjoyed it much more than intern year and rectal exams). This sucks so much...

I'll think on it more. Probably will just drop and anonymous note...to who? I dunno. And what if someone sees me leaving the note and then thinks I am a prude or judgmental?

Thanks for all the advice so far, even though I am just as lost as in the beginning...
 
Step number one: chill out. If you've slept in a hotel before, then this should not be a huge deal. But it is kind of gross.

Step number two: Put up a sign in the call room that says "hey a$$holes, go screw somewhere else, other people have to sleep here."
 
EJ

Dude, this is absolutely the wrong approach. First of all you must be one slow moving individual if it takes you 20 minutes to change one of those twin call beds. Second of all, reporting them to the PD would be a VERY uncool move. If you ever did something like that to me, we'de have issues real quick. Even worse, would be to report them anonomously. Don't be a *****. I feel kinda stongly about this stuff because I believe that residents should get each other's back no matter what. I would do anything for any resident in my program, even if I didn't like them. You're suggestions are very uncool and make you look like a very judgemental person, which is not a good trait to have as a physician. If you disapprove, you disapprove...so what. Be a man and confront these individuals privately. State your concerns and move on. Don't be a puss and run and tell big brother.
 
Here ya go again...still recommending to be a puss (cuz you might have to see them again). Do you want other residents sneaking around and leaving anonymous letters about you to your program director? Very uncool. I'm sorry if I seem like I'm attacking you here, but although I entirely disagree with a lot that goes on behind closed doors, I have no intention of disgracing anyone behind their back. I'll give you two recent examples that happened at my program.

1. One of the chief neurosurgeons was caught looking at porn by the librarian on a library computer. Who knows if he opened up a lewd email or was just visiting voyeurweb on his own. Nonetheless, the librarian said nothing to him and reported him to the CMO. This was humiliating for him. Poor way to handle this.

2. I got paged to the OB unit on New Years Day to put an IV in one of the L and D nurses who got smashed the night before and still came to work. She was literally still drunk. There were no OB patients in house at the time (thank goodness) but this was still very unprofessional. I could have reported her, but instead, I just told her it was inapproapriate and told her not to let something like this ever happen again. No need to get her fired though.
 
I like the idea of an anonymous note to the two offenders stating something to the effect of "we all know what's going on between the two of you...... doing this in the call rooms is completely inappropriate..... cut it out before the next people notified are a) your spouse and/or b) our program director." Let them choose: each other, their family and homelife, or their residency and career. Just let them know that if it doesn't stop with them, it will go beyond them.
 
Is the wife hot? maybe you can give the guy a taste of his own medicine
 
dhb said:
Is the wife hot? maybe you can give the guy a taste of his own medicine
Click to expand...

That happened to a classmate of mine in school. She was studying with this other guy at all hours while her husband was at home. Next thing you know, her study partner is banging her like a screen door in a hurricaine. Turns out the husband was knocking the back outta some other girl also, but neither knew the other was cheating.....at first. Needless to say they divorced that same year.
 
As a married woman, I find the guys actions pathetic. Further pathetic is the guy on here (steel city) defending him and calling other people a puss. I get the feeling he is one these guys who calls people names on message boards because he is too afraid to do that in real life. Although I am sure he thinks I am puss for saying so.

I agree with a lot of the other posters. Anonymous note to Cheif or PD. Let the loser explain why he thinks a public call room is the place to have an affair. It is jerks like this who give medicine a bad name. This is why people are so quick to sue us for millions....

I fully think that our code of ethics needs to expand more. Having sex with a patient can cost you your license (rightfully so). A senior resident sleeping with an intern should also cost a license. It is a position of power that is being abused. Pure and simple.
 
The only two options you should consider are 1.) Keeping your piehole shut and being miserable 2.) Telling the offending party directly to their face and feeling a whole lot better.

I would not under any circumstances tell the PD, anonymously or otherwise.
 
JadaKiss said:
As a married woman, I find the guys actions pathetic. Further pathetic is the guy on here (steel city) defending him and calling other people a puss. I get the feeling he is one these guys who calls people names on message boards because he is too afraid to do that in real life. Although I am sure he thinks I am puss for saying so.

I agree with a lot of the other posters. Anonymous note to Cheif or PD. Let the loser explain why he thinks a public call room is the place to have an affair. It is jerks like this who give medicine a bad name. This is why people are so quick to sue us for millions....

I fully think that our code of ethics needs to expand more. Having sex with a patient can cost you your license (rightfully so). A senior resident sleeping with an intern should also cost a license. It is a position of power that is being abused. Pure and simple.
Click to expand...
you've got to be kidding me. this doesn't even warrant an intelligent response, just had to give you an idea of how out of touch with reality you are.


(and what kind of extra moral authority does being married give you?)
 
BTW...you're a puss.
 
2. I got paged to the OB unit on New Years Day to put an IV in one of the L and D nurses who got smashed the night before and still came to work. She was literally still drunk. There were no OB patients in house at the time (thank goodness) but this was still very unprofessional. I could have reported her, but instead, I just told her it was inapproapriate and told her not to let something like this ever happen again. No need to get her fired though.[/QUOTE]


Steel,
I admire your loyalty to your co-workers but this scenario above bothers me as judging from your post you may not have thought this thru all the way. I think the fact that there were no patient in OB was fortuitous but what happens if a patient in fetal distress comes in- you now have a serious matter with an impaired provider- an impaired provider you recognized, treated and chose not to address- your verbal reprimand would not be a sufficient remedy in this case. I would think that you would be putting yourself at risk for covering for her.

I agree that there may not be a need to get her fired, but formally reprimanded-- yes. If her behavior persists there needs to be an official paper trail in order to take action against her. This is in hers and her patient's best interests. She may be battling some bigger demons than you saw on New Year's Day- and its not fair for her to be taking care of patients in an impaired state. The fact she came to work __itfaced leads one to think her judgement was way off.

I assume that firing her is not your decision to make and that all too often the answer to a problem in most hospitals is "fire a nurse" but this is a serious case of breach of professional conduct. Sometimes getting fired for f__king up is the best thing that can happen to someone.


JMHO
 
fval28 said:
2. I got paged to the OB unit on New Years Day to put an IV in one of the L and D nurses who got smashed the night before and still came to work. She was literally still drunk. There were no OB patients in house at the time (thank goodness) but this was still very unprofessional. I could have reported her, but instead, I just told her it was inapproapriate and told her not to let something like this ever happen again. No need to get her fired though.
Click to expand...


Steel,
I admire your loyalty to your co-workers but this scenario above bothers me as judging from your post you may not have thought this thru all the way. I think the fact that there were no patient in OB was fortuitous but what happens if a patient in fetal distress comes in- you now have a serious matter with an impaired provider- an impaired provider you recognized, treated and chose not to address- your verbal reprimand would not be a sufficient remedy in this case. I would think that you would be putting yourself at risk for covering for her.

I agree that there may not be a need to get her fired, but formally reprimanded-- yes. If her behavior persists there needs to be an official paper trail in order to take action against her. This is in hers and her patient's best interests. She may be battling some bigger demons than you saw on New Year's Day- and its not fair for her to be taking care of patients in an impaired state. The fact she came to work __itfaced leads one to think her judgement was way off.

I assume that firing her is not your decision to make and that all too often the answer to a problem in most hospitals is "fire a nurse" but this is a serious case of breach of professional conduct. Sometimes getting fired for f__king up is the best thing that can happen to someone.


JMHO
Click to expand...

I do agree with this- overlooking an impaired provider and confronting someone directly about their choice of affair location rather than going to the PD are not the same kind of "getting someone's back".
 
Why not just post it on the internet for all to read so that everyone across the country finds out? I have a hunch that informing people will no longer be an issue since you have posted it here. I think that a confrontation with the individual would have been a much more professional approach than the world wide web.
 
I would like to be so lucky!
 
Real easy way to get them to never screw in the call room. Set up a webcam, then send the clips to all the residents. Once it gets out they'll never do it again. Putting up a sign is also the right thing to do.
 
me454555 said:
Real easy way to get them to never screw in the call room. Set up a webcam, then send the clips to all the residents. Once it gets out they'll never do it again. Putting up a sign is also the right thing to do.
Click to expand...

....and don't forget to post it here also...😀
 
now that would be classic and you, my friend, would go down in resident history 😛
 
I am married too, and this is appalling, especially since this guy and his wife have kids.

However, what he feels about his marriage is his business and the fact that he is having an affair with some intern is not something that you should bring to any 'authority' figures like program directors, chairmans etc.

If it were my program, I would have just talked to the chief resident - that was her job to handle resident relationship issues. Like we went to her to complain about a resident that was always like 15 to 30 minutes late for a call shift, or this guy that always left his stinky bike and shoes in the sleep room and this one guy that always microwaved spaghetti and stuff and then left a huge mess. This is along those lines. (while it is much more serious morally than being a slob, it isn't the issue)

Also think about it along these lines - what if it was two people that were happily married to each other that were having sex in the call room - what would you do then? You should do the same thing.

When I was an intern, I found under the mattress a wrinkly, well used Playboy and Penthouse. So, it doesn't take two to mess up some call room sheets. So just function under the assumption that all sheets are covered in bodily fluids unless you lay new sheets down.

Lastly, this is juicy - tell us what ends up happening.
 
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