Do I have enough heart?

Veterinary Science Graduate Certificate from UofI
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PrimalMU

Mississippi c/o 2014
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So, as potential acceptance to vet school looms on the horizon, I find myself having second thoughts. Is this really the career for me? Do I have it in me to survive 4 more years of schooling, moreover 4 years of some of the most intense training there is? Obviously I enjoy the the field; I have well over 1000 hours experience and this is the first field I've enjoyed enough to actually stick with more than a few months.

However, I'm also worried in that I'm not at all nervous regarding acceptance, and this leads me to believe that maybe I don't want it enough.

Everyone I've talked to (professors, vets, etc) say I'll more than likely get in. My stats are pretty darn good, especially for UGA, my choice school. I got a 1300 on my GRE and something like a 740 on my Biology GRE, and my science GPA is 3.69 (3.91 in biology). Comparing my stats to WV UGA students makes me believe I have an excellent chance to get in.

Maybe all this is me being nervous about vet school, but the magnitude of the decision is, quite simply, terrifying. Maybe I'd be better off getting a MS degree, getting a chance to get some more research experience, and then reevaluating my situation? Or maybe after 6 years of undergrad, I'm simply not ready for another 4 years without some sort of break? Sometimes I even find myself hoping that I don't get accepted.

Does anyone else have these feelings? Any comments, suggestions, etc would be welcome.
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I too have second thoughts every once and a while, but its mostly because I am bat-**** scared of vet school. What if I fail out? What if I hate it? What if I realize that I suck at it and I will fail and cry and possibly fall into a black hole of despair? It would be so much easier to just be a trophy wife...

But then I stop. Breathe. And think about every other career I have ever thought of, and I realize that I have never felt passionate about any other field, and as for trophy wife/stay at home mom- SO BORING. so after my mild panic attacks I remember that I will survive and at the end I will be very happy and very poor.
 
Ya know, about every 2-3 days I go through this weird cycle where I'm enthusiastic about vet school then dip down into a sort of mild depression. I've gone through this a bit ever since I began down this road towards vet school. Its just really frustrating not being able to really feel comfortable about this decision.
 
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I think we all go through this. I just got my Ohio acceptance last week and was ecstatic, but then suddenly had a feeling of doom come over me (debt, 4+ years of school, moving away from my boyfriend). Luckily, the feeling passed.

I guess we'll never really know what vet school is like until we experience it, and more likely than not, it's probably just cold feet.
Just keep in mind that nothing is permanent. If you end up hating vet school, it will only help you figure out your ideal career.
 
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Yep, I can understand where you're coming from as well. I have wanted this my entire life - and now that I have "it" - It's a bit scary. I'm just worried about getting so deep into debt. But, I think you have to trust that if you get this far, something has been driving you. These applications and interviews are anything but easy, and by just going through the process you are making a big statement about what you really want ;) Good luck :luck:
 
If you've got any friends who are already in vet school nearby, ask if they can let you follow them around and sit in on a class or two. If someone is near Mizzou, I'd be glad to show people around and whatnot and show you what it's really like. It's not all smiles and sunshine, that's for sure. But to be quite honest, it's best (and more fair to other applicants) if you know it wasn't right before you put in your acceptance letter. Being left at the altar because of cold feet really sucks, but not sure if it's any worse than a messy divorce a year or two later.
 
PrimalMU said:
Sometimes I even find myself hoping that I don't get accepted.
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I never once felt this way. I certainly didn't think I had a chance in hell of getting accepted, and of course I was scared about moving and starting once I was accepted, but I never once hoped that I wouldn't be. Getting accepted to vet school was a dream come true, and I wanted it more than anything.

I think you really need to reevaluate things. Especially before taking someone else's spot only to drop out first quarter.
 
The feelings that you are experience while waiting to hear from your schools are very similar to those that I was feeling just a few months ago. After I submitted my last supplemental, I felt almost as if I hadn't even applied - I didn't check my e-mail obsessively, I didn't stress about whether my schools had gotten everything or when I'd hear from them, etc. At first I was afraid, like you, that these feelings meant that I didn't want it badly enough. Then I took a step back and realized that I felt that way about my applications because I had faith in them and in myself. This is not to say that I was overly confident and absolutely knew that I would be accepted, but rather that I was confident that I had submitted the best application that I was capable of. I was proud of how hard I had worked to get to the point of applying, and how hard I had worked on my applications themselves. Based on your stats it sounds as though you may be in the same boat - although nothing is a sure thing in terms of being accepted to vet school, it sounds as though you have a solid application that you should feel confident about!

As far as you sometimes hoping you don't get accepted... I can't say I ever felt that, but I think this may just be cold feet. I have 3 acceptances so far and I'm completely terrified - mostly of the debt, and of moving by myself and "starting over" in terms of social and support networks. I don't quite know what to expect of vet school, but having already gone through a mini career change, I'm sure this is what I want. I'm not at all expecting to love school, but I am expecting to love being a veterinarian. Two years ago I was miserable in a Masters program (in a totally different field), and while most of my classmates were miserable in the program as well, there was a significant difference between myself and them: they were sure that the misery of earning the degree would be worth it to have the degree in the end (in other words, the end would justify the means), but I knew beyond a doubt that I would not feel any different once I had finished school, earned the degree, and was out in the field practicing. This is what made me decide to leave the program to pursue vet school.

Since you do have a good deal of experience, do you feel the same apprehension about actually being a DVM, or is your uncertainty limited to vet school? Ultimately vet school is a means to an end, and if you're sure (or mostly sure) that that end (the DVM degree) is what you want, I wouldn't worry too much about being apprehensive about school. I think it's completely natural, and maybe even expected. Vet school will not be a cake walk by any means, but if you're accepted to a program chances are (barring any personal catastrophes along the way) you'll be capable of completing it if you want to (read: work hard enough to), no matter how painful the process may be. In the end it's only 4 years, and if being a veterinarian is really what you want, those 4 years will hopefully be a small price to pay no matter how arduous they end up being. :)
 
turnbackhelly said:
The feelings that you are experience while waiting to hear from your schools are very similar to those that I was feeling just a few months ago. After I submitted my last supplemental, I felt almost as if I hadn't even applied - I didn't check my e-mail obsessively, I didn't stress about whether my schools had gotten everything or when I'd hear from them, etc. At first I was afraid, like you, that these feelings meant that I didn't want it badly enough. Then I took a step back and realized that I felt that way about my applications because I had faith in them and in myself. This is not to say that I was overly confident and absolutely knew that I would be accepted, but rather that I was confident that I had submitted the best application that I was capable of. I was proud of how hard I had worked to get to the point of applying, and how hard I had worked on my applications themselves. Based on your stats it sounds as though you may be in the same boat - although nothing is a sure thing in terms of being accepted to vet school, it sounds as though you have a solid application that you should feel confident about!

As far as you sometimes hoping you don't get accepted... I can't say I ever felt that, but I think this may just be cold feet. I have 3 acceptances so far and I'm completely terrified - mostly of the debt, and of moving by myself and "starting over" in terms of social and support networks. I don't quite know what to expect of vet school, but having already gone through a mini career change, I'm sure this is what I want. I'm not at all expecting to love school, but I am expecting to love being a veterinarian. Two years ago I was miserable in a Masters program (in a totally different field), and while most of my classmates were miserable in the program as well, there was a significant difference between myself and them: they were sure that the misery of earning the degree would be worth it to have the degree in the end (in other words, the end would justify the means), but I knew beyond a doubt that I would not feel any different once I had finished school, earned the degree, and was out in the field practicing. This is what made me decide to leave the program to pursue vet school.

Since you do have a good deal of experience, do you feel the same apprehension about actually being a DVM, or is your uncertainty limited to vet school? Ultimately vet school is a means to an end, and if you're sure (or mostly sure) that that end (the DVM degree) is what you want, I wouldn't worry too much about being apprehensive about school. I think it's completely natural, and maybe even expected. Vet school will not be a cake walk by any means, but if you're accepted to a program chances are (barring any personal catastrophes along the way) you'll be capable of completing it if you want to (read: work hard enough to), no matter how painful the process may be. In the end it's only 4 years, and if being a veterinarian is really what you want, those 4 years will hopefully be a small price to pay no matter how arduous they end up being. :)
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Well said! :thumbup:
 
I think your feelings are some that many of us have felt to some extent. It can be an overwhelming experience just leading up to the acceptance. I have found that when i told myself i didn't want something that i had worked really hard for, it was just my defense mechanisms kicking in. It was easier to try and convince myself that i didn't really want it, than to accept being rejected/defeated.

Just my personal experience, but others have given some really good feedback. I think its good that most of us are really evaluating this major life decision prior to taking the plunge.
 
PrimalMU,

Are you in your last semester of undergrad? A friend of mine was just recently feeling like this and I told her...

"You're just burnt out from trying to get perfect grades for vet school these past 4 years, once you have and acceptance in hand you'll be soo excited and KNOW that it's what you want."

She just recently had her Missouri interview and is now again very excited.

I think this may be where you are. You're burnt out and who can blame you!? A lot of time, effort, emotion, etc. go into just getting into vet school!

Once you get and acceptance (which you probably will), I think you'll know what you want. If you're not excited...then don't go, there are many many other options out there for you. But if you are excited about the prospect of the DVM, go for it!!!

I am not at all excited about the school part. I'm terrified!!! Will i be good enough, will I fail out, will I be able to pass the boards 4 years down the road ??????:confused:

I don't know but I KNOW that I want to be a veterinarian and if 4 years of Vet school get me there, I'll do it!

I hope this helps!!! Good luck with your decision!
 
PrimalMU said:
? Or maybe after 6 years of undergrad, I'm simply not ready for another 4 years without some sort of break? Sometimes I even find myself hoping that I don't get accepted.

Does anyone else have these feelings? Any comments, suggestions, etc would be welcome.
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Hey, only you can decide what's best for you. But let me tell you, if you're just talking a break from academics, what about the summer before you start, the summer after your first year (depending on where you go), Christmas and spring breaks, etc? If you just are meaning a break period, trust me when I say you get a lot more breaks during academic life than you will in the working world.

Also I'm not trying to infer that this decision is a simple one, but you must know what being a veterinarian entails with the experience you have. If so, then ask yourself, can I see myself doing anything else for the rest of my life? If the answer is yes, then reevaluate. If the answer is no, then suck it up and trudge on ;). Everyone's scared of how difficult and testing 4 years of intense academic life can be, but if it's what you want to do - then you'll get through it.
 
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I think it's because this is new and you're not sure how it's going to pan out. I think it's normal. Though I am much further away from vet school than you, what I am focusing on right now is learning study and time management skills so in vet school I can learn material as thoroughly and as quickly as possible. It makse me feel good to know I'm doing what I can to prepare...not just hiding in my closet, worring.
 
jjohnston said:
Getting accepted to vet school was a dream come true, and I wanted it more than anything.

I think you really need to reevaluate things. Especially before taking someone else's spot only to drop out first quarter.
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LOL! Different people react in different ways. I was not nearly as confident as the OP is, but I only had a 3.4 (though my undergrad has a lot of success with professional school/grad school applicants) and was out for a decade. However, the process of waiting for acceptances put a lot of doubts in my head. Mine were more about the value vs the sacrifices, leaving work, living away from my husband, delaying a family, etc. Moving and starting weren't as big of issues, except how they affected my husband.

I had also avoided this path for a decade; it took too long, required too much $$$ and didn't pay enough, the costs in terms of my life were too high, and I had 2 decades of hearing how school was a lazy way out of work from my family. With all of that resistance, I am in the same place, with more valuable life experience. I do wish I had figured it out sooner, but I don't regret my path.

Did you apply to vet school because you want to work as a vet? Or did you apply because you didn't know what to do, it was a challenge, or it is the only thing you have ever considered? If it is the latter, take some time to think about it and visit the career counseling center at your school or discuss these issues with a mentor. You still have time to sort that stuff out. Do not go after a Masters or such because you don't know what to do; do that if you have a reason to do it. Same with vet school. Do not fret that you are, at this point, occupying a seat that you shouldn't.

As far as needing a break, I agree with the poster who said that work has fewer breaks than school. and there are still days when I am certain that I must be certifiably insane to be doing this, but more and more moments and days just confirm that I am on the right path, and the moments of contentment start to string together.

I hope you reach a point where it feels right, no matter what path you take!
 
sumstorm said:
Did you apply to vet school because you want to work as a vet? Or did you apply because you didn't know what to do, it was a challenge, or it is the only thing you have ever considered? If it is the latter, take some time to think about it and visit the career counseling center at your school or discuss these issues with a mentor. You still have time to sort that stuff out. Do not go after a Masters or such because you don't know what to do; do that if you have a reason to do it. Same with vet school. Do not fret that you are, at this point, occupying a seat that you shouldn't.

As far as needing a break, I agree with the poster who said that work has fewer breaks than school. and there are still days when I am certain that I must be certifiably insane to be doing this, but more and more moments and days just confirm that I am on the right path, and the moments of contentment start to string together.
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Haha, I actually didn't decide on vet school until my junior year of college (wow... 3 years ago...). Sometimes I think it might have been easier if I had "known" that I wanted to be a vet my whole life.

I think I mentioned that I have up days and down days. Today was an up day, and I've been doing a lot of thinking. I started thinking back on what really excited me about the field, one of which is stem cell therapies. Obviously I won't be doing just new, cutting edge therapies like that all the time, but it reminded me how exciting it will be to be in an industry that can pioneer these therapies.

And there's no doubt that I'm certifiably insane... but I'm sure that was the case BEFORE deciding on vet school. I think of it as a head start, because as I'm sure many of us know, everyone in vet med is insane one way or another. ;)

Oh, and a note for other pre-vets: don't enter into a relationship 6 months before you expect to ship off to vet school! While I don't regret meeting my girl, I do think it would have been easier had I not. Oh well, gonna work my ass off in vet school, what's one more thing added to the pile? :)
 
I did this:

I certainly didn't think I had a chance in hell of getting accepted, and of course I was scared about moving and starting once I was accepted, but I never once hoped that I wouldn't be. Getting accepted to vet school was a dream come true, and I wanted it more than anything.
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And this:

taking someone else's spot only to drop out first quarter.
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So I hear ya, and there is a lot of pressure once you have this wonderful opportunity - to take it and never look back. The thing is, it is a wonderful opportunity, but you have to figure out if it is a wonderful opportunity for YOU. Getting to be an astronaut is a wonderful opportunity too, but for someone like me who hates flying on passenger planes, it would not be a good idea!

Don't think of it in terms of stealing someone's seat. You can't make your life decisions based on someone else's life. I felt guilty about dropping out of my class (there will be one less vet in the world, and one person that lost a seat, etc) but I was not the first or the last person to drop out of Penn 2013 - I think they are down close to 10 people already. So you are not alone in feeling this way, before or after you start. If you get in, then you are qualified to get in, and you have every right to go and then decide it's not for you. I can tell you from experience, dropping out sucks and it is not fun and I'm not encouraging people to just "try it out."

I think it has helped me to think through these questions (and each one has taken a month or so):
-If I could be a vet now, and magically have all the right knowledge and skills implanted into my brain (no vet school), would I want to be a vet?
-Is there any other job that would fulfill my needs/wants in a job other than being a vet?
-What is the path to getting those other jobs, and how does that compare to vet school?
-Is vet school worth being a vet at the end?
-Can I make it through vet school sanity intact?

FWIW I will probably go back next year.

Please PM if you want to talk more about this - I wish I had had someone to talk to that had been through the same thing.
 
Bunnity - i did not know this about you (i probably missed it somewhere!), but am really glad you decided to share your story. I think it gives the OP (and others) some comfort knowing that it's OK to have those feelings. It sounds like you have done a lot of self reflecting and probably will end up back where you started - the difference being that you KNOW this is right this time.

Good for you and Good Luck!!
 
flyhi said:
Bunnity - i did not know this about you (i probably missed it somewhere!), but am really glad you decided to share your story. I think it gives the OP (and others) some comfort knowing that it's OK to have those feelings. It sounds like you have done a lot of self reflecting and probably will end up back where you started - the difference being that you KNOW this is right this time.

Good for you and Good Luck!!
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Thank you! I originally talked about it in the "Class of 2013, how ya doing" thread but it was a fast-moving thread so I'm not surprised if you missed it. I guess I should update my little "class of 2013" thing too.

I've been reading VIN a lot, trying to get some perspective on what life as a vet is like, and it seems that for some people, it is their life. For some people, it is a job they love. For some people, it is a job they do and then go home and that's when their life starts. I think that's OK - I think it is easy to blow it up into this big giant thing, and forget that being a vet can be a great career while being one of the many other things that fulfills and defines you. I think since it is so hard to get into school, it is easy to blow it up into the holy grail or something (and if the pre-med boards are any indication it's even worse for people hoping to be DOCTORS), and that just creates all this pressure that you have to love it every minute.

Anyway this isn't my thread so I'll stop :) but thanks for the support; I appreciate it.
 
Wouldn't it be nice if you could switch bodies with a vet for a week to see if you liked it? lol (You would have access to their brain and thus all their knowledge, phew!)
 
I just graduated from undergrad in December and am waiting to hear from my in state school. I WAS going through the optimisitic/depression cycles daily since I submitted in September but then I got my first real world job (YAY!).

I've been doing it for about 2 or 3 weeks now and I LOVE it. It's with an orthopedic medical research lab working on innovative products that are now starting to be applied to horses (I want to do equine medicine) with amazing results. Although this company is strictly human it's nice to know it has veterinary applications.

Anyway, the problem is that I'm really good at my new job and I'm making probably double or triple what I would as a new vet graduate only right now I have zero debt (thanks dad for paying for undergrad!). I'm really struggling with the idea of going back to school and getting $100K in debt, then make maybe $45K if I'm lucky.

I know in my heart that I want to be a vet and work with horses everyday no matter how much it might suck getting my DVM and being on call for the rest of my life so I guess that's my answer. It's going to be hard to walk away from this job if I do get in though.

But who knows...I haven't even had my interview yet so it might be a year or two before I even have to make that call.

I think my 'hang up' comes from not being sure I'll be a great vet. Like all pre vets I'm a type A, perfectionist and failure isn't in my vocab. I have a ridiculous amount of experience (2-4K hrs in small and horses) so I know I can handle the work load, etc but it's a totally different ball game when you're all alone right out of school then with a seasoned vet watching your every move!
 
bunnity said:
it is easy to blow it up into the holy grail or something (and if the pre-med boards are any indication it's even worse for people hoping to be DOCTORS), and that just creates all this pressure that you have to love it every minute.
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My vets are DOCTORS.
 
luplodw said:
I think they meant that human doctors feel high and mighty when they call themselves doctors
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yeah, and that pre-meds feel high and mighty even talking about it, to the point of always capitalizing the word.
 
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