How to turn down job offers?

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nancysinatra

nancysinatra

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So I'm in the enviable position of having gotten several job offers for next year, after I finish psych residency. I'm pretty sure which one I'm going to take. That means I will have to turn the others down. This includes 2 interviews I got through a recruiter. So I have to turn the recruiter down too.

Does anyone have any advice about how to do this and not walk away feeling like a horrible human being? These places were all incredibly nice to me, as was the recruiter. They paid for my entire interviewing trip. And I know what people say about recruiters but in this case, it was really helpful for me to talk to him.

I plan to call them all, thank them profusely for the offers and for the interviews, and tell them what I liked about their jobs, and mention one or two neutral sounding things that influenced my decision, like location. And then at one or two of the places I'll mention that I might be interested again in the future.

Does this sound like a plan? Anything else I should know? Never having had a dime of my interviewing expenses paid in the past, I am feeling really guilty about this process!
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Congratulations on all the job offers you've received.

Now rid yourself of the guilt feelings and the overwhelming urge to bake everyone cookies as an apology.

This is business and there will be no hurt feelings. As long as you don't come across as a complete ass, no employer or recruiter expects that everyone they offer a job to will take it. If you're a good candidate they will expect you have had other offers.

All you need to do is contact them, thank them for their time and make some vague comment about the wonderful opportunity they've provided to you but that you found something that fits your needs better. Leave it at that. If they ask for details you can certainly provide them, but otherwise move on and enjoy your new job.
 
Wow, thanks! That sounds so straightforward. I have never experienced anything like that... Well, now I'll try to put that straightforward approach in action!

Seriously though it was unbelievable the desperate need I saw at some places for a mere psychiatrist! Seemed like they had the whole town attend the interview lunch at some of these places.
 
Since you're new at this, understand that the offer you're going to take is their "first offer". They want you to take it. Don't do that. Ask for more -- more bonus, more salary, etc. Imagine how expensive and time consuming it is to interview more people. If you ask for more, they will give it to you.
 
nancysinatra said:
1.So I'm in the enviable position of having gotten several job offers for next year, after I finish psych residency. I'm pretty sure which one I'm going to take. That means I will have to turn the others down. This includes 2 interviews I got through a recruiter. So I have to turn the recruiter down too.

2.Does anyone have any advice about how to do this and not walk away feeling like a horrible human being? These places were all incredibly nice to me, as was the recruiter. They paid for my entire interviewing trip. And I know what people say about recruiters but in this case, it was really helpful for me to talk to him.

3.I plan to call them all, thank them profusely for the offers and for the interviews, and tell them what I liked about their jobs, and mention one or two neutral sounding things that influenced my decision, like location. And then at one or two of the places I'll mention that I might be interested again in the future.

4.Does this sound like a plan? Anything else I should know? Never having had a dime of my interviewing expenses paid in the past, I am feeling really guilty about this process!
Click to expand...

I have numbered these to make it easier. I have also resigned 3 jobs in the last 4 years and was asked to leave a job due to the employer being bankrupt and unable to afford my services. This is what I have learned over that journey.

1. Never burn a bridge. Know you are a hot commodity. Be sure you take the job that will make you the happiest. Don't let the high number suck you in. Remember that 180K or 15K/mo after taxes will bring hom 9500/month. Will that cover the bills? Know that all numbers are negotiable, don't be afraid to put out a counter offer. NEVER take the number they give you. Be sure to ask for what you need.

2. I do not believe in guilt. These folks are paid to cater to doctors. That's what they do. DO NOT get sucked into the hype of it. You are the hot commodity and worked hard to be catered to. All recruiters pay for you to come out. It's standard practice. It's in their budget. The best package wins. That's it.

3. DO NOT DO THIS. Just be polite in your decline, you can state why it wasn't a fit for you and move on. They do this every day. They understand that not every location is a fit.

4.NO plan.
a. Be sure you have a lawyer over look your contract
b. Be sure you don't have to pay malpractice if you resign before the first year
c. Be sure you have a way out if you TOTALLY HATE IT, where you don't have to pay anything back. This means the sign on bonus and the moving allowance. Know that the sign on will be after taxes so a 20,000 sign on will be check for about 11,000
d. Be sure you don't have to pay malpractice tail if you end up leaving.


You are a doctor. You worked hard to get where you are. The people wining and dining you went to school half the time you did. You DO NOT owe them anything. DO NOT have guilt. Be sure you get the contract you want with the extras you want. You worked hard and you deserve it. Don't short change yourself.

Please PM me if you have ANY questions.
 
Last edited:
cabinbuilder said:
I have numbered these to make it easier. I have also resigned 3 jobs in the last 4 years and was asked to leave a job due to the employer being bankrupt and unable to afford my services. This is what I have learned over that journey.

1. Never burn a bridge. Know you are a hot commodity. Be sure you take the job that will make you the happiest. Don't let the high number suck you in. Remember that 180K or 15K/mo after taxes will bring hom 9500/month. Will that cover the bills? Know that all numbers are negotiable, don't be afraid to put out a counter offer. NEVER take the number they give you. Be sure to ask for what you need.

2. I do not believe in guilt. These folks are paid to cater to doctors. That's what they do. DO NOT get sucked into the hype of it. You are the hot commodity and worked hard to be catered to. All recruiters pay for you to come out. It's standard practice. It's in their budget. The best package wins. That's it.

3. DO NOT DO THIS. Just be polite in your decline, you can state why it wasn't a fit for you and move on. They do this every day. They understand that not every location is a fit.

4.NO plan.
a. Be sure you have a lawyer over look your contract
b. Be sure you don't have to pay malpractice if you resign before the first year
c. Be sure you have a way out if you TOTALLY HATE IT, where you don't have to pay anything back. This means the sign on bonus and the moving allowance. Know that the sign on will be after taxes so a 20,000 sign on will be check for about 11,000
d. Be sure you don't have to pay malpractice tail if you end up leaving.


You are a doctor. You worked hard to get where you are. The people wining and dining you went to school half the time you did. You DO NOT owe them anything. DO NOT have guilt. Be sure you get the contract your want with the extras you want. You worked hard and you deserve it. Don't short change yourself.

Please PM me if you have ANY questions.
Click to expand...

Solid advice... I may need to get at you when my time comes (2.5 years :eek:)
 
cabinbuilder said:
I have numbered these to make it easier. I have also resigned 3 jobs in the last 4 years and was asked to leave a job due to the employer being bankrupt and unable to afford my services. This is what I have learned over that journey.

1. Never burn a bridge. Know you are a hot commodity. Be sure you take the job that will make you the happiest. Don't let the high number suck you in. Remember that 180K or 15K/mo after taxes will bring hom 9500/month. Will that cover the bills? Know that all numbers are negotiable, don't be afraid to put out a counter offer. NEVER take the number they give you. Be sure to ask for what you need.

2. I do not believe in guilt. These folks are paid to cater to doctors. That's what they do. DO NOT get sucked into the hype of it. You are the hot commodity and worked hard to be catered to. All recruiters pay for you to come out. It's standard practice. It's in their budget. The best package wins. That's it.

3. DO NOT DO THIS. Just be polite in your decline, you can state why it wasn't a fit for you and move on. They do this every day. They understand that not every location is a fit.

4.NO plan.
a. Be sure you have a lawyer over look your contract
b. Be sure you don't have to pay malpractice if you resign before the first year
c. Be sure you have a way out if you TOTALLY HATE IT, where you don't have to pay anything back. This means the sign on bonus and the moving allowance. Know that the sign on will be after taxes so a 20,000 sign on will be check for about 11,000
d. Be sure you don't have to pay malpractice tail if you end up leaving.


You are a doctor. You worked hard to get where you are. The people wining and dining you went to school half the time you did. You DO NOT owe them anything. DO NOT have guilt. Be sure you get the contract you want with the extras you want. You worked hard and you deserve it. Don't short change yourself.

Please PM me if you have ANY questions.
Click to expand...

Wow--thank you so much, this is incredibly helpful. It's so weird to go from residency where the powers that be won't even discount our parking or acknowledge that we're human beings, to being in a situation where I have some value...
 
nancysinatra said:
Wow--thank you so much, this is incredibly helpful. It's so weird to go from residency where the powers that be won't even discount our parking or acknowledge that we're human beings, to being in a situation where I have some value...
Click to expand...

I totally understand. All of a sudden everyone wants to talk with you, fly you to their site, then there's the dinners and the luncheons and how their package is the best. blah, blah, blah. It is very overwhelming and is very flattering to finally have attention and be made to feel like you matter. Just remember NOT TO SIGN ANYTHING until your lawyer looks it over for loop holes and traps if indeed the job turns ugly down the line.

I have been burned 4 times in a row by the employer (not my lawyer) so I just know what can happen and have learned the hard way what to look out for.
 
I second the notion that you should ask for more money if you're having this much success in your job search. This is your big chance!
 
Like in real estate if the house flys off the market it was priced too low...

Go for broke. Ask for the stars. Just be professional and polite then wait and see. I'm not a physician but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express...plus I've been on the other side hiring MD's for research. I hired techs who were better at negotiations than physicians. Always found it odd that physicians would undervalue their worth and techs would grossly overestimate theirs.
 
cabinbuilder said:
I have been burned 4 times in a row by the employer (not my lawyer) so I just know what can happen and have learned the hard way what to look out for.
Click to expand...

Very good lesson for everyone reading this thread. Don't be an employee.
 
you may also find you may not like the position you picked, so try to keep in touch with some of the other offers, so you can go back to them. sometimes it turns out you're working for fraudulent people, then you'll have something to fall back on. this happend to me several times. I end up with the wrong sort of people that are shady. I end up going to other people I met previously that I found out were legit.

Also, do research on all the people you work with to make sure you're not in a scammish practice or working with frauds. I guess you are in psych so you won't have that kind of problem, nor will you end up in pain pill mills like a primary care doc. However there still is a chance you may not truly like the job you first picked.

Good luck!:luck:
 
TheProwler said:
I second the notion that you should ask for more money if you're having this much success in your job search. This is your big chance!
Click to expand...

Part of why this is hard is that I'm looking in a part of the country where I don't currently live. The salaries there are a higher than where I am now. I really have no idea what's realistic.

I plan to work for a couple years and then do a fellowship. So it's not the rest of my life. But I want to pay off some of my loans.
 
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