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Started by NSMedical
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the idea is fine, tells the adcom about your childhood/upbringing that made you who you are. but if your friend think it's the sob story of the year, might want to tone it down on the details.
 
You're inspired by your mother and your experiences to pursue your dreams, great, but what about medicine makes you want to pursue it? What experiences in your life have specifically driven you towards medicine as opposed to any other field?

Your PS should be focused on "why medicine?" From what you've said here, I get very little of that.
 
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Yep. The back story can't take up too much space - it needs to just be one of many things that feeds into the greater picture of why you should obviously be a physician. I incorporated some family stuff & personal struggles, but as I edited my PS I had to keep cutting and condensing those parts so that they did not become the focus.
 
Personally, if I read about crimes against civil liberties and women as an inspiration, I would be thinking it was a personal statement for someone wanting to be a humanitarian or a social worker.

Its definitely good that your mother inspires you to follow your dreams, but you need to address WHY medicine is your dream.
 
I think as long as the focus is on how those experiences have not only shaped your character but led you to wanting to become a doctor, and not throwing yourself a pity party, it should be a great and eye catching!

For example, I was born and raised in Saudi Arabia and I included the fact that we had to evacuate because of terrorist activity in my PS to show that I was quick to adapt in the face of change and resilient. My PH committee said it was one of the best they had read.
 
PM your personal statement.

Bear in mind I have nothing to do with medical school admissions committees, so I might be talking out of my ass.
 
PM me . i actually got told almost the same about mine so I had to cut the personal side short by quite a bit. I can see if yours is simiilar to mine and needs similar cuts
 
I agree with what everyone else said, your PS should focus on "why medicine." I have a somewhat similar life story, but I decided to talk about that in secondaries that ask about significant challenges I've faced or how I'll bring diversity to the school. So you can certainly include it in your application to demonstrate how mature and compassionate you are, but not as the theme of your PS.
Just my opinion though. You're the only person who knows where your motivation to be a doctor comes from.
 
And I know this is obvious, but I would be very careful about sending your personal statement out to anyone, even via a PM. I'm not saying that people on SDN are untrustworthy, but I've heard horror stories about plagiarism before. Even if someone doesn't intend to copy your work, they may still be influenced by it, especially if their PS is already similar to yours.
 
I would leave out any details that would be considered triggering or otherwise graphic. Additionally, only include this story if it answers the question of why you want to be a doctor and what about your experiences will make you a good one.
 
Big decisions in life do not come as epiphanies. Deciding to be a doctor is a complex process involving both personal experiences and the actions you have pursued. Your mother's story undoubtedly had a profound influence on your perseverance and decision to help the unfortunate, but it is just one part of the story. You need to also focus on medicine, on yourself, and on the things you have done. It is overly simplistic to focus on someone else's life story as the highlight of your personal statement. Try to have your mom's story as part of your introduction, not as the bulk of the essay. What makes it a "sob" story is not necessarily your language, but the over-emphasis on someone else's misfortunes.
 
From the TS it sounds like you're mother is a really great person but are you trying to convey how great your mom is or how great you are?

I don't think its a good idea to focus so much on the struggles of another person even if they had an effect on you. This does not mean you shouldn't include it, but it should be rather brief and to the point instead of a main focus.
 
i completely agree with everyone. thank you all for your immense help. i have restructured my entire PS and taken out huge chunks about my mother and made it more about me.
 
I remember when I was in the midst of writing my college essays, my mom suggested I use her story as a "person who influenced you". After I tried that out, it sounded as if my mom wrote the story herself; not at all about me. My point is, your PS should be about you. Yes, your mom struggled through horrible conditions and inspired you, but this essay should be about you.
 
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