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[LizzyM]

Facial expression was my just my resting face. Not smiling or anything, just a blank face.

As you've been told, smiling is step 1 in building rapport with a patient and the family.

I’d say a decent amount of eye contact. I told them I was a volunteer and I was going to take them down for their X-ray and I walk them down there. No conversation walking down there.

Why not? Part of being a volunteer should be developing the ability to engage in a bit of small talk to help people relax and be comfortable.

X-ray techs do their thing, and I ask them if they were ready to go and she asked if they needed any paper work, I say no. I ask if they were ready, mom says they can find their way out. I ask them if they were sure, she cuts me off saying she’s not getting my vibe, the can find their way out, and I can go back to what I need to do. I just kinda walk away since she doesn’t want anything to do with me and I was surprised with that reaction.


I thought about and it might be my face, My resting face isn’t the most friendly expression. Kinda a male resting bitch face. Maybe I walked a little fast in the hallway, and I was looking at their sheet fairly often to make sure they should be going to X-ray. That could seem suspicious I guess. Sometimes when I read things I immediately forget what I just read. I also just woke up with maybe 5-6 hours of sleep, so maybe my voice was monotone or slurred.

Why would you be surprised? If the building has any signage at all, they can find their way out without someone who did not smile, did not speak to them except in the most perfunctory way, did not seem to have an interest in them or where they were going (you couldn't keep their destination in your head for the few minutes it would take to go there??).

Reflect on what went wrong and think about what you could do differently next time to make patients feel welcomed and valued.

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[RNtoMD87]

The foreboding sign is that it’s all about you. It has nothing to do with you- it’s about the patient.

Instead of asking “how can I be a better patient advocate”, you’re complaining

And when you say “if a doctor heckles me I’ll heckle him right back” reminds me of all of those home town tough guys. “I wanted to join the Army but I’f a drill sergeant got in my face, id knock him the f out”

Sure you will buddy.. sure you will...

 

[Cheenghee Koh]

Facial expression was my just my resting face. Not smiling or anything, just a blank face. I’d say a decent amount of eye contact. I told them I was a volunteer and I was going to take them down for their X-ray and I walk them down there. No conversation walking down there. X-ray techs do their thing, and I ask them if they were ready to go and she asked if they needed any paper work, I say no. I ask if they were ready, mom says they can find their way out. I ask them if they were sure, she cuts me off saying she’s not getting my vibe, the can find their way out, and I can go back to what I need to do. I just kinda walk away since she doesn’t want anything to do with me and I was surprised with that reaction.

I thought about and it might be my face, My resting face isn’t the most friendly expression. Kinda a male resting bitch face. Maybe I walked a little fast in the hallway, and I was looking at their sheet fairly often to make sure they should be going to X-ray. That could seem suspicious I guess. Sometimes when I read things I immediately forget what I just read. I also just woke up with maybe 5-6 hours of sleep, so maybe my voice was monotone or slurred.

Thanks goodness that you finally gave us some more details about what happened that day.

I think when you were writing about this experience, maybe you already got some ideas what might have happened.

Please remember, medicine, as well as all the other health and human service professions, require a great amount of emotion work - an important competence is that you have to effectively convey your genuine care to your patients. Often, it is not only expressed by what you say, but also how you say it - your facial expressions, your eyes, your gestures, your tones, your overall body language (walking too fast ahead of them/walking slowly, side-by-side with them, slightly leaning or facing toward them/when talking to the child shorter than you, lowering down your body so that you can of similar height with the child), with or without your consciousness. I agree with other people that, if you can afford it, find a therapist or a counselor, so that you can become more aware of how you communicate through your body that is not what you intend to. (If you are still in college, you can have access to free counseling services in student counseling center.)

Beyond this, in fact when I read through this thread, what really worries me is not your capacity to express your care, but you present yourself as a calculating and callous person. You mentioned that, after these two similar events, you were not bothered by the mom's reactions. Rather, you are now more concerned that you can not get a letter from the director that may benefit you in your MD application (and you mentioned it more than 1 time in your responses). In addition, you mentioned that these two events happened in your first 130+ hours there - in fact 130 hours are not long, they only worth 3 weeks of a full-time position. Therefore, to me, these two events occurred early, which speaks something to me. Yet, it seems like you are not really interested in sorting out what you can do differently, but concerned how this may hurt your application. Perhaps you may want to do deeper soul-searching about how you feel about the entire volunteering experience, and how you relate to other people in general, putting aside your MD application for now.

 

[RNtoMD87]

Alright. I thought about it. How do I feel about the whole volunteering experience? It’s like another prerequisite. It’s pretty much another 4 hour chemistry lab that meets once a week. I don’t hate it, but I don’t love it. I think everyone else feels something similar - if we all aren’t trying to get into medical school I doubt we’d be spending our free time volunteering. Even so, the most I can do to help patients while volunteering is give them a cup of water or a warm blanket, which is not much at all. It’s the equivalent of “thoughts and prayers” for any new tragedy. It’s much different than physicians who actually give the prescriptions and surgeries, who are directly involved at improving what is wrong with a person, and it’s much easier to be emotionally invested because they have the power to actually “fix” someone. I do hope every patient that walks out of a hospital feels better then they felt when they enteret, but as a volunteer that can only clean beds and wish them luck on their problems, it’s hard at least for me to not feel apathetic.

I honestly wouldn’t have volunteered if not for premed because I never thought to, but now I enjoy it and would like to volunteer in some capacity life long. I really get pleasure from teaching prediabetes classes at the YMCA or helping seniors in the gym where I work out.

Another thing- giving blankets or ice to patients means more than you think. Sitting and talking with the patients is also very therapeutic. I try to make time to go talk to all of my patients when possible. Don’t downplay your roles importance.


Doctors and nurses don’t “fix” anyone (except maybe surgeons) We simply provide the body with the means to fix itself.

 

[dpmd]

Alright. I thought about it. How do I feel about the whole volunteering experience? It’s like another prerequisite. It’s pretty much another 4 hour chemistry lab that meets once a week. I don’t hate it, but I don’t love it. I think everyone else feels something similar - if we all aren’t trying to get into medical school I doubt we’d be spending our free time volunteering. Even so, the most I can do to help patients while volunteering is give them a cup of water or a warm blanket, which is not much at all. It’s the equivalent of “thoughts and prayers” for any new tragedy. It’s much different than physicians who actually give the prescriptions and surgeries, who are directly involved at improving what is wrong with a person, and it’s much easier to be emotionally invested because they have the power to actually “fix” someone. I do hope every patient that walks out of a hospital feels better then they felt when they enteret, but as a volunteer that can only clean beds and wish them luck on their problems, it’s hard at least for me to not feel apathetic.

This is a load of crap. Not everyone is so self involved that they only volunteer to try to get into school. Some people actually care about others and want to be involved in helping them even if it is little things like getting them a blanket or showing them where to go. Those people continue to volunteer their time even after getting in to school and even after becoming successful doctors.

 

[RNtoMD87]

This is a load of crap. Not everyone is so self involved that they only volunteer to try to get into school. Some people actually care about others and want to be involved in helping them even if it is little things like getting them a blanket or showing them where to go. Those people continue to volunteer their time even after getting in to school and even after becoming successful doctors.

I get just as much satisfaction with volunteering as I do from my job, maybe even some times more. The people I work with are often more willing to fix their lifestyle, and that is something I highly respect.

 

[Cheenghee Koh]

Alright. I thought about it. How do I feel about the whole volunteering experience? It’s like another prerequisite. It’s pretty much another 4 hour chemistry lab that meets once a week. I don’t hate it, but I don’t love it. I think everyone else feels something similar - if we all aren’t trying to get into medical school I doubt we’d be spending our free time volunteering.

I honestly wouldn’t have volunteered if not for premed because I never thought to, but now I enjoy it and would like to volunteer in some capacity life long. I really get pleasure from teaching prediabetes classes at the YMCA or helping seniors in the gym where I work out.
Another thing- giving blankets or ice to patients means more than you think. Sitting and talking with the patients is also very therapeutic. I try to make time to go talk to all of my patients when possible. Don’t downplay your roles importance.

Hope you find the differences. I think adcoms can tell who does volunteering as another chore they have to, and who does it because they want to. In your secondaries, you will have to write a lot about your volunteering experiences. If you don't find volunteering at this location make you want to do more, perhaps you don't feel for this population. If possible, find a population that really ignites your passions: you want to do more, to see them get better. You don't have to volunteer in medical settings. My volunteering experiences are in LGBT center.

 

[RNtoMD87]

I feel like cocter is wanting to be a physician because its a "good job" or the prestige or accomplishment. I don't think this is a bad start if its for the accomplishment. That is what got me started on my medical path, but hopefully you (Doctorcocter) find your passion for it. You need to find the population that you feel really compelled to help. For me its children and the elderly. I find my compassion for typical adults depends on the situation. In emergent situations I find myself especially compassionate, as well as those who are helping themselves, but honestly, chronic sufferers that do little to help themselves, I find myself saying "If you don't care, I don't either".

 

[dpmd]

I get just as much satisfaction with volunteering as I do from my job, maybe even some times more. The people I work with are often more willing to fix their lifestyle, and that is something I highly respect.

Some of my most rewarding experiences have been volunteering doing really mundane but out of my norm things like creating a v ditch for a habitat for humanity home, or ripping out floors and walls from a flood damaged home.

 

[Cheenghee Koh]

I feel like cocter is wanting to be a physician because its a "good job" or the prestige or accomplishment. I don't think this is a bad start if its for the accomplishment. That is what got me started on my medical path, but hopefully you (Doctorcocter) find your passion for it. You need to find the population that you feel really compelled to help. For me its children and the elderly. I find my compassion for typical adults depends on the situation. In emergent situations I find myself especially compassionate, as well as those who are helping themselves, but honestly, chronic sufferers that do little to help themselves, I find myself saying "If you don't care, I don't either".

Haha, part of my interests is to make them realize: why I don't care? I don't know that I don't care, but maybe I don't care? But if I really don't care, why? what happened? perhaps I care more than I thought I did..... It is always fascinating to see people change their mind.

 

[smukke]

Even so, the most I can do to help patients while volunteering is give them a cup of water or a warm blanket, which is not much at all. It’s the equivalent of “thoughts and prayers” for any new tragedy.

I get water and blankets for my patients a lot. Honestly I find it it's easier/faster to do it myself than trying to figure out who to relay it to (unless there's some pressing issue that needs to be dealt with immediately and that is super rare outside the trauma bay/crit care bay/ICU, and at that point I don't really care if a patient feels a little cold or thirsty as long as they are stable) . A happy patient is hopefully one less patient that I get a non-emergent page on later.

Thoughts and prayers would probably do a lot for the majority of patients who aren't in the trauma bay/ICU, or at least having someone there to listen to their story without interruptions (ie volunteers and med students).

You do more than you realize. Or at least save the RN/resident/attending from having to do a lot more work.

 

[RNtoMD87]

I get water and blankets for my patients a lot. Honestly I find it it's easier/faster to do it myself than trying to figure out who to relay it to (unless there's some pressing issue that needs to be dealt with immediately and that is super rare outside the trauma bay/crit care bay/ICU, and at that point I don't really care if a patient feels a little cold or thirsty as long as they are stable) . A happy patient is hopefully one less patient that I get a non-emergent page on later.

Thoughts and prayers would probably do a lot for the majority of patients who aren't in the trauma bay/ICU, or at least having someone there to listen to their story without interruptions (ie volunteers and med students).

You do more than you realize. Or at least save the RN/resident/attending from having to do a lot more work.

A good CNA/sitter or volunteer/nursing student is a GODSEND.

 

[deleted938090]

The point of the volunteering isn’t to check off a list, but rather to answer for yourself, “Do I like to work with people?” By observing, you learn skills that aren’t taught in classes.

I understand what you felt when you said you wished you could do more to help the patient. That is a major reason why I wanted to be a doctor. But even as an assistant, you still can make a difference for the patients. Patients are defined by more than their physical symptoms: they may have the desire to connect, to socialize, and to share the experience of being human. In that regard, your role is to make the patients feel “at home”. Think about the most positive experiences you’ve had in a clinic, etc as a patient. Did the staff remain silent the entire time? Or were they warm and friendly?

 

[LizzyM]

Alright. I thought about it. How do I feel about the whole volunteering experience? It’s like another prerequisite. It’s pretty much another 4 hour chemistry lab that meets once a week. I don’t hate it, but I don’t love it. I think everyone else feels something similar - if we all aren’t trying to get into medical school I doubt we’d be spending our free time volunteering. Even so, the most I can do to help patients while volunteering is give them a cup of water or a warm blanket, which is not much at all. It’s the equivalent of “thoughts and prayers” for any new tragedy. It’s much different than physicians who actually give the prescriptions and surgeries, who are directly involved at improving what is wrong with a person, and it’s much easier to be emotionally invested because they have the power to actually “fix” someone. I do hope every patient that walks out of a hospital feels better then they felt when they enteret, but as a volunteer that can only clean beds and wish them luck on their problems, it’s hard at least for me to not feel apathetic.

My OB actually got me a glass of water and held it for me to sip from while I held the baby she'd just delivered. That's not part of being a doc but it helped me feel better and >20 years later, I remember it more than anything else that a physician or nurse did for me.

If someone who is sick or injured is cold or thirsty or lonely, you have the ability to make them more comfortable. If you aren't attracted to that opportunity, maybe health care is not the right career for you.

 

[Goro]

I'll have to disagree here. It sort of is to check off the box, but also to show that you are altruistic. Almost any job you get will answer whether you like to work with people, but this is far less sought after in admissions and isn't critically considered for the character-building that it actually merits.

OP, maybe look at focusing on character building, then once that has been done, find a good non-clinical volunteering gig.

My OB actually got me a glass of water and held it for me to sip from while I held the baby she'd just delivered. That's not part of being a doc but it helped me feel better and >20 years later, I remember it more than anything else that a physician or nurse did for me.

If someone who is sick or injured is cold or thirsty or lonely, you have the ability to make them more comfortable. If you aren't attracted to that opportunity, maybe health care is not the right career for you.

I'll have to disagree here. It sort of is to check off the box, but also to show that you are altruistic. Almost any job you get will answer whether you like to work with people, but this is far less sought after in admissions and isn't critically considered for the character-building that it actually merits.

OP, maybe look at focusing on character building, then once that has been done, find a good non-clinical volunteering gig.

These are just a few of the most important thoughts on volunteering on this page.

What I have seen in being on SDN for > five years is that those most successful in getting into med school do what they love and love what they do. When I interview people and we discuss volunteering experiences, it's quite easy to pick out those who were passionate about their experiences. This is hard to fake, even though you're constantly read box checkers write "fake it 'til you make it". Those people tend not to get into med school.

So yeah, it's pre-req, just like a year of Bio, but it's sign for you as well as us. If you don't like what you're doing, you're not going to like Medicine. And if you don't like stack blankets in the ER linen cabinet, find a different venue, like hospice care or nursing homes. You don't have to be a volunteer drone. That's on you.