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The job is amazing! It was my dream job when I was still in vet school (still is) and I couldn’t believe they offered it to me and said my dvm degree without the USA clinical License was enough.
Most of the male residents wives are lawyers or psych ds and are currently making more than their husbands, I don’t understand why my husband is shooting down all of my job offers, and it’s all within a 10 minute drive from home and 2 minute drive from his hospital.
I guess husband just doesn’t believe I can be a supportive spouse if I have my own career. He said that if he had known I was like this he would have just dated a career woman in the states and not get married since the whole point of marriage is to go home to a warm meal and have the wife be there for him.
And if I eat divorced, my green card will be in jeopardy and then I’d have to go back to my home country and face my mentally/physically abusive parents who didn’t allow me to work either, but rather... made me stay with them and wrapped me up like a gift bride.
My husband went through a lot of sxxt to get me out of my past abusive family situation, and I helped him get matched with my own connections after he failed the match once. We are considered by friends as “the couple who went through the most sxxt and is still lovey dovey”. I feel like I want this job sooooo bad but I also owe him too much for saving me and bringing me to states. Hence my gutless submissions to his controlling behavior.
The job is amazing! It was my dream job when I was still in vet school (still is) and I couldn’t believe they offered it to me and said my dvm degree without the USA clinical License was enough.
Most of the male residents wives are lawyers or psych ds and are currently making more than their husbands, I don’t understand why my husband is shooting down all of my job offers, and it’s all within a 10 minute drive from home and 2 minute drive from his hospital.
I guess husband just doesn’t believe I can be a supportive spouse if I have my own career. He said that if he had known I was like this he would have just dated a career woman in the states and not get married since the whole point of marriage is to go home to a warm meal and have the wife be there for him.
And if I eat divorced, my green card will be in jeopardy and then I’d have to go back to my home country and face my mentally/physically abusive parents who didn’t allow me to work either, but rather... made me stay with them and wrapped me up like a gift bride.
My husband went through a lot of sxxt to get me out of my past abusive family situation, and I helped him get matched with my own connections after he failed the match once. We are considered by friends as “the couple who went through the most sxxt and is still lovey dovey”. I feel like I want this job sooooo bad but I also owe him too much for saving me and bringing me to states. Hence my gutless submissions to his controlling behavior.
Will the state government help you maintain your green card? I'm no immigration nerd, but there's many ways to get or maintain permanent US residency. Marriage is only one of several ways. I hope you accept the job offer, and congratulations for getting it!
Husband is being submissive to his own ego, unable to dominate it. I'm really sorry to read your story about how controlling he is. You're a DVM for Pete's sake, and you're a hard working asset to this country who came from difficult upbringing to find a better life. Classic American dream. It is heartbreaking to read the comments your husband is making about what jobs are or are not acceptable. It's so foreign to me. That's a great starting salary and should put both you and PGY-1 husband on solid financial footing. You can kill any debt you have, save and invest for a better future, a better family, more peace and stability and less worry. I'd be like "Hell yeah!" if my spouse landed a good job, since she's part of the partnership.
I don't have relationship advice on how to deal with your husband -- someone here said it will get worse. That's certainly possible. I just wish there was a way to smack insecurity and ego out of somebody and fix them.
My only suggestion in this post is to ask this employer if they can help support your green card and vouch for your value to stay in this country to work. I hope you accept the job offer, and best wishes with the personal situation.