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mwsapphire said:
I can't tell if you're being totally serious? I commuted from home for college and have some good volunteer EC's ( especially my senior care one) that I can talk about but I don't have any interesting hobbies.Do I need to wait 3 years , or am I less adult for living at home? As a young muslim woman, living at home for college is very much the norm. And because I am in state, live at home, and have a merit scholly I didn't have to work, either.
And OP, what were your EC's total?
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She wasn’t saying living at home is bad. Having helicopter parents and not really any ECs isn’t good. If you can’t even answer a basic question such as what is your biggest accomplishment perhaps this person needs to get out and live more. Get some life experience.
 
On_The_Way_Up said:
. . . If you can’t even answer a basic question such as what is your biggest accomplishment perhaps this person needs to get out and live more. Get some life experience.
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Not all young people can get significant life experience before they apply. Many are on a timeline in which they go directly from high school to college to medical school. They never get sufficient opportunities or exposure to new things outside of school and studying. Of course, research and volunteer work can provide some novel experiences but the time frame is very short. A lot of premeds do things in order to look good on an application. This is one area where being older and non-traditional can be an advantage. Older applicants simply have had more time to do more things, to do a greater variety of them, to get involved in the things that they find passionate and in their communities, and to do that for a much longer time. Furthermore, many non-trads have done unique things well before they became premed, so they weren't just trying to please AdComms. Ditto, for the failures: they've had more opportunities to fail and, hopefully, get back up and try again. The hard part will not be finding something to write about, but choosing which accomplishmens and failures are their "greatest" or most significant.
 
peregrino said:
Not all young people can get significant life experience before they apply. Many are on a timeline in which they go directly from high school to college to medical school. <snip>
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No one HAS to apply as a rising senior. That is changing and it is for the best, IMHO. Students who have had some time in the real world are better students and both students and faculty are happier for it.
 
LizzyM said:
No one HAS to apply as a rising senior. That is changing and it is for the best, IMHO. Students who have had some time in the real world are better students and both students and faculty are happier for it.
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I think this is a good thing. I feel like I am becoming a non trad and getting “old” (24) I have had an abundance of life experiences that i would have missed out on (including the birth of my daughter who has pushed me beyond all belief) had I done my undergrad correct when I started, I have had a life of real world experiences starting from when a i was 12 but that’s besides the point. If i would have done undergrad correct I do not feel I would have been nearly as prepared for the challenges of medical school as I believe I am now. Take a gap year OP if you want to get some real world experiences that can benefit you.
 
LizzyM said:
No one HAS to apply as a rising senior. That is changing and it is for the best, IMHO. Students who have had some time in the real world are better students and both students and faculty are happier for it.
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Burnout is also lower for non-trads.
 
Calizboosted76 said:
I think this is a good thing. I feel like I am becoming a non trad and getting “old” (24) I have had an abundance of life experiences that i would have missed out on (including the birth of my daughter who has pushed me beyond all belief) had I done my undergrad correct when I started, I have had a life of real world experiences starting from when a i was 12 but that’s besides the point. If i would have done undergrad correct I do not feel I would have been nearly as prepared for the challenges of medical school as I believe I am now. Take a gap year OP if you want to get some real world experiences that can benefit you.
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Couldn’t agree more. Not that having children is a prerequisite, but it sure forces you to grow up in a hurry.

The ability to deal with adversity and challenges, embrace diversity, and communicate all of this is a prerequisite for medical school. Why? Because medicine is filled with adversity, challenges, failure, screaming patients, burnout, happy moments, and diversity. Do the topics from secondary essays start to make sense? There is a point to all of this.
 
LizzyM said:
No one HAS to apply as a rising senior. That is changing and it is for the best, IMHO. Students who have had some time in the real world are better students and both students and faculty are happier for it.
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I completely agree, LizzyM. I was trying to put her (mwsapphire) situation into the context of the straight-through premed, i.e. one who goes straight through from high school to college to medical school. And sometimes, it is not because they (the student premeds) want to but because their parents or family or their community wants them to do so. Taking time off after college or delaying an application to medical school would give a premed time to not only gain more varied experiences prior to applying but also to decide if medicine (or dentistry or podiatry or nursing, whatever) is really right for her or him.

As an older non-trad myself, I have had lots of time to see if health care is right for me and to see which branches of health care appeal to my interests. And like Cornfed101 stated, "ability to deal with adversity and challenges, embrace diversity, and communicate all of this is a prerequisite for medical school. Why? Because medicine is filled with adversity, challenges, failure, screaming patients, burnout, happy moments, and diversity." In return, those experiences can be drawn upon not only when answering questions, in secondaries and interviews, but when dealing with patients and their families.
 
xMikeyDay said:
I'm 23 with a Wife and a daughter, and I ditto the posts above. It's definitely an additionally motivator too when your future career has a good chance of putting you in $200k debt.
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Going to jump on the child train here. Beyond the love, support, sleepless nights etc. that everyone thinks of about being a parent, from a ‘student perspective’ becoming a parent before even starting undergrad has taught me compassion, time management, prioritizing work/life balance, how to cook and take care of myself and others, and so on and there is absolutely no way I would have been prepared for undergrad.
 
doctorcocter said:
Also, I'd like to mention I grew with traditional Chinese parents and I can't just leave and live my own life just like that without getting disowned, or at least getting shunned by all of my family.
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This is my own opinion, but a family that hinders you as a person is not a family worth being associated with.
doctorcocter said:
I don't know if you ADCOMS realize this, but you are pretty damn picky about what's acceptable.
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It isn’t about what your success or failure is. It is about how you convey it. How do you know what they consider acceptable?
 
doctorcocter said:
Even when it happened a long time ago? I'll leave it out regardless.
I'm not saying I've never experienced successes/failures, I just can't think of many that would be acceptable to write about. I don't know if you ADCOMS realize this, but you are pretty damn picky about what's acceptable. Also, I'd like to mention I grew with traditional Chinese parents and I can't just leave and live my own life just like that without getting disowned, or at least getting shunned by all of my family.
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I don't think anyone is disregarding your experiences with your family. But your problems with your family do raise a few concerns regarding your ability to communicate effectively with your parents in order to control your own success.

Have you ever sincerely considered that maybe you are having trouble with this because you are scared of failure and putting the finger on your parents gives you a chance to avoid putting the responsibility of failure on yourself? That's the vibe I am getting from you because starting right from the beginning in your original post you said that you haven't accomplished much in life so it seems like you have defeatist tendencies and you are already accepting failure.

Do you maybe think that that's what is preventing you from having an honest conversation with your parents about their control over you?
 
doctorcocter said:
They've been supportive of me being a premed and tried to get me connections that helped me with my app. They can be a handful to deal with but they are my parents. I can't just tell them to screw off.



I'm financially dependent on them. Haven't really tried that much honestly.



Well then.... Do you think I can talk about a time when a girl shot me down because I said the wrong thing? I got more than half a dozen of those ready.
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I edited my post by the time you responded.
 
doctorcocter said:
It's a cultural thing. Plus I've grown to be fine with it.



I feel like the bolded contradict each other so I'm not sure how to respond. In time my parents have loosened up and I have developed my own hobbies but none of them really give me "opportunities" to fail in a way that would change me as a person.
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What I meant was being scared to take responsibility for failure. You can accept failure as an occurrence and yet not accept taking responsibility for it.
 
doctorcocter said:
It's a cultural thing. Plus I've grown to be fine with it.
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Am I in the wrong for thinking that you can honor your cultural heritage while also not letting it control/hinder you as a person? I really do not know, I am a white dude from an upper middle class non-religious family. No real cultural heritage, so I might just not understand.
 
MemeLord said:
Am I in the wrong for thinking that you can honor your cultural heritage while also not letting it control/hinder you as a person? I really do not know, I am a white dude from an upper middle class non-religious family. No real cultural heritage, so I might just not understand.
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From my own personal experience, I can honestly say that it has everything to do with communication with parents. Even the most strict, traditional parents from any culture who live and settle in America will acknowledge on some level that it is important to let their children explore outside from their tradition in order to be successful.
 
doctorcocter said:
The mom was honestly just not a nice person.
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The fact that you are saying this in an online forum, especially as an explanation to something negative in your life, is what the biggest problem is.

EDIT: Oops my bad, I thought you were talking about your mom. Nevermind!

On the flip side though, it's very important to remember that there will be many patients that don't like you. You can do everything in your power and even go outside your scope to help a patient and receive nothing more than a lawsuit.
 
doctorcocter said:
It was a Saturday morning and no one wants to be in the hospital on the weekend, so I do get it... But on the other hand no other patient (or friend/relative) I interacted with that day had an attitude. And she had this exact haircut so idk:

View attachment 272872
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IMHO, overprotective moms are one of the easiest to deal with (in relation to other difficult cases) because all they are really looking for is someone to sincerely listen and address their fears, and someone who cares.

Prisoners, drug addicts, homeless individuals, etc require much more empathy and understanding and may have socio-cultural issues that penetrate deep into their psyche and physical well being.
 
doctorcocter said:
...is interacting with prisoners/drug addicts a common occurrence for premeds or something?
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Depends on the role. But that wasn't my point.

My point was that you tried blaming the mom of the patient, albeit only slightly but significantly. But in your career you will see much more complicated situations than an overprotective mother.
 
doctorcocter said:
Even when it happened a long time ago? I'll leave it out regardless.



I'm not saying I've never experienced successes/failures, I just can't think of many that would be acceptable to write about. I don't know if you ADCOMS realize this, but you are pretty damn picky about what's acceptable. Also, I'd like to mention I grew with traditional Chinese parents and I can't just leave and live my own life just like that without getting disowned, or at least getting shunned by all of my family.
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Eating disorders go hand in hand with many psych disorders. There is a lot of stigma against psych disorders both in and outside of medicine. I’m not debating the rights and wrongs of this, it’s simply the world we live in. It’s always better to not shoot yourself in the foot before you try to race against all the other applicants. Just replace eating disorder with feeling unhealthy. It’s not a lie as I’m sure you felt unhealthy when you were dealing with your disorder.
 
272879

@LizzyM

TRexLife4 said:
The fact that you changed your avatar after all these years has me questioning the purpose of life...............
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OP, your family situation is tough, but it’s what you’ve been dealt and you have to make the most of it. I recommend Boundaries, by Henry Cloud (Christian overtones, but it’s good regardless of your religion/lack thereof).
 
doctorcocter said:
...is interacting with prisoners/drug addicts a common occurrence for premeds or something?
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It is if you work in the ED LOL. They cant seem to stay away, “I’m in so much pain and have no pain medicine.” *Consults Eforsce, Pt received #300 BID Oxycodone ....... yesterday*
 
Calizboosted76 said:
It is if you work in the ED LOL. They cant seem to stay away, “I’m in so much pain and have no pain medicine.” *Consults Eforsce, Pt received #300 BID Oxycodone ....... yesterday*
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+1

When I was scribing in the ED there was a lady that came in with a sore throat and asked for Vicodin 🙄. The physician was like, "umm, no" haha
 
doctorcocter said:
...is interacting with prisoners/drug addicts a common occurrence for premeds or something?
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Based on what I’ve seen here and how our society treats (pun intended) these subpopulations, I would not say it is common. But can be depending on where you live, work, and/or go to school. It also depends on your interests:

Calizboosted76 said:
It is if you work in the ED LOL. They cant seem to stay away, “I’m in so much pain and have no pain medicine.” *Consults Eforsce, Pt received #300 BID Oxycodone ....... yesterday*
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It is also true in the streets as well. I got involved in healthcare because of my interest in the plight and lives of these populations. That led to volunteering at a free clinic, at syringe exchanges, and setting up mobile wound/abcess care clinics. Most of our clients were homeless and/or drug addicts. Later as an undergrad anthro major, I conducted ethnographic fieldwork among both populations.
 
doctorcocter said:
So... Now that my involuntary psychotherapy session is over, when exactly is the cutoff for something that happened too early to be talked about? I remember things pretty clearly that happened in middle school that would probably be more convincing than things that happened later.
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Im discussing instances that date back to when I was 5 years old in different parts of the apps, such as undergoing a crainiectomy (but I remember most of this and also kept in touch with the neurosurgeon who performed the surgery.
 
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