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I'm going to be honest, I don't think it is quite strong enough in its current form.
 
This sounds more like a diversity essay than adversity. But I think it would be good for that
 
I'm going to be honest, I don't think it is quite strong enough in its current form.
So just to clarify, this isn't actually the essay; it's just a potential theme/topic. Do you think it would work? Or should I scrap the topic entirely?
 
You can do better.

Would you mind elaborating? Does it not reflect a sufficiently great degree of adversity? I was sort of thrown by the word "situation" in the JHU prompt, which seems to imply a discrete set of circumstances.
 
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