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Started by biostats1092
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You have to mix and match with lots of people in your medical career and there is no reason to let this minor incident dominate your thoughts after this much time. It sounds like you have talked to her about it and she has left it in the past. Can't you do that too?
 
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ok so... not sure if i understand the situation. But from what you described: you started a gossip that is very personal about someone else's lives, that could hurt them. Then, the girl ignores you (btw no one HAS to be your friend, She has a full right to not be nice to you. She doesnt have to say hi to you either). So then you are saying that she looks at your personal notes, and you are calling this bullying.... Honestly the whole situation paints you in a VERY bad light. I would stay away from this situation, from Tom and from Mary. And stop going out with these ppl. Get other friends from outside your class.

Also, you reporting this situation, - if i was looking into it, - will show me your lack of maturity because you couldnt handle it yourself. Like, from the outside it looks like you just cant stand that she doesnt like you. Get over it and focus on your career. You are in med school for a reason, and personal relationships isnt it.

i know its harsh, but its my honest opinion
 
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Goro said:
I can't sugar coat this: OP, you're going to have patients spit on you, if not actually try to hit you. You'll definitely have people suing you.

If a classmate doesn't like you, how are you going to deal with the above???

You're not in high school anymore, so if Mary doesn't, you need to grow up, accept that, and move on.
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oh yeah. In addition to that when you start clinical rotations, you will be sleep deprived, working 80 hours a week plus struggling finding time for studying plus nurses will snap at you once in a while, there will be as**ole patients, as**ole residents, arrogant attendings who will make you feel like you are the worst medicine has ever seen, the list goes on and on and on.

There will be days when you come in with horrible cramps, diarrhea, nausea from sleep deprivation, your patients will be dying and attendings will be yelling, and all you can do is cry in the bathroom. There will be so many days like this when you will choose a nap on an old chair in a hallway, instead of lunch, and just stuff as much chocolate in your mouth as you can during elevator rides to not pass out. And the list goes on and on and on. I think you get my point. At these moments remember this post, and it will seem so insignificant, you will laugh/cry about it
 
Agree with the other posters in that your post, correctly or incorrectly, paints you as having stunningly immature emotional/social skills. This is not something I would recommend going out of your way to reveal to your evaluators.

This person doesn't want to be your friend. That's fine, we're not in middle school anymore. In medicine, you are going to have people - attendings, nurses, coworkers, etc - criticize and argue with you. You are going to have patients say horrible things to you, often - frustrated patients taking it out on the junior residents is very common. You will see the entire gamut of unhealthy coping mechanisms and will be blamed for things you have no control over. Every hospital has places where residents go to cry.

My suggestion is to forget about this, and grow a thicker skin, so to speak. You are going to need it, or you're seriously not going to survive residency.
 
Goro said:
I can't sugar coat this: OP, you're going to have patients spit on you, if not actually try to hit you. You'll definitely have people suing you.

If a classmate doesn't like you, how are you going to deal with the above???

You're not in high school anymore, so if Mary doesn't, you need to grow up, accept that, and move on.
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My literal experience working in prison. Love me a good spit hood, except they would usually save fecal matter in milk cartons to try and throw at you as well.

The chances of you actually being paired with her in rotations is incredibly low first of all. Even if it does happen, just focus on yourself. You’ll be busy enough in rotations dealing with everyone else being maladaptive that this will seem like nothing.
 
To answer your question, if you requested to not be placed on the same clerkship schedule as another student because they aren't your friend, and you think the fact that they aren't your friend will distract you to the extent that it will negatively affect your performance, the best possible outcome for you is to be told "we're not going to do that for you."
 
so this is how it is in my school: residents and attendings write evaluations, those feed into the clinical clerkship evaluations, those go into MSPE. I had a friend for whom a negative comment from ONE resident went all the way through to MSPE.
 
M&L said:
so this is how it is in my school: residents and attendings write evaluations, those feed into the clinical clerkship evaluations, those go into MSPE. I had a friend for whom a negative comment from ONE resident went all the way through to MSPE.
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This is total BS that’s far too common. It felt like we all got one negative comment out of many many positive comments, and it seemed like that one negative comment almost always made it to the MSPE to “even stuff out.” Infuriating.
 
biostats1092 said:
Who writes our MSPE? I thought only comments from our school's dean about our academic performance, and evaluations from preceptors on clinical clerkships.
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This is highly dependent on your school, but theoretically any formal feedback for a clerkship, including that from residents, can end up on your MSPE.

At my med school all comments ended up on MSPE, including critical ones. You could appeal any comment, but generally you would only have success if there was evidence the comment was inaccurate, or if it was from certain "problem" evaluators (e.g. a well-known surgical resident who would lambast every student he evaluated had a majority of his comments pulled). But, this also meant that, if an attending said "I would recommend student X try to show more interest and effort on wards, as their performance was below average" there was a decent chance that'd make it onto the official document.
 
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