This thread has got me craving mad. Been lip smacking like I'm on metoclopramide. I agree with whoever said they're drinking more alone now. This is probably a problem but you can't get help as a med student or you can be screwed when you apply to residency. I resigned myself to the fact that I've been relatively competent during third yr so I can't be too bad
I was drinking jack Daniels and coke in a 7-11 50oz cup. Ps why am I lying awake in the middle of the night
Let's take a quick look at the above: craving mad, lip smacking, drink more alone, probably a problem, can't get help or you'll be screwed (worse, I assume), resigned, relatively competent, can't be too bad.
Oh, wait, also 50 oz basin of cocktail and lying awake at night.
As someone who has been married to a highly-functional heavy- drinking person for over a decade (ok, anecdotal but tons of Al-Anon meetings, counseling and a little substance-abuse course in college can't all be off-base), I promise you that continued use is a serious drag for everyone in your life. Think, future spouse. Think children. Think residents and patients. Think parents and siblings, unless they're drinkers themselves.
Everyone has stress, pain and fear in our lives. Every. Single. One. How we deal with it is our decision and affects everything else.
Clearly, you've already been judged as a highly-competent person with huge potential. So go fulfill it.
Take up jogging or kayaking or photography or ceramics. Go rock climbing or sweat until you bleed in a gym. Just find some sort of stress-release that will ultimately improve the quality of your life, not take it from you.
Life is short. Life is precious. And none of us lives in a vacuum.
If I'm preachy, so be it. I've earned it.
For the rest of you, enjoy your moderate drinking. For those who know it's more than that, don't wait. Get anonymous help now. It is there and it will not screw you, certainly not more than you will screw yourself.
If you still feel hopeless, PM me. You're too young to feel that way.