I've been really disappointed with the way 4th year has been going for me. This was supposed to be a happy time but I feel like I'm far from where I wanted to be at this point. I just finished two sub Is and was told both times that although my heart was in the right place and I showed improvement, I was behind in my ability to pick up the work flow quickly and function independently. They said I worked hard and asked for feedback but simply did not have the natural interviewing and management ability that other 4th years have. I only got a pass in my first sub I and will mostly likely get a pass or high pass in my second sub I. 🙁
I otherwise did well my first two years of medical school and passed step I and step II with scores I'm pretty happy with. I didn't do as well third year (my class rank went from above average to below average) but still managed to show a steady trend of improvement over the course of my rotations from pass to high pass grades and finally an honors in an elective I took after I finished my core rotations. Things were looking up until summer when I got to do my first sub I expecting to shine and get honors and ended up falling short with just a pass. I hoped to redeem my self in my second sub I: came early stayed late, tried to take ownership of my patients, but again was told I only functioned on a pass to high pass level.
At this point, I'm feeling pretty frustrated since it seems like most people manage to get honors in their sub Is as though it were a given. I'm also sad and humbled that despite all these years of hard work and a good book year grades, I ended up on the crappy end of the bell curve. I also worry about struggling as a resident and not finding a sense of pride in my work.
I'm just wondering if there's anyone out there who has been in a similar situation who can offer some support and encouragement. I've heard the "we cant all be above average" quote plenty of times, but I'd like to hear from people who maybe were above average initially and came to struggle later on in their training. I would also love to hear from anyone who struggled through their sub Is and how residency has turned out for you.
Thanks in advance!
I otherwise did well my first two years of medical school and passed step I and step II with scores I'm pretty happy with. I didn't do as well third year (my class rank went from above average to below average) but still managed to show a steady trend of improvement over the course of my rotations from pass to high pass grades and finally an honors in an elective I took after I finished my core rotations. Things were looking up until summer when I got to do my first sub I expecting to shine and get honors and ended up falling short with just a pass. I hoped to redeem my self in my second sub I: came early stayed late, tried to take ownership of my patients, but again was told I only functioned on a pass to high pass level.
At this point, I'm feeling pretty frustrated since it seems like most people manage to get honors in their sub Is as though it were a given. I'm also sad and humbled that despite all these years of hard work and a good book year grades, I ended up on the crappy end of the bell curve. I also worry about struggling as a resident and not finding a sense of pride in my work.
I'm just wondering if there's anyone out there who has been in a similar situation who can offer some support and encouragement. I've heard the "we cant all be above average" quote plenty of times, but I'd like to hear from people who maybe were above average initially and came to struggle later on in their training. I would also love to hear from anyone who struggled through their sub Is and how residency has turned out for you.
Thanks in advance!
