About format of personal statement

Started by Moose0102
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Moose0102

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Hello,

I just have a question about the format of personal statement.
One of my advisor from writing centre is recommending me to write my personal statement as a story like in fictional novel. (Using quotation mark and stuffs)

Is it a normal thing to do it?
(I am just confused since I thought personal statement should be only in sentence form with a lot formality.)

Please give me some feedback as I am really not familiar eith writing this type of essays.

Thanks a lot in advance🙂
 
Moose0102 said:
Hello, I just have a question about the format of personal statement.One of my advisor from writing centre is recommending me to write my personal statement as a story like in fictional novel. (Using quotation mark and stuffs) Is it a normal thing to do it?
(I am just confused since I thought personal statement should be only in sentence form with a lot formality.)
Please give me some feedback as I am really not familiar eith writing this type of essays.
Thanks a lot in advance🙂
Click to expand...
That's probably because he/she has read a few that were precisely that.
 
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doc toothache said:
Err..no. Whom are you quoting?
Click to expand...
One part of my essay was an episode from my shadowing experience with the patients.
The editor suggested me to focus on that specific episode and make it as a main story line using quotation marks and stuff to write the conversation between the patient and myself.
But I am not sure whether this is good idea since I think it is not a common thing to do..
 
Moose0102 said:
One part of my essay was an episode from my shadowing experience with the patients.
The editor suggested me to focus on that specific episode and make it as a main story line using quotation marks and stuff to write the conversation between the patient and myself.
But I am not sure whether this is good idea since I think it is not a common thing to do..
Click to expand...
Why you pm your ps?
 
I told stories and used quotation marks. But I didn't tell it like I fictional story. I used my experiences to show the man that I've become. The problem most people make with their personal statements is that they say things instead of showing things.

For example: Most people will say "I've learned to become a leader through my involvement in college. I was involved with a fraternity and my pre-dental club". Congrats. Good for you. I don't believe that you've become a leader because I just have to take your word for it. I don't know you. Maybe you're lying to me and trying to tell me what you think I want to here.

What you should say is "I was involved with X experience and it left an indelible mark on my heart. Ever since X experience I've had a passion for Y and have found that I truly want to be a leader in my career. As a dentist, I know that I can become a community leader who helps patients with Z. I hope that through my leadership and collaboration with other dentists I will help to leave a permanent mark on my community by expanding access to oral healthcare and helping to eliminate the culture of fear surrounding dentistry".

See the difference? The first example just states that I'm a leader. The second example says I'm a leader because of this specific experience and I want to remain a leader in my career. This is how my leadership skills will help others.

Dental schools read thousands of personal statements. Tons of them suck because they're super boring. They just hit one point to the next point without expanding 0n anything. I'd choose 2 or 3 good experiences and write around those. Weave in and out your career goals, desire as a person, desire to be a dentist, etc. Don't write fiction, but do write a narrative about the person you have become. This is your one main chance to tell dental schools this is who I am as a person, so don't waste it writing cliches. Hope that helps.
 
TourdeTeeth said:
I told stories and used quotation marks. But I didn't tell it like I fictional story. I used my experiences to show the man that I've become. The problem most people make with their personal statements is that they say things instead of showing things.

For example: Most people will say "I've learned to become a leader through my involvement in college. I was involved with a fraternity and my pre-dental club". Congrats. Good for you. I don't believe that you've become a leader because I just have to take your word for it. I don't know you. Maybe you're lying to me and trying to tell me what you think I want to here.

What you should say is "I was involved with X experience and it left an indelible mark on my heart. Ever since X experience I've had a passion for Y and have found that I truly want to be a leader in my career. As a dentist, I know that I can become a community leader who helps patients with Z. I hope that through my leadership and collaboration with other dentists I will help to leave a permanent mark on my community by expanding access to oral healthcare and helping to eliminate the culture of fear surrounding dentistry".

See the difference? The first example just states that I'm a leader. The second example says I'm a leader because of this specific experience and I want to remain a leader in my career. This is how my leadership skills will help others.

Dental schools read thousands of personal statements. Tons of them suck because they're super boring. They just hit one point to the next point without expanding 0n anything. I'd choose 2 or 3 good experiences and write around those. Weave in and out your career goals, desire as a person, desire to be a dentist, etc. Don't write fiction, but do write a narrative about the person you have become. This is your one main chance to tell dental schools this is who I am as a person, so don't waste it writing cliches. Hope that helps.
Click to expand...
Thanks for your reply!

I decided to focus on two major event so my editor suggested me to select one episode from my shadowing experience and write the actual conversation that I made with the patients.
( but i guess it is awkward thing to do lol..)

Anyways, thanks a lot for the feedback!
 
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