Accidentally included in insulting email chain from pre med adviser, what do I do?!

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GoodLuckDolphin

GoodLuckDolphin

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Hi everyone, I ran into this dilemma and I really need your help/opinions. I am currently in the process of applying to medical school. My school has 2 pre med advisers and together they look at all of your letters of rec and write one long composite letter. A week ago I met with one of the pre med advisers about the letter and he let me know that my letter would be submitted by the end of the day. Well a week went by and it still hadn't been submitted, so I was gonna email the pre med adviser I met with, but he was on vacation. So I emailed the other guy politely inquiring as to whether the letter had been submitted or not (first time I ever emailed him all spring semester or summer) I guess someone in the pre med office named Kelsey has to upload the letters to the system, so he wrote to Kelsey asking her to upload my letter so that I would "stop bitching". She then told him I was missing a letter of rec from someone and asked if I wanted it to be sent anyway, he forwarded this message to me asking what I wanted to do, not realizing that the message where he said I was bitching was also part of this email chain. I was really shocked and upset to receive this email, and now I have no idea what to do. Do I ignore it? Do I acknowledge it, and if so how? I obviously don't want to piss him off any further and I want to remain professional. Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated.
 
I'm sorry about your situation. I would bring your concerns up to the dean of advising or whoever is their superior. I am not sure how much work someone who expresses himself so unprofessionally would put into writing a strong composite letter.
 
allantois said:
I'm sorry about your situation. I would bring your concerns up to the dean of advising or whoever is their superior. I am not sure how much work someone who expresses himself so unprofessionally would put into writing a strong composite letter.
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^This. You don't want to take chances on your letter. Also, seems weird that they are writing a committee letter based only off of reading what other people said about you. There's no interview or anything?
 
Dr. America said:
^This. You don't want to take chances on your letter. Also, seems weird that they are writing a committee letter based only off of reading what other people said about you. There's no interview or anything?
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If they aren't contributing anything to the letter except for their negativity, I would go ahead and send individual letters to schools instead. They really don't sound like the best advocates for their students.
 
Dr. America said:
^This. You don't want to take chances on your letter. Also, seems weird that they are writing a committee letter based only off of reading what other people said about you. There's no interview or anything?
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I did do approximately an hour long interview with the other pre med adviser in the spring. But my interview with this adviser lasted about 5 minutes where he basically was like, do you have any questions? No? Good.
 
How the f*ck do these people get jobs?

They haven't been through the process, many of them haven't even taken the pre-reqs, and their information outdated at best.

I wish I could sit on my ass and get paid to do what they do. "Hurr hurr, I have to summarize and upload a document."
 
Sounds like he didn't contribute to writing the letter. Pretend like you didn't see it. People say that sort of stuff all the time, so just deal with it and move on.
 
Maybe he just has a very informal relationship with his secretary? That term is often used with no ill feelings. Maybe I'm just from SoCal, where everyone is more laid back, but I don't necessarily think that he's out to get you.
Unprofessional, yes, unfortunate that you had to see that, yes, but if you think it's a good letter of rec, I wouldn't jump ship just because of that.

EDIT: I really don't see the point of reporting this. The only thing you'd accomplish is pissing more people off. Not like you'd make your letter situation any better.
 
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Lol that's kind of funny honestly. I'm sure behind the scenes in a lot of committees stuff like this is said. They just messed up in hiding it this time.
 
GoodLuckDolphin said:
Hi everyone, I ran into this dilemma and I really need your help/opinions. I am currently in the process of applying to medical school. My school has 2 pre med advisers and together they look at all of your letters of rec and write one long composite letter. A week ago I met with one of the pre med advisers about the letter and he let me know that my letter would be submitted by the end of the day. Well a week went by and it still hadn't been submitted, so I was gonna email the pre med adviser I met with, but he was on vacation. So I emailed the other guy politely inquiring as to whether the letter had been submitted or not (first time I ever emailed him all spring semester or summer) I guess someone in the pre med office named Kelsey has to upload the letters to the system, so he wrote to Kelsey asking her to upload my letter so that I would "stop bitching". She then told him I was missing a letter of rec from someone and asked if I wanted it to be sent anyway, he forwarded this message to me asking what I wanted to do, not realizing that the message where he said I was bitching was also part of this email chain. I was really shocked and upset to receive this email, and now I have no idea what to do. Do I ignore it? Do I acknowledge it, and if so how? I obviously don't want to piss him off any further and I want to remain professional. Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated.
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I would also remove names here to help you remain anonymous
 
GoodLuckDolphin said:
Hi everyone, I ran into this dilemma and I really need your help/opinions. I am currently in the process of applying to medical school. My school has 2 pre med advisers and together they look at all of your letters of rec and write one long composite letter. A week ago I met with one of the pre med advisers about the letter and he let me know that my letter would be submitted by the end of the day. Well a week went by and it still hadn't been submitted, so I was gonna email the pre med adviser I met with, but he was on vacation. So I emailed the other guy politely inquiring as to whether the letter had been submitted or not (first time I ever emailed him all spring semester or summer) I guess someone in the pre med office named Kelsey has to upload the letters to the system, so he wrote to Kelsey asking her to upload my letter so that I would "stop bitching". She then told him I was missing a letter of rec from someone and asked if I wanted it to be sent anyway, he forwarded this message to me asking what I wanted to do, not realizing that the message where he said I was bitching was also part of this email chain. I was really shocked and upset to receive this email, and now I have no idea what to do. Do I ignore it? Do I acknowledge it, and if so how? I obviously don't want to piss him off any further and I want to remain professional. Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated.
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You should sue the school.

That was a joke, by the way. I'm sure the adviser is embarrassed enough already.
 
GoodLuckDolphin said:
Hi everyone, I ran into this dilemma and I really need your help/opinions. I am currently in the process of applying to medical school. My school has 2 pre med advisers and together they look at all of your letters of rec and write one long composite letter. A week ago I met with one of the pre med advisers about the letter and he let me know that my letter would be submitted by the end of the day. Well a week went by and it still hadn't been submitted, so I was gonna email the pre med adviser I met with, but he was on vacation. So I emailed the other guy politely inquiring as to whether the letter had been submitted or not (first time I ever emailed him all spring semester or summer) I guess someone in the pre med office named Kelsey has to upload the letters to the system, so he wrote to Kelsey asking her to upload my letter so that I would "stop bitching". She then told him I was missing a letter of rec from someone and asked if I wanted it to be sent anyway, he forwarded this message to me asking what I wanted to do, not realizing that the message where he said I was bitching was also part of this email chain. I was really shocked and upset to receive this email, and now I have no idea what to do. Do I ignore it? Do I acknowledge it, and if so how? I obviously don't want to piss him off any further and I want to remain professional. Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Get over it. The advisor was telling this lady to get her crap together so they would stop getting emails from people who weren't theirs to deal with... if your letter gets put in, let it go
 
If there were more to it, it would be worth bringing it to the attention of his superior.

But... I'm going to suggest that this was a single off-hand remark that the guy thought he was making in cofidence to someone in his office. I'd bet that it doesn't reflect the content or tone of the letter. And that bringing the matter up with anyone will not really help you at all, or result in any meaningful disciplinary action against the advisor.

It really isn't such a terrible thing to say, and far worse things have been and will be said about you behind closed doors throughout your career. Thicken your skin a little and move on. Accumulate a little good karma so that maybe when someone overhears some random remark that you make about them, they don't blow it up into a scandal.

I expected from the title of the post that you'd accidentally been included in an email that severely insulted you, maybe attacked your character or competence. But you were just described as having bitched a little. No biggie.
 
Get your letter submitted FIRST and then go at it with his supervisor/the other dean. That is exceedingly unprofessional.
 
sb247 said:
Get over it. The advisor was telling this lady to get her crap together so they would stop getting emails from people who weren't theirs to deal with... if your letter gets put in, let it go
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My same thought.

You think THAT was "very insulting" and flustered you to the point "you don't know what to do?" Wait until you start actually working in a hospital come rotations and residency and see some of the drama, back stabbing and ****-talking that people don't even bother to wait till the person is gone to do that goes on in hospitals and that system of hierarchy and drama. Note this is coming from someone who isn't even in med school yet and has still seen this working in a hospital.

Your pre-med advisor is a clown. Just like a whole lot of other pre-med advisors. There are alot of clowns to deal with on the road to becoming a doctor. Just get ready for the next one you will inevitably meet and move on.
 
Write him back and tell him to have Kelsey upload the letter because you, too, are eager to "stop b****ing." Then say thank you, and sign your name. Letter gets uploaded and point gets made. Win-win all around.
 
this is a fairly mild thing to say, and was a way for the advisor to tell the administrative assistant to get on with the work. I doubt it was written out of any malice the advisor felt for you.
 
GoodLuckDolphin said:
Hi everyone, I ran into this dilemma and I really need your help/opinions. I am currently in the process of applying to medical school. My school has 2 pre med advisers and together they look at all of your letters of rec and write one long composite letter. A week ago I met with one of the pre med advisers about the letter and he let me know that my letter would be submitted by the end of the day. Well a week went by and it still hadn't been submitted, so I was gonna email the pre med adviser I met with, but he was on vacation. So I emailed the other guy politely inquiring as to whether the letter had been submitted or not (first time I ever emailed him all spring semester or summer) I guess someone in the pre med office named Kelsey has to upload the letters to the system, so he wrote to Kelsey asking her to upload my letter so that I would "stop bitching". She then told him I was missing a letter of rec from someone and asked if I wanted it to be sent anyway, he forwarded this message to me asking what I wanted to do, not realizing that the message where he said I was bitching was also part of this email chain. I was really shocked and upset to receive this email, and now I have no idea what to do. Do I ignore it? Do I acknowledge it, and if so how? I obviously don't want to piss him off any further and I want to remain professional. Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated.
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1) Get your letter submitted
2) Talk to him afterwards about it. Don't escalate it to his supervisor.
 
ElCapone said:
1) Get your letter submitted
2) Talk to him afterwards about it. Don't escalate it to his supervisor.
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2.1 Bring cookies. Say it is an apology for having bitched at him about the letter. Wink.
 
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Honestly, it sounds like the sort of thing I would say in order to nag my coworker to get their @$$ in gear without pissing them off. Some people are easiest to motivate if you frame it as a "it's not that you're slow, it's that these people are whiny" us vs annoying customers/premeds thing.
 
I would probably laugh it off because I think thats kind of funny. People talk like that all the time although thats pretty unprofessional to do in a work environment. I wouldn't bring it up if I was you until the letter is uploaded if you really feel that you have to say something.
 
It was a mistake to send it to you, but it is probably something would write to a coworker as a joke as well.
 
At this point definitely pretend it didn't happen. AFTER you get into med school, if you still feel like doing something about this, forward the email to the advisor's superior and cc the dean of your college with one sentence about how it's unprofessional, sit back and watch.
 
efle said:
I don't think so, pretty sure one of the requirements for being a mod is having zero sense of humor
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People in this profession occasionally confuse political correctness with professionalism, IMO. Combine that with the hyper-offendable nature of millennials/premeds in general, and SDN becomes a pretty humorless place at times.
 
ZedsDed said:
People in this profession occasionally confuse political correctness with professionalism, IMO. Combine that with the hyper-offendable nature of millennials/premeds in general, and SDN becomes a pretty humorless place at times.
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you calling me overly sensitive? Reported, enjoy your ban ****lord
 
efle said:
you calling me overly sensitive? Reported, enjoy your ban ****lord
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I refuse to understand sarcasm! Reported you back! Taste the ban hammer b****
 

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ZedsDed said:
I refuse to understand sarcasm! Reported you back! Taste the ban hammer b****
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You jest but its just a matter of time until wingedscapula takes another one of my posts literally and I have to become a hammer dodging VPNer
 
Winged Scapula said:
decided on by the SDN volunteer team
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exactly, it's at your discretion whether a reported post really is a random, nonsensical attack on another user (totally ban worthy) or if it's sarcastic hyperbole intended as ribbing for their unnecessary snideness...

#stillsalty
 
efle said:
exactly, it's at your discretion whether a reported post really is a random, nonsensical attack on another user (totally ban worthy) or if it's sarcastic hyperbole intended as ribbing for their unnecessary snideness...

#stillsalty
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Your implication is that it is MY discretion rather than a team decision.

At any rate, yes my salty friend, sometimes we make mistakes or choose action that might have been better handled in other ways. #we'reallhuman
 
Winged Scapula said:
Your implication is that it is MY discretion rather than a team decision.

At any rate, yes my salty friend, sometimes we make mistakes or choose action that might have been better handled in other ways. #we'reallhuman
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yes we reall human indeed
 
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